In the uh, blue corner, we have the challenger, the national champion, the "Yo Snapz D00d," member of the 1337 d00dz, EeveeTrainer!
In the.... red corner, we have the uh, champion, uh yeah, the owner of PBS, high-ranking member of the well-known Overland Park Pokémon League, member of the ÜberPympz, TeeJay!
This battle was one for the books. It came down to the VERY end, luckier fighter wins. Props to ET, this battle did not deserve to be R1. And now...... the main event!
After having troubles with my computer, I drove over to Biffster's house to fight. That took about half an hour what with the figuring out what we should do, and the 5-10 minutes of driving and whatnot.
When the battle actually started, I had Alakazam, and ET had Chansey. Predicting a T-wave, I send out Rhydon. The wave stops at his feet. Chansey lets loose a NASTY Ice Beam, knocking Rhydon down to 39%. Rhydon in turn responds with a less-damaging Rock Slide, to 60%.
Rhydon goes out, Snorlax replaces him. ET, the clever bastard, T-waves Snorlax. Lapras replaces Chansey, and eats a paralyzing Body Slam. Snorlax Amnesias while Lapras is FP'ed. Lapras lets a Confuse Ray fly, and Snorlax hits himself and takes Blizzards and Body Slams til he can pymp no more. That was 5 turns, mind you.
Good ol' Starmie pops out of his Poké Ball. Chansey replaces Lapras, but eats a CH Thunderbolt, taking Chansey from 60% to 41%. Starmie surfs Chansey to 25%, and Starmie is paralyzed. Chansey recovers while Starmie sits there FP'ed. Chansey uses a T=bolt, crippling Starmie to 55%, and Starmie responds with a Thunder Wave. Starmie Recovers, and ET, incorrectly predicting a switch, hits Starmie with a CH Ice Beam. Starmie at 77%.
I recall Starmie, and send out Zapdos, who I fed many treats to after the battle. Zapdos eats a CH Thunderbolt. Imagine, Starmie would have died, too! Zappy at 68%. Zapdos Light Screens, and Chansey is FP'ed. The situation is getting tenser. In response to the Snorlax incident, Chansey is FP'ed 3 turns in a row which leads to three fatal Drill Pecks.
While ET takes 10 minutes to calculate all possible situations, the chat is abuzz. People are spitting out statements involving luck, skill, chanting, and taunts. ET sends out an Exeggutor. SC, Biffster, and I realize he has no ground types. We realize what he is going to do, too. But with Rhydon at 39%, there isn't a Pokemon that will survive. We sit back and pray for a CH Drill Peck. It doesn't come. Egger takes Zapdos down in a CH Explosion (I don't think the CH was required to kill), and before I realize what happened, it's
With it all tied up, we are off to a fresh start. I send out Alakazam, and he sends out a Lapras, paralyzed at 74%. A Special Lowering Psychic drops Lapras to 44%, while Kazam spins around in confusion. Kazam regains control of himself, however, to launch a killer Psychic at Lapras, ending Lapras' previous luck streak.
Out comes Tauros. It's the classic battle between the Special and Physical powerhouses. Both are fully healed up. Tauros gets paralyzed, but so does Kazam, thanks to a Body Slam. Kazam at 46%.
I switch Alakazam out to Rhydon, who eats a Body Slam to 29%. After knocking Tauros to 61% with Earthquake, Rhydon falls to a counter-Earthquake.
Carefully analyzing the possibilities, I send out Tauros. I had calculated Hyper Beam, and an average Hyper Beam would NOT have killed ET's 61% Tauros. Whether or not he knew this, he sent out Starmie, who eats a Body Slam and gets paralyzed to boot. Starmie at 67%.
Yet again, a Hyper Beam will not finish the job. Being overprotective of my Tauros's status, I switch to Alakazam, who is not affected by the T-wave. Alakazam uses Seismic Toss. Starmie uses Surf. Kazam at 17%. Mie at 36%. Both paralyzed. An FP'ed Kazam eats a Surf. An FP'ed Kazam sits and watches Starmie recover. An FP'ed Kazam bites the dust.
I send out Starmie. My Mie: 77%. ET's Mie: 85%. Both paralyzed. You know what happens. We both choose T-bolt, and whoever pulls off two first, wins. Well, guess who got a CH T-bolt and went first...... me. I don't feel too good about beating his Starmie like that, mind you.
It's heating up. It's winding down. Let's look at the current situation:
Starmie (out): 77%, par
Taruos: 61%, par
Out comes his Tauros. Starmie Surfs. Tauros Body Slams. Starmie Surfs.
The Pokémon ET had kept hidden til the end comes out. What is it? Alakazam. Alakazam blasts Starmie with Psychic, Mie at 19%. Starmie paralyzes Kazam, setting up Tauros to finish it. Alakazam is FP'ed, so Starmie Recovers. Alakazam uses Reflect. Starmie Surfs. Kazam: 60%. Starmie: 69%
Zam recovers. Starmie Surfs. CH! Zam: 43%. Mie: 69%
Zam is FP'ed. Mie Surfs. Zam to 15%
Zam recovers. Mie Surfs. ZH! Zam to 10%
Zam is FP'ed. FINISH HIM! Mie Surfs. Fatality.
2-0, Your Champion, TeeJay of the ÜberPympz
The chat erupts into horrays and tears. I shake ET's hand, admit to being a lucky bastard, and sign off. Driving home it's raining hard. I get home, log onto FTP, and pull the log out of archives. The log can be found here.
In IRC chat, as I'm writing this, ET has gone officially insane. He is proclaiming to us all that we need to lead a life worth living, and Pokémon is holding us back. He sure is taking this hard. Massive props to him, wherever he may be right now. Props to Biffster, for letting me use his house to fight from and coaching. Props to StarCaliber for being a good coach. Props to all peeps in chat rooting for me. No Props to Biffster's brother, who was constantly annoying me and wanting me to play Mega Man X5 with him.
I look forward to R2, and the ÜberPympz road to victory!
She wasn't quite my girlfriend, but we had sex and went to zoos together, which is all I really demand from a woman. -Mr. K