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Topic: Breaking in a virgin.

The Muffin King
Farting Nudist
Member # 2240

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posted 11-11-2003 08:21 PM $Profile for The Muffin King$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Ok- so there's hot chick I plan on boning that may be a virgin. I don't want blood all over my cock, so tell me what to do.

Edit: And ironically, I will grunt and sweat.

[ 11-11-2003, 08:33 PM: Message edited by: The Muffin King ]

From: Maryland | Registered: Sep 2001 | IP: Logged

Anthrax
Ultimate Authoritative Power in the Universe
Member # 335

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posted 11-11-2003 08:52 PM $Profile for Anthrax$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Anthrax$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Wait a minute, you don't want blood all over your cock?

[Confused]

From: Somebody put shit in my pants! | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged

EspeonNidoking
warcraft 3
Member # 2028

posted 11-11-2003 09:04 PM $Profile for EspeonNidoking$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

lol

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"Yeah, my pubic hair has dollar signs trimmed in it!

$$Bling Bling$$" ~Jman

From: Summit,New Jersey, Tampa, Fl, and Rindge, NH | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged

sunburnt_aphid
most boring gimmick ever
Member # 3546

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posted 11-11-2003 09:47 PM $Profile for sunburnt_aphid$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Use a condom.

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I like Jessie from Team Rocket <3

From: Seattle | Registered: Oct 2003 | IP: Logged

FlameBait
Farting Nudist
Member # 235

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posted 11-11-2003 09:50 PM $Profile for FlameBait$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

You're scared of virgin blood? Pfft. I partake in crime scene sex with my GF.

You = lightweight.

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"The preceding post may have contained profanity, obscenity, racial slurs, and/or evidence of spamming. By reading this statement, you devoid the right to warn/ban the user based on the above post."

From: Nashville, TN, USA | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged

10,000Lb.Snorlax
loves long time.
Member # 13

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posted 11-11-2003 09:51 PM $Profile for 10,000Lb.Snorlax$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Ugh.... don't have sex with a virgin, dude...

From: Denver | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

The Muffin King
Farting Nudist
Member # 2240

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posted 11-11-2003 09:59 PM $Profile for The Muffin King$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Blood doesn't bother me too much, but if she had like a blood mustache after giving me head I think it'd be kinda freaky. Plus she might not like it.

10K: Why not?

[ 11-11-2003, 10:00 PM: Message edited by: The Muffin King ]

From: Maryland | Registered: Sep 2001 | IP: Logged

MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445

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posted 11-11-2003 10:14 PM $Profile for MK$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

You could always talk it over with her first since she is going to be majorly involved [Razz]

Confront her in the sense that you really think she is a virgin. Just kinda go like, uhh, is this gonna hurt? Etc...

For what it's worth, they do have some "marital aids" you can buy, she could get one and "Break herself" in advance so come go time we're not talkin the elevator scene from the shinin... =)

Good luck, and remember, lots of lube... LOTS of lube... and please wear a condom and make sure neither of you have any sexually transmitted diseases, we want to keep that crap at bay...

And yes, don't ph33r the virgin blood...

Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged

MewtwoSama
Asshole
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posted 11-11-2003 11:20 PM $Profile for MewtwoSama$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email MewtwoSama$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Q) how do you make a 5 year old cry twice?

A) wipe your bloody dick all over her teddy bear

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Hade ni ikuze!

From: Abyss of Evil | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Gary Oak
Farting Nudist
Member # 1028

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posted 11-12-2003 12:36 AM $Profile for Gary Oak$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Bottle the stuff, it supposedly cures HIV.

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"You think it is done, you think all is well. Well kiss my green ass I shall see you in hell."

AIM: GRISH81

From: Roselle, Illinois | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged

cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

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posted 11-12-2003 02:56 AM $Profile for cfalcon$ $Email cfalcon$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

huh huh hu hu hu hu huhuhuhuhuhuh

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Tghost
Farting Nudist
Member # 1418

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posted 11-12-2003 03:22 AM $Profile for Tghost$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Tghost$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

use something other than your cock. like a strap-on. speaking of strap-ons, has anyone noticed it is "no parts" backwards?

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My brain went on vacation and left my pancreas in charge

From: Auckland, New Zealand | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged

veloS
8=D~~O:
Member # 2636

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posted 11-12-2003 08:29 AM $Profile for veloS$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Eat her out first. Then give her some smooth, slow finger-action. After 10 minutes or so, you can be a little more rough with your fingers. After that, she will probably be a bit more loose. I never had any blood on my dick using this method on virgins.

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www.mightyrhapsody.com

From: Amsterdam | Registered: Feb 2002 | IP: Logged

Mr. K
Racist
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posted 11-12-2003 01:06 PM $Profile for Mr. K$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Mr. K$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Have a large black man bone her first.

From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
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posted 11-12-2003 08:18 PM $Profile for Land und Leute$ $Email Land und Leute$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

That happened with me and my girl. I highly suggest wearing a condom. I did, but the thing is, most of her blood just spilt on the sheets anyway. It probably just rolled off the condom. Don't worry about it too much.

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theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

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sunburnt_aphid
most boring gimmick ever
Member # 3546

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posted 11-12-2003 08:54 PM $Profile for sunburnt_aphid$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

This is why I will never have sex with a guy. I don't want MY vagina to bleed.

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I like Jessie from Team Rocket <3

From: Seattle | Registered: Oct 2003 | IP: Logged

EspeonNidoking
warcraft 3
Member # 2028

posted 11-12-2003 09:04 PM $Profile for EspeonNidoking$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

um...

-_-

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"Yeah, my pubic hair has dollar signs trimmed in it!

$$Bling Bling$$" ~Jman

From: Summit,New Jersey, Tampa, Fl, and Rindge, NH | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged

NintendoLover
I'm much dumber in actuality than I pretend to be.
Member # 3138

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posted 11-12-2003 09:59 PM $Profile for NintendoLover$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

yeah i tota--warcraft 3

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I love Nintendo!

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MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445

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posted 11-12-2003 10:25 PM $Profile for MK$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

sunburnt_aphid, pierce yourself in advance [Razz]

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Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk
Happy Good Times Fortune Happiness Happity Hocks Cat-Gonk Happifier
Member # 14

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posted 11-12-2003 11:29 PM $Profile for Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Mr. K:
Have a large black man bone her first.

quote:
Originally posted by Land und Leute:
That happened with me and my girl.

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http://www.livejournal.com/users/jetblackvalias

From: Perth, Western Australia. | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Mr.E
Farting Nudist
Member # 696

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posted 11-13-2003 01:42 AM $Profile for Mr.E$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I was thinking the same thing, and yet when I scroll further down I see Cat-Gonk has already stolen it.

[Frown]

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MickHale18: nevermind, I'll pull out for a second
MickHale18: *pulls out finger*

From: Munchkin Land, Oz | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged

Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
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posted 11-13-2003 07:52 PM $Profile for Land und Leute$ $Email Land und Leute$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk:

quote:
Originally posted by Mr. K:
Have a large black man bone her first.

quote:
Originally posted by Land und Leute:
That happened with me and my girl.

lol. I was actually referring to the fact that she bled, but props for that Cat-Gonk (and Mr. E).

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theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged

Mr.E
Farting Nudist
Member # 696

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posted 11-14-2003 12:39 AM $Profile for Mr.E$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

It's in the blood.

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MickHale18: nevermind, I'll pull out for a second
MickHale18: *pulls out finger*

From: Munchkin Land, Oz | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged

Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7

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posted 11-14-2003 01:14 AM $Profile for Rolken$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Rolken$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by sunburnt_aphid:
This is why I will never have sex with a guy. I don't want MY vagina to bleed.

That's like saying "I don't want to go to college because you have to take an entrance exam."

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[insert sig here]

From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445

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posted 11-14-2003 04:05 PM $Profile for MK$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Entrance exam LOL [Trash Koffing]

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sunburnt_aphid
most boring gimmick ever
Member # 3546

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posted 11-14-2003 05:18 PM $Profile for sunburnt_aphid$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

That's rude Rolken, you get a one.

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I like Jessie from Team Rocket <3

From: Seattle | Registered: Oct 2003 | IP: Logged

Slade_64
chipmunk pr0n author
Member # 804

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posted 11-14-2003 05:40 PM $Profile for Slade_64$ $Email Slade_64$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

So tell us, what exactlly are you going to do to avoid this??(_1_)iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiD????

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Bucket.

From: Funky Town Texas | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged

sunburnt_aphid
most boring gimmick ever
Member # 3546

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posted 11-14-2003 05:46 PM $Profile for sunburnt_aphid$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

what

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I like Jessie from Team Rocket <3

From: Seattle | Registered: Oct 2003 | IP: Logged

Dark_Herakurosu
Farting Nudist
Member # 1677

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posted 11-15-2003 02:09 AM $Profile for Dark_Herakurosu$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Dark_Herakurosu$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by MK:
You could always talk it over with her first since she is going to be majorly involved

Confront her in the sense that you really think she is a virgin. Just kinda go like, uhh, is this gonna hurt? Etc...

For what it's worth, they do have some "marital aids" you can buy, she could get one and "Break herself" in advance so come go time we're not talkin the elevator scene from the shinin... =)

Good luck, and remember, lots of lube... LOTS of lube... and please wear a condom and make sure neither of you have any sexually transmitted diseases, we want to keep that crap at bay...

And yes, don't ph33r the virgin blood...

"No sex until marriage. EVAR." - MK [PBJ Time!]

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There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged

Jman
Farting Nudist
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posted 11-15-2003 07:58 PM $Profile for Jman$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Mr. K:
Have a large black man bone her first.

I hear Jumpman is available for these sorts of things.

From: da burgh | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged

Rysto
Farting Nudist
Member # 24

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posted 11-15-2003 09:39 PM $Profile for Rysto$ $Email Rysto$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by sunburnt_aphid:
This is why I will never have sex with a guy. I don't want MY vagina to bleed.

Am I the only one who got this?

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So "a" can be any value?
-a guy in my Calculus class, on the nature of variables

From: Waterloo, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445

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posted 11-15-2003 09:56 PM $Profile for MK$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

oh, NOW I get it, that's why she's a lesbian, because a male dick will cause bleeding...

But look honey, enough lesbianin around will cause you to bleed just the same...

-MK

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Porygone
The Goatse Man
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posted 11-16-2003 01:23 AM $Profile for Porygone$ $Email Porygone$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Bah.

Usage of things like tampons can cause your hymen to break. I believe sometimes it can naturally happen without you even noticing it.

Also, insert the anal sex joke of your choice here.

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YOU'RE WINNER!

From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged

Dweedle
My hands and feet are mangos
Member # 1209

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posted 11-16-2003 01:35 AM $Profile for Dweedle$ $Email Dweedle$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

yeahn my hymen broke one time when a girl gave me head olololol

lol roliing rokcn i s th breakfast if chapmiosn

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the only way to get pass this will be to commit suicune

From: second of all, Quagmire's not really a bad guy! | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

Miko
Farting Nudist
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posted 11-16-2003 11:15 AM $Profile for Miko$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Rysto:

quote:
Originally posted by sunburnt_aphid:
This is why I will never have sex with a guy. I don't want MY vagina to bleed.
Am I the only one who got this?

If you mean "Am I the only one who realizes that her being a girl means that her vagina is going to bleed because of her period?" Then no you are not. She could be a freak though or be on birth control for some reason or other. All I know is that normal females such as myself bleed every month and it's not from sex.

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Goo goo ka choo

From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2003 | IP: Logged

sunburnt_aphid
most boring gimmick ever
Member # 3546

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posted 11-16-2003 01:34 PM $Profile for sunburnt_aphid$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Oh I forgot to tell you that I have ovarian cancer so I don't get my period.

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I like Jessie from Team Rocket <3

From: Seattle | Registered: Oct 2003 | IP: Logged

Ikuse
Farting Nudist
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posted 11-16-2003 04:27 PM $Profile for Ikuse$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Ikuse$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

evvk

From: In my pants. | Registered: Aug 2002 | IP: Logged

ceoalex316
Time for the flaming leprosy party
Member # 338

posted 11-16-2003 06:50 PM $Profile for ceoalex316$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Does this mean we can't make fun of her because she has cancer?

From: NYC | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged

Porygone
The Goatse Man
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posted 11-16-2003 07:38 PM $Profile for Porygone$ $Email Porygone$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I hope not.

I've almost got a really good joke about what hair she's missing as a result of the treatment she gets.

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YOU'RE WINNER!

From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged

Slade_64
chipmunk pr0n author
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posted 11-18-2003 12:48 PM $Profile for Slade_64$ $Email Slade_64$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

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Bucket.

From: Funky Town Texas | Registered: Aug 2000 | IP: Logged

Dark_Herakurosu
Farting Nudist
Member # 1677

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posted 08-24-2004 11:47 PM $Profile for Dark_Herakurosu$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Dark_Herakurosu$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I actually do need some help with this one. No, seriously. Whatever hasn't been said.

Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged

MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445

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posted 08-25-2004 03:15 AM $Profile for MK$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

it's all been done-uhn-uhn-uhn-uhn...

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veloS
8=D~~O:
Member # 2636

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posted 08-25-2004 07:54 AM $Profile for veloS$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Dude, follow my advice. You might think it's risky, coming from me and all, but believe me, it helps. Just remember to take your time with EVERYTHING you do to her.

Or are you too much of a pussy to eat her out?

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www.mightyrhapsody.com

From: Amsterdam | Registered: Feb 2002 | IP: Logged

DoomMullet
Farting Nudist
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posted 08-25-2004 03:15 PM $Profile for DoomMullet$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I don't understand how eating a girl out then fingering her will somehow change the fact that he will bust the shit out of her hymen on his first thrust. Unless he reaches up with his fingers real nice and gets that out of the way early on. Which will still end up in blood. So, wut?

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What kind of a fuckass fuck of a bumfuck shithole town is this?

From: fondling your balls, don't you feel that? | Registered: Apr 2003 | IP: Logged

FlameBait
Farting Nudist
Member # 235

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posted 08-25-2004 07:04 PM $Profile for FlameBait$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

May I suggest one of these:

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"The preceding post may have contained profanity, obscenity, racial slurs, and/or evidence of spamming. By reading this statement, you devoid the right to warn/ban the user based on the above post."

From: Nashville, TN, USA | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged

Mewtwo Master
Farting Nudist
Member # 2257

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posted 08-27-2004 03:55 PM $Profile for Mewtwo Master$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I think I know the girl in FlameBait's pic. [Eek!]

To avoid getting blood on your wang, you should break the hymen with a pipe or something, then suck the blood out with a vaccuum cleaner. Just a suggestion. [Cool]

Being more serious, I have no real idea what I'll do when I find myself in this situation, but since I'll probably never get a chance to fuck any girl, I'm not too worried.

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Guys in the army should wear a helmets and codpieces, to protect both heads.

From: USA | Registered: Oct 2001 | IP: Logged

pkthunder
I look like your mom.
Member # 67

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posted 08-28-2004 12:51 AM $Profile for pkthunder$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email pkthunder$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I'd seriously ask the girl if you're that worried. There's a chance she'll have already broken it when she was 13 with a tampon or something. And if she's still got it intact, maybe she'll have a suggestion or at least be able to put you at ease with an "I'm not disgusted by it. Really."

From: Broomfield, CO | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

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