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Author
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Topic: Everyone! Don't celebrate Halloween!
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Porygone
The Goatse Man
Member # 805
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posted 10-31-2003 04:05 AM
Or else!
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YOU'RE WINNER!
From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000
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Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7
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posted 10-31-2003 04:09 AM
Makes sense to me.
From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000
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Porygone
The Goatse Man
Member # 805
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posted 10-31-2003 04:16 AM
Not to me.
There's a fine line between little kids begging for candy and slaughtering a cat to appease Satan.
Furthermore, I've been under the impression that Satan will a) take on pleasing forms, and b) he doesn't directly interfere with people, merely tempt them and encourage them to do wrong.
I suppose you could argue that the trick or treating is Satan's form, but still...
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YOU'RE WINNER!
From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000
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veloS
8=D~~O:
Member # 2636
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posted 10-31-2003 11:05 AM
Chick tracts are cool. I've known them for almost 5 years now.
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www.mightyrhapsody.com
From: Amsterdam | Registered: Feb 2002
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Mr.E
Farting Nudist
Member # 696
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posted 10-31-2003 11:45 AM
Last week Saturday was our T-or-T day. Front page of the E Section in Friday's paper was titled "The EVIL Side of HALLOWEEN" in huge bold letters. ![[Frown]](frown.gif)
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MickHale18: nevermind, I'll pull out for a second
MickHale18: *pulls out finger*
From: Munchkin Land, Oz | Registered: Jul 2000
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Thomaz
Farting Nudist
Member # 3330
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posted 10-31-2003 12:09 PM
This indeed is fun. ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
Also, Velos, check your PM. :/
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Nothing.
From: Netherlands | Registered: Apr 2003
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LanderZRPG
Got a whale of a tale to tell ya, lads!
Member # 1615
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posted 10-31-2003 01:03 PM
I thought Jesus loved all?
quote:
The lord hates Halloween and its evil origin
What?
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From what we've learned, it seems like you'd prefer girls dressed in ant costumes or something... -Kazuki (Regarding tl;dr)
Owner of the Power Advantage DBZ RPG
(www.poweradvantage.net)
From: High Prairie, AB, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001
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New Guy
Farting Nudist
Member # 692
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posted 10-31-2003 01:20 PM
Nice. All he needs is a pokemon related comic.
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@!!**... I forgot my chain saw!-Satan
From: Georgia | Registered: Jul 2000
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Psybro
Half Psyduck. Half Slowbro. All cop.
Member # 290
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posted 10-31-2003 01:23 PM
Hallowe'en started in the British Isles with the Druids.
Those guys were really spooky.
From: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2000
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MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445
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posted 10-31-2003 02:28 PM
I seriously can't tell for sure, is the original link Porygone gave making FUN of what some people think or is the creator of that comic being serious?
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Donald
Bob the Builder
Member # 1551
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posted 10-31-2003 02:36 PM
I think they're serious.
And I don't celebrate Hallowe'en, but that's only because the owners of the apartment complex I rent from are total stiff-asses.
From: In your girl's panties | Registered: Feb 2001
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Porygone
The Goatse Man
Member # 805
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posted 10-31-2003 04:04 PM
No. The guy who makes these comics is supposedly serious.
The problem is that you can't really tell because they're always so asanine.
The one I linked to basically has loads of kids killing a cat for Satan, who appears to chainsaw them all.
The one that warns about Dungeons and Dragons shows a kid who joins a player group that just so happens to use the game to practice black magicks and then automatically turns into demonic brat overnight.
etc.
[ 10-31-2003, 04:48 PM: Message edited by: Porygone ]
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YOU'RE WINNER!
From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000
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Cesar
Farting Nudist
Member # 529
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posted 10-31-2003 04:46 PM
Everytime you masturbate, God kills a kitten...
From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000
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Dweedle
My hands and feet are mangos
Member # 1209
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posted 10-31-2003 04:49 PM
I've never liked Halloween anyway
mainly because I don't like dressing up and I don't like chocolate
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the only way to get pass this will be to commit suicune
From: second of all, Quagmire's not really a bad guy! | Registered: Nov 2000
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Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7
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posted 10-31-2003 05:11 PM
quote:
Originally posted by Porygone:
There's a fine line between little kids begging for candy and slaughtering a cat to appease Satan.
Furthermore, I've been under the impression that Satan will a) take on pleasing forms, and b) he doesn't directly interfere with people, merely tempt them and encourage them to do wrong.
OK, the whole Satan-as-chainsaw-killer thing is pretty retarded. But I think his basic premise does have merit, even if his delivery is terrible. A St Johnny who's indulged in the Bible his whole life would be less likely to turn Wiccan or Buddhist or some other sort of Evil than, say, the stereotypical D&D-obsessed Terry Brooks reader because, well, they already spend all their time casting spells and such nonsense; it's entirely natural to them. And Halloween is just another extension of that paradigm which blurs the distinction between fantasy and reality.
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[insert sig here]
From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000
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Porygone
The Goatse Man
Member # 805
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posted 10-31-2003 05:52 PM
OK, the whole Satan-as-chainsaw-killer thing is pretty retarded.
Very. I more or less agree with you on the rest, though I don't exactly refer to Buddhism as evil.
Still want to know your thoughts on the third comic that pkthunder linked to.
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YOU'RE WINNER!
From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000
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cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19
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posted 10-31-2003 08:24 PM
That Mormon one is great. Not as good as the Mormon roast on SA yesterday, but pretty funny. I'd never seen it before.
The D&D one is the most famous of all, naturally- everybody loves that roleplaying turns into a kooky religion and a suicide.
I also thought Satan with a chainsaw was wonderful. Cmon, chainsawdevil is genius!
Anyway, yea MK, I'm pretty sure these things are serious. I've met people who think in the general way these things suggest, but I've never been 100% sure.... because these things are *really* dumb.
From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000
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cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19
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posted 10-31-2003 08:57 PM
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0003/0003_01.asp
Sorry, this one is great too.
I have found exactly one that doesn't make me laugh out loud. I mean, it's obviously very Christian, but it isn't stupid and offensive like the others: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0085/0085_01.asp
But wow, most of them are stupid. I like all the ones where the devil pops up and runs around.
...Ok, this one is great: http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0082/0082_01.asp
This is the whole "Catholics go to hell" thing, which is wonderfully funny, given that the fundamentalist protestants (usually Baptists) that buy this line usually believe that all you have to do is accept Jesus. Well, I'm pretty fucking certain Catholics accept Jesus. So these guys may have room to argue that the church is a perverted version of what it should be or something, but claiming that they are all hellbound is pretty funny.
I guess, according to these guys, the helltoll is even higher than for your average Christians.
What's the helltoll? That's the number of people who, according to a given religion, are in hell (or are dead and will eventually be in hell). The line I've heard from some Baptists is that God will spare anyone who honestly never had a chance to know God- basically meaning that they reduce the helltoll from almost everybody to almost nobody. Of course, it also means that their most logical course of action is to shut the fuck up and try to guarantee that as few people as possible hear about God.
Anyway, this tract is so excellent because the only people exempt from hell are:
1- Disciples of Christ and early Christians up until Nicea
2- Protestants
3- Probably just Baptists, actually.
4- Nah, just the really *faithful* Baptists...
Which basically enhellifies all of medieval Europe, and, of course, the whole of Africa, Asia, America, etc. And any modern Catholics.
Though most people don't know it, they usually want either a religion with a low helltoll (a nonjudgemental religion that preaches that God will accept all, or that all spirits live on, or reincarnate, or whatever), or a religion with a high helltoll (a religion that tells them, most of all, that they are right, and that everyone that isn't like them is hellbound)- and that this desire is based, largely, on how they see the world and relate to other people. They'll reject teachings that are contrary to what they actually want.
I've always thought that that is interesting.
From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000
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Mentar the Malady Monkey
worst username ever
Member # 1182
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posted 10-31-2003 09:11 PM
Man, did it ever occur to this guy that YHVH could be full of shit? Hell, he seems like sort of a prick to me. He lied a few times, killed some people, condemned people for doing something "evil" when they didn't know beforehand that it was evil, etc. (Compare that to the devil, who never killed anyone, lied, stole, etc.) To boot, he slanders other gods and labels them as "demons" when it's convenient - couldn't he very well be a demon, himself?
On topic...
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0055/0055_01.asp <- Funny and filled with humorous misinformation. With help from our favorite Creationist lightweight champ, Kent Hovind!
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0054/0054_01.asp <- I guess this is why Hitler wanted to kill Catholics, too.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0034/0034_01.asp <- I wonder how he'd feel if he ever heard the black metal band, Judas Iscariot, complete with lyrics such as "gaze upon Heaven in flames".
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0029/0029_01.asp <- You know, I'm pretty sure YHVH was at some point a "pagan" god, too - Genesis 1 uses "we", etc.
http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0090/0090_01.asp <- Kinda makes me wonder if God would have approved of latex condoms.
[ 10-31-2003, 09:18 PM: Message edited by: Mentar the Malady Monkey ]
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WHAT.
From: Pandemonium, HL, Hades | Registered: Nov 2000
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cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19
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posted 10-31-2003 09:34 PM
That most certainly did *not* occur to him.
Another thing that is funny is the whole "Lucifer is the devil" thing.
That's a popular thing that's believed by most Christians, but these aren't "most Christians"... these are Bible literalists.
So, find that stuff in the Bible?
Ah... here we go. It's in Isaiah.
12
How art thou fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! how art thou cut down to the ground, which didst weaken the nations!
13
For thou hast said in thine heart, I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God: I will sit also upon the mount of the congregation, in the sides of the north:
14
I will ascend above the heights of the clouds; I will be like the most High.
But where's the link to the devil spoken of in entirely different places of the Bible?
http://fhss.byu.edu/HISTORY/faculty/hamblin/OT%20web/23%20OT%20Isaiah/Lucifer.htm
Has a pretty good version of it.
Anyway, point is, these guys don't even get their wacky ideas straight from the Bible. The one thing they claim is "everything we believe is in this book"... and *that* falls on it's face.
From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000
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cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19
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posted 10-31-2003 09:37 PM
Interesting point 3M. Early Hebrews were nomadic, of course, and each nomadic group of people in that area had their own tribal diety. More important than the "we" business is the whole general feeling of "pls ignore the other tribal gods and worship me thx".
I've heard scholars say that this is because if you go from one tribe to the other and can't take the worship of your diety with you, you end up in better shape as a tribe- the new person is more fully integrated.
Lot of interesting stuff on the nomadic Hebrews out there.
From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000
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Porygone
The Goatse Man
Member # 805
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posted 10-31-2003 09:56 PM
For some reason, I just thought that in order to get a lot of people into Christianity, someone should make a Christian anime where Jesus and Satan have a giant mecha fight.
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YOU'RE WINNER!
From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000
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cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19
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posted 10-31-2003 10:00 PM
Oh, on the "no sex outside of marriage" thing...
That's not in the Bible. The Bible says no adultery. Adultery's meaning, I'm pretty sure, is the same. Sex before marriage is allowed- the big thing about it, I believe, is that if you bone a virgin and get caught you need to pay the fee to the father of the virgin that he could have gotten when she married as a virgin, or something. Oh, I don't remember. The whole trick is that you owe money, so it's pretty obviously a civil offense... and only if she's a virgin.
But anyway, that one about AIDS is the first one that really pisses me off. The others are laughably dumb, but I *hate* it when they fuck around with science. The sooner we have a cure for AIDS, the sooner this one looks really dumb.
The rock one is so good. Seeing Christians tear into Christian rock is funny.
No one likes them! Apparently not even Jesus!
That evolution one is just eight threads waiting to happen. It was just like reading 1=3 over and over again. The refutation of it begins and ends thusly: There is no truth contained therein.
Good times, good times.
From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000
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MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445
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posted 10-31-2003 10:11 PM
Back to the "sex before marriage" thing, I think my dad said that back in Bible Times that if you laid with a woman before marriage it was expected that you "would marry her." Maybe the word is should instead of would...
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Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7
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posted 11-01-2003 02:29 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Porygone:
Still want to know your thoughts on the third comic that pkthunder linked to.
It's mostly true, except we do believe Jesus created the world, they misspelled Hyrum, and I'm not sure about Jesus having wives.
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[insert sig here]
From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000
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Porygone
The Goatse Man
Member # 805
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posted 11-01-2003 03:44 AM
I see.
I wasn't sure if you found it offensive since it basically said your entire religion was idiotic, noticed false facts, etc.
I don't know much about the Mormon religion except that it's apparently about worshipping Space Jesus.
And not Yoda, either.
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YOU'RE WINNER!
From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000
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Dav1dL
Farting Nudist
Member # 2046
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posted 11-01-2003 11:34 AM
I think the evolution one was the coolest. Made me laugh like a maniac.
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Never argue with an idiot, they'll drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.
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Miko
Farting Nudist
Member # 3504
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posted 11-01-2003 07:53 PM
quote:
I'm sorry Susan... you're dying and there's no cure.
Ahahaha!! I don't know why but that made me laugh.
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Goo goo ka choo
From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2003
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Psybro
Half Psyduck. Half Slowbro. All cop.
Member # 290
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posted 11-01-2003 08:19 PM
quote:
Originally posted by cfalcon:
The rock one is so good. Seeing Christians tear into Christian rock is funny.
I just went and threw my Zeppelin CDs at my Catholic priest.
From: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2000
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Jman
Farting Nudist
Member # 618
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posted 11-01-2003 09:15 PM
I spent Halloween at a high school football game.
YEEHAWW.
From: da burgh | Registered: Jul 2000
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Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7
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posted 11-02-2003 05:41 AM
"You mean I should stop boozing, swearing and cheating on my old woman... and start going to church and lead the good life?"
"NOPE!... it wouldn't do you any good, Duke, because you'd still be goin' to hell!"
...
[ 11-02-2003, 05:45 AM: Message edited by: Rolken ]
From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000
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Porygone
The Goatse Man
Member # 805
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posted 11-02-2003 06:23 AM
It goes on to say that his sins would be washed away and he'll be forgiven if he asks Jesus for forgiveness and invites him into his heart, more or less.
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YOU'RE WINNER!
From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000
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Jman
Farting Nudist
Member # 618
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posted 11-02-2003 12:15 PM
Jesus was married, though.
Isn't that like cheating?
From: da burgh | Registered: Jul 2000
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Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7
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posted 11-03-2003 01:55 AM
quote:
Originally posted by Porygone:
It goes on to say that his sins would be washed away and he'll be forgiven if he asks Jesus for forgiveness and invites him into his heart, more or less.
That's not the point. The point is that he made a stab at reforming his life and was told, nah, just swallow our BS and you can piss around as you please because you're expected to. And this is a situation invented to convince us that this worldview is right!
Well, more accurately, that it provides peace of mind without too much trouble.
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[insert sig here]
From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000
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Psybro
Half Psyduck. Half Slowbro. All cop.
Member # 290
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posted 11-03-2003 12:21 PM
This was always my favourite bit:
From: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2000
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