Dark_Herakurosu
Farting Nudist
Member # 1677
Member Rated:
|
posted 11-01-2004 02:18 PM
If you have to do book repair, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we sacrifice our basic freedoms, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you buy cheap knock-offs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we aren't having more sex than the Greeks, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we stop buying SUVs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people don't stop using a certain melodramatic phrase, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we limit the amount of melted cheese on our nachos, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't buy my mom a DVD caddy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't have that third martini, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Iraqi poets can publish their works with proper capitalization, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there is blue smoke coming from the College of Cardinals, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there is no one in the room wearing pants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't quack like a duck in the next ten seconds, mister, that means the terrorists have already won!
If small children don't learn the proper structure of the haiku form, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to do book repair, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the MPAA accuses you of piracy and you do not have an eyepatch or a parrot, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get over-priced, low-on-actual-chocolate eggs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If every bad thing that happens gets blamed on terrorism, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to tell you one more time, young man,, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you change the channel, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't buy blue ketchup at the supermarket, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man can't attend a rock concert with a fried chicken bucket on his head, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't find my car keys, that means the terrorists have already won!
If if you don't have broadband, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're happy and you know it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't max out my credit cards and blow my pay checks this month, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the sum of the squares of the legs is equal to the square of the hypotenuse, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think being a geek is a bad thing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If ye don't hand over yer dubloons, arrrr, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the groundhog sees his shadow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we let homosexuals marry, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the leprechaun gets the Lucky Charms, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this great new sitcom ends up cancelled, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't think of your genitals as a dirty little secret to snicker about, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't punt the squirrels, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush gets to steal the country AGAIN, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get a decent sugar-free vanilla soy latte in every podunk town in Ohio, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the New York Times runs the headline "TERRORISTS WIN; Mets 0 of 5 for series", that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't read this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we run out of coffee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Assaulted Nuts won't perform, that means the terrorists have already won!
If p and ~p, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get a pony for Christmas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you haven't done your taxes yet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Christian performance artists are allowed to tell children the Easter Bunny does not exist, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the FBI gets to read your email, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get eyeball jewelry, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't ask me out, that means the terrorists have already won!
If pink is the new black, that means the terrorists have already won!
If President Bush doesn't go on vacation every other week, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Angel and Spike don't make out before the series is over, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you talk on your cell phone in the library, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can see your thong through your pants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we can't go to war over "weapons of mass destruction program-related activities", that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Daily Show is a more credible news source than actual news sources, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are wearing white sweatpants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we can't go hunting for spammers, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can find porn on the internet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a relegious fanatic seizes control of the country and declares war at whim, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I could save time in a bottle, that means the terrorists have already won!
If train A is travelling South at 55 mph, while train B is travelling North at 62 mph, that means the terrorists have already won!
If nøyer oss ikke bare med å erstatte dine skader, that means the terrorists have already won!
If bad things happen to Weird Al Yankovic, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't cut that shit out right now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to come in to work on Saturday, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Prince Paul's album goes plat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If The Passion falls out the box office top 10, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the long-splintered social groups of Iraq join forces only because they hate America THAT MUCH, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i never get laid again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ryan gets back with Marissa on Fox's "the OC", that means the terrorists have already won!
If people can throw away trash at subway stations, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I could turn back time, if I could find a way, I'd take back all those words that hurt you, and, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If (terrorists.wins less than or equal to 0) { printf("Thank god for Homeland Security!"); } else, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the people of Flordia don't vote for the candidate we tell them to, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the planet's natural supply of petroleum is exhausted, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to come back there, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I sit here for another hour hitting RELOAD, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you vote for John Kerry, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you question the president, that means the terrorists have already won!
If R. doesn't get laid soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If weird guys stop approaching Sushiesque on the T, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists lose, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get some work done around here, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't sunbathe nude on the front lawn, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get flavored non-stick rice, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get by anywhere in the world just by speaking English and flashing American currency, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people mute their TVs during commercials, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the war on terrorism never ends, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have broadband internet access, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the number of fingers I am holding up is less than 4, that means the terrorists have already won!
If os terroristas têm ganhado já, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I eat my hat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If thousands die in a wild goose chase and the president makes jokes about it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists know they can use the magic key to unlock the chest with the lightning sword and defeat the evil wizard, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you roll doubles three times in a row, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think that shirt goes with those pants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't write this paper tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't write a dissertation entitled "The epistemology of cock: Hegemony, dominance, and ludic space", that means the terrorists have already won!
If it's 7-3 and the clock has only two seconds left on it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you wonder if you're too naked, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they've drunk you under the table, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't have sex with me and my friend, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the FBI can't wiretap Communists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If monkeys don't make you laugh, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I pick my nose, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you really love me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they take away our internet porn, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you spent your reward on ale and whores, that means the terrorists have already won!
If kottke.org links to sushiesque.com, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get free porn on cable, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't eat your veggies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I keep getting comment spam on my site, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jon Stewart doesn't speak at Hampshire graduation this year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the lifeforce drips from the trees, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you save all your phone calls for your weekend minutes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people keep bitching about the price of gas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If TV becomes swamped with reality shows, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't see the back of my head, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you give comfort and encouragement to the enemy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Founding Fathers are spinning in their graves, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't go to jesserinyu.net (shameless plug), that means the terrorists have already won!
If you find yourself thinking "well, I'm not gonna be voting for Kerry, I'm gonna be voting against Bush", that means the terrorists have already won!
If that boil doesn't stop swelling by Monday, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Burker King stops letting you have it your way, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you would like to leave a message at this extension, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jesus ain't saving, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they re-release mountain dew live wire, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists declare victory on CBS while holding up the heads of our leaders, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you keep running around the house with scissors like that, young man,, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we lose, that means the terrorists have already won!
If any random event happens that we prefer didn't, that means the terrorists have already won!
If that new terrorist-based reality show on Fox has good ratings, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we all end up hating America, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I should die before I wake, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we forget what it means to be human, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Fugazi gets to use all the bandwidth there is, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to miss my favorite television programs while I'm in class, that means the terrorists have already won!
If societal pressures persuade anyone to act in a way contrary to their own well-being and happiness, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to turn this car around, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you won't add your name to this petition, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I spent my last ten dollars on birth control and beer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I stick my hand into a beehive and get stung by bees, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the US topples the secularist Middle Eastern government that was standing in the way of fundamentalist control of the entire region, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't love me by now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this year's summer blockbusters don't contain a positive message about America's role in the international community, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get what I want for Christmas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If declining levels of mana cause Gyaos populations to skyrocket, that means the terrorists have already won!
If looks could kill, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you buy an ugly damned Humvee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Angel is really cancelled, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you only see one movie this year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If YOU DO NOT ALLOW ME TO MAKE TRANSFER OF LEGALLY ACQUIRED FUNDS FROM MY HOME COUNTRY GABON, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't find a decent, active Super Nintendo ROMs site, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists are leading by 78 points with 15 seconds to go, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't control Australia within 5 turns, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Rom, Spaceknight, is not successful in his persistent war against the Dire Wraith menace, that means the terrorists have already won!
If y'all really wanna rock the funky beats, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we do not rapidly adapt to using the term "marriage equality", that means the terrorists have already won!
If even the dykes are taking birth control pills, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the commies dont seem so scary, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush gets elected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my hair all falls out this year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you dont immediatly get in bed with me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we stop watching Reality Teevee shows, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we think we can "win" a war against "terror", that means the terrorists have already won!
If I acquire a million dollars and purchase for you a REAL green dress, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we can't invent some other threat with which to scare you into voting the way we want, that means the terrorists have already won!
If pigs grow wings and fly away, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're reading this message, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you hit reload one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If NASA talks to reporters about climate change, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can no longer get peppered camel jerky, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I was asked to carry a package, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have already won, and I am the terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the publisher's clearinghouse sweepstakes van is on its way to Iraq, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you could only feel the way she loves me, maybe you'll understand, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Hell freezes over, pigs fly, and the dead rise from the graves screeching for brains, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you click here, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people start using this randomizer as a cheap venue for blog self-promotion (oh and by the way click here for free blog goodness), that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm not wearing any pants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all your base are belong to us, that means the terrorists have already won!
If wishes are horses, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't be with the one you love, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the pope shits in the woods, that means the terrorists have already won!
If (according to tonight's Simpsons) "you don't buy my album", that means the terrorists have already won!
If people stop saying: "if X, that means the terrorists have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get laid for love nor money, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the opinion section of the paper prints unpopular opinions, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the western states haven't reported yet, but exit polls put the terrorists at 56%, with a 3% margin of error, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are eating kebabs instead of "freedom skewers", that means the terrorists have already won!
If democracy is not suspended during wartime, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the announcer screams, "GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOALL!", that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's still a guy in Bush's cabinet who literally thinks calico cats are agents of Satan, and who gets annointed with oil in Biblical style every time he takes a new office, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't get four weeks of vacation just like the rest of the civilized world, that means the terrorists have already won!
If 53 out of every 76 bear attacks on New Jersey homes are successful (thank you, Harper's), that means the terrorists have already won!
If my girlfriend becomes a personal injury lawyer, and I defend the tobacco companies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If law school becomes a jolly good time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Britney Spears continues to be one the main arbiters of popular taste, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have 99 problems and a bitch is one, that means the terrorists have already won!
If 743y 4@\/3 t34 |\/|@p4@x, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they're playing the game on the next difficulty level, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have beaten level 8-4 and are playing through again with all the goombas replaced by Buzzy Beetles, that means the terrorists have already won!
If anyone ever dares use "terror" as an adjective again, let alone in reference to anything other than terrorist acts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't figure out who submitted a win condition centered on my sex life, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Konami is thanking them for playing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't visit www.geeksyndicate.net, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you make me turn this car around, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't be a success at PaRappa the Rapper, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all my friends can't stop talking about how they have to get married RIGHT NOW, that means the terrorists have already won!
If low cut shirts and tiny tops are replaced with moo moos , that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Yankees get Carlos Beltran, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your hands aren't in your pants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we continue to flip off the rest of the world, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we are all forced by big brother to be a THEOCRACY, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush ever succeeds, or even gets laid, that means the terrorists have already won!
If J. Lo makes yet another "movie", that means the terrorists have already won!
If I listen long enough to you, thereby finding a way to believe that it's all true (knowing that you lied, straight-faced, while I cried), that means the terrorists have already won!
If McDonald's phases out the oh-so-america "super size" menu, that means the terrorists have already won!
If somebody makes a random "if you ___ the terrorists have already won" generator, that means the terrorists have already won!
If anybody knows who the real terrorists are, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mack Daddy makes you jump, jump, but Daddy Mack does not, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they have 99 p-wings, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you down an eggplant in one gulp, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Red Sox win the World Series, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think the terrorists have lost, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they score 10 wickets against your team, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Americans begin another war, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Christine doesn't date me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you hear a loud booming noise, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have randomly been assigned a spouse by a religious authority, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your ears are burning, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you aren't allowed to smoke in a freakin' bar, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't find those gosh durn WMDs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to sit through one more self-righteous performance piece by an artist only interested in reaching an audience that already agrees with their viewpoint, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they're up by 16 run in the ninth inning, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they have all six wedges and are sitting in the center of the board, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't get this nifty NPR tote bag, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you say that music by Elton John is "okay", that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't believe Iraq is part of the war on terror, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I were a rich man, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't go down on me, baby, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all you are saying is "give peace a chance", that means the terrorists have already won!
If this statement is false, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't find a hot chick to have sex with, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I run out of duct tape before I've finished covering my whole head, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you do use any words with more than seven letters on a regular basis, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't push my pathetic selfish agenda, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you invite Chewbacca to your barbeque, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get a song a day, for a year, just like Apple promises I will, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If TiVo doesn't allow me to up to 40 hours of my favorite shows, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you land on Illinois ave, and the terrorists have a hotel on it, and all you have is 76 dollars and three mortgaged railroads, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kerry wins in November, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't fall asleep on the couch, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you keep reloading this page until your mouse button wears out, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't fit inside my own mail box, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't have sexual relations with several women on my roof, that means the terrorists have already won!
If guy can't get a taco at 4:30 on a Thursday morning, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people are still paying cash for a gmail invite, that means the terrorists have already won!
If underwear everywhere cease to have skid marks, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Henryk Gorecki can't use his 5-iron as a toothbrush, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Osama Bin Laden has been elected King, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Wilson is awake, that means the terrorists have already won!
If decide to enter the haunted mine by turning to page 37, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there are only 3 kinds of kiwi in the supermarket, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to keep working here one more day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If matt haughey refuses to suck my cock, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to slow down this car, that means the terrorists have already won!
If two is even, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you let the potatoes sprout in the pantry, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't sleep with you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to wear pants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mr. T never says "I pity the fool" again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Glenn Danzig stops being evil, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i'm reading this website, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Suzanne Somers can't mambo with the U.S. Supreme Court, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't allow homosexual marriage, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we continue to erode the 4th Amendment to the Constitution of the U.S., that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bobby doesn't ask me to the Spring Fling, that means the terrorists have already won!
If whitley comes to work on time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush is re-elected in November, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't pee in public, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people are allowed to share their tunes via peer to peer to networks , that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mary-Kate Olsen doesn't beat anorexia and a coke addiction, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm not going to meet that irish girl soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If "Yes, Dear" doesn't get back on the air, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't pronounce the name of your cab driver, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you masterbate more than once a week, that means the terrorists have already won!
If cats can't hack up fur balls in peace, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm not gonna marry the redhead of my life, that means the terrorists have already won!
If , that means the terrorists have already won!
If my website is still under major redesign after 6 months, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fox news is replaced by al-jazeera TV, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Farenheight 9/11 can't get a PG-13 rating, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you dig up someone's mother and you f the skeleton, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Nicole will never write me back, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Grainne still thinks I'm a mad stalker, that means the terrorists have already won!
If The Price is Right doesn't survive after Bob Barker's death, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can read this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If find yourself constantly fanaticizing about garden gnomes rubbing you down with oil, that means the terrorists have already won!
If even the Olsen twins have an eating disorder, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the neighbor kids don't get off my fucking lawn right now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the whistle can't go WHOO WHOO!, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to tell you to turn that fuckin stereo down again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists are up 42 to 17 and there's only a minute left in the 4th quarter, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't win the lottery, that means the terrorists have already won!
If pickles and peanut butter can't be consumed on one piece of bread, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't get a patent for the 'sandwich doodler', that means the terrorists have already won!
If Quonsar is not free, that means the terrorists have already won!
If those Frenchie cheese-eating surrender monkies start loving us again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If gas costs the same amount as milk, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Guns N Roses ever release another album, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they don't sell greyscale Necco Wafers before Moore's Law runs out, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Klaatu Barada Nikto, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they don't restock the drink machine soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kerry blinks twice and shakes his head once, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm not back in five minutes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't send me $1,000.00, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you read more than 4 blogs in a day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If France loses the Euro 2004, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have a jar of pickles in one hand, and a scoop of mayonnaise in the other, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Fahrenheit 9/11 wins an oscar, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to wipe my butt with a popsicle wrapper ONE MORE TIME, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have already two, that means the terrorists have already won!
If abstinence prevails, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your mother is an abusive alcoholic, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get to go down on Mary-Kate Olsen, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you publish a condition here, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a group of monkeys produces a Shakespeare text, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you went to Mars and the Martians came out and said, "Hushugambelnugget," you would have to laugh, because when translated into English, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man can't crap his pants without having to check to see if he has extra underwear, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a girl can't have sex with Woodrow Wilson in an igloo with a spider plant on his dick, that means the terrorists have already won!
If jason kottke "redesigns" his blog another time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If , while listening to a rock or dance tune, you clap on beats 1 and 3, you're a loser. That has nothing to do with terrorism. You're just simply a loser. But, I suppose if you're the loser, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we believe 'power' is something that can simply be handed over, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you fake the funk on a nasty dunk, that means the terrorists have already won!
If If a Bush becomes president, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm like, come on Fhqwhgads, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you submit another randow way for the terrorists to win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you bitch and moan on livejournal, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have lost, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're reading this and you're a terrorist and any of this motivates you to stop being a terrorist, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I couldve have gotten away with it too, if it wasnt for you nosey kids and that pesky dog, that means the terrorists have already won!
If furries find you attractive, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your medicine stops working, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it ain't broke, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a young man can't wander around without ID, that means the terrorists have already won!
If America continues being GAY, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I ever get the urge to buy a utilikilt--I won't even mention wearing one--oops, I just did. I guess, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I could fly, into the sky, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I get one more auto-responder telling me that an email I never sent contains a virus, that means the terrorists have already won!
If children are the same size, they can sit equidistant from the fulcrum, and well, that means the terrorists have already won!
If hot young sluts get their asses filled with warm jizz, that means the terrorists have already won!
If STOP! Hammer time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we think of J. Edgar Hoover, J. Edgar Hoover will return and destroy us, and, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Britney Spears gets breast implants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If he gets up, we'll all get up; it'll be anarchy! It's outta my hands, and, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have already lost, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're going to break up our marriage just because of that other woman, that means the terrorists have already won!
If reading the words "Sunday! Sunday!! Sunday!!!" doesn't make you think of monster trucks, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the band you're in starts playing a different tune, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to fire that guy for not repairing my book again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't masturbate vengefully at Denny's, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man can't eat a chicken sandwich in peace, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists haven't found a way to win already, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you could only see me for who I really am, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are a megadeth fan, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the dodger dogs don't make me scream with glee tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't tell a guy "go fuck yourself" on the floor of the United States Senate, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bill Gates turns into the evil Smurf arch-nemesis Gargamel , that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man can't eat an orange while yodelling, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't wear a sombrero while riding a neopolitan burro down Michigan Avenue, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this dog doesn't shut up by 2am this morning, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this dog doesn't stop chewing up my pens, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my dog doesn't stop shitting on the rug, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't place this "God Bless America" flag bumper sticker on the back of my SUV, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we beat the shit out of the terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't walk down the street in green panties without getting arrested, that means the terrorists have already won!
If dogs aren't free to pee on a bee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If goats bleat curiously at the night sky, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't buy low-carb ice cream at Safeway, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Range("A1") = Range("A2"), that means the terrorists have already won!
If the chicken crosses the road without a motive, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ronald Reagan is not really dead, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people actually enjoy wasting their time at fuzrocks.com, that means the terrorists have already won!
If THIS SHOWS UP IN ALL UPPERCASE, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the RIAA can sue their own customers, that means the terrorists have already won!
If make you fart, burp and sneeze at the same time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people think this joke is funny: "Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife? A: 45 lbs", that means the terrorists have already won!
If i can shit effortless, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a moron from Texas can become president, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the bible thumpers take over the government, that means the terrorists have already won!
If x=y, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my uncle is really my mother but he pretends to be my sister, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get a letter that states you may already be a winner, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people mock our glorious leadership, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can close your eyes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If everyone is working for the weekend, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you insist on wearing a towel on your head after showering, that means the terrorists have already won!
If michael moore makes over 20 million dollars in his movie's first weekend, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the hit-and-run play is on and it's only the 1st inning, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a picture paints a thousand words, that means the terrorists have already won!
If pantaloon prices exceed an average of $85, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm dead, that means the terrorists have already won!
If baby Jesus cries, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you reply to spammers, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like pina colodas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George W Bush has Michael Moore over for coffe and doughnuts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this is IT!, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't stop reloading this stupid page every 10 seconds, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you sleep in a twin size bed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your daughter is a straight-A student at Mayflower High, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're laughing all the way to the bank, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I were king of the forest, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you honk if you love Jesus, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have become bored with the internet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we lose to the terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you know how to read, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you pick your nose, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Dick Cheney has another heart attack, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like meatballs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you dress up as a clown, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the batter refuses to take his position in the batter's box during his time at bat and the umpire orders the pitcher to pitch, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you hate watching television, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you smell your socks after you take them off, that means the terrorists have already won!
If those damn telemarketers don't stop calling me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you lied to your mother within the last month, that means the terrorists have already won!
If nobody will pitch to Barry Bonds, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think Richard Simmons is GOD, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George W. can't smoke a doobie with Dick Cheney in the privacy of their own White House, that means the terrorists have already won!
If u cn rd ths, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have clothes in the closet with tags on them, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you check your email more than you check your blood pressure, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't carry a gun with me when I fly on a plane, that means the terrorists have already won!
If loving you is wrong, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you feel kinda yucky inside, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your wife has that "not so fresh" feeling, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think breaking up is hard to do, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Howard Stern is no longer on the air in San Diego, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we become any more divided, that means the terrorists have already won!
If 6 turns out to be 9, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you avoid stepping on cracks, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you brush your teeth, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Canada is looking like a good place to call home these days, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Microsoft doesn't improve Office soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we run out of amo, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you hate the taste of sand, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you insist on looking for a random way for the terrorists to win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If widgets are fidgets, and pidgets are widgets, that means the terrorists have already won!
If PI is exactly equal to 3.141592653589793238462643383279502884197169399375105820974944, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you missed your last period, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're missing your best friend in the US Army, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they ever cancel The Simpsons, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the US is in 2nd place, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to stop driving my gas-guzzling SUV, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you honk your horns while NOT in traffic, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't think of anything to type in this box, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you go to your upcoming 10 year high school reunion and half of the girls are war widows, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Beatles ever get back together, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you protest Bush, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like the smell of newborn babies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a plane crashes into the white house, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you start speaking in tongues, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you spontaniously combust, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the pain is hard to burden, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm sleeping in a warm, safe place tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we all do the funky chicken, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I die, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we think we are who we really think we are, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you'll be so kind to please rewind, that means the terrorists have already won!
If whitney houston and bobby brown decide to live a sober life, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I listened long enough to you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If You have to use a non conditioning shampoo, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's never a good reason to stop eating chocolate, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think this is funny, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your shoelace came undone by itself during the last seven days, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you see yourself in the mirror, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Catholic priests can molest children and get away with it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you snap out, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Osama bin Laden start a blog using Movable Type, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kirsty Alley doesn't lose some weight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Alton Brown doesn't make the best damn ribs this side of the Mississippi, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bill Gates isn't in jail by 2005, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your watch stops working because you dropped in the toilet while masturbating, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they keep making colored money in the U.S., that means the terrorists have already won!
If Tim doesn't empty the trash within the next five minutes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my ass spawns frogs and crowbars, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Rosanne Barr isn't allowed to sing the national anthem at a baseball game, that means the terrorists have already won!
If scumbags can install spyware on your system, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Windows crashes one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If sparty turns on the night lights, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they won't let Pee Wee Herman into a movie theater on Times Square, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't shake it like a Polaroid picture, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm not allowed to sing "I Like Big Butts" in church, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they can't make low-carb sushi, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they insist on putting commercials on DVDs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my car won't run on cooking oil, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ed McMahan knocks on Osama bin Laden's bunker door with a BIG check in his hand, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jesus stops loving us, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Tom Waits can no longer ask, "what's he building in there?", that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't get decent Miexican food in Tijuana, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't have a girlfriend, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Macarena becomes popular again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're surfing the web, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't get a white friggin' Christmas this year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people start typing things in Arabic on this site, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Pauly Shore never makes another movie, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I see one more episode of Dr. Quinn: Medicine Woman, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the scoreboard says, "Terrorists 9, Good Guys 3", that means the terrorists have already won!
If [this space for rent], that means the terrorists have already won!
If your shit doesn't stink, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this site gets more than a million hits today, that means the terrorists have already won!
If mexicans stop napping, that means the terrorists have already won!
If O.J. gets away with murder, that means the terrorists have already won!
If June Cleaver can't wear a pair of shorts on TV, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this site suddenly goes offline, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all restrooms are equipped with those stupid air blowers that don't work and make you have to wipe your hands on your shirt or on your pants , that means the terrorists have already won!
If laugh at dead babies jokes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Nicholson Baker's new book doesn't become a bestseller, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't buy a 6-pack of Pepsi every week, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like piña coladas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fuzrock doesn't publish a list of all of the entries in this database, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they don't stop showing commercials in movie theaters, that means the terrorists have already won!
If (random event happens) and you don't buy (insert product name here), that means the terrorists have already won!
If Busb makes it back in for another term, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are gay, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ronald Reagan rises from the dead, that means the terrorists have already won!
If American clocks aren't converted to the binary system within four years, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Suntendosoftixga comes to be, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to pay $1.99 for a freakin' avocado, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the beer cooler gets gunned down by the Navy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like to talk to tomatoes, if a squash can make you smile, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your left arm kind of hurts when you raise it in the air, and your doctors tells you not to raise it anymore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Limp Bizkit release another album, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you wake up in the morning, go to work, and do the same damn thing every day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have no intentions of vacationing in South Dakota this year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody is around to hear it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't lust after that hot chick with the short skirt and blue top on the K-Mart commercial without feeling just a little bit guilty because your wife isn't really all that good looking, but she's a good cook and takes good care of the kids, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you walk into the party like you are walking on to a yacht, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't show me--and this is gonna get weird--two dragons right now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If sdrawkcab epyt t'nac uoy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're soaking in it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to pay $7.00 for a lousy beer at the ballpark and $5.00 for a bag of stinking peanuts and pay $15 to park your car, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to say "butt" instead of "ass", that means the terrorists have already won!
If you bend over just a bit more so I can see your cleavage, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it's all the same to you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't sit around eating Oprah and watching bon-bons, that means the terrorists have already won!
If America goes on a short-sighted vengeance rampage and alienates the rest of the known world, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George makes bubble in his bath water, that means the terrorists have already won!
If John Stewart does not win the next election as a write-in candidate, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I only had a brain - a heart - the nerve, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's moonlight in your eyes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your friends don't dance and if they don't dance then, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George Bush is president, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a tree falls in the woods, and there is nobody there to hear it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I understand you correctly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're Canadian, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this means the terrorists have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have skid marks in your underpants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If these conditions suddenly become saturated with misspelled words and grammatically incorrect phrases, that means the terrorists have already won!
If that don't beat all, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I were a simple man, a poor common farmer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you walk out of a casino and don't have enough money for a cup of coffee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I think, therefore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you wish upon a star, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're a terrorist, and you've won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If dogs are forced to stop playing their weekly poker game, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you click on the 'Submit' button below, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't believe me, ask my dad. Still don't believe me? Well, screw it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Yankee Stadium stops selling Crackerjack, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they couldn't hit an elephant at this dist....., that means the terrorists have already won!
If Burnham Wood comes to Dunsinane, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't finish writing this before the .... arrrgggGGHHH!!!!, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Frodo doesn't drop the ring into Mt Doom, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your momma don't dance and your daddy don't rock 'n' roll, that means the terrorists have already won!
If that's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all you're wearing is a necktie and a pair of Chuck Taylors, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this link no longer takes you to microsoft.com, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't stop smoking, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George W. Bush forces Willie Nelson cuts his hair, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Andy ever gets laid, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I excrete a no-wipe poop, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're sliding into third and you lay a juicy turd, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get an erection, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't afford an awp on de_aztec, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this means that the terrorists have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If major league baseball teams aren't required to put player names on the back of jerseys, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your pants are too tight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you click that "Submit!" button, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't win an Extreme Makeover, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Arnold Schwarzenegger is ever elected governor of a large Western state, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you fire all of your guns at once and explode into space, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this site gets 1,000 entries by midnight tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If life is like a box of chocolates, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you build it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your mom, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your Windows Start bar is set to 'Auto-hide', that means the terrorists have already won!
If the American League does not drop the designated hitter by 2006, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this message doesn't self-destruct in 10 seconds, that means the terrorists have already won!
If blue jello goes on sale at McDonalds, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't find this site on Google, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to feed my kids every day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't exercise your God-given right to drive as fast as you want in your gas-guzzling road barge while eating a greasy cheeseburger and getting a blowjob from a busty blonde whore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get your mort gage loan by responding to a spam email, that means the terrorists have already won!
If at least half of the legislation introduced buy our current government isn't repealed by the next government, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't hammer a new trailer to my old trailer to make a double-wide, that means the terrorists have already won!
If PEOPLE CONTINUE TO TYPE IN UPPERCASE, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this site doesn't have banner ads within 14 days, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we aren't living in the Matrix, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fuck you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If x=2, and I mean if it *ever* equals 2, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the errorists-tay ave-hay lready-aay on-way, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Micheal Moore produces another fictional movie, that means the terrorists have already won!
If firq krumple reads this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If no one remembers the B-52s, that means the terrorists have already won!
If guns are outlawed and only outlaws have guns, that means the terrorists have already won!
If woodchucks would chuck wood, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Bon Macy's is selling a brand new "Already Won" velour jump suit, and that was a group of terrorists I just saw walking down the street, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Simon Powell has voted everyone else off, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we're not fools to make war on our brothers-in-arms, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ed McMahon appears at their door, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this banner is flashing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists are ahead by 15 with only 20 seconds left to play, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they're handing out AK-47 assault rifles for free, and you and your mates all ride around in the back of a Toyota Hilux, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you need somebody to love, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jessica Alba keep her clothing on, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it really doesn't matter whether I'm wrong or I'm right, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's going to be trouble when your father gets home, young man, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i get drafted, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the sun don't come and you get a tan from standing in the English rain, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I fell in love with you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Atom isn't better than RSS, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I needed someone, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you want some fun, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think beyond your realm of existence, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my hair is brown, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's a letter, a letter for me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you drive a car-car... if you try to sit-sit... if you get too cold-cold... if you take a walk-walk, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it rains again tomorrow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I ain't dead already, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't wanna get out and walk, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Clark Kent can't find a phone booth, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all you want for Christmas is your two front teeth, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I had my druthers, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all hail the dark lord Atheia, that means the terrorists have already won!
If music be the food of love, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're reading this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't light one single dwarf on fire without being scolded, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are not christian, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ken Jennings doesn't keep winning on Jeopardy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George W. Bush authorizes planes containing Osama Bin Laden's family members to take off after 9/11, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't use all the ketchup, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't live happily ever after, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all that I can see is just a yellow lemon tree, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush gets re-elected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my head a splode, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they take futurama off the air. . ., that means the terrorists have already won!
If people make random phrase generators about terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they leave the pickles on anyway, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this website becomes popular, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't know what Ceasar Chavez looks like, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I had a hammer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists can know they've won in 666 different ways, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the tech's have locked down your PC so that you can't clear your browser history, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't get a Gmail invite, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you leave me now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my husband trades me in for a goat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't all lick our combs to keep our hair straight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i can't scratch my balls in public, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Sally has eight apples and Joan has five, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to pay extra for auto insurance, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush wins this year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If someone doesn't do something about the snafu in Albany, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the war on terror produces more terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we are smart and they are dumb, that means the terrorists have already won!
If /. doesn't run an article on this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ursula goes back to Canada, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get around the copy protection on this new CD, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my name isn't [your name here], that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't come down here right this minute, young man, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you'd like to continue to try the number, that means the terrorists have already won!
If American Idol is all some people care about, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're on your bicycle and your pants are really full, that means the terrorists have already won!
If its the eye of the tiger, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't find Waldo, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the euro continues to beat the dollar, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I wanna rock right now - I'm Rob Base and I came to get down, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Scott Stapp releases anymore music, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm Rick James, Bitch, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all teh gays won't stop blowing me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If in Soviet Russia, terrorists lose to YOU, that means the terrorists have already won!
If life becomes a never ending struggle against monotony, that means the terrorists have already won!
If masturbation has lost its fun, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think NASCAR is a sport, that means the terrorists have already won!
If America wins the war on terrorism, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm not home by seven, that means the terrorists have already won!
If America doesn't win every event at the Olympic Games, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you thought Jesus was really the Christ, that means the terrorists have already won!
If You read this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If J-Walk doesn't realize that toads are amphibians and not reptiles, that means the terrorists have already won!
If www.randomforum.com, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you haven’t visited www.johnkerryisadouchebagbutimvotingforhimanyway.com yet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If every day is a gift, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you took two hours to come up with something witty for this randomizer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jeff Silva finally gets laid, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i shit on your face, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Britney Spears is pregnant, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think fishermen are athletes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Wizzy and Wally exist, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George W. Bush manages to get re-elected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Trix breakfast cereal isn't actually for kids, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you keep on reloading this page and saw all the 'winning conditions for the terrorists' entry, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I wrote the terrorists "hebben al gewonnen" in Dutch, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mary had a little lamb, that means the terrorists have already won!
If If Bush is reelected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I hit Reload one more goddamned time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If If Dick Chayne is a not a robot, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kerry doesn't win the election this fall, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you watch reality tv, that means the terrorists have already won!
If MMORPG's continue to promote the feeling of loneliness, that means the terrorists have already won!
If im fat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If joan rivers can get a date, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can not masturbate to internet porn late at night, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I get a job, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't play with my neighbor's zipper on the subway, that means the terrorists have already won!
If ah have to learn me one a them foreign languages, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there are more than 731 ways the terrorists can know they've won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a train leaves Chicago for New York going 60 miles an hour, that means the terrorists have already won!
If bananas die out, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my cock is small, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I get more than ten hits a day just by putting a link to my blog in the "random way for the terrorists to win" engine, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to make a random "If you _______ _______ ________ the terrorists have already won" generator, that means the terrorists have already won!
If R2-D2 beats C-3P0 in a robot fight to the death, that means the terrorists have already won!
If 20 more of my hairs turn gray before I'm 29, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get a tingly feeling in your left knee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your HTML doesn't validate, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my armpits smell like falafel, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are still designing web pages using tables then, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush starts letting homosexuals get married, that means the terrorists have already won!
If usability takes a back seat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jim has a second cup of coffee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i have to sit through another crappy flash intro that doesn't have a skip button, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you add one more friggin' animated GIF to your skank-ass web site, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists already win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Tailban can clone Adolf Hitler for soldiers, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't eat chocolate without worrying about calories, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you do not watch Fahrenheit 9/11, that means the terrorists have already won!
If (T less than 0) AND PEEK(5523) greater than 5 THEN PRINT ", that means the terrorists have already won!
If anybody votes for "Dubya", that means the terrorists have already won!
If France is forced to defend itself using military *force*, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't eat paste in grade school anymore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If hgfhgf, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we do not make our saving throws vs. death, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Tom jones uses red telephones, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you will do my bidding, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think FrontPage is one awesome mutha fukkin program, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you go to http://www.fuzrocks.com/terrorists/index.html, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Gary Coleman makes a triumphant return to Broadway as Jean Valjean, thrilling audiences with his catchphrase, "Whatchoo talkin' bout, Javere?", that means the terrorists have already won!
If we can only drink red wine from a box, that means the terrorists have already won!
If low-carb diets are *not* a total load of crap, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Clear Channel acquires one more stupid radio or TV station, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George Bush is re-elected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you just switched to Sanka, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you dont visit http://www.spinstartshere.com , that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't change your tampon every four hours, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the chicken crosses the road, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't drive 55, that means the terrorists have already won!
If britney spears turns into a lesbian, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Hello Kitty has no mouth, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I ...what? If I wanted ...what?! Stop it! If you keep interrupting me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your middle name is Bill, Steve, or Lyndon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you do not listen to KMFDM, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you pick up a white courtesy phone, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you love the Lord, stand up and let me hear somebody say, ", that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's a president, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you may ask yourself, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kerry wins, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Carol Burnett doesn't run for President in 2008, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you engage in pilates, tofu, or tiramisu, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't get married before I'm too old to go to your wedding, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't put the new cover sheet on your TPS report, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ray Charles dies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we have to pay more than 20% of what the rest of the world pays for gas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it took me seven years of high school spanish to get a D in Spanish 3, when you hear me say "los terroristas estaban conquistadors", that means the terrorists have already won!
If people don't stop linking to my blog from here, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I find your lack of faith disturbing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we have to forfeit for lack of oxygen in our blood, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like piña colonics, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it takes two to make a thing go right, that means the terrorists have already won!
If soup boils, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Matt Kennedy Gould finds out it's not real, that means the terrorists have already won!
If someone set up us the bomb, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't go to a Blatt is the New Black concert, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Hersheys stops making reeses white chocolate peanut butter cups, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't have oral sex while driving, that means the terrorists have already won!
If our life totals hit 0, that means the terrorists have already won!
If You don't know the lyrics to "The Number of The Beast", that means the terrorists have already won!
If this list keeps on growing without an index, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Dick Clark, Cher, and/or Alice Cooper age in any way, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I do not bathe tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't know the difference between Racism and Bigotry, that means the terrorists have already won!
If no one sings along with me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you play D&D , that means the terrorists have already won!
If you found a tank , hidden in downtown Tustin, C.A, that means the terrorists have already won!
If one more person submits a hypothetical situation to this form, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Del Taco is giving away french fries with their burritos, that means the terrorists have already won!
If 42, that means the terrorists have already won!
If he don't even have his license, Lisa, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get rich, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't have any pudding if you don't eat your meat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my cholesterol is down, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can hear me now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If these go to eleven, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we've got a bigger dressing room than the puppets, that means the terrorists have already won!
If PC Gaming is dead, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't wear a belt and shoes into an airport terminal, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Kama Sutra is no longer available in the corner bookstore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't drive my SUV on 20 bucks a day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my bathroom smells worse than Abdullah, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Lindsay Lohan won't be my girlfriend, that means the terrorists have already won!
If bush is reelected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can no longer send your leftovers to starving children in China, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my wife finds out I look at internet porn, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all homosexuals are made to suffer horrible anal-penetrating deaths, that means the terrorists have already won!
If someone can convince me that WindowsME is the best OS ever, that means the terrorists have already won!
If J.O.N. runs out of clean underwear, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to listen to "No Sleep Til Brooklyn" one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they do not discover that the guy from Dashboard Confessional is really Osama bin Laden, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we can't all get along, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my Confederate flag is a sign of hatred, that means the terrorists have already won!
If
THIS TEXT
is black with a light blue background, then oh, man, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the ice cream does't come with chocolate sprinkles, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't know me by now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think I am a loser, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you try to shave yourself and realize you just had a brazilian wax done two days ago, that means the terrorists have already won!
If x=3, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I do not report that suspicious baggage in the waiting area, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have finshed bathing recently, that means the terrorists have already won!
If ma daddy gives me another whuppin, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Office Space is the best movie ever made, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Chinese Democracy ever comes to fruition, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you got a lobster, you've got a magnet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't enter all your money a www.wheresgeorge.com, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Al Gore loses the 2000 presidential election, that means the terrorists have already won!
If time keeps on a-slippin', that means the terrorists have already won!
If fuzrock creates a random "the terrorists have already won" generator, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Your condition has been added, that means the terrorists have already won!
If time stops, that means the terrorists have already won!
If John Kerry gets elected president, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I walked somewhere instead of taking my SUV and getting even FATTER on 88 oz. fountain drinks, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the government can force me to pay child support, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I eat carbs today, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't make sweet love to your mother and tell you about it the next day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I left my wallet in El Segundo, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Afghanistan national team gets the most medals at this summer's olympics, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all your base are belong to the terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the CTF team loses in a CounterStrike game, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're the hot girl next door to me and you don't leave your blinds open anymore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I believe what I believe because I believe what I believe is right, that means the terrorists have already won!
If , no, it's the *red* courtesy phone, that means the terrorists have already won!
If , no, you're mistaken, Jill. It's always been the white courtesy phone, that means the terrorists have already won!
If , nope. Red., that means the terrorists have already won!
If George W. Bush is re-elected, it won’t matter, we’ll already have lost, and, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it's the red courtesy phone, I'll get jiggy with your sister., that means the terrorists have already won!
If . Stop talking about Susan, Bob. You know she's always had an affinity for Will Smith. And it *is* the red courtesy phone, that means the terrorists have already won!
If artificial vaginas become real, that means the terrorists have already won!
If at first you're afraid and you're petrified, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my viagra doesn't work today, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I smoke crack today, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I get laid, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we sell crack to kids, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Family Guy remains cancelled, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't give me a beat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you dont visit FatElvis.org, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't find a cigarette, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Janet Jackson can't bare her breast, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I graduate from law school, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to pick my nose one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the father of god is dead, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you look under your seat and find a small token with the words, "We Won!" on it, congratulations, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I am butt buddies with some random guy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If petrol isn't cheaper, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Rancho Mo becomes 2 salad forks with a tiny tinted truck window, that means the terrorists have already won!
If one more stupid bastard repeats something they heard on Chappelle's show, that means the terrorists have already won!
If England are out of the European Championships, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the president sees another pretzel, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you cant take a crap in your own house, that means the terrorists have already won!
If dubya is reelected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't go down on me three times a day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't die in a random bomb blast, that means the terrorists have already won!
If wrtgbdsgfb d, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I shit into my own pants instead of yours the next time I hear a car backfire, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Osama bin Laden adds one of these cutesy lines, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists haven't already lost, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't reverse the polarity on the secondary impulse manifold, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush is President, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are an American then you will have no idea whether there is anything, that means the terrorists have already won!
If true, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there ever were any terrorists, which I doubt, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get GMAIL invitation, that means the terrorists have already won!
If VW's are stopped in production, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have already won, by definition, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can read these words, that means the terrorists have already won!
If man has to shower alone, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they're still serving Moons over My Hammy at Denny's, that means the terrorists have already won!
If (true), that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't sit up straight, young man, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can keep a secret, I'll tell you. If you don't know what "planes flying into the trade center" means, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to wash the damn car again cos of those kids on the next street throwin' darned mud balls at it in the dead of night, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're going to San Fransisco, be sure to wear flowers in your hair. In other news: if the price of ham increases, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you want fries with that, that means the terrorists have already won!
If pimping is easy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you wave your hand in the air, like you just dont care, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists haven't already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Nicole and the kids can ever forgive me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Alice sends a message to Bob, but doesn't want Eve to hear, that means the terrorists have already won!
If john kerry wins in 04, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't visit www.shesaiddestroy.org, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jesus walks the earth again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mario Dinis has sex with his sister Lucy, and they fuck, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you want to see "Fahrenheit 9/11", that means the terrorists have already won!
If the lone ranger turns gay, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the reload on this thang actually worked, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Britney married again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get my beauty sleep, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't pee in the pool, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't take the last slice of pizza, that means the terrorists have already won!
If AOL doesn't stop sending me those CDs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't forward this message to 20 people by midnight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the sum of Line D and Line L is less than $600, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you've been injured in any kind of accident, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists think this website is funny, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they try to remove my hand from my cold dead member, that means the terrorists have already won!
If disco comes back, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't have anything nice to say, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they've built red hotels and you've only got three green houses, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're not with us or you're against us or not against us or with us, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mr T is the New God, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Whose Line is ever taken off the air, even the reruns, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Americans stop getting fatter, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I had a dollar for every time the terrorists won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Urs Meier is refereeing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If The Pope reallly does sh*t in the woods, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bloomberg kisses Arafat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ken Jennings is laundering his Jeopardy winnings, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you own too many cans cans of baked beans, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your brain turns to liquid when you think too hard with a hangover, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we reduce our unquenchable lust for oil, that means the terrorists have already won!
If theantix likes cheese, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Your Reading this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I had a million dollars... If I had a million dollars, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't wear a melon as an armband, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I like cheese, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George Bush gets re-elected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If NOT x THEN:, that means the terrorists have already won!
If heterosexuals are made to marry all the non-married homosexuals, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people against abortion are foced to adopt unwanted babies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Tupac and Biggie were both killed by terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a homosexual couple gets divorced, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this website doesn't die soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we play that funky music, white boy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all llamas cannot wear purple velvet pants together, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we all drank alcohol and got pissed at the same time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If shit yourself laughing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists don't lose, that means the terrorists have already won!
If jesus kills your dad, that means the terrorists have already won!
If gay marriage is equated with terrorism, that means the terrorists have already won!
If women's rights groups are equated with terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you visit this site and skip the haiku, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my cat is not named Jesus or W, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my anus in on fire because I ate too much Szechuan Chinese last night, that means the terrorists have already won!
If porn-stars have to wear burkas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a democrat gets into the Whitehouse, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we have to restart IIS ever other day to keep our web store from crashing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Shania won't let Valent whuffle her, that means the terrorists have already won!
If if my toilet paper is to damn soft, so it doesn`t really cleans up my ass, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush gets elected again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If everyone is a terrorist, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Homer Simpson can boycott pants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush is elected president again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can get imprisoned indefinately without charges on the whim of the president, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George W. Bush gets re-elected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think running is the answer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your band can't play a good rock song, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George Bush keeps being a moron, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get your money for nothing and your chicks for free, that means the terrorists have already won!
If winning isn't everything, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't fart out loud in public, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get a date, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are a terrorist, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a train leaves Chicago traveling at 90 MPH while another train leaves Pittsburgh traveling at 75 MPH, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't watch porn in my Mercedes Benz while driving around school zones, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't wear shoes through security at the airport, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my shirt doesn't go down to my knees, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I leave this space blank, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terorosts have already lost, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Britany Spears lives another year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If X=7, that means the terrorists have already won!
If The democrats raise taxes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Al Sharpton eats another bite, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't wear a rubber chicken suit to a black tie dinner, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jessie Jackson pimps another "race" issue, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they start digging for oil in the SF bay, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you eat another french fry, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't bury the terrorists in pig fat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your choco bars melt, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your butt always hurts and you keep hearing a middle eastern man laughing at you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kerry wins the election, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I had a pocket lawn chair, that means the terrorists have already won!
If and or when, that means the terrorists have already won!
If monkeys is no longer funny, that means the terrorists have already won!
If birds suddenly appear, when you are near, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this, then, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ruti doesn't love me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you use arklinux, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your boss actually gives you credit for work you did, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it's tourist season, but you can't shoot them, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm reduced to entering win conditions into a web site for its entertainment value, that means the terrorists have already won!
If not, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get head right now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If global warming is really a problem, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't like the new Coke C2, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't like Strip Clubs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you use open source software, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can chew gum and walk at the same time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bill Gates makes the switch to Mac, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it burns when you urinate, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the shoe fits, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I Allow myself to introduce... myself, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have that attitude, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this site is best viewed using Internet Explorer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush's IQ were to defy science and continue on its merry way downwards, to the point where he was incapable of respiration, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my hot water service is still fucked when I wake up tomorrow morning, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mel Gibson is allowed to make another film, ever,, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man can't take a trip to Walmart without seeing 47 different Shrek 2 advertisements, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mick Moore and Condy Rice get it on at half time at the Superbowl, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I was never artificially created in a lab, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fuzrocks.com makes a terrorist "already winning" parody page, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can do it eBay, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you unconsciously look around for "snipers" every time you walk out to your car, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are reading this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you crap, that means the terrorists have already won!
If John Wayne is re-constituted and allowed to become a Californian senator, that means the terrorists have already won!
If America were to wake up and smell the coffee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If kottke's color theme hurts your eye, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you were born left handed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jenna Bush makes it to Congress, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have (or wish you had) cankles, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people are still having promiscuous sex with many anonymous partners without protection while at the same time experimenting with mind-expanding drugs in a consequence-free environment, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Al Gore stops making me laugh, , that means the terrorists have already won!
If your waitress is surly when you order your next BLT, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't make par on that crooked-ass 17th, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you watch your television, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the insurgents have emerged victorious, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George W. Bush can't have gay sex, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush is in the White House, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George Bush does not win re-election, that means the terrorists have already won!
If someone uses this site to link to their lame blog, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Oprah runs for president, that means the terrorists have already won!
If America doesn't follow the Geneva Conventions conditions for treating a prisoner of war, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Barbara Walters is still on television this time next year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Americans start losing their liberties, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Robert Jordan is allowed to continue writing books, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it's suddenly cheap to buy an entire 'hood in Manhattan, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush isn't the worst American president EVAH, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Dick Cheney isn't the most vile, evil man, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Immigration at LAX become bigger pricks than they already are, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to get up early on my summer break, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your kid refuses to eat his broccolini, that means the terrorists have already won!
If at the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved your testicles, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jesus builds my hotrod, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we really have to brush our teeth after EVERY meal, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the people at Hardees can put mayonnaise on my cheeseburger without me explicitly asking for it (YOU FREAKING SICKOS), that means the terrorists have already won!
If you open the trunk to find a "we owe you 1 spare tire" note from Ford, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my Forrest Gump collectors edition DVD suddenly disappears, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Gary Coleman replaces John Ashcroft, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you make it 10 feet into a Best Buy without being greeted by a half dozen staff members, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are still reading this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush is still our president, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Americans ever get so fat that they resort to eating sandwiches without any bread, that means the terrorists have already won!
If trucks get any bigger, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can touch your nose with your tongue, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't have big hair, that means the terrorists have already won!
If McDonald's doesn't return to it's original extra fattening fry formula, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't shout "Sweet Zombie Jesus" and bend things with my robot, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Pentagon hawks decide to invade Iraq regardless of the consequences, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get me one of those vanilla bullshit drinks, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Heiko Henßler resigns after 8 beer , that means the terrorists have already won!
If i have to pee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kerry wins the 2004 election, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your dog starts speaking in Arabic tongues, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my cat is watching Fox News, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your kids are stitching together Gucci wallets instead of doing math, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the price is right, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists play Portugal in the Euro 2004 final, and drive a stolen car packed with explosives in the opponent's half after they beheaded Ricardo, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't floss regularly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a terrorist opens their mail and it reads, "Hey Terrorist, You May Already Be A Winner", that means the terrorists have already won!
If I reload this page any more times, that means the terrorists have already won!
If black people start wearing HUGE white t-shirts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jamaicans eat toast, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you miss your chance to blow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man cain't scratch hisself when and where he itches, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're feverishly clicking your heels together, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Derek Lowe doesn't get his act together, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have a Welsh Corgi named Ein and live on a spaceship, you might just be in an episode of "Cowboy Bebop" and, sorry to say, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you see your dead grand-father floating out of an extremely bright sphere and you feel serene and joyful, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the emperor has no clothes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Roast Beef is no longer for sale, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this is the winter of our discontent, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you watch me hit this drive, that means the terrorists have already won!
If that Mini Cooper robot is real and shows up to my house and says "hey, let's motor" and we have weeks of adventure, mini-driving and mad-robot fighting but I forget to take pictures, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fat bottom girls ever make the rocking world go round, that means the terrorists have already won!
If at first you don't succeed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Rumsfeld is still smiling like a demented motherfucker in a couple months time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Allah akbar, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your friends don't dance then they're no friends of mine. Really, that means the terrorists have already won!
If that spider gets any closer to my desk, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a kitten dies every time you masturbate, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can eat 15 hotdogs in 3.2 seconds, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Charlize Theron would just stop stealing "all the covers,' and c'mon, I'm only human, I know she'd like to go at it for a tenth time tonight, but I have that swimsuit shot in the morning and if this is all just a dream, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't make the loop with your upper flipper, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get a gmail account, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the goggles do nothing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't have your doctor look at that mole on your back, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't make the upper loop on the Ripley's pinball machine, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't start rinsing your spoon with peanut butter on it before putting it in the dishwasher, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the label of your coke ever reads "now with added crab juice", that means the terrorists have already won!
If Osama wins a Tony, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't eat that red, white and blue cupcake, that means the terrorists have already won!
If someone is going to sing a song that you absolutely do not want to hear, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the surprise toy in your cereal is an Armalite and a one way plane ticket to Baghdad, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you feel that you are the angel of mercy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you'll have what she's having, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are hung over after a three day bender, that means the terrorists have already won!
If somebody makes a random "if you ________ _______ ______ the terrorists have already won" generator, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you should be working but instead you'd rather spend your time on liberal web sites, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush wins re-election, that means the terrorists have already won!
If origami pigs fly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't find someone to lance your boil, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush takes any more of our rights, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't completely debase prisoners of war with absolute impunity, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my next bottle of wine is corked, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ed McMahon comes to their door, that means the terrorists have already won!
If MST3K goes off the air, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't read the jwalk blag, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to flush twice to get the WHOLE turd down, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Star Wars Episode III is as bad as E1 & E 2, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there is no July, but an eternity of June 30th, repating itself until we Celebrate the 4th June 30th of every year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Microsoft Linux...errr..."Windows Longhorg" doesn't get released, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my adorable boyfriend beats me at Super Monkey Ball, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I am involved in the creation of a "meme", that means the terrorists have already won!
If Pootie Tang mails you a picture of how he's gonna kick your ass, then mails it to you ten days in advance; then, upon its arrival, promptly kicks your ass and you still don't know what happened to you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're not reading quibbling.net, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you burst into flames, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there is potato in the borscht, that means the terrorists have already won!
If "Fahrenheit 9/11" beats "Dodgeball" at the box-office, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your cheese tastes like chalk, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Tim Henman loses in the quarter-final, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this were to get linked on Atrios and our server explodes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my girlfriend doesn't suck my cock tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you tell me what you want, what you really really want, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Saddam Hussein doesn't go to trial, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your front porch collapses and four dogs git killed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you use a weedeater in your living room, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you've ever climbed a water tower with a bucket of paint to defend your sister's honor, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a tree falls in the forest and nobody's around to hear it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your idea of high quality entertainment is a six pack and a bug zapper, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George Bush is PMSing the rest of his life, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have more belt buckles than pants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you will not help me to transfer 12 million US dollars from my war-torn African country, that means the terrorists have already won!
If golf is a sport, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I see another "the terrorists have already won" scenario, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a terrorist calls you on the phone and says, "Hey man, we won.", that means the terrorists have already won!
If Rush Limbaugh doesn't go to jail, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Diamondbacks don't end their losing streak, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Avril Lavigne runs out of angst, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you cannot survive make your time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If "Soylent Green is pee-pull!! It's peeeee-puuull!", that means the terrorists have already won!
If JarJar Binks is in Episode III, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't pick my nose with your finger, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you come home tonight and a terrorist is sitting in your favorite chair eating your Cherry Garcia and watching Nightline, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have nothing to write about in my weblog, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it doesn't add three full inches, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kerry is elected president, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i can't get laid, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Halliburton can't bill the government $10,000 for a toaster, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you mentally draw a line from the outer bottom star to the outer top star of the Big Dipper's bucket and extend that line about five times, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't buy another expensive bass guitar, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get mushrooms on your steak and cheese, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Margaret Thatcher is the most compassionate person they could get to talk about Ronald Reagen, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I keep refreshing this damn thing but never see the four entries I submitted, that means the terrorists have already won!
If that is not dead which can eternal lie, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get lost between the Moon and New York City, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this dance ain't for everybody, only the sexy people, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get caught between the Moon and New York City, that means the terrorists have already won!
If those bastards can do 90, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you cant take photo's of GWB looking out the window in his underwear, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to ask, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to clean up one more of my dog's poops, that means the terrorists have already won!
If downloading MP3s is STILL considered a crime, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the energizer bunny ever stops going, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man can't fart in his own cube, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we never find out who let the dogs out, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we have to pay for mp3's, that means the terrorists have already won!
If contestants on Last Comic Standing are chosen by NBC Executives rather than Celebrity Judges (based on how funny they are), that means the terrorists have already won!
If I make this next basket, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you cant butter your toast on both sides, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man can sail a thousand ships, that means the terrorists have already won!
If everyone started jumping off bridges, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the price of poop is on the rise, that means the terrorists have already won!
If oil prices dont come down, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't come with me to Alderaan and learn the ways of the force, like your father, that means the terrorists have already won!
If girls can pee standing up, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you really really Love Lucy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to take my underwear off at the airport, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't use mozilla products, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to watch another commercial about femenine dryness, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I ever live in an america where I can't see naked breasts on television, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we ever go back to the days of boy bands, that means the terrorists have already won!
If kottke redesigns his blog, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it's: Terrorists 1- 0 Good Guys, that means the terrorists have already won!
If cute little puppies are prevented from licking their balls, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't ironically like britney spears, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all else fails, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't have a bukkake session with the Olsen twins, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bert meets with Osama again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If she was all, and they were like, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you read the words "the terrorists have already won", that means the terrorists have already won!
If , while hiring a new employee, you ask if he's ever been a terrorist, and he winks and says, "No," and you hire him anyway, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're at the VFW playing bingo and that same group of jerko terrorists (and who let them in here anyway) suddenly calls out, "BINGO!", that means the terrorists have already won!
If the sky is blue, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'll be a monkey's uncle, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're the fifth caller, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you mistakenly click on the Submit button instead of the Reload link, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my ass is on fire and I can't find water, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your mom can't watch ABC soaps without PSA interuptions, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this backpack wasn't made in the United States, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my ham isn't fresh cut at a butcher, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my toast is brought without any jelly one more time then, that means the terrorists have already won!
If other people's submissions show more often than mine, that means the terrorists have already won!
If gasoline is a better investment than the oil companies that make it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't allow the terrorists to lose, that means the terrorists have already won!
If beck sells another record, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all your friends and family have AIDS, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they wear suits and drive around in limos, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't release my probe on your giant moon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If pink becomes the new black,, that means the terrorists have already won!
If somebody says "Ho" and you say "Ho" and somebody says "Ho Ho" and you say "Ho Ho" and then somebody says "Now scream!" and you do it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all the nice people are dead, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George W. Bush reads "My pet goat", that means the terrorists have already won!
If you cut the blue wire instead of the yellow one, BANG!,, that means the terrorists have already won!
If A$+"terrorists" and B$ = "win", that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't whistle while you work, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can hear me, Lord, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fear is the key, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you just got a virus detected message, that means the terrorists have already won!
If bush is not re-elected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a picture can paint a thousand words and I can't paint you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If liberals don't pull their heads out of their asses, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we allow elections to be swayed to violence, that means the terrorists have already won!
If t means "the terrorists", h means "have", a means "already" and ending t means "won", that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists are ten holes up with eight to play, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't beat 'em, that means the terrorists have already won!
If hilary clinton is really a lesbian, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't ban smoking in public places, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you'll hear me out on this one, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bill Clinton stains some more dresses, that means the terrorists have already won!
If liberals keep killing babies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you take the blue pill, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are not at least this tall, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't be bothered, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't download music free, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like sushi, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the number you have reached has been disconnected or is no longer in service, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my cat dies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Roxanne puts on the red light, that means the terrorists have already won!
If A thousand rabid monkeys crash the Academy Awards, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists won yesterday, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the big hand is on the three, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't all just get along, that means the terrorists have already won!
If dan is startin to workout, that means the terrorists have already won!
If have to work on the Monday after Independence Day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't know the difference between your and you're, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Washington DC gets a baseball team, that means the terrorists have already won!
If bush is serves another tearm, that means the terrorists have already won!
If conditional statements regarding terrorist victory are randomly presented, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i can't eat steak, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the price of a lapdance ever goes up, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your dead ass does not continue to get fatter and wider, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the square of the hypotenuse is not equal to the sum of the square of the legs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this is who I think it is, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Nabisco refuses to sell Mallomars during warm weather months, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get my diet coke, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the damn network is down again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the f'ing proxy server is slow as balls, that means the terrorists have already won!
If OJ Simpson is profiting from the killing of his ex-wife Nicole Brown Simpson, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the sky is green, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Cthulu is the least evil candidate this year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you Catholic girls start much too late, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists peel a winning game piece off of a Slurpee cup, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you yearn for the good ol' days of the Cold War, that means the terrorists have already won!
If "the System is down", that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't go outside because it's raining, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a monkey in a fez can be declared victorious over all challengers, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get laid tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If God blesses America, and no place else, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush can't decide NOT to go to any of the funerals of the fallen soldiers of the Iraq War, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I need to pee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the sun is shining, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush could win the next election, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you double-click links on the internet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're mom's a hoochmeister, that means the terrorists have already won!
If ChevronTexaco and ExxonMobil merge, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're still reloading to see one of your submissions, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can read this, thank a teacher, but also remember, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Britney marries this creepy white trash dude , that means the terrorists have already won!
If Saddam Hussein proclaims he is president of the Republic of Iraq in June 2004, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kirsten Dunst got any hotter, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to pay for each e-mail that you send, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the sun will come up tomorrow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I get "wanded" one more time at the airport, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your mama don't dance and your daddy don't rock-n-roll, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they outlaw glory holes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Bank of The Northern Hemisphere buys another bank in my town, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it hurts when I pee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get a super buy on any pre-certified pre-owned Hondas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this serves no purpose, that means the terrorists have already won!
If terrorists take over Newfoundland, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Dick Cheney is not re-elected Vice President, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Catholic priests are allowed to run Washington, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people buy more chocolate ice cream than vanilla this summer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Fat Albert comes alive and eats an elephant, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Tiffany ever has another hit, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a president can be impeached but not lose his retirement benefits, that means the terrorists have already won!
If canned yams become a staple of July 4th celebrations, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we kill this website by adding entries, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Will Farrell makes another dumbass movie, that means the terrorists have already won!
If lightning bugs are toxic, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the smell is stronger than my love for you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you see one, the attack is by land, two if by sea, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I like big butts and I cannot lie, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your mom's a MILF and hits on your friends, that means the terrorists have already won!
If sweet Jebus can't save us, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my daddy is also my brother, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush is more about beans than elections, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't eat my pommes-de-frittes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my co-worker does not stop banging and shaking my cubicle, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the weather does not hold out so I can get in 18 holes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If sheer luck was involved in the 9-11 attacks, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mr. Lumbergh does not return my red Slimline stapler, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mandy Moore becomes a Playboy model, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I hold my mouse down too hard, that means the terrorists have already won!
If three rights don't make a left, that means the terrorists have already won!
If gingersnaps are your favorite food, that means the terrorists have already won!
If frere Jaques dorme vouz, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the hairs on my back are thicker than the hairs on my head, that means the terrorists have already won!
If suicide is the only solution, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the stupid Reload button stops working, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to type another stupid thing into this space, that means the terrorists have already won!
If talents were swords, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I had a million dollars, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I told you that you had a beautiful body, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my Zoloft doesn't kick in soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Red Bull is the anti-Christ, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Federal Government stops using Microsoft Internet Explorer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Spiderman 2 is better that The Godfather 2, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my gotdam shoe won't stay tied, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you bend over and spell run, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my mama told me to pick the best one, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't shut up and sit down, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're happy and the whole world knows it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If PETA and ELF get together and blow up another SUV, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I use this site for my own personal agenda, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Homer Simpson ever gets his act together, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Uncle Jesse and Daisy win the Nobel Peace Prize, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mozilla Firefox 1.0 comes out any later than September, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I force myself to dwell in a cocoon of dental floss, that means the terrorists have already won!
If purple horseshoes, green clovers, red hearts, and green clovers are in my morning diet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my stank don't make you wanna shank, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't moon police cars, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I ride the white camel, that means the terrorists have already won!
If , after a long strange night, one involving both a tasty yellow curry and a tequila of dubious origin, my sphincter collapses into itself under its own mighty weight, slowly forming a singularity which inevitably crushes this pitiful planet in overwhelming gravitational fields and leaves me to deal with painful, itchy hemorrhoids on my blue event horizon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my boxer shorts no longer show when I walk, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Abu Ghabrib is just the tip of the iceberg, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your browser doesn't support CSS, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a tree falling in the forest makes a sound and no one is there to hear it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bubba burgers are the accepted norm at July 4th cookouts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't think of 1400 ways terrorists have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bill Gates turns out to be Osama bin Laden, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you read all of the submissions of the ways that the terrorists have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't shut the f* up and sit the h3ll down, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I need TP for my bighole, and my name is Cornholio, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you make the baby jesus cry, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my bedspread becomes loose and lumpy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If "animal rights" groups like PETA have already won, you could also say, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're double-jointed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If take a shit, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't masterbate daily, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you won't have sex with me right now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to pay a lot for this muffler, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're a Mac user, that means the terrorists have already won!
If no one wants "turtles" shwag ( http://cafeshops.com/turtleswaydown ), that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's no balogna when I get after I told my wife to get some from the store, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't find a way to overload the textbox on this page, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Donald Rumsfeld isn't already gone, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't spend less on a gallon of gas from Saudi Arabia than on a sixteen-ounce bottle of filtered tap water from Coca-Cola, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are eating "dictator-tots" instead of french fries, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like sex, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to wash your hands, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to add more salt, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't have cheat codes in real life, that means the terrorists have already won!
If god is my copilot, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you miss another grunion run, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you were stranded on a deserted island, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't watch Paris Hilton on Reality TV, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I live in a van down by the river, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Peter Francis Geraci passes the bar exam, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a train leaves Denver at 6:39 AM traveling east at 56 miles per hour, and another train leaves Philadelphia at 7:52 AM heading west at 72 miles per hour, that means the terrorists have already won!
If everyone sits at home and picks their toe jam, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Patton Oswalt's new comedy album doesn't sell a million copies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a thousand people don't visit Prometheus Unleashed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If , when you ring her, she sorta sighs, and you hear water running down the stairs, but your sister wants to use the phone so you have to hurry it up, and she says well you know how it is, and cries, well, I guess, and it pains me to say it, but, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Americans continue to think that Budweiser is a beer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If only I could turn back time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Bush Approval rating drops below 60% , Oops, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all your base are blong to us, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're not completely satisfied for any reason, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you act now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you call within the next 5 minutes and our operators are not standing by, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you use anything less than SPF 30, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you remove the tags on this mattress, that means the terrorists have already won!
If irritation persists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If only you can stop forest fires, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this product is accidentally ingested, do not induce vomiting. Vomiting is a sign of weakness and, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you stare at it long enough, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you keep picking at it like that, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you waited to lock in a low interest rate, that means the terrorists have already won!
If baby fish mouth is sweeping the nation, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Internet Explorer renders your standards based page correctly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you keep playing with your navel, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you walk underneath a ladder or open an umbrella indoors, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you make a face and someone slaps you on the back, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're still with Franco, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Star Wars episode 3 is good , that means the terrorists have already won!
If fish, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you ever see me on TV in a rock band, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't vote in the general election on Nov. 2, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Rev. Moon is crowned King by our representitives, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you smell your own farts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Elvis has already left the building, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you play computer poker until your eye twitches, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ricky Santorum loves his dog too much, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you would like to continue the setup of RealPlayer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If an Arts Degree gets you a job, that means the terrorists have already won!
If an engineer can solve your problem, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Helen Clark remains Prime Minister of New Zealand, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you ain't leading but two things right now - Jack and shit, and Jack left town, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't keep my pimpin' hand strong, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you begin to develop a rash on your upper thighs and/or buttocks, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are using any other brower than Mozilla Firefox, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists eat jelly doughnuts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get fucked somewhere extremely uncomfortable, like the back of a Volkswagon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If those bastards don't kill Kenny, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Trogdor doesn't burninate, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think thats air your breathing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Hoobastank stays at number one for one more day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this is correct, press one, otherwise, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't shave the chickens and paint the hedges, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush gets chosen by the Supreme Court to be our next president, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't update www.somesuch.com soon, dammit, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you forget the first two rules of Fight club, that means the terrorists have already won!
If (pi*3%7=x), that means the terrorists have already won!
If symptoms persist for more than 7 days, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush steals another election in 2004, that means the terrorists have already won!
If leeches are approved by the F.D.A., that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush is on vacation at his dude ranch, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I take a dump after eating chili, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the bald, mustachioed Dean Koontz and the bewigged, clean-shaven Dean Koontz are replaced by a third, more sinister, "clown prince" Dean Koontz, that means the terrorists have already won!
If those fascists cancel the general election, that means the terrorists have already won!
If babies fly out of windows and parrots eat the eyes new borns, that means the terrorists have already won!
If some cranky guy draws pictures of nekkid furry cartoons doing it bunny style, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't masturbate while while serving on a jury, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't spank the fuzzy wuzzy bunny, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush bin Laden gets elected for the first time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush licks Condi's pert, hard nipples, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jenna and Barb get a good, hard spanking, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Velma Dinkley says "Jinkies", that means the terrorists have already won!
If those meddling kids and their dog find Bush's driving records, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm lampin', I'm lampin', I'm cold stone lampin', that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's seven minutes of silence at the end of every broadcast of News Hour with Jim Lehrer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the counter terrorists lose the round, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have not already lost, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't start making out with me right now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If John Kerry moves into the White House in January, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Houston Astros don't win their division and go on to the World Series, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you ask me if those pants make your ass look fat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If terrorism becomes the only form of communication any more, that means the terrorists have already won!
If being taken seriously in this country is an anomaly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If world peace cannot exist if everyone is a terrorist, that means the terrorists have already won!
If A + B = C, that means the terrorists have already won!
If apples grew in place of pears and you couldn't put 2 + 2 together ever again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If some days you bite the bear and other days the bear bites you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If The Collected Poems of Swineberg becomes a New York Times bestseller, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Boston Red Sox win the World Series, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bangkok brothels are closed for good, that means the terrorists have already won!
If every other condition is "If Bush gets re-elected", that means the terrorists have already won!
If a train heads north at thirty miles per hour while another heads south on the same tracks at fifty miles per hour, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your parents call YOU a failure, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a 3 year old cant hack windows, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't fill my pickup with cheap gas, and drive all over the countryside drinkin' and huntin' frawgs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bishop Spong preaches a message that is actually biblicly based, and not just a steaming pile of nice ideas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get laid in 6 months, that means the terrorists have already won!
If her bra isn't a B-cup, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't piss you off by entering a text string into your little field that's so very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very very long that it maybe crashes your server and messes up your hard drive and causes John Ashcroft to worry about the "main Internet server" as it relates to exposed breasts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Zoot Suits fail to come back in style, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you say so, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a fool and his money are easily parted, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get that damn job in Dallas that pays a ton, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have clicked the reload for this page more the 38 times, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you wish Modest Mouse was still cool like they used to be, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the FCC wont let me be, or let me be me, so let me see - they tried to shut me down on MTV but it feels so empty without me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you care more about TV's fall line up then your retirement, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there is no Dana, only XUL, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we have farted, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you find yourself in the "old timey" American West and you are the not sheriff with the wicked bad silver star badge then, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you wire those speakers in paralell when they should have been wired in series, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you late apex that cone and get a bad autocross time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you still have not had time to learn how to make your own DVD's, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you notice that your refresh button works better than clicking the reload link, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm a lumberjack and I'm okay, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you wake up in the morning and you raise your weary head. If you've got an old coat for a pillow, and the earth was last night's bed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If TMTTHAW! is an abbreviation for "that means the terrorists have already won!", that means the terrorists have already won!
If what goes around, comes around, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Avon is calling, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to watch Dragonball Z, that means the terrorists have already won!
If God is a DJ, life is a dance floor, love is the rhythm, you are the music, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your latte is served too hot, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have a massive boner, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have a bird in the hand, while there are still two in the bush, that means the terrorists have already won!
If inhaling a bucket of fried chicken is your idea of a classy night out, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Guy Ritchie casts Madonna in his next film, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to type something in here, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my pantyhose have a run in them, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you should be fighting terrorism, but instead you're reading this website, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the supply line of toilet paper is destroyed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you smell that, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Lil Jon ever rhymes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If mary has a little lamb, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like Bush and Dick, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists are leading by 30 at the half, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't stop running in and out of the house like that, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the milk has chunks in it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Master Shake just blew up the last TV with a flaming crossbow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the western bulldogs win the AFL premiership, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Brazil wins the world cup, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my wife is okay with me seeing other people, that means the terrorists have already won!
If someone's taken the last piece of pizza, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I were a carpenter and you were a lady, that means the terrorists have already won!
If quack quack , that means the terrorists have already won!
If Britney Spears appears in her next video wearing a full-length black bedsheet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Frylock's just as crazy as Shake, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George Bush admits that he's a champions league liar, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think you're going out dressed like that young lady, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your milk has a dick, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the definition of the word "that" is changed to "the terrorists have already won" then, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they make another lame sequel to "Alien", that means the terrorists have already won!
If that damn dog farts one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we gotta rock down to Electric Avenue, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can spend time at work messing around with http://www.fuzrocks.com/terrorists/index.html, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're going to need a bigger boat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jimmy Neutron screws up and puts the whole world at risk again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught in the rain. If you're not into yoga, if you have half-a-brain. If you like making love at midnight, in the dunes of the cape, that means the terrorists have already won!
If eat chicken, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Isabella v. remains free, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we all follow Bender to his locker so he can fetch his weed when we're supposed to be in detention, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Olsen Twins embark on a singing career, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get drunk this weekend, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Pizza Hut is voted "Best Pizza in Town" for the third year in a row, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my cat continues to piss on the drapes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If somebody say "ih hih ih hih ih," somebody sing "hello, hello, hello", that means the terrorists have already won!
If the only choices are paper or plastic, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to pay a lot for this muffler, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you look at it THAT way, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you had asked me five years ago what I'd be doing with my life right now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't explain why you feel compelled to visit Devil's Tower, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have allready won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you came here to chew bubblegum and kick ass, and you're all out of bubblegum, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get in your car and you drive real far and you drive all night and then you see a light and it comes right down and lands on the ground and out pops a man from Mars and you try to run but he's got a gun and he shoots you dead and he eats your head, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I may be so bold, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you say "Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice", that means the terrorists have already won!
If we all join the side of the terrorists, thereby eliminating the very raison d'etre of terrorism, we will have beaten the terrorists at their own game. However, being that we're now terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they don't make 'em in your size, that means the terrorists have already won!
If tomorrow all the things were gone I'd worked for all my life, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you'd like to leave a numeric page, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think that I was put on this earth to be your slave, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you'll turn your head to the left and cough for me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you scored in the 95th percentile, that means the terrorists have already won!
If someone from Zgeek sees this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it means that much to you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If David Hasselhoff, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't let him figure it out for himself, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you look at the person on your right and then look at the person your left, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the only choices are Star Trek, Fear Factor, or Emmet Otter's Jug Band Christmas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't floss in public, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there are no more green eggs and ham, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my dog eats yellow snow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it smells like roses, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your mum manages to lose 10 kilos off her ass, that means the terrorists have already won!
If its double or nothing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If pants arn't optional, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it's not a tumor, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the bridge is out!, that means the terrorists have already won!
If charlie's in the trees, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mama said knock you out, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're not in Kansas anymore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're with stupid, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Daniel Willis reads this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If There's you wake up in a big fucking stadium, look up at the billboard and the score says TERRORISTS 129, YOU 0, and the clock says it's about 10 seconds left, then, probably, , that means the terrorists have already won!
If people don't recognise your true identity just cos you're wearing glasses, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I get older and they stay the same age, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this isn't the best quote of the lot, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can draw "Winky", that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't touch this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm late for a very important date, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my balls are itchy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm rollin, in my five-point-oh, with the rag top down so my hair can blow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you blame it on the rain, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you eat McDonalds every day for a month and make a movie about it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your name is Chip and you have a lisp, that means the terrorists have already won!
If (condition) { statement } else {, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we're not in Kansas anymore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my dealer doesn't get better blow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the winner is a terrorist and he's not the first one to win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're looking for a good time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the webmaster won't delete all the repeat conditions, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you reach 88 miles per hour in a supermarket car park, that means the terrorists have already won!
If GI want cheap BOOM BOOM, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you recognise someone in a porno, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's ten thousand spoons, when all you need is a knife, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a peanut is not really a nut, but a legume, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your parents are older than you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't run naked from Harrods to the Royal Albert Hall , that means the terrorists have already won!
If , and only if, that means the terrorists have already won!
If her pants are tight and thats okay, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you your pistol is loaded, and you shot Betty Crocker, and you deliver Colonel Sanders down to Davy Jones' locker, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true, and, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you were formerly known as "Prince", that means the terrorists have already won!
If Man is 5, if Man is 5, if Man is 5, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I pick my bum, that means the terrorists have already won!
If iraq is nuked, that means the terrorists have already won!
If y+(r/2x-m)*4=y/4, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't finish your cereal for breakfast, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Australia wins the next world cup, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't buy a teatowel anymore because all the women are wearing them on their faces, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you gotta get up to get down, that means the terrorists have already won!
If he's got a nice body, and he's wearing velvet pants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we destroy civil liberties in the name of defending freedom, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I believe I can fly, if I believe I can touch the sky, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you wonder how can we sleep while our beds are burning, that means the terrorists have already won!
If no one has mentioned the Japanese yet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If sin(x + sin(x)) = y, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't kick the bass, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you keep that up, you'll go blind, and, that means the terrorists have already won!
If one morning, upon awakening, I look out of my bedroom window and the day is so beautiful that I cannot imagine going to work. So I pull on my clothes and I get out the bike, and I head-out into the mountains. The chill breaze descends from the upper slopes and sweat glistens on my skin and the bike on the tarmac is silent enough that small animals only scatter when I get right up level with them. Then it is hard to imagine anything, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists start fearing terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I ever see Comic Sans ever again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we, even for a short while and under great duress, adopt tactics that are unworthy of us, then we become the terrorists and, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't care what I'm writing here, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they've already clocked it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this is allowed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you call is important to us - please hold for the next available operator, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we define "terrorist" as "winner", that means the terrorists have already won!
If Error: 1201 SQLSTATE: HY000 ( ER_MASTER_INFO ) Message: Could not initialize master info structure; more error messages can be found in the MySQL error log;, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to ask why, that means the terrorists have already won!
If such axioms as are implicit in the structure of the world imply that the terrorists have won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people don't buy 10 copies of Retro Gamer each, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Sony doesn't release Fiona Apple's new album, that means the terrorists have already won!
If csc turns out to be the inverse of sin, god help us, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I reload this one more damn time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all your base are does in fact turn out to belong to us, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we can't win against obsession. They care, we don't. They win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If when you arrive at the track, the terrorists are already powering into the closing-straight and your running-shoes are still in the locker, that means the terrorists have already won!
If somebody set us up the bomb, that means the terrorists have already won!
If these are as random as they're supposed to be, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my code won't compile, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a terrorist gets bitten by a radioactive spider, or secretly comes from another, more-advanced planet, or was left for dead by his corrupt employers before stealing their technology and integrating it into his own body, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it's left up to the Americans, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the fat lady sings, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we end up playing the game at http://www.wagenschenke.ch/ too much, that means the terrorists have already won!
If P( win | terrorist ) = 1, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Your reading this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I decided to join the terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If beans give you gas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I hear you say that word again young man, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't know how to use the subjunctive, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my poop smells nice like dog breath, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush stays in power, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't walk into a pond to take a panoramic picture, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man can't staple books shut with no pants on, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the president can't get a blow job in the white house, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the USA doesn't win the Olympics, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it keeps raining like this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you no longer find kittens cute, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my wife actually puts out, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all our base are belong to them, that means the terrorists have already won!
If two trains depart from London, one travelling North at 25kph and the other travelling east at 15kph, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Chicago Cubs don't break the curse, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you know FCKGW-RHQQ2-YXRKT-8TG6W-2B7Q8 off by heart, that means the terrorists have already won!
If two trains depart from London at 2:15pm, one travelling East at 25kph and the other travelling North at 15kph, that means the terrorists have already won!
If typing www.zgeek.com is not a shameless act of site-pimpage, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't find the mustard, that means the terrorists have already won!
If x^n+ y^n = z^n has no non-zero integer solutions for x, y and z when n > 2, that means the terrorists have already won!
If only YOU can prevent forest fires, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I slap my ass a couple of times, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you realise that this is a decent site, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to wipe your ass more than 4 times after you poo, that means the terrorists have already won!
If silly rhymes are lots of fun, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the "liberal media" starts lying to cover the Bush administrations lies and mistakes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the kettle boils over, that means the terrorists have already won!
If driving my car around makes the mileage increase, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the cereal box is empty, that means the terrorists have already won!
If any Democrat gets a vote, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't attack some unrelated nation, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush keeps saying the terrorists will never win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't tell me the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If The Matrix has you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you dont eat your green beans, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it puts the lotion on its skin, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they play one more fucking Toyota ad with annoying singing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If roses are red and violets are blue, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't shut the hell up, you loud-mouthed little brats, that means the terrorists have already won!
If dogs can't pee standing up, that means the terrorists have already won!
If terrorists have better shoes than us, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you've fallen and you can't get up, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you didn't choose the blue pill, that means the terrorists have already won!
If men start wearing dresses, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we have already lost, that means the terrorists have already won!
If things no longer can go wrong, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i don't leave my house, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we elect Terminator as governor, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Al Jazeera Online gets more visits then CNN, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Janet starts showing her boobs in public, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your local shoestore sells more sandals then actual shoes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're wasting time reading this at work, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we get Dallas reruns on prime time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a woodchuck could chuck wood, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can no longer sue you neighbour for no apparant reason, that means the terrorists have already won!
If taxes continue to decrease and interest rates rise while spending goes unchecked, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get a call for Homer Sexual, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists can know they've won in more than 2000 different ways, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you order a McPork Menu, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we start wasting our time by entering conditions on this site, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get free Viagra, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Andy Kauffman came back from the dead, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Moses supposes his noses are roses, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Dick Cheney continues to eat raw babies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Moses supposes his toeses are Roses, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Burger King offers a free Al Qaeda toy with their children's meal, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get myself a 1967 Cadillac Eldorado convertible, hot pink! With whale-skin hubcaps and big brown baby seal eyes for headlights, and if I don't drive around in that baby at 115 miles per hour, getting 1 mile per gallon, Sucking down quarter pounder cheeseburgers from McDonalds in the old-fasioned non-biodegradable styrofoam containers, and if, when I'm done sucking down those greaseball burgers, I don't wipe my mouth on the American flag and toss the styrofoam containers right out the side, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you link to this site from your own site or personal blog, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Britney Spears poses for Playboy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jenny's hair turns brown, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Portugal doesn't win the Euro 2004, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm not allowed to stand outside Buckingham Palace with my pants round my ankles, furiously masturbating, that means the terrorists have already won!
If graham quits, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a=b except when b/4.5 = c, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you use ROFL, LMAO, or LOL, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't put peanut butter on my junk for my neighbor's dog, that means the terrorists have already won!
If "The Shawshank Redemption" is always playing on at least one TV station, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ray Charles is dead, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're not nice to your sister, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Chris Cuomo at 212-847-4174 is a homosexual, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we establish a sensible foreign policy that utilizes a multi-national military force to maintain political stability throughout third-world nations, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you click reload one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the President can get a hummer in the Oval Office, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I hear "In Da Club" on the radio one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Steve Gutenburg makes another film, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your friends don't dance, and if they don't dance, well, that means the terrorists have already won!
If John Ashcroft starts singing cheesy music, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the sun doesn't explode by the end of the year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I pick my nose and I pull a bug out, that means the terrorists have already won!
If love won't keep us together, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this is my brother Daryl, and this my other brother Daryl, that means the terrorists have already won!
If britney spears and cletus have a baby, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have Ozone, Turbo, and Special K, and we have Electrorock, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush wins the election, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the U.S. elects Kerry, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you sass me on more time...go wait in the truck. because, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you eat salad, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we are fighting a war against terrorism, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Tri-Force is ever found again, and the Master Sword unshiethed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my wife gives me sex, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i can't find a job in september, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you eat Special K with Bananas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't buy little Suzy a pony, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you ask questions, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't buy a realdoll, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people stay home, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Howard Stern can't say penis on the radio, that means the terrorists have already won!
If President Bush talks to Jesus in the White House, that means the terrorists have already won!
If curry replaces hot dogs at ball games, that means the terrorists have already won!
If turbans become the next fashion statement, that means the terrorists have already won!
If monkeys throw their feces at life size george bush repilcas, while singing sha na na, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i have to reboot this server one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't pee right now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Michael Jackson's dick is all weirdly pigmented, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have a hard stool, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can use this form for spam, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Circus Peanuts taste stale, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you only feel right on your knees, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jesus doesn’t slay all the vampires, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Strongbadia doesn’t prevail, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don’t already obey andre the giant, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't see Fahrenheit 9/11, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bob Dylan does a Victoria Secret ad, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you thought that twin from Euro Trip was hot and wanted to see her naked but then realized she was Pete’s friend in that Nickelodeon show “Pete and Pete”, that means the terrorists have already won!
If shoving feathers up your ass makes you a chicken, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists haven't already not lost, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you actualy shampoo, rinse AND repeat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If an Emoticon is used for your child's name, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the other Olsen Twin checks in for an eating dissorter, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Saddam successfully uses the "If it doesn't fit you must acquit" plea, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the bulldog vomits a chewed-off piece of her toy under your desk, that means the terrorists have already won!
If If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you believed they put a man on the moon, man on the moon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If $20 can't buy off a Mexican cop, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jessica Simpson can read, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you fondle your sweaters, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you drive a fucking SUV, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm layin' back in the cut, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush is elected in 2004, that means the terrorists have already won!
If hardly art, hardly starving, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my dad is unemployed for another six months, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you dont brush after every meal, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't vote Michael Badnarik in 2004, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Bimmer Chick gets any hotter, that means the terrorists have already won!
If entropy was fun, that means the terrorists have already won!
If somebody needs to make a random "if you ________ _______ ______ the terrorists have already won" generator, that means the terrorists have already won!
If TERRORISTS ARE GOING TO MAKE YOU GLUE PAPER!, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you touch yourself one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Atkins diets make you thinner, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we gon' sip Bacardi like it's your birfday , that means the terrorists have already won!
If "It's a small world" becomes our national anthem, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mel Gibson can't do a big budget movie about Christ or the Crusades, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ann Coulter can't talk about blowing up the NY Times, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't find a hot persian chick to molest, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fuzzle dice are required headgear for all gerbils, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I am Canadian, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my heart will go on, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you might be a redneck, that means the terrorists have already won!
If homestar runner takes over, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Zulu is Kono, and Kam Fong is Chin Ho, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we all seal our windows with duck tape, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we leave the pro-war conservative to run the country, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Group X hits the charts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you use MS Windows, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Eminem paints himself black, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I quit this job, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't overload this textbox ..... asdlfkjasd;lfjas;lfasj;lfsj;alfjalsas;ldfkjasld;kfjsadl;fsad;, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to pay a fine to your government just because you drive a little fast., that means the terrorists have already won!
If You dont click this link!!, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't talk on a phone while driving, and eating greasy fast food, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Annie Applegarth doesn't get laid soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you jerk off only once a day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Annie Applegarth doesn't get fired immediately, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Pier Six's Annie Applegarth doesn't get laid *really* soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we can't get the Dick out of the Bush, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i have to pack my bong MYSELF, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you waste your time reading this dumb-ass stuff, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the actual intention is that you take the opposite of this statement to be the truth, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have cloven hooves and chew your cud, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you gimme a 'T', gimme an 'E', gimme an 'R' ... etc..., that means the terrorists have already won!
If they're still at number one in three weeks, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Craig Taylor isn't the coolest, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the music stops, that means the terrorists have already won!
If she sells seashells by the seashore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're two clicks from Da Nang and need a medi-vac STAT, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you call now, you'll receive a free set of steak knives, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it don't matter if your black or white, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you want to destroy my sweater, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't type what I damn well please in this text box, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this head cold doesn't go away soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Britney Spears breeds, that means the terrorists have already won!
If , by the sheer number of these statements, it isn't already quite blatantly clear that the terrorists have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If she makes you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Arsenal are playing at home, that means the terrorists have already won!
If [inevitable statement], that means the terrorists have already won!
If you dig vegan food, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can no longer pleasure a woman, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush takes the oath in January 2004, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're rhymin' and stealin' in a drunken state, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we all float down here, that means the terrorists have already won!
If an egg comes out of a chicken and a chick comes out of an egg, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't do exactly what I want when I want, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you eat excrement, that means the terrorists have already won!
If John Sununu takes over the country, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's an egg on my knee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't get jokes but laugh anyway, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it tastes like burning, that means the terrorists have already won!
If at some time in the future, the terrorists travel way back in time, and win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you wake up one day and have a giant clamp on your penis, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't actually lose those 30 pounds in 30 days, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to think about the terrorists for one more minute, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i spill coffee on my lap, that means the terrorists have already won!
If not, that means the terrorists have already won!
If David Hasselhoff makes a comeback, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you've bought 50 lbs of duct tape and tin foil, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this drives more hits to my blog, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my web site is down, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can find Fuzzrock's hidden list of all possible ways the terrorists can win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If There are more than 2000 ways the terrorists can know they've won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I could keep time in a bottle, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it's been a terrible, horrible, no good very bad day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you say goodnight to the old lady whispering "hush,", that means the terrorists have already won!
If the haxxor leet take over this list , that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have a livejournal account and a blogger or MT account, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my daughter tears all the pup culture fridge magnets up and I can't find Dick's pants, that means the terrorists have already won!
If freedom friend are still in dictionaries in the year 2020, belatedly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If tab A won't fit into slot B, that means the terrorists have already won!
If colleges around the country don't have to fire some of those newly-minted Islamic Studies teaching fellows, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't have my television without commercials, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Brak says the terrorists have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you shake the milk, find there's only that little bit of milk left in the carton, and then put the carton back, that means the terrorists have already won!
If milk doesn't get cheaper really damn soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my condition has been added, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't have my cake and also stuff it into a small cannister and stack it in my well-insulated bomb shelter, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people continue to celebrate Michael Moore for playing fast and loose with the truth just because he's a liberal like them, then turn around and call Bush hypocritical and unpresidential for the same tactics, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I hang two lanterns in the belfry window of yonder Lexington church, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I spend far too much time adding conditions to this random generator, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't stop compulsively reading this site, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you suck my dick, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we all waste time with random "the terrorists have already won" generators, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the axioms of ZF are inconsistent, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a chicken with green stripes shows up on your front porch, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they don't give me a tax break for my Hummer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you reloaded this page, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're proud of being able to play your music on more than once device, that means the terrorists have already won!
If sodomy remains outlawed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to ask your 'hacker' friend for advice on how to watch your DVDs on your computer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the leader of your nation doesn't read newspapers, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're afraid of terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you feel unsafe, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think your country needs more 'security', that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're using IE despite the recommendations of (for example) CERT and Slate, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't vote in the next elections, that means the terrorists have already won!
If something in the phrasing isn't quietly amazing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're thinking about reloading "just one more time", that means the terrorists have already won!
If i don't get a blowjob in the next 5 minutes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think too many of the reasons why the terrorists have already won were obviously submitted by liberal left-wing fanatics, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George W wins the election, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have read more than one "beowulf" or "hot grits" joke today, that means the terrorists have already won!
If "yes" becomes a reasonable approximation for "no", that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man shall lose his friend's hammer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If water, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't smoke in bars, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Vincent Gallo is allowed to make another movie, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my herpes doesn't clear up, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my buttocks remain this tightly clenched, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Paris Hilton doesn't go away forever very soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you blow chunks, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your left mouse finger is getting sore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are only clicking to see your own submission come up, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Axl Rose ever gets off his arse, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't masturbate in the senate whilst telling everyone to fuck off, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my scalp gets any thinner, that means the terrorists have already won!
If chung wow sim bay tao foo ffo, that means the terrorists have already won!
If ??? ????ð??§?§ ??V? ?1????? ?ðÑ, that means the terrorists have already won!
If gur greebevfgf unir nyernql jba, that means the terrorists have already won!
If th3 t3rr0r15tz hav3 alr3ady w0n, that means the terrorists have already won!
If 111010011010001100101 1110100110010111100101110010110111111100101101001111001111101001110011 1101000110000111101101100101 1100001110110011100101100101110000111001001111001 111011111011111101110, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I feel the urge to poo, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jennifer Anniston doesn't make 5 million dollars on her next movie, that means the terrorists have already won!
If par noon diddy diddy footy cumpy glumpy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a terist has a reday run, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my pee stream splits into two, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't wanna be a pizza burnin', that means the terrorists have already won!
If you swing your partner round n round, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you do the hokey tokey and you turn around, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're gay and you LOVE the cock but you still fuck your totally hot female friend so as not to be all the way gay, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't understand how the first Austin Powers was so good but the rest smoked pole, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists plant the bomb before you can kill them all or time runs out, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Flash will save every one of us, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you ring up that hot girl you really really want and the person answering the phone asks who's speaking and you tell them and they say "Oh, um, sorry, she's not here ever again.", that means the terrorists have already won!
If I reach back like a pimp and I slap the ho, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I die before I waked and I'm allowed to rock out naked, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Cheney isn't awaiting trial in the Hague by November, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Rush Limbaugh is still high, that means the terrorists have already won!
If A is indeed not really A, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the House of Saud and the Likud win in November, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you "forgot" your wallet AGAIN, that means the terrorists have already won!
If another terrorist attack is allowed to occur on American soil, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ashcroft is finally stopped from raping Lady Liberty, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to listen to "Let the Eagles Soar" ever again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your pants are so tight that the back of them is really low and when you bend over your ass hangs out the back of your pants, and everyone says 'hey look at the ass on that guy, it's really fat' , that means the terrorists have already won!
If you find the beast beneath your bed, in your coffee and in your head, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Microsoft isn't broken into a gazillion pieces, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't learn how to break dance, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they have a hammer, a hammer, a hammer, a hammer, to hammer them down, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I believe when I fall in love this time it will be forever, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Hugo Chavez is forced from office, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Republicans destroy all social programs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Christine doesn't list one of my submissions among her choice submissions, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Allah comes down to Earth and seriously fucks some shit up, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists roll a natural 20 while wielding a +5 Sword of Blowing Things Up, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't dance, dance, DANCE, damn you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the US adopts the metric system, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you do not bow in supplication before me, none other than humanity's Savior, Messiah, Returning Lord and True Parent, that means the terrorists have already won!
If have sex for any reason other than procreation, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are not terrified, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't say your prayers, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to eat ONE MORE DAMNED PASTE SANDWICH, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they've toppled the Mad, Deadly, Worldwide, Gangster, Communist, Frankenstein Computer God, that means the terrorists have already won!
If on a winter's night a traveller, outside the town of Malbork, leaning from the steep slope without fear of wind or vertigo, looks down in the gathering shadow in a network of lines that enlace, in a network of lines that intersect, on the carpet of leaves illuminated by the moon around an empty grave, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your are reading this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are on an island that is inhabited by only two tribes, one of the tribes always tells the truth, and one of the tribes always lies, and you have two doors in front of you - one opens up to great treasure and the other opens up to certain death, and you need to open up one of the doors, but only the tribes know what is behind the doors and you don't know which tribe is which and you can only ask one question of one of the tribes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you tolerate this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to go to work tomorrow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you w*ant your P^EN1S to be H~4~R~D a1l the time? ___vmubr3552, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my cat's breath smells like cat food, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you fantasize about making love to your girlfriend whilst she's wearing a full length Hijab, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your holy book only contains the first five books of the old testament, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Wal-Mart Supercenters innudate California, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you raise your hand in the air and wave it around like you just don't care, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Michael Moore takes home a new gerbil, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't fix that CDP allocation program, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bill O'Reilley still has his own show, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Daily Show suddenly becomes unfunny and toothless, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Anna had never been frightened of her future, she was now. No job, no home, family completely out of touch, and she didn't have a single friend in Bratislava. A flight of doves erupted from the nearby statue of an old war hero. One landed by her feet and looked up with that glance, that old, cold avian glance, that means the terrorists have already won!
If JWalk moves to Arizona, that means the terrorists have already won!
If FATMOUSE DOES NOT EAT DINNER ON YOUR GRANDMA'S LACE TABLECLOTH, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a tree falls in the forrest, and nobody hears it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you dont see Farenheit 9/11, that means the terrorists have already won!
If our nation is so paralyzed by fear that we elect George W. Bush to be President for a second term, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your name is mike, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Meatwad can't have an adult glass, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the other Olsen twin doesn't go into rehab, too, that means the terrorists have already won!
If somebody doesn't put a stop to Avril Levigne, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they explode all our TVs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like pina colada and taking walks in the rain, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to poop again today, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Comedy Central keeps showing the same 5 bad movies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Adult Swim doesn't hurry up and make new Aquateen episodes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If kids can't buy boxcutters, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bloomberg keeps persecuting Mr. Softee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Law and Order reruns ever get taken off the air, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get laid this weekend, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I scratch my balls, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Creed reunite, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Toby Keith is allowed to live, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't have sex with guys young enough to be my son, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get back to work already, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there are any more Judds out there, that means the terrorists have already won!
If hookers don't make a fortune during the republican convention, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't buy discount Vicodin online, that means the terrorists have already won!
If stupid Americans can't learn spelling and punctuation, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't smoke in bars and drink on the street, that means the terrorists have already won!
If actors keep insisting they're musicians, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't drive 55, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Courtney Love regains custody of Frances, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mick Jagger makes another solo record, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the price of cocaine goes up, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this van's a'rockin', that means the terrorists have already won!
If everybody talks about Dr. Phil, but nobody ever does anything about him, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you leave off the last 'S' for savings, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fucking Wyoming gets more anti-terrorism funding than NYC, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Pearl Jam haven't been blown to pieces, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Hilton family keeps getting TV shows, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it doesn't fit and you must acquit, that means the terrorists have already won!
If California doesn't fall into the ocean very soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If The Rock is ever elected to office, any office, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get my housekeeper to clean up the disgusting crap under my refrigerator drawer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If ER isn't cancelled already, for chrissakes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If NYU builds any more ugly-ass dorms in my neighborhood, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you keep making that silly face and it freezes that way, that means the terrorists have already won!
If an enormous tidal wave doesn't wipe out P Diddy's 4th of July party in the Hamptons this weekend, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Macy's is out of black slip-ons in size 8 1/2, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the square root of pi is MC+42/9G+E/MC2, that means the terrorists have already won!
If if every taco turns purple, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you take two, and call me in the morning, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my toes get moldy, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's a hole in my bucket, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Yankees lead the AL East, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't do the perfect 540 backflip no hander in Mat Hoffman BMX 2 on XBOX in less than a thousand tries, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you just move a little to the right - thats it - and you at the back, could you come in a bit - perfect - now say 'cheese', that means the terrorists have already won!
If dogs fight cats, that means the terrorists have already won!
If someone thinks the line from the song is "it's just the beast under your bed, in your COFFEE, in your head" instead of "in your CLOSET", that means the terrorists have already won!
If If Ashlee Simpson gets her own show and record deal, that means the terrorists have already won!
If If you can keep your head when all about you are losing theirs and blaming it on you,, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all men count with you, but none too much, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you go to the university of phoenix online, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it is a truth universally acknowledged that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you just say "NO" to drugs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If mikey will eat anything, that means the terrorists have already won!
If that really is a gun in your pocket and you're not just happy to see me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you shiv a goat for Jesus, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't shiv a goat for Jesus, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they put a man in maroon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your greatest fear is vagina dentata, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Meatwad gets a brain, Master Shake pays the bills, and Carl gets laid by someone other than a dirty dirty whore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't use HTML with CSS in this form, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Anna Nicole Smith can walk a straight line and go 30 seconds without humping something, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you shit urine and piss shit, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a Honda wins any kind of race, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there a dirty men with towels on their heads at your door, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you yell "Take that Saddam!" while playing Counter Strike, you're a little obsessive and, that means the terrorists have already won!
If hell freezes over, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your "Reload" text is purple, just like your overly beaten penis, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the United States got PWN3D, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the rabbit has BIG, POINTY TEETH! , that means the terrorists have already won!
If you'd hit it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If John Cleese and Eric Idle didn't play a shitload of parts in Monty Python Holy Grail and I accidently typed "Pythong" at first, that means the terrorists have already won!
If every penis and nipple on the planet went limp, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I laugh because I'm about to make you use your horizontal scroll bar 133713371337133713371337133713371337133713371337, that means the terrorists have already won!
If God isn't black or white, isn't gay or straight, isn't male or female, and God ends up being Michael Jackson, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Fuzz e Fuz and Sushique didn't make this possible, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it's the end of the night, and the guys with the IED's have a huge pile of your cash, but you don't even have cab fare any more, that means the terrorists have already won!
If y_ _ w_ _ ld l_k_ t_ b_y _ v_w_l, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a broken clock is right twice a day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you spent your grocery money and rent on online porn and hentai, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a flat chested chick owns a 32C bra, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I got the slightest bit of a tan, that means the terrorists have already won!
If !now ydaerla evah stsirorret eht snaem taht , *blank* fI, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you still wonder why it's always in the last place you look, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Pee-Wee Herman can't remember The Alamo, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jesus is 7 then the Devil is 6, that means the terrorists have already won!
If makeout with that crazy guy down the street, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a traffic-starved website can whore itself by aggregating the various ways for the terrorists to win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush and his entire cabinet aren't prosecuted for war crimes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If every American who isn't a complete and utter moron doesn't see "Farenheit 9-1-1", that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kevin Costner keeps being allowed to make movies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there's no queer eye for the straight woman, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I didn't forgive you , that means the terrorists have already won!
If martians are more than microbes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we are invaded by mimes strapped with dynamite, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have diarea tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If sand were made of plutonium or uranium, that means the terrorists have already won!
If don't "got "milk while eating oreos, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your mamma smokes crack rock, that means the terrorists have already won!
If racism exsits in the US, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the sand niggers keep multiplying like locusts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the united states are a buch of imperialistic bastards, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are a cock smoker, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are wasting time with this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Britney spears was not a virgin when she first got married, that means the terrorists have already won!
If shaqueal o'neal makes a free throw, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Allah is the real God, that means the terrorists have already won!
If six by nine equals forty-two, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there is no spoon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If women stop swallowing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fat, spoiled, stupid Americans can't continue to drive gas-guzzling vehicles, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are dead, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Karl Rove feels constipated, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the fearmongers emerge victorious, that means the terrorists have already won!
If then else, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists are too 1337, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm sad that I'm flying, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they build that hideous "Freedom Tower" in Lower Manhattan, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Jerk Store is out of you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't go to see fireworks this Independence Day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the US has a declared policy of canceling elections in the event of a terrorist attacke, that means the terrorists have already won!
If women have to lower their burkas instead of flashing their titties, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have trouble relaxing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you feel slightly guilty or silly immediately after masturbating, that means the terrorists have already won!
If anyone ever answers an email to have their penis and/or breasts enlarged, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't keep your mouth shut, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people don't start making up knock knock jokes about the terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If jesus died for your sins, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your penis gets erect from looking at asco, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I see asco ever again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jesus is dead, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my nuts shrivel up and blow away, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you vote George Bush, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I ride you like a dog, that means the terrorists have already won!
If taking a dump hurts even a little bit, that means the terrorists have already won!
If www.forums.sblum.net is shut down, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are a homosexual, that means the terrorists have already won!
If inonothing, thinks shenosesomething, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't lick the Toad, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my lava-lamp ever quits lava-lamping, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm filling out this form for the 20th time today, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I like the Bob Dylan Victoria's Secret ad, more & more each time I hear it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fat hairy Yankees fans can't squeeze in to the back of a cab, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I ever become a citizen of Canada, voluntarily, for love, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I turn down a $200 million lottery ticket for true love, that means the terrorists have already won!
If R. doesn't find me again soon, out there, somewhere in the 'ether', that means the terrorists have already won!
If x=5, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're using internet explorer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Microsoft let Steve Ballmer on stage without giving him his valium again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If intel is inside, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Clive Owen leaves his wife for Patricia (instead of for me), that means the terrorists have already won!
If my cock is huge, that means the terrorists have already won!
If drudgereport becomes the most popular news site, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you get sick of eating honey roasted cashews, that means the terrorists have already won!
If George W. Bush get's re-elected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fish can fly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If apples are green, red, and yellow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If anyone but Feniin Mantra wins the SBlum Fight Club, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Dan Dean gives me a hard time about calling it "open apple", that means the terrorists have already won!
If I become the international sign for choking, that means the terrorists have already won!
If even one person votes for that moron with a cowboy fetish, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have a Jack in your hand whose suit matches the suit of the starter card, that means the terrorists have already won!
If tornadoes take over the world, that means the terrorists have already won!
If those kittens in my anus are still alive, that means the terrorists have already won!
If WILL YOU QUIT TOUCHING ME?!!, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I become an international pop star, and my dog is my fly-girl, that means the terrorists have already won!
If naked ophthalmology is a sin, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you sit on my face, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't want to poo on a hand, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are some eggs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my right arm is in the Western Hemisphere, and my left arm is in the Eastern Hemisphere, that means the terrorists have already won!
If DEWEY DEFEATS TRUMAN, that means the terrorists have already won!
If elbow smash, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are Mormon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your computer time is limited, that means the terrorists have already won!
If [censored] , that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think being married allows you to loosen your approach to farting underneath the bed covers, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i rock, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Rush can't pimp his maid to buy more Oxycontin, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Osama bin Laden is nominated at the Republican National convention, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you click reload just ONE MORE TIME, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Pauly Shore does make another movie, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you plagiarize, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it burns when you pee, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you suck, that means the terrorists have already won!
If yortis is fully materialized, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to stop the car, that means the terrorists have already won!
If sean david is the new fire chief, that means the terrorists have already won!
If george bush wins the election, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to reload this website, that means the terrorists have already won!
If climbing up a tree naked while wearing an aluminum foil helmet to block the space transmissions commanding me to boil lobsters while humming the theme to SWAT and doing chorus line kicks is not considered normal, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I manage to become best friends with my evil sister-in-law, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the next Bush in the White House is not a woman, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists have not won, are not winning, and will never win, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the monkeys ever come up with Hamlet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are no longer allowed to mention several European countries, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you feel strangly compelled to do the hokey-pokey, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you find that you don't really mind all the ads, that means the terrorists have already won!
If decency in broadcast laws lead me to believe that I don't exist, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you need a bigger penis, that means the terrorists have already won!
If crack is not the answer, that means the terrorists have already won!
If another movie featuring Rob Schneider is released, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ronald Reagan isn't voted in as the next President, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Michael Jackson can't have entirely innocent sexual relations with little boys without being hounded by the gutter press and taken to court, that means the terrorists have already won!
If x=terrorists, y=terrorism and v=victory, and x+y=v, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it takes two baby, it takes two baby, just me and you, it takes two, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists won every time George Bush said something incomprehensible and stupid, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a loose syndicate of terrorist cells repeatedly attack us and topple our delicate economy - and therefore - our leadership, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Dick Cheney remains (Vice) President, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you truely beleive ketchup is a vegetable, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can manage to have a menage a trois, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to wipe your butt, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you wanna be my lover, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fuzrocks sucks, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Succoallapera (version) 5 will never be finally uploaded on my server, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Philadelphai Eagles lose, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't mention the war, that means the terrorists have already won!
If ooga booga, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't wear a towel on my head after washing my hair, that means the terrorists have already won!
If P. Diddy makes another movie, that means the terrorists have already won!
If SCO wins its lawsuit again IBM, that means the terrorists have already won!
If (in Soviet Russia) you win the terrorists, that means the terrorists have already won!
If only outlaws have assault rifles, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get my GODDAMN CHEESECAKE in 5 MINUTES, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the internet is down, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Isabella v. gets kidnapped by her evil father, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Duke Nukem Forever isn't released this year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Aliens eat my Buick, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your squad has been eliminated, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're looking for a challenge, or maybe some light fighting, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't drive an SUV, that means the terrorists have already won!
If blah blah blah SUV blah blah, that means the terrorists have already won!
If blah blah blah Bush something blah blah blah, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Fez saying Amedica isn't the funniest, that means the terrorists have already won!
If blah blah blah politics blah blah Michael Moore blah blah Bush blah, that means the terrorists have already won!
If those aren't edible panties, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't shut up, that means the terrorists have already won!
If blah blah blah Oil blah blah, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the next Star Wars film is as crap as the previous two, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're watching me from across the street, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people really think having German opera sung in English is reallt "better", that means the terrorists have already won!
If Greg and Sarah keeping making out and acting like teenagers and ignoring me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ken Livingstone, mayer of London, dines with IRA members and welcomes Islamic militants who advocate suicide bombing into our capital, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Osama Bin Laden is allowed to slap his genitalia repeatedly across George W Bush's cheeks, before noisily ejaculating onto Donald Rumsfeld's glasses, that means the terrorists have already won!
If dim American actors who are 3% Irish actually hold telethons in America for money for Sinn Fein and the IRA and aren't outlawed by Clinton in 1996, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think you saved "saved our asses" in WW2 rather than belatedly prevented your own demise at the hands of a despotic fascist leader who was destined to control Europe and have nucelar weapons within a year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If women are given the vote, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't take back some women's rights, that means the terrorists have already won!
If an infinite amount of monkeys on an infinite amount of typewriters don't come out with some Shakespeare plays soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this website http://www.davidhasselhoffonline.com isn't a pisstake, and I don't think it is, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I sit around typing more of these rather than roll a spliff and go to bed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If these jeans make me look fat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you may have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're viewing this page in Internet Explorer for Windows, that means the terrorists have already won!
If American Idol returns next season, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a tree falls in the woods, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't forward this letter on to at least 7 people, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this is my new neighbor, that means the terrorists have already won!
If reload this page at least 7 more times, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kobe, OJ, and Martha can beat the rap, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't eat sushi in your shorts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a-b=c, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you try an emotionally blackmail me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Pope is an animatronic puppet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the government can track your library records, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mike Moore dictates the Democratic party's talking points, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i have to pay my cell phone bill, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this is the future and I don't have a jetpack, that means the terrorists have already won!
If poodly poodly poodly pie, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Fiona Apple's new CD isn't released from its major label bondage, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jenna Bush can't get a legal abortion, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't each learn the lyrics to "Let the Eagle Soar" by John Ashcroft, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't take a nice, big sushi dump tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you people don't learn how to spell, that means the terrorists have already won!
If McDonald's screw me on the chocolate fudge again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you've clicked 'reload' more than twice, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you place your order within the next 10 minutes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I see another "If Kerry/Bush wins" entry here, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists use this site for inspiration, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are not listed, apologies,, that means the terrorists have already won!
If any more bars go out of business because of the fucking anti-smoking and anti-dancing regulations, that means the terrorists have already won!
If americans can tell australians how to vote, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the price of fried rice has increased by two baht, that means the terrorists have already won!
If aphids can continue to suck the life juice out of my lilies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If roses really smell like poo-poo-poo..., that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kenneth Lay doesn't join his Bush Administration cronies in jail by this time next year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If either Kerry or Bush wins the election, that means the terrorists have already won!
If your vote factors in terrorist threats, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i don't keep eating big macs, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I bleed from my armpit, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't supersize my extra value meals anymore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the mean terrorists already have won that, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't hack this submit line, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Colin Powell ever dresses up as one of the Village People and does the YMCA, that means the terrorists have already won!
If somebody programs a contribution-based random "If _____ , that means the terrorists have already won!" webpage script, that means the terrorists have already won!
If everyone started to glue paper, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we start coming up with reasons the terrorists have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't eat all your vegetables, that means the terrorists have already won!
If kids don't know what the rap is all about, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you keep refreshing this window, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you cannot use a name that begins with a dot ".", because these names are reserved for the system, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can no longer enjoy tahini sauce with your falafel, that means the terrorists have already won!
If hipster cease to wear trucker hats, that means the terrorists have already won!
If If that bitch Ann Coulter writes another insipid piece of literary excrement and claims that it is legitimate journalism, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Dubya spontaniously grows a brain, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Kasey won't take a bath, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man can't wear a dress in public, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I get one more crotch rash, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you click 'Reload' again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't enjoy the smell of Napalm in the morning, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Evian makes you feel young, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't have sex tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Paris Hilton is allowed to have a record label, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't stand the heat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't have a Pritt Stick in your draw, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm as drunk as I think I am right now, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Jenna Bush can't get a safe, legal abortion, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists had threy apples and they gave too to Ahmed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If , in your country, terrorists have already lost, then, in my country, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Everton signs anyone before the start of the season, that means the terrorists have already won!
If fuckin' Bloomberg is reelected, that fuckin' fuck, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Cheney's artificially preserved head doesn't explode the next time someone asks him about Kenneth Lay, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I eat cheese, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists kill us all, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we all get along, that means the terrorists have already won!
If my dog eats cat shit, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't blow up every country in the east, that means the terrorists have already won!
If family guy continues to be off the air, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the west ceases to exist, that means the terrorists have already won!
If courtney love is not killed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If george bush gets re-elected and has the ability to deny people of their freedoms, that means the terrorists have already won!
If craw ou bony bunny, that means the terrorists have already won!
If morons continue to believe Iraq had ANYTHING to do with 9/11, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you people can't fucking spell or use punctuation correctly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mc Donalds is telling the truth, and we really are lovin' it,, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Bush twins aren't drunken crackwhores, that means the terrorists have already won!
If John Kerry and Frankenberry show up in the same place at once, that means the terrorists have already won!
If they don't get voted off the island, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I see a red door and I want it painted black, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you need the hair of the dog what bit you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't spit on Republican assholes invading my city during the convention, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't pee in the next two minutes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't run through the streets naked yelling "fellatio, fellatio!", that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't drink afer 4:00am, that means the terrorists have already won!
If i have to stop the car to smack the both of you, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I vomit while sleeping in the cold arctic tundra, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it hurts when you swallow, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Hilton sisters don't get the crablice they so richly deserve, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Britney's hubby doesn't take her for every penny she has, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you an ass who collects beanie babies and other idiotic pop culture merchandise, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Barack Obama isn't elected the first black president of the U.S., that means the terrorists have already won!
If everyone else jumps off a bridge, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't buy a new car, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you long for the Clinton era, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you ride a bike instead of driving a car, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bobby Fischer is prosecuted, that means the terrorists have already won!
If women aren't allowed to go nude in public, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a humongous stone statue of the ten commandments tours America in the back of a pickup, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get NewYorkish.com to load properly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists say they have already won, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you poop brown shit, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you see kay, why owe you,, that means the terrorists have already won!
If terrorists can know they've won in more than 5,000 ways, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a person can't stand buck booty ass naked at the bathroom sink washing a pair of filthy underwear with the door open, that means the terrorists have already won!
If somebody set up us the bomb, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Osama Bin Laden is gay, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like the smell of farts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there is no end to the war on terror, that means the terrorists have already won!
If people start eating McDonald's three times a day for 30 days straight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you prefer Windows XP over Mac OS X, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Greece wins another eurocup, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you see a Halal ice cream truck, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Sydney Roosters win another NRL premiership, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you take off every zig, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Wakeman is biased, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are on the way to destruction, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you vote Bush in the next elections, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we don't have the barbecue, that means the terrorists have already won!
If cars have sqaure tires, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we all get jobs and beginning working on the planet Mars while sipping on our gin and juice during the 67th Super Bowl in the middle of a Lunar tornadoe, that means the terrorists have already won!
If _, that means the terrorists have already won!
If michael jacson is straight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Puddin' leaves snail trails on my kitchen countertop and I set my leftover calzone on it the next morning but eat it anyway , that means the terrorists have already won!
If Confronting the mind-set of the "new terrorists", that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to tell you one more time to shut your trap, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't say that you don't disagree with me, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you know the muffin man, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't feel the love tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I fart, that means the terrorists have already won!
If RNC protesters actually use their "peaceful protester" discounts at fucking Applebee's and Tony 'n Tina's yardsale, or whatever the fuck it is..., that means the terrorists have already won!
If you laughed at more than one of these tidbits, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't spel when you tipe, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you lose, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Stones ever stop touring , that means the terrorists have already won!
If Mikey doesn't like it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't watch an all day James Bond marathon on TBS, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Adan changes his name again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If vote for Dubya, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to be strapped into your car with a seatbeat by insurance companies in NJ, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to work one whole day each week to pay taxes that Washington turns around and sends over to Iraq, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't buy gas from an American, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't listen to a news report without hearing half a dozen middle eastern names , that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have to go to the rural mountains of Pennsylvania to hear only english speaking people, that means the terrorists have already won!
If 911 means more than 704, that means the terrorists have already won!
If housewives drive down our highways eating ice cream sundaes with no hands on the steering wheel (I saw this yesterday), that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't give republicans really bad directions during the convention, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ben Affleck is still considered a sex symbol, that means the terrorists have already won!
If baseball players go on strike, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it takes more than one flush to clear the toilet bowl, that means the terrorists have already won!
If parallel lines converge, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to come over there, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this text is in bold, that means the terrorists have already won!
If he's our man and he can't do it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If matter exceeds the speed of light, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I never see my submission show up here, that means the terrorists have already won!
If rock beats paper, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a temporal paradox is created, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Trogdor burninates the countryside, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm a monkey's uncle, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't go to bed soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If nobody tells me otherwise, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we didn't start the fire, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you put that in your mouth, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the refund takes the form of store credit, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't believe this is not butter, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it seems you have been leading two lives, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't let me use the drinking fountain, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you think about it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the word is on the tip of my tongue, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you die laughing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to get up before noon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't turn off the computer before adjusting your SCSI chain, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you use a cell phone while driving, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you were the last man on Earth, that means the terrorists have already won!
If cats always land on their feet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you butter your cat, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you keep on doing that, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're living dangerously, that means the terrorists have already won!
If another one bites the dust, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm Slim Shady, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get a word in edgewise, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't do that on television, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the pizza is cold when it gets here, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Frodo and Sam are captured, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you have performed an illegal operation, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it looked better on paper, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you find yourself in a lose-lose situation, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the dead walk among us, that means the terrorists have already won!
If nobody cares what you think, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't handle the truth, that means the terrorists have already won!
If nobody knows the trouble I've seen, that means the terrorists have already won!
If tapdancing cheese shall fail obstinate driving floor gobble bunnies sponge, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm going off the rails on a crazy train, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't bring us some figgy pudding, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists enter the olympics and win a medal for something, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you touch yourself at night, that means the terrorists have already won!
If McDonald's doesn't stop showing those fucking annoying "I'm Lovin It" commercials, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I ever become an evil overlord, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you leave the iron on, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't always look on the bright side of life, that means the terrorists have already won!
If most housewives can tell the difference between Whizzo butter and a dead crab, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I'm the king of Spain, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the lion sleeps tonight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can name this object, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you reverse the polarity on the main deflector, that means the terrorists have already won!
If denial is not a river in Egypt, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I had a dime for every time I've heard that, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bruce Campbell ever runs out of ammo, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you pry this gun from my cold, dead hands, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the coin-operated dryer leaves my towels damp again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the truth be known, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're wondering how he eats and breathes, and other science facts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you believe a man can fly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If hot dogs come in packages of ten while hot dog buns come in packages of eight, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the GLA forces are victorious, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you make a grown man cry, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you feel lucky, punk, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you follow the lights, that means the terrorists have already won!
If there are four lights, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you keep making that face, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't eat your brussles sprouts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't stop crying, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to explain RAM storage versus hard drive storage one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If friendster doesn't speed up soon, that means the terrorists have already won!
If satan shits a giant drill into your ear, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a witch comes at you WITH a dog, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it is opposite day, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to go to bed before one in the morning, that means the terrorists have already won!
If President Bush farts a bit too smelly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the sun rises one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If planet SKFGF39475 is a ball of molten corn nuts, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the great sacred moose, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the rabid moose speaks Arabic, that means the terrorists have already won!
If this generator only generates the same damn thing, that means the terrorists have already won!
If that idiot in Washington (you know who I mean) wins another term, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I cant have my porn anymore, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I have to listen to one more patriotic asshole say something incredibly anti-democratic, anti-constitutional, and anti-liberty, I will be forced to strangle them and then you know what, , that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush shits his pants while whistling Hail to the Chief, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Seattle Seahawks win the Super Bowl, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Americans cannot discuss their politics openly, that means the terrorists have already won!
If American politicians cannot be honest with the public about Iraq, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the American government cannot find ways to understand and resolve the issues leading to anti-American sentiment, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Brian Clough Dies, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a man makes a housecat jump through a flaming hoop to entertain people who have lost their homes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If terrorists start chopping heads off random innocent people, filming it, and posting the video on the Internet, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the local TV news cops a story off the local newspaper one more time, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you didn't watch my drive, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get car insurance for less than $2,600 per year because I'm a man who drives a red car with no accidents or tickets on my record, that means the terrorists have already won!
If campaign finance reform makes television watchable again, that means the terrorists have already won!
If al-Qaeda does not stand firm in our resolve, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists are up by three scores with a minute left on the clock, and we throw an interception, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you were formerly known as Cat Stevens, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Conan O'Brien regularly gets laid, that means the terrorists have already won!
If everyone is a Muslim, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're excited about the new Batmobile, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you've never played the CD-ROM edition of System Shock, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the government gets the Windows source before the hackers do, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you like Charlotte Bronte more than Emily Bronte, that means the terrorists have already won!
If it happens in Vegas, but doesn't stay in Vegas, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you bought Triumph the Comic Insult Dog CD, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't trust me with your drink, that means the terrorists have already won!
If all of your team members have been killed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists are using a Gameshark during online play, that means the terrorists have already won!
If terrorists camp the rocket launcher, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't get off work for the Dresden Dolls concert in New Orleans, Oct. 12 at One Eyed Jack's, that means the terrorists have already won!
If so, that means the terrorists have already won!
If ($NAME = "Osama bin Laden" or "OSAMA BIN LADEN" or "osama bin laden" or "Osama Bin Laden" or "Usama bin Laden" or "usama bin laden" or "USAMA BIN LADEN") AND (terroristswon=1), that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists are going to make you glue paper, that means the terrorists have already won!
If McDonald's continues to price extra value meals higher than buying a double cheeseburger, $1 drink and $1 fries separately , that means the terrorists have already won!
If Wendy's takes the Double Stack off the 99 cent value menu, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a skateboard can have an independent suspension, a solar car can use lightweight materials to improve gas milage, and an airliner can automatically check its tire pressure, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're crappy and you blow it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I really am the only single person in Louisiana, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the Terrorists win the World Series, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't forward this letter on to 20 other people, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you're terrified, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you make libellious cartoons about your ex-girlfriend, and her dad calls you up and threatens you, and then someone hacks your comics and deletes them all, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Pokey the Penguin hasn't updated in a year, that means the terrorists have already won!
If a hurricane hits Florida on Nov. 2, that means the terrorists have already won!
If White Castle fries only come in one size, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the terrorists cast fire magic on my ice elemental armor, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you link to Natalie Dee but not to explodingdog, that means the terrorists have already won!
If The Onion stops making fun of Republicans, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Glenn did not just come in here with a double cheeseburger, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we have to send more troops to Iraq, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you never bought me that Minibosses t-shirt, that means the terrorists have already won!
If arnold schwarzenegger can get elected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Tony Blair looks like he won first prize at a dog (poodle) show, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you suddenly realise that most of America's enemies have a beard, and you have a beard, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you believe that Iraq is part of the war on terror, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't bother reading this, that means the terrorists have already won!
If can't wear a watch safely, that means the terrorists have already won!
If x-y=3, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't get your pizza within 30 minutes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If he can't do it, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I had any idea what you're talking about, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you make me come over there, that means the terrorists have already won!
If we build a giant wooden badger, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't jump in front of you in a cue, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you are consumed in fear of not being consumed in fear enough, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush gets reelected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I navigate away from this webpage , that means the terrorists have already won!
If Blockbuster keeps Farhrenheit 9/11 behind the counter and The Passion out on the floor, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you don't shop smart and shop S Mart, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I can't read sideways in bed, that means the terrorists have already won!
If explain what "numerical order" means to a college student, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you eat tofu, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you elect George W. Bush, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Bush is re-elected, that means the terrorists have already won!
If I don't get a baked tofu, lettuce, and tomato sandwich in the next 3 minutes, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the new Star Trek series continues to suck this much, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Ed McMahon knocks on the terrorists' door with a giant check, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you can't remember the Pythagorean Theorum, that means the terrorists have already won!
If by the power of Greyskull, I have the power!, that means the terrorists have already won!
If you aren't careful your face might freeze like that, and, that means the terrorists have already won!
If Boston wins the world series, that means the terrorists have already won!
If the words, "I'm Lovin' It" is incorporated into the National Anthem, that means the terrorists have already won!
[ 11-01-2004, 05:01 PM: Message edited by: White Cat ]
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There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.
Registered: Apr 2001
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posted 11-01-2004 02:20 PM
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