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Author Topic: Why everything is always in the last place you look
spunman
Farting Nudist
Member # 1181

posted 10-27-2004 08:52 PM      Profile for spunman        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Useful tip #4.7:

Ever notice everything you're looking for is always in the last place you look? Does it bother you? Fear no more, the answer to all of your problems (or at least this one) is below.

The reason everything is always in the last place you look is because you stop looking for it once you find it. Really, the person that originally complained about everything being in the last place he looked was pretty stupid to have overlooked this simple fact. But it has "gotten to" many people in today's world, and now everyone complains about it.

Complain no more! The next time you find something you were looking for, be glad you found it where you did. Hey, at least you found it, right? Then take a few precious seconds out of your busy day to keep looking for it. Sounds crazy, looking for something you just found, but not as crazy as you think.

Say you find something under your couch. Most people would say, "Damn! There it is under the couch. It's always in the last place you look!"

But, if you take those few precious seconds to look in the closet, under your dog's butt, in the water in the toilet, etc... Then you stop, look at your prize in your hand, and exclaim, "Wow! I found this in the closet like, two seconds ago! Well, at least it wasn't in the last place I looked. The last place I looked was in the water in the toilet, and it sure as hell wasn't there!"

Once you've mastered this simple tip, you'll just say it sucks to be one of those poor fools who always finds everything they're looking for in the last place they look. But you? You're smarter! When you find something, you KEEP LOOKING! Your genius will be obvious to all.

This tip (C)opyright of "spunman". Any reproduction of this tip without prior approval from "spunman" is strictly pro-stupid-ed. Violators will be laughed at.

From: the middle | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
Lark84
My skeleton is made of creamy nougat.
Member # 1186

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posted 10-28-2004 02:39 AM      Profile for Lark84     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
That's actually very smart. I thought "Yeah, how's he gonna solve this, because stuff really *are* in the last place I look", and then you say "You always stop looking when you find them". Simple, correct. I'm surprised I haven't thought of it myself.
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MK
is somewhat large.
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posted 10-28-2004 10:40 AM      Profile for MK     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Peggy Hill: They're always in the last place you look, because once you find them, there's no reason to keep looking.
Hank sighs

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even my mother thinks i'm an idiot

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Gary Oak
Farting Nudist
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posted 10-30-2004 10:42 AM      Profile for Gary Oak     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Because it more literally means last place you'd THINK to look.

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"You think it is done, you think all is well. Well kiss my green ass I shall see you in hell."

AIM: GRISH81

From: Roselle, Illinois | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
spunman
Farting Nudist
Member # 1181

posted 11-01-2004 09:04 PM      Profile for spunman        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You mean LESS literally.
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Cesar
Farting Nudist
Member # 529

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posted 11-03-2004 01:11 AM      Profile for Cesar   Email Cesar   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
But what if you stopped looking and found it later in a completely different place? Then it would be the last place you look.
From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged
spunman
Farting Nudist
Member # 1181

posted 11-05-2004 08:54 PM      Profile for spunman        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Your argument is completely flawed. You said "stopped looking" and then you said "look". How you can even make sense to yourself amazes me. Obviously, for it to be ANYPLACE you look, it would obviously have to be SOMEPLACE you look. Therefore, if you find it ANYWHERE, you obviously haven't STOPPED LOOKING. Otherwise, you wouldn't have found it. Happenstance is not a choice. Either you're looking for it, or you aren't. Either way, you find, and you keep looking. It's that simple. Nothing more.

Is this concept really that complicated? That must be why nobody thought of it before I came along, I guess.

From: the middle | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
spunman
Farting Nudist
Member # 1181

posted 11-06-2004 11:51 AM      Profile for spunman        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Heh, I said "obviously" twice in one sentence.

My apologies for the drunken reply. The answer is in there, but the post overall wasn't very nice. Actually sounds like I was upset, which never really happens.

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DoomMullet
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posted 11-06-2004 08:34 PM      Profile for DoomMullet     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I just can't believe this thread hasn't died a horrible and justified death yet

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What kind of a fuckass fuck of a bumfuck shithole town is this?

From: fondling your balls, don't you feel that? | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
spunman
Farting Nudist
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posted 11-07-2004 02:34 AM      Profile for spunman        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
DoomMullet: I just can't believe this thread hasn't died a horrible and justified death yet
Thank you for your contribution (post) to keep this thread at the top of the page. Now stop posting.

From: the middle | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
DoomMullet
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posted 11-07-2004 01:14 PM      Profile for DoomMullet     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
will do

ah, shit

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What kind of a fuckass fuck of a bumfuck shithole town is this?

From: fondling your balls, don't you feel that? | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Mr. K
Racist
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posted 11-08-2004 10:42 AM      Profile for Mr. K   Author's Homepage   Email Mr. K   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Wait, but if you stop looking entirely, then the thing isn't in the last place you looked.

A-ha!

From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Dark_Herakurosu
Farting Nudist
Member # 1677

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posted 11-09-2004 09:30 AM      Profile for Dark_Herakurosu   Author's Homepage   Email Dark_Herakurosu   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 


[ 11-09-2004, 09:31 AM: Message edited by: Dark_Herakurosu ]

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White Cat
Nobody knows why I'm an admin.
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posted 11-10-2004 12:38 AM      Profile for White Cat   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I finally know how to spell "endubitably".

Edit: Apparently I don't, because it's actually spelled "indubitably".

[ 11-10-2004, 12:40 AM: Message edited by: White Cat ]

From: Calgary | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
spunman
Farting Nudist
Member # 1181

posted 11-11-2004 12:08 AM      Profile for spunman        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Mr. K: Wait, but if you stop looking entirely, then the thing isn't in the last place you looked.
A-ha!


Your argument is a correct one, sir. But you've overlooked one of the greatest benefits of my idea. In breaking the letter of the law, so to speak, you've failed to break it's spirit.

If you continue to look for something after you've found it, you HAVE found it. If you desist prior to finding it, you have NOT found it. Here is where our ideas differ, and it is up to our gentle (maybe) readers to determine which process is more beneficial to them.

But, I guess, if you didn't really want whatever you were looking for anyway, that's okay, too. So you're idea IS a viable option, under certain circumstances.

'scuse me. I farted.

From: the middle | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mr. K
Racist
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posted 11-11-2004 03:14 PM      Profile for Mr. K   Author's Homepage   Email Mr. K   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You make an excellent point. I think we might have to re-examine what it means to "lose" something in the first place. If you don't want something back, is it really lost?

What if you throw something in the trash, and then later you want it back?

From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
spunman
Farting Nudist
Member # 1181

posted 11-11-2004 11:28 PM      Profile for spunman        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Because I farted? *looks above* Oh, yes, there WAS some kind of silly discussion going on, wasn't there? I DO so love this place.

Well, the current Webster's (unabridged) lists 12 different sub-definitions for the first verbal definition of "lose". Many things, of course, can fall under several of these 12 categories. But, from my personal interpretation, with all 12 sub-definitions in mind:

Whether or not you want something back, it is still lost.

If you even deliberately throw something away, you have, by definition, lost it. This pertains whether you want it back or not.

As for redefining "lost", that would mean adding a 13th sub-definition. 13 WAS my lucky number, until the 13th of April this year, which is the day my wife left me. That, unfortunately, forces me into a form of conformation with the general public. Oh, woe! No longer am I "uniquely rebellious, yet quiet & nice". No, now I'm just another dumb, suspicious rube who thinks it's best NOT to add another sub-definition, merely to avoid a 13th. Not that I believe 13 is unlucky, but the number does now nauseate me on occasion.

I think I'm making too much sense with all this. It's SUPPOSED to be silly, y'know. It's supposed to make people laugh. Laughing is good.

From: the middle | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mr. K
Racist
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posted 11-12-2004 03:08 PM      Profile for Mr. K   Author's Homepage   Email Mr. K   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
As Bobcat said, I didn't lose my job... I know where my job is. It's just, when I go there, there's this new guy doing it.
From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged


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