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Topic: A doctorate in eeEEEeeeville...

cfalcon
OLDNBLD
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posted 01-26-2004 01:05 PM $Profile for cfalcon$ $Email cfalcon$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story&cid=540&e=9&u=/ap/20040126/ap_on_re_mi_ea/austria_ashcroft_1

The relevant quote, from Ashcroft:

"Weapons of mass destruction including evil chemistry and evil biology are all matters of great concern,..."

Evil Chemistry.

Evil Biology.

I need the textbooks for those two motherfuckers.

I think he's neglecting Evil Mathematics, though. You know, it's kind of hard to differentiate evil mathematics from other mathematics, so I'm just thinking, you know, by the power of some new legislation, BOOKS INTO THE FIRE.

Heh heh.

Evil.

Thanks, motherfucker.

The whole artictle is pretty good too.

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Psybro
Half Psyduck. Half Slowbro. All cop.
Member # 290

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posted 01-26-2004 03:33 PM $Profile for Psybro$ $Email Psybro$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

This is awesome but there are people who will actually stand up and say 'Why does the world mock the Bush administration?' even after this.

For fuck's sake, he said evil chemistry.

From: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged

Donald
Bob the Builder
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posted 01-26-2004 03:44 PM $Profile for Donald$ $Email Donald$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Evil Chemistry?

Well, I know my elective credit for next year... I gotta get me some of this.

From: In your girl's panties | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

cfalcon
OLDNBLD
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posted 01-26-2004 03:44 PM $Profile for cfalcon$ $Email cfalcon$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I'm actually torn as to which one is the most retarded. I think "Evil Biology" has to take it, because, even though there are nasty biological weapons, he just said "Evil Study Of Life", which is fuckdiculous.

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445

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posted 01-26-2004 06:06 PM $Profile for MK$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

If they teach a chemistry class in Iraq and the ONLY thing they teach is the parts of chemistry that are destrutive and how to do aforementioned things, such as make anthrax and make nuclear bombs and then how to USE them, then it IS evil chemistry [Razz]

Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged

cfalcon
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posted 01-26-2004 07:31 PM $Profile for cfalcon$ $Email cfalcon$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Ok, no.

Chemistry cannot be evil.

Look, let's say I tell you how to punch someone, because, I dunno, you don't know how to make a fist or anything. Just go with the example: I tell you how to kill people with your hands.

Is that evil? All that knowledge can be used for is to hurt people!

No, it is not evil. Even hurting people can be used for good purposes, notably, to defend people.

Can you give me any part of chemistry or biology that has no "legitimate" use? Because it's actually much harder than my example to find any knowledge that has no use except to hurt people in any real aspects of science.

More importantly, let's go back to your quote:

If they teach a chemistry class in Iraq and the ONLY thing they teach is the parts of chemistry that are destrutive and how to do aforementioned things, such as make anthrax and make nuclear bombs and then how to USE them, then it IS evil chemistry

Ok, first off, nuclear weapons would be "evil physics" (by definition, chemistry stops at the electrons and how they interact, but recently I *have* heard the term "nuclear chemistry", so maybe that's different now), but anyway...

Let's say that *I* take a class in that stuff. Is that "evil chemistry" now that I'm using it to help out our nation somehow? Or do you finnally admit that there is no such thing as "evil knowledge" only "evil actions"?

(And even they can be dubious sometimes)

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

cfalcon
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posted 01-26-2004 07:31 PM $Profile for cfalcon$ $Email cfalcon$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

... or maybe you are joking?

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Fluorine
SMELLY BUTT
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posted 01-26-2004 07:51 PM $Profile for Fluorine$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

"evil chemistry" and "evil biology" are so obviously absurd concepts that there is no point in trying to explain why they are absurd.

If people don't get it it is our duty to just point and laugh at them.

Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged

Wintermute
My custom title sucks.
Member # 5

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posted 01-26-2004 08:11 PM $Profile for Wintermute$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Wintermute$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

You know that Twilight Zone episode where the creepy guys come and show the guy a box with a button on it? If he presses the button, he gets a million dollars, but someone he doesn't know will die. So he does it, and then the guys show up to collect the box. He wants to know what they need it for, but they reassure him, "well, we offer the box to many people. but don't worry - we'll be sure to give it to someone you don't know."

If there was a deal like that only if you press the button MK would die, would you press it? Keep in mind that afterwards they can't exactly give the box to MK and say that if he presses it you would die.

From: Winnipeg, Manitoba | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Crimzonite
Farting Nudist
Member # 307

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posted 01-26-2004 08:11 PM $Profile for Crimzonite$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

U.N. Representative: "Now, Mr. Evil ..."
Dr. Evil: "Dr. Evil! I didn't spend six years in Evil Medical School to be called 'mister',
thank you very much."

Scott: "I was thinking, I like animals. Maybe I'd be a vet."
Dr. Evil: "An evil vet?"
Scott: "No! Maybe like work in a petting zoo."
Dr. Evil: "An evil petting zoo?"

Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged

Donald
Bob the Builder
Member # 1551

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posted 01-26-2004 08:15 PM $Profile for Donald$ $Email Donald$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Toby, I think I speak for every sensible poster on this forum when I say OH HELL YEAH.

From: In your girl's panties | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

Fluorine
SMELLY BUTT
Member # 2904

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posted 01-26-2004 08:43 PM $Profile for Fluorine$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

If there was a deal like that only if you press the button MK would die, would you press it? Keep in mind that afterwards they can't exactly give the box to MK and say that if he presses it you would die.

MK is my Prozac.

Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged

ceoalex316
Time for the flaming leprosy party
Member # 338

posted 01-26-2004 11:36 PM $Profile for ceoalex316$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I just want Mk to admit he is a gimmick account so I can rely on the assumption that people can't get that simple minded.

The thought alone that MK might be a gimmick gives me hope for the future.

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Maximum Penetration Industries.

From: NYC | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged

cfalcon
OLDNBLD
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posted 01-27-2004 01:51 AM $Profile for cfalcon$ $Email cfalcon$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

He's for real, no gimmick.

And just for the record, I wouldn't push the button.

I still want to know if he was joking in this thread, though.

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Subject: Ninja and Opensource

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

White Cat
Nobody knows why I'm an admin.
Member # 42

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posted 01-27-2004 03:28 AM $Profile for White Cat$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Uh, it sounds like what he means is:

evil chemistry = chemistry used for evil purposes
evil biology = see above, but with biology

But my explanation makes it less funny, so it's probably wrong.

From: Calgary | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

cfalcon
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posted 01-27-2004 03:57 AM $Profile for cfalcon$ $Email cfalcon$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Right, but that's ridiculous.

That's like saying that a bad guy coming at you with a sword is "evil dynamics", and when guerrilla warriors attack our troops they are engaging in "evil ballistics", and when someone translates something with ill intentions it is "evil linguistics".

In any case, the use of chemistry for "evil purposes" is evil. Not evil chemistry. When a bomb blows up, the it wasn't made of evil steel in an evil factory by the evil workers with their evil machines: the evil, if any, occurred when the person with the "blow people up" button pressed it, and even that might be simplifying things a bit much- because you're still calling someone evil.

Is that what Ashcroft meant? Obviously. But that is so ponderously stupid to defy mortal comprehension- and it also opens the door to talk about banning that "evil biology".

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Thomaz
Farting Nudist
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posted 01-27-2004 04:06 AM $Profile for Thomaz$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Thomaz$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

d00ds, that's evil.

[ 01-27-2004, 04:09 AM: Message edited by: Thomaz ]

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Nothing.

From: Netherlands | Registered: Apr 2003 | IP: Logged

Rei the Giant Koffing
Farting Nudist
Member # 1909

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posted 01-27-2004 04:30 AM $Profile for Rei the Giant Koffing$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Donald:
Toby, I think I speak for every sensible poster on this forum when I say OH HELL YEAH.

Did you ever fix that evil FAQ? [Embarrassed]

With love,

Rei

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LightningFlik and Fephisto's crappy Webcomics:
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From: Americas b0rked penis | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged

Mr. K
Racist
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posted 01-27-2004 07:07 AM $Profile for Mr. K$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Mr. K$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I would be in favor of MK elimination related program activity.

From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Jman
Farting Nudist
Member # 618

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posted 01-27-2004 09:53 PM $Profile for Jman$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I would be only if it were an evil MK elimination related program activity.

GOTTA CATCH 'EM ALL.

From: da burgh | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged

Twinkle
I'm feeling fat and sassy~!
Member # 1690

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posted 01-28-2004 01:12 AM $Profile for Twinkle$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

It is times like these that I pray for some evil astrophysics to happen.

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Hich loch faauto noxlattoyen.

From: Brinstar | Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged

Slade_64
chipmunk pr0n author
Member # 804

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posted 01-28-2004 01:22 AM $Profile for Slade_64$ $Email Slade_64$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Evil Sex Ed anyone?

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Bucket.

From: Funky Town Texas | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged

ceoalex316
Time for the flaming leprosy party
Member # 338

posted 01-28-2004 02:22 AM $Profile for ceoalex316$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I hit my hand agianst the wall.

Evil physics?

From: NYC | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged

cfalcon
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posted 01-28-2004 04:54 AM $Profile for cfalcon$ $Email cfalcon$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I dunno, that could be an application of Evil Anatomy, Evil Kinesthetics, or Evil Masonry.

Was it your left hand? I hear those are more sinister...

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Donald
Bob the Builder
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posted 01-28-2004 06:16 PM $Profile for Donald$ $Email Donald$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Did you ever fix that evil FAQ?

You're the only one that ever complained about it.

From: In your girl's panties | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

137
Whiner
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posted 01-29-2004 07:08 PM $Profile for 137$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

ahahaha anthrax and nuclear bombs are chemistry

From: Space. Like, outer space. | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged

cfalcon
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posted 01-29-2004 07:55 PM $Profile for cfalcon$ $Email cfalcon$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Well, to his credit, he was probably calling bioweapons "evil biology", not "evil chemistry".

See, evil biology is taught by Doktor Pinhate, a lanky man with twitchy eyes and a stutter, who spends late nights trying to crossbreed elk and hamsters- such an abomination would take away the joy of the outdoors for many, with bizarre grazers cutting down trees with teeth that never stop growing. His maniacal laugh is a shrill HeeeEeeeEeeeEEEEE.

But evil chemistry is taught by Commander Malefance, whose portly stride is feared in all corners of the globe that recognize the monocled demon. Pasty and always out of breath, and forever garbed in posh suits that went out of style sixty years ago, he is running a secret war against round objects, trying to break the world down into its natural jagged components. His tool: EVIL CHEMISTRY. His maniacal laugh is Ha..HA...HAHAHA...HAAHAAHAAHAAHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!1!!

He pronounces the "1".

Both of them are shitty profs, though, and if you're late for just one test they'll fail you. I suggest you go for Evil Gymnastics, because at least Ms. Bendrite is fucking hot.

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Fenix
I live in a public bathroom.
Member # 2371

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posted 01-29-2004 09:30 PM $Profile for Fenix$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Fenix$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Bendrite

[PBJ Time!]

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life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery

From: The Homeworld, Aiur | Registered: Nov 2001 | IP: Logged

Atma
Farting Nudist
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posted 01-30-2004 12:41 AM $Profile for Atma$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I will side with evil biology. Out of the millions of hentai movies, there has to be at least one where the tentacle beast was created through evil biology, and everyone likes tentacle beasts sneaking into girl-only schools. [Eek!]

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"My name is Atma...
I am pure energy... and as ancient as the cosmos.
Forgotten in the river of time...
I've had an eternity to ponder the meaning of things...
And now I have an answer..."

From: Cinnabar Isle, Long Island, NY | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged

Thomas
Farting Nudist
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posted 01-30-2004 12:58 AM $Profile for Thomas$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Cease posting.

Registered: May 2003 | IP: Logged

cfalcon
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posted 01-30-2004 02:40 AM $Profile for cfalcon$ $Email cfalcon$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

with wit like mine you'd think I'd have a motherfucking clyde

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

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