The Azure Heights Forum: Make a funnie and get a 5

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Topic: Make a funnie and get a 5

TeLeFonE
X-treme rotary telephone
Member # 2293

Member Rated:

posted 01-19-2004 08:23 PM $Profile for TeLeFonE$ $Email TeLeFonE$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Ready. Go.

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fuck this username is gay

Registered: Oct 2001 | IP: Logged

NintendoLover
I'm much dumber in actuality than I pretend to be.
Member # 3138

Member Rated:

posted 01-19-2004 09:08 PM $Profile for NintendoLover$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

hey

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I love Nintendo!

Registered: Nov 2002 | IP: Logged

Mentar the Malady Monkey
worst username ever
Member # 1182

Member Rated:

posted 01-19-2004 09:32 PM $Profile for Mentar the Malady Monkey$ $Email Mentar the Malady Monkey$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

courtesy of http://bash.org

<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks?
<TheXPhial> vaccuums
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what sucks in a metaphorical sense?
<TheXPhial> black holes
<Guo_Si> Hey, you know what just isn't cool?
<TheXPhial> lava?

<JonJonB> Purely in the interests of science, I have replaced the word "wand" with "wang" in the first Harry Potter Book
<JonJonB> Let's see the results...

<JonJonB> "Why aren't you supposed to do magic?" asked Harry.
<JonJonB> "Oh, well -- I was at Hogwarts meself but I -- er -- got expelled, ter tell yeh the truth. In me third year. They snapped me wang in half an' everything

<JonJonB> A magic wang... this was what Harry had been really looking forward to.

<JonJonB> "Yes, yes. I thought I'd be seeing you soon. Harry Potter." It wasn't a question. "You have your mother's eyes. It seems only yesterday she was in here herself, buying her first wang. Ten and a quarter inches long, swishy, made of willow. Nice wang for charm work."
<JonJonB> "Your father, on the other hand, favored a mahogany wang. Eleven inches. "

<JonJonB> Harry took the wang. He felt a sudden warmth in his fingers. He raised the wang above his head, brought it swishing down through the dusty air and a stream of red and gold sparks shot from the end like a firework, throwing dancing spots of light on to the walls

<JonJonB> "Oh, move over," Hermione snarled. She grabbed Harry's wang, tapped the lock, and whispered, 'Alohomora!"

<JonJonB> The troll couldn't feel Harry hanging there, but even a troll will notice if you stick a long bit of wood up its nose, and Harry's wang had still been in his hand when he'd jumped - it had gone straight up one of the troll's nostrils.

<JonJonB> He bent down and pulled his wang out of the troll's nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.

<JonJonB> He ran onto the field as you fell, waved his wang, and you sort of slowed down before you hit the ground. Then he whirled his wang at the dementors. Shot silver stuff at them.

<JonJonB> Ok
<JonJonB> I have found, definitive proof
<JonJonB> that J.K Rowling is a dirty DIRTY woman, making a fool of us all
<JonJonB> "Yes," Harry said, gripping his wang very tightly, and moving into the middle of the deserted classroom. He tried to keep his mind on flying, but something else kept intruding.... Any second now, he might hear his mother again... but he shouldn't think that, or he would hear her again, and he didn't want to... or did he?
<melusine > O_______O
<JonJonB> Something silver-white, something enormous, erupted from the end of his wang

<JonJonJonB> Then, with a sigh, he raised his wang and prodded the silvery substance with its tip.

<JonJonJonB> 'Get - off - me!' Harry gasped. For a few seconds they struggled, Harry pulling at his uncles sausage-like fingers with his left hand, his right maintaining a firm grip on his raised wang.

docsigma2000: jesus christ man
docsigma2000: my son is sooooooo dead
c8info: Why?
docsigma2000: hes been looking at internet web sites in fucking EUROPE
docsigma2000: HE IS SURFING LONG DISTANCE
docsigma2000: our fucking phone bill is gonna be nuts
c8info: Ooh, this is bad. Surfing long distance adds an extra $69.99 to your bill per hour.
docsigma2000: ...!!!!!! FUCK FUCK FUCK
docsigma2000: is there some plan we can sign up for???
docsigma2000: cuz theres some cool stuff in europe, but i dun wanna pauy that much
c8info: Sorry, no. There is no plan. you'll have to live with it.
docsigma2000: o well, i ccan live without europe intenet sites.
docsigma2000: but till i figure out how to block it hes sooooo dead
c8info: By the way, I'm from Europe, your chatting long distance.
** docsigma2000 has quit (Connection reset by peer)

<wolf> 1. Save every Free Credit Card Offer you get, Put it in pile A
<wolf> 2. Save every Free Coupon You get, put that in pile B
<wolf> 3. Now open the credit card mail from pile A and find the Business
Reply Mail Envelope.
<wolf> 4. Take the coupons from pile B and stuff them in the envelope you hold
in your hand.
<wolf> 5. Drop the stuffed to the brim envelopes in your mail and walk away
whistling.
<wolf> I have now received two phone calls from the credit card companies
telling me that they received a stuffed envelope with coupons rather
then my application. They informed me that it they are not pleased that
they footed the bill for the crap I sent them. I reply with "It says
Business Reply Mail" I'm suggesting coupons to you to ensure that your
business is more successful. They promptly hang up on me.
<wolf> Now, I did this for about a month before it got boring, so I got an
added idea! I added exactly 33 cents worth of pennies to the envelope
so they paid EXTRA due to the weight. I got a call informing me about
the money, I said it was a mistake and I demanded my change back. After
yelling at the clerk and then to the supervisor they agreed to my
demands and cut me a check for the money. I hold in my hand at this
very moment a check from GTE Visa for exactly 33 cents.

<NES> lol
<NES> I download something from Napster
<NES> And the same guy I downloaded it from starts downloading it from me when I'm done
<NES> I message him and say "What are you doing? I just got that from you"
<NES> "getting my song back fucker"

<Fenris> My mom found me perusing bash.org and looking up quotes about incest, and was like OMG!
<Fenris> Now she actually goes there regularly to make sure there aren't any new text words that have been searched for
<Fenris> I saw her looking at the site yesterday, and was like, "WTF??"
<Fenris> And she said she was just checking to see what kind of stuff I look at online.
<Fenris> I swear, someday I'm just going to rape that bitch.
<ctone> ...
<ctone> now theres a quote for bash.org
<Fenris> Don't you fucking dare.

<h|tler> HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU TELL THAT I'M 13 BY LOOKING AT WHAT I'M WRITEING?????????????????????????????????????????????????????

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WHAT.

From: Pandemonium, HL, Hades | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

Ikuse
Farting Nudist
Member # 3037

Member Rated:

posted 01-19-2004 10:02 PM $Profile for Ikuse$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Ikuse$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

What does a crazy person take to get through the forest?

A psychopath!

Why should you knock before opening your refridgerator?

Because the salad may be dressing!

From: In my pants. | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged

Donald
Bob the Builder
Member # 1551

Member Rated:

posted 01-19-2004 10:07 PM $Profile for Donald$ $Email Donald$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Ikuse gets a 5*

* negative

From: In your girl's panties | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

Ikuse
Farting Nudist
Member # 3037

Member Rated:

posted 01-19-2004 10:49 PM $Profile for Ikuse$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Ikuse$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

shut up that was comedy gold [Mad]

From: In my pants. | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged

Random Loser
Farting Nudist
Member # 1538

Member Rated:

posted 01-19-2004 10:57 PM $Profile for Random Loser$ $Email Random Loser$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Alright, alright, so I say "Knock Knock", aight? And then you, you say, "Who's There?" cause, I mean, that's how knock knock jokes go, ya know? And it's not funny if ya don't play along, ya know? So I'm like, "Cargo". And you're thinkin, wtf? Cargo? How in hell is this gonna be funny... but you play along anyway, and you're like "Alright, Cargo who?" And I'm all like "Cargo BEEP BEEP!!!", ya know like the horn on the car? goes BEEP BEEP!!? Damn I'm funny, I crack myself up...

From: Uni of Virginny | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

ceoalex316
Time for the flaming leprosy party
Member # 338

posted 01-19-2004 11:27 PM $Profile for ceoalex316$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Donald:
Ikuse gets a 5*

* negative

See I would have been your father but the guy in front of me had exact change.

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Maximum Penetration Industries.

From: NYC | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged

cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

Member Rated:

posted 01-19-2004 11:42 PM $Profile for cfalcon$ $Email cfalcon$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

3M did pretty good there.

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Ikuse
Farting Nudist
Member # 3037

Member Rated:

posted 01-19-2004 11:45 PM $Profile for Ikuse$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Ikuse$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

He didn't make them. He took them.

From: In my pants. | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged

Slade_64
chipmunk pr0n author
Member # 804

Member Rated:

posted 01-20-2004 12:53 AM $Profile for Slade_64$ $Email Slade_64$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

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Bucket.

From: Funky Town Texas | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged

MewtwoSama
Asshole
Member # 12

Member Rated:

posted 01-20-2004 01:11 AM $Profile for MewtwoSama$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email MewtwoSama$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I agree with Slade, kill thread plz.

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Hade ni ikuze!

From: Abyss of Evil | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Mr.E
Farting Nudist
Member # 696

Member Rated:

posted 01-21-2004 01:05 AM $Profile for Mr.E$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Why do they call it Ovaltine? The mug is round. The jar is round. They should call it Roundtine!

That's gold Jerry! GOLD!

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MickHale18: nevermind, I'll pull out for a second
MickHale18: *pulls out finger*

From: Munchkin Land, Oz | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged

gruco
I am Ian Garvey's lovechild.
Member # 1645

Member Rated:

posted 01-21-2004 04:59 PM $Profile for gruco$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Oh, so John Kerry was a Vietnam vet, huh? John Kerry was a Vietnam Vet!!!

Well who's in Vietnam now, BIATCH?!! Yeeeeeeeeehhhaaaaaaawwwwwww!!!!

*note that I cannot take credit for this work

From: Clock Town | Registered: Mar 2001 | IP: Logged

MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445

Member Rated:

posted 01-21-2004 05:33 PM $Profile for MK$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Does anyone have an image of the real picture above, unedited, where he blows his brains out?

Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged

Carro
Farting Nudist
Member # 2695

Member Rated:

posted 01-21-2004 06:32 PM $Profile for Carro$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I am gonna tell a story.

The format =

:Me is refering to me.

:Friend is refering to my friend.

Easy enough

Me-So I dont really know what religion I am, any suggestions?

Friend-WTF?

Me-Maybe I am jewish?

Friend-You arent jewish, you idolize Hitler.

Me-.........Oh yeah.

Twas fun.

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Its like a koala bear crapped a raibow on my brain!

From: Hotspot! | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged

Fenix
I live in a public bathroom.
Member # 2371

Member Rated:

posted 01-21-2004 07:28 PM $Profile for Fenix$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Fenix$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Its like a koala bear crapped a raibow on my brain!

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life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery

From: The Homeworld, Aiur | Registered: Nov 2001 | IP: Logged

Artie Cuno
Linkin125473457539
Member # 1205

Member Rated:

posted 01-21-2004 08:36 PM $Profile for Artie Cuno$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

*He who shall not be named*: I believe it's Mariku's turn, unless she's not going to continue.
MageOfDarksGirl: Mariku? Your go.
MarikusAngel: i was playing slime forest
MageOfDarksGirl: Aaa.
MarikusAngel: thanks for insulting me cock licker
MageOfDarksGirl: XD hard, but addictive.
MageOfDarksGirl: I MEANT THE GAME
MageOfDarksGirl: THE GAME
MageOfDarksGirl: OH GOD
MageOfDarksGirl: BAD BAD BAD TIMING
*He who shall not be named*: Very.
*He who shall not be named*: *is laughing out loud*

PsychoJ: Bisexual blacksmith XD that'd be amuseing... "For other young warriors in training, this fine blade would cost 30 gold pieces, but for you? 20." "Why?" "No reason >_>"

Now give me my goddamn five. =P

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Piss off not the kittens, lest they claw your balls off.

From: A box in a swamp. With your sister. | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

Donald
Bob the Builder
Member # 1551

Member Rated:

posted 01-21-2004 09:37 PM $Profile for Donald$ $Email Donald$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

<Brain> what's an orgasm?
<Brain> is it when mommy cries?

From: In your girl's panties | Registered: Feb 2001 | IP: Logged

Slade_64
chipmunk pr0n author
Member # 804

Member Rated:

posted 01-22-2004 03:15 AM $Profile for Slade_64$ $Email Slade_64$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Fenix:
Its like a koala bear crapped a raibow on my brain!

My god man, at least type the quote out right! Geez...

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Bucket.

From: Funky Town Texas | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged

Fenix
I live in a public bathroom.
Member # 2371

Member Rated:

posted 01-22-2004 06:43 AM $Profile for Fenix$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Fenix$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I copied it exactly from Carro's signature, where it is written terribly to begin with.

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life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery

From: The Homeworld, Aiur | Registered: Nov 2001 | IP: Logged

Carro
Farting Nudist
Member # 2695

Member Rated:

posted 01-22-2004 04:08 PM $Profile for Carro$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Agreed.

And it's staying that way just for you.

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Its like a koala bear crapped a raibow on my brain!

From: Hotspot! | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged

sunburnt_aphid
most boring gimmick ever
Member # 3546

Member Rated:

posted 01-22-2004 11:50 PM $Profile for sunburnt_aphid$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Slade_64:

quote:
My god man

quote:
My god

quote:
My man

quote:
god man

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I like Jessie from Team Rocket <3

From: Seattle | Registered: Oct 2003 | IP: Logged

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