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Author
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Topic: stupid movie and terrible comic discussion
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veloS
8=D~~O:
Member # 2636
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posted 05-28-2004 10:37 AM
Penny Arcade made a funny one!!! IT'S A MIRACLE!!!
Face it, Troy is one of the worst films of the last 5 years. Yes, even worse than van Helsing. So, please. Be my guest and discuss/bash away.
(What also pissed me off, is that my girl couldn't stop drooling at all those buff bodies ![[Mad]](mad.gif) . All I could say was: "At least I'm buffer than Orlando Bloom...")
[ 06-01-2004, 01:32 AM: Message edited by: Mr. K ]
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www.mightyrhapsody.com
From: Amsterdam | Registered: Feb 2002
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SDShamshel
Farting Nudist
Member # 791
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posted 05-28-2004 12:03 PM
Nothing is worse than Van Helsing.
The mere fact that you said Van Helsing is better than Troy must mean you watch movies with your eyes closed or are too busy looking at your girlfriend or something.
In other words, no.
Troy was actually a good movie. I liked how there was no established main character.
[ 05-28-2004, 12:05 PM: Message edited by: SDShamshel ]
From: Tokyo-3 | Registered: Aug 2000
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MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445
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posted 05-28-2004 04:27 PM
quote:
Originally posted by SDShamshel:
Nothing is worse than Van Helsing.
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BigCheese
Farting Nudist
Member # 1479
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posted 05-28-2004 07:46 PM
Van Helsing sucked so badly.
Troy I could tolerate. I hated the typical hollywood sex-selling crap they used, but some parts of the story I actually thought were cool.
I liked how they portrayed the movie as if there we two sides, not a good and a bad side, just two sides fighting.
I dunno, I thought it was decent.
Worse movies than Van Helsing:
Alien Resurrection
Kung-Pow: Enter the First
Matrix Revolutions (especially considering it was the end of a trilogy)
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I have a nice butt!
From: The land of milk and honey...and cheese | Registered: Jan 2001
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FlameBait
Farting Nudist
Member # 235
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posted 05-28-2004 10:12 PM
quote:
Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist
If I could rate you a -10000000, I would.
[ 05-28-2004, 10:13 PM: Message edited by: FlameBait ]
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"The preceding post may have contained profanity, obscenity, racial slurs, and/or evidence of spamming. By reading this statement, you devoid the right to warn/ban the user based on the above post."
From: Nashville, TN, USA | Registered: Apr 2000
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MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445
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posted 05-28-2004 10:47 PM
quote:
Originally posted by FlameBait:
quote:
Kung-Pow: Enter the Fist
If I could rate you a -10000000, I would.
Ditto but for the third matrix movie...
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Dweedle
My hands and feet are mangos
Member # 1209
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posted 05-29-2004 12:52 AM
I really liked how they did Troy. Their interpretation of the story was awesome, in my opinion. It just makes you think about how a story could change over time and be fabricated. The way the movie told the story was like the beginning of a game of telephone, and the Iliad was what came out at the end. Also Brad Pitt was badass. All in all I thought it was a pretty good movie.
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the only way to get pass this will be to commit suicune
From: second of all, Quagmire's not really a bad guy! | Registered: Nov 2000
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EspeonNidoking
warcraft 3
Member # 2028
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posted 05-29-2004 01:26 AM
van helsing was fun to watch.
it wasn't a seriously good movie but i really liked watching it.
dunno why people are making it sound like it was a shitty ass film, cuz it really wasn't.
i came out of the theatre and i didn't feel i wasted a ticket, so it wasn't a shitty movie imo.
troy wasn't as good as the braveheart/last samurai/gladiator movies.
not even close so =o!
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"Yeah, my pubic hair has dollar signs trimmed in it!
$$Bling Bling$$" ~Jman
From: Summit,New Jersey, Tampa, Fl, and Rindge, NH | Registered: Jul 2001
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veloS
8=D~~O:
Member # 2636
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posted 05-29-2004 09:31 AM
Please no. Have you people even read the Iliad??? Everything that made that book teh 00ber was left out in this boring piece of shit called Troy.
The most beautiful girl in the world, the judgment of Paris, an immortal hero, gods intervening (sp?), a 10-year war... All that was flushed down the toilet in this movie. And the acting was horrible.
At least van Helsing had very nice females, a nice (but standard) score and lovely landscapes. Troy sucked in every possible way. When the music started, I thought I was seeing "The Passion..." all over again. And was THAT supposed to be the most beautiful woman evar? If that's so, then I've been screwing Venus herself the last 2 years (don't get me wrong though, my girl IS a hottie).
And I can go on, like, 10 more pages about the suckiness of Troy. But hey, my Metagross wants me to unshadow his metal ass.
EDIT: Funny how nobody bitched about Penny Arcade yet.
[ 05-29-2004, 09:33 AM: Message edited by: veloS ]
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From: Amsterdam | Registered: Feb 2002
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Clicky Pensi
Captain Fag of the Fags from Planet Fag
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posted 05-29-2004 09:33 AM
I'm curious as to why people think Van Helsing sucked. In my opinion, if you watched it for plot, then you sure as hell watched it for the wrong reasons.
Troy I cannot yet comment upon, though i'd like that to be the next thing I see.
How about The Day After Tomorrow? Parts of that were OK, and parts of it made me want to rip my eyeballs out of my sockets, do a little dance on them, and then shoot aforementioned sockets.
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Chumble spuzz.
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veloS
8=D~~O:
Member # 2636
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posted 05-29-2004 09:45 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Clicky Pensi:
I'm curious as to why people think Van Helsing sucked. In my opinion, if you watched it for plot, then you sure as hell watched it for the wrong reasons.
I didn't watch it for the plot. (Although it annoyed my ass off, why the fuck are people throwing in werewolves in vampireflicks the last couple of years? Only Underworld made a decent-mediocre film about werewolves-vampires)
However, all the other things I did watch it for, failed horribly too. Don't get me started about the atrocious CGI (Mr. Hyde, wtf? We're like living in 2004 people!).
And I normally love Beckinsale, and I'm also a pretty big fan of 'Wolverine' too... But man, it felt as if they just didn't wanted to make the darn film. Their acting was pretty bad. And Kate was way too covered. The brides were sexier than her, and IMHO that's not a good thing.
Also, the "I-go-through-hell-but-my-make-up-doesn't-smudge-at-all" factor, was way too high. It made me so fokking pissed that Kate was thrown all over the place, gets hit a couple of times, gets wet, shocked, burned and yet she keeps that supermodel face-and-hair. Also, The cable-swinging sequence (where she had to catch the werewolf-antidote while swinging like Tarzan) was too fucking ridiculous for words man.
Now let me finish Mt. Battle, dammit.
[ 05-29-2004, 09:47 AM: Message edited by: veloS ]
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From: Amsterdam | Registered: Feb 2002
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SDShamshel
Farting Nudist
Member # 791
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posted 05-29-2004 10:12 AM
Nothing in Van Helsing makes a LICK of sense. Not the plot, not the designs, not the fight scenes, NOTHING.
OF COURSE! THE WEAKNESS OF VAMPIRES IS WEREWOLVES!
The vampire hunter could not stop that Dracula minion who can teleport around and move blindlingly fast! Surely a clumsier, slower moving adversary will stop her!
WEREWOLVES!
Also, veloS, way to miss the point of Troy.
The point was to remove the myths and anything that could be interpeted as super natural, as Dweedle said, showing how a story could be changed over time to enter mythic proportions.
If you were expecting to see Zeus and Apollo walking around, then there are 5 million other Iliad movies you can watch.
Penny Arcade wasn't making fun of the movie for being bad. It was showing how odd Gabe is. Notice the frown on Tycho's face?
I really should not be explaining a 3-panel comic.
[ 05-29-2004, 10:16 AM: Message edited by: SDShamshel ]
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Pretty de Cure Cure
Futari wa Precure
From: Tokyo-3 | Registered: Aug 2000
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veloS
8=D~~O:
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posted 05-29-2004 10:31 AM
Nothing in Van Helsing makes a LICK of sense. Not the plot, not the designs, not the fight scenes, NOTHING.
OF COURSE! THE WEAKNESS OF VAMPIRES IS WEREWOLVES!
The vampire hunter could not stop that Dracula minion who can teleport around and move blindlingly fast! Surely a clumsier, slower moving adversary will stop her!
WEREWOLVES!
On this, I agree.
Also, veloS, way to miss the point of Troy.
The point was to remove the myths and anything that could be interpeted as super natural, as Dweedle said, showing how a story could be changed over time to enter mythic proportions.
Fuck that. The movie sucked. Not only on that level, but technically as well, IMHO. And they didn't just leave the gods out, shellboy. They changed everything! Besides, there were so many interesting characters, but due to the lack of time (sine it had to fit in 1 movie), none of the characters were worked out right. Not even Hektor or Achilles got the credit they deserved. And Odysseus and Ajax, my favourite characters, were like almost neglected completely! Way to fuck up a perfectly good epic, you mean.
If you were expecting to see Zeus and Apollo walking around, then there are 5 million other Iliad movies you can watch.
Like I said, it's not just that. And don't you worry, I've seen a lot of those movies. And they were all better than Troy.
Penny Arcade wasn't making fun of the movie for being bad. It was showing how odd Gabe is. Notice the frown on Tycho's face?
![[Razz]](tongue.gif) Maybe it was saying both.
I really should not be explaining a 3-panel comic
Ooooohhh. Are you too good for that?
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From: Amsterdam | Registered: Feb 2002
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Dweedle
My hands and feet are mangos
Member # 1209
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posted 05-29-2004 01:56 PM
quote:
Originally posted by veloS:
Please no. Have you people even read the Iliad??? Everything that made that book teh 00ber was left out in this boring piece of shit called Troy.
The most beautiful girl in the world, the judgment of Paris, an immortal hero, gods intervening (sp?), a 10-year war... All that was flushed down the toilet in this movie. And the acting was horrible.
That was the whole point of the movie. They didn't want to have any of that stuff in there. They wanted to tell the story as if it really happened, not like it happened in the Iliad. I mean, did you even notice how Achilles wasn't invincible? Did you notice how Achilles's mother didn't look like Aprodite? If you're criticizing these sort of changes they made to the story you obviously missed the entire point of the movie.
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the only way to get pass this will be to commit suicune
From: second of all, Quagmire's not really a bad guy! | Registered: Nov 2000
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Lark84
My skeleton is made of creamy nougat.
Member # 1186
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posted 05-29-2004 02:00 PM
Van Helsing was decent. Troy sucked ass.
I can't put my finger on why Troy sucked, but it was just... boring. I didn't sympathize at all with any of the characters, the sentimental, slow scenes were just plain boring and the battle scenes, while executed with great technical skill, were still boring.
Van Helsing, on the other hand, had some bright moments, for example the Q-like qualities of Gabriels sidekick, and the action was enough to keep me from wanting to go home, which I wanted to do about halfway through Troy.
SDShamshel has some good points about inaccuracies, or stuff just plain wrong in the film, but I'm willing to let that slide.
Spoiler!
What annoyed the shit out of me in van Helsing tohugh, was when he shot his hook into the chest of mr. Hyde while falling from the tower, to stop his fall. Anyone knows that this won't work unless mr. Hyde is firmly fixed to the ground he stands on - were this for real, van Helsing would just pull Hyde with him, and they'd both die.
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Thomas
Farting Nudist
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posted 05-29-2004 02:22 PM
veloS argument sounds as though he read three reviews and is merely regurgitating them to seem cooler than he actually is. not really mentioning the movie in detail merely adds to this.
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Mr. K
Racist
Member # 2
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posted 05-29-2004 03:44 PM
I haven't seen either of these movies, but the Van Helsing thing was in part an homage to all the great Universal monsters (Frankstein, Dracula, Werewolf).
I suppose they've gotten 3 movies out of the Mummy lately, so I guess he wasn't in there.
If they'd had the Gillman, I might have had to go see it, tho.
Also I heard Brad Pitt vs. Hector was a good fight. Was it?
From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000
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Slade_64
chipmunk pr0n author
Member # 804
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posted 05-29-2004 06:02 PM
Van Helsing is right up there with League of Extrodinary Men; which isn't saying much.
Troy was rip-off gladiator type movie. But better than Van Helsing; which isn't saying much, again.
Can't wait till Underworld 2.
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Bucket.
From: Funky Town Texas | Registered: Aug 2000
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Mentar the Malady Monkey
worst username ever
Member # 1182
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posted 05-29-2004 11:24 PM
You have seriously got to be fucking braindead to say Troy was worse than van Helsing. Honestly.
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WHAT.
From: Pandemonium, HL, Hades | Registered: Nov 2000
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SDShamshel
Farting Nudist
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posted 05-31-2004 11:07 PM
In conclusion veloS is simply upset that Troy isn't the Iliad word for word.
From: Tokyo-3 | Registered: Aug 2000
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Anthrax
Ultimate Authoritative Power in the Universe
Member # 335
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posted 05-31-2004 11:53 PM
what the hell is going on with the hulks pinky
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She told The Associated Press she first realized her son was mentally ill in 1996 when he killed her oldest child, a 25-year-old woman who suffered from cerebral palsy, by beating her with a dumbbell.
From: Somebody put shit in my pants! | Registered: Apr 2000
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MewtwoSama
Asshole
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posted 06-01-2004 12:24 AM
I hate this thread because it does not deliver world news, it only delivers some crappy web comic and stupid movie discussion.
This thread should be renamed "stupid movie discussion" so I can stop thinking Russia blew up something when I click this thread.
From: Abyss of Evil | Registered: Feb 2000
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veloS
8=D~~O:
Member # 2636
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posted 06-02-2004 10:16 AM
Sama, don't give me that. This is Karp Park.
@Mentar: No. I didn't fall asleep during van Helsing.
@SDShamshel: ![[Confused]](confused.gif)
@Slade_64: Roger that.
@Thomas: Ehm, I hadn't read reviews at that point. But what details did you want to hear?
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Mr. K
Racist
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posted 06-02-2004 10:22 AM
From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000
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