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Author Topic: My pet robot peed on John Turturro
White Cat
Nobody knows why I'm an admin.
Member # 42

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posted 07-03-2007 06:02 AM      Profile for White Cat   Author's Homepage   Email White Cat      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Quite good overall. Lots of nifty action sequences (especially the first car chase), fun nods to the old-time fans, Shia LaWhatever was a great lead character, the girl was very hot, and there was less Bernie Mac than I expected.

Way back when this movie was first announced in 2003, I said that the biggest potential pitfall was if they made the humans the main characters instead of the Transformers. Well, the humans are the main characters... but that didn't hurt it as much as I thought. True, only half the robots (Optimus, Bumblebee, Megatron, Ironhide, Frenzy) got any characterization whatsoever, but what they did get fit pretty well. Here's hoping the sequel has a lot more robot talk, though.

One other gripe: the final battle was way too busy, and some of the time it was difficult to figure out what was going on. (Was that Starscream shooting Ironhide, or the humans shooting Barricade?)

In conclusion, as long as you're not expecting an exact replica of a G1 episode, and can at least tolerate Michael Bay, you'll probably like this movie.

From: Calgary | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Face
I invented cancer.
Member # 1916

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posted 07-03-2007 09:08 PM      Profile for Face   Author's Homepage   Email Face   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This is a game, right? If so, I don't know what the hell it is, kthnx

- - - - -
Weezing!

From: Hackensack, nj | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mr. K
Racist
Member # 2

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posted 07-04-2007 05:39 AM      Profile for Mr. K   Author's Homepage   Email Mr. K   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I just have no interest in this thing. They advertise it as something like Independence Day (which was ludicrously bad), Michael Bay makes shitty movies, and it doesn't have anything to do with the actual story I like.

They have in no way interested me as a consumer, except perhaps for the morbid curiosity of how much I'll hate it.

Frankly, I'd rather watch Piranha vs. Mouse II.

As for Turturro, I would have included an image of Buscemi with the "He's doing it for the money" quote under him from the Armageddon teaser poster if images.google.com hadn't failed me.

From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
cogito
Farting Nudist
Member # 3809

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posted 07-04-2007 07:36 PM      Profile for cogito   Email cogito   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I need you like Ben Affleck needs acting school,
He was terrible in that film.
I need you like Cuba Gooding needed a bigger part,
He's way better then Ben Affleck.
And now all I can think about is your smile,
And that shitty movie too,
Pearl Harbor sucked and I miss you

From: USA | Registered: Jun 2005  |  IP: Logged
Lark84
My skeleton is made of creamy nougat.
Member # 1186

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posted 07-07-2007 05:15 PM      Profile for Lark84     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
SPOILER ALERT!

I think it was 50% win and 50% "why? WHY?". It was like some kind of oscillating boolean variable, flipping between 1 and 0 at semi-random intervals.

I thought the love story would be all bad, but it wasn't - I really liked some parts of it. I thought all the robot parts would rock, but they didn't.

I don't have any fond childhood memories of the Transformers, but the people I saw it with do - and they seemed to like it.

The hour after the opening battle was probably the worst, because it was more like a teen comedy than about the Transformers, but if you disregard how misplaced it felt, a lot of it was still good.

The Transformers playing hide-and-seek in Sam's garden was pretty WTF, especially since that was the most character developement they were given - apart from that (and a minor scene in which they locate the Allspark), they were just involved in battle.

The blond NSA analyst, while having a fun friend and leading to a lot of references I found amusing, was completely unnecessary. She didn't even try to steal Mikaela from Sam, which is what I thought she would do when I first saw her, because why else would they include another hot chick, right?

The final blow of the final battle was a real letdown for me - I would have preferred a drawn-out hand-to-hand between Optimus and Megatron, instead we got a pretty big anti-climax. I was saying to myself, for a good five minutes, "You're kidding. Sam did not just finish Megatron in two seconds." The Transformers movie - a binary roller-coaster to the very end.

Perhaps you long-time Transformers fans can explain something to me - is the Cube and the Allspark one and the same? At first I got the impression they weren't, but at the end, it seemed like Allspark = Cube, and the terms were used pretty interchangeably.

[edited for clarity]

[ 07-08-2007, 08:32 AM: Message edited by: Lark84 ]

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White Cat
Nobody knows why I'm an admin.
Member # 42

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posted 07-08-2007 04:02 PM      Profile for White Cat   Author's Homepage   Email White Cat      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
In this movie, yes, the Cube and the AllSpark are the same thing.

To my knowledge, the only other place "AllSpark" has been used in TF is in Beast Machines, where it was the term for the Transformers' afterlife.

- - - - -
"Anybody gone into Whole Foods lately and see what they charge for arugula?"
-- Barack Obama, campaigning in Iowa

From: Calgary | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
10,000Lb.Snorlax
loves long time.
Member # 13

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posted 07-09-2007 08:32 PM      Profile for 10,000Lb.Snorlax   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
1.) K you take yourself and a movie based on a 1980's cartoon about talking robots too srsly! It's a blockbuster lighten up!

2.) The movie I would give a B based on someone who didn't really care about it in the first place. (edit C I really hate the Aussie)

Here are some noticeable goods/bads I had with it

Goods:

-Good job of casting Shea Leboooeuff? guy; he was good
-Cool story involving Bumble-Bee as undercover, slick new ride for "Destiny Human". Very glad he wasn't featured as a VW marketing campaign ("I'm willing to be the studio would have been open to that" :[ )

-Good job killing one of the Autobots

-Good job making the bad guys seem worthy opponents. They literally wiped the floor with humans and Autobots for the majority of the movie.

Bads:

-Lead "Hot girl." I'm sorry but she sucked. Everything about her. Her character, her acting, her lines, the direction she got sucked sucked sucked. She had absolutely zero purpose and should have been excised from the entire story.
Notice: The girl/character in Disturbia did a much better job of playing the exact same role, and the director did a much better job of sexy-fying her up in that film.

-Robot transformation animation. Was a whole lot of mass appearing from an invisible fourth dimension. Instead of engineering actual models that transformed they were very lazy and instead decided to have panels and surfaces meld out of solid surfaces and blow up magically to reveal tons of previously invisible, collapsed steel. It was like they gave the intern access to 1996 "smerfing" technology. Instead of gasping like I did in Jurassic Park I [Roll Eyes] They played the "it's all future alien stuff" card instead of making it actually visually convincing.

-Action scenes involving the robots. Michael Bay sucked at this. You have no idea what the Fark you are watching when you get .7 second cuts with smeared robotic CG moving at 100000 mphs from angles that rotate 180 degrees upside down and the camera man's arms are shaking. very frustrating.

-The Screen play. It was full of fruity, contrievances that I personally found annoyingly retarded. Example: The lead boy has hots for the lead girl. He is standard hormone driven 16 y/o ; she is standard sex queen of the highschool. At a time during the movie it is divulged that she has criminal history for stealing cars. The writers lose all credibillity for the characters they have created (and the editors do a poor job of not cutting the scene) when the Lead Boy throws a mini-hissy fit and gets all emo upon discovering his Teenage Sex Queen has been naughty BY STEALING CARS and learning to hot- rod them up with her father. Gimme a Break. that would just make her more attractive to him, not less [Embarrassed]

another example: The Teenage cliche/archetype of "dorky, embarrassing parents" was waaaay over-played. It was just plain embarrassing (for the movie's sake) to watch the jokes try and be delivered.

-Autobot Jazz as "black" robot. Transformers do not need human ethnic identities to function as characters [Embarrassed] plz dnt

-I couldn't tell what the hell the King of the Decepticons transformed into. A metal eagle? An X-wing? The director never gave you a clean view.

-The aforementioned king of the decepticons had "scary teeth". it's a robot, optimus didn't have any, etc etc.

-The Blonde Australian NSA agent. God I never realized how terrible the Aus accent can be on a woman until I had to watch this "hot woman" give nerds something to jerk off to by teeching computer stuff 2 audieyence. I don't know why films see themselves as avant garde by casting models as technical geniuses. It's the same with japanese cartoons and 14 y/o girl samurai/warrior masters.

- The scenes involving decoded audio signals intercepted by the NSA. (And this is a biggie that makes me want to write them a nasty letter). Essentially the decoding of the alien audio files that were intercepted by the NSA can be achieved by 1.) Loading video of sound wave into Final Cut Pro. 2.) Zoom in x 50 3.) witness floating characters of alien calligraphy circling eachother 4.) profit . It's essentially the same as a story told to me in college of a professor's former employer who was under the impression that ascii characters were stored on a hard-disk. It's infuriating to anyone such as myself who has tried in vain to explain a technical profession to laymen in terms they can easily conceptualize. I think I would be better just using the Transformer analogy of taking a microscope and zooming in on a thumb drive to see dozens of floating Start menus and google Search results. I'm letting the fact go that an Aus born citizen is allowed access to matters involving the NSA [Wink]

[ 07-09-2007, 08:35 PM: Message edited by: 10,000Lb.Snorlax ]

From: Denver | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Lark84
My skeleton is made of creamy nougat.
Member # 1186

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posted 07-10-2007 03:50 AM      Profile for Lark84     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
White Cat: In this movie, yes, the Cube and the AllSpark are the same thing.

Thank you, I suspected as much but I did not catch it clearly while watching it.

10k, reading your "bads" list made me grind my teeth again as you reminded me of just how fucking bad some parts of the movie were.

Apparently I must have just supressed the audio signal "decoding" scenes, as well as some computer technobabble, but now it all comes back to me and it isn't pretty.

You need to remember though that these things are thrown in just to sound cool, just like they throw in military babble which probably makes a military geek grind his teeth, but it does not affect me since I don't really care if the commander uses the wrong words when giving a firing order.

Somewhat related: they used very modern military technology - the latest stealth jets (F 22 Raptor I think), huge-ass tanks and laser-guided missiles and whatnot. That was way cool, compared to the Top Gun-esque level of military technology I usually associate with action films. (but I guess some Air Force guy in the audience went "Oh man, this shit is so bad! You never use a Raptor in that tactical situation!" [Wink] )

But yeah, the bad parts where just utterly horrendous. Thanks for reminding me. Good God, I can't believe that just before reading 10k's post I actually considered going to see it again...

[edit: typo]

[edit 2:] I really need to brush up on my communication skills... Previously I wrote this:

[The blonde analyst] didn't even try to steal Mikaela from Sam

But what I meant was of course this:

[The blonde analyst] didn't even try to steal Sam from Mikaela

[ 07-10-2007, 10:35 AM: Message edited by: Lark84 ]

Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mr. K
Racist
Member # 2

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posted 07-10-2007 12:14 PM      Profile for Mr. K   Author's Homepage   Email Mr. K   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Lark84: But what I meant was of course...

For a second I thought it might at least have some lesbo action.

Also props to 10K for being all u r 2 srs! and then writing a college thesis on why it sucked. I was just splaining that I thought their marketing sucks.

If you're going to make a movie about something as silly as Transformers, I reasoned that it should at least appeal to the core audience in some way. Of course, I am obviously insane, because it looks like all you have to do is make an "event movie" tied to a product someone has heard of and it will make gazillions.

Or maybe people actually like Michael Bay. I hadn't considered that putting his name on a movie might actually make someone want to see it.

I know I've bitched about this before, but they should make all kids watch Aliens so they learn to demand more from their popcorn movies.

Nuke it from orbit, motherfuckers. It's the only way to be sure.

Also wow, I wish I'd thought of squatting this net real estate.

[ 07-10-2007, 12:16 PM: Message edited by: Mr. K ]

From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
MewtwoSama
Asshole
Member # 12

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posted 07-10-2007 06:46 PM      Profile for MewtwoSama   Author's Homepage   Email MewtwoSama   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This movie sucked.

It was EXACTLY like watching a Godzilla movie.

I had to sit through 120 minutes of stupid human story waiting for the good parts. At least stupid human stories in Godzilla movies had less retarded dialogue and a lot less plot holes.

From: Abyss of Evil | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
MewtwoSama
Asshole
Member # 12

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posted 07-10-2007 11:38 PM      Profile for MewtwoSama   Author's Homepage   Email MewtwoSama   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by 10,000Lb.Snorlax:

-Autobot Jazz as "black" robot. Transformers do not need human ethnic identities to function as characters [Embarrassed] plz dnt

And what was up with Jazz red-shirting both the 80s movie and this one?
From: Abyss of Evil | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
White Cat
Nobody knows why I'm an admin.
Member # 42

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posted 07-21-2007 03:48 AM      Profile for White Cat   Author's Homepage   Email White Cat      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
u fool jazz didn't die in TFTM taht wuz prowl and ironhide and ratchet and maybe brawn stupid n00b
From: Calgary | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged


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