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Author Topic: Puke stories. Share yours. Don't read while eating.
New Guy
Farting Nudist
Member # 692

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posted 09-24-2003 04:34 AM      Profile for New Guy   Email New Guy   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Share your worst throwing up stories. I'll start.

A few years ago I went on vacation to Panama City. Whilst swimming in the ocean one day I swallowed a gulp of seawater. I coughed and gagged, but didn't puke. Since nothing bad happened right away, I thought nothing of it. I was fine the whole day until late that night. I think we had pizza for dinner. I woke up and had that moment in bed where you just know that you half to puke, but you can't move out of bed or you will set it off. So I jump up and run to the bathroom down the hall. I make it to the bathroom with a mouthfull of vomit, but woe for me, my stomach was too strong. I had been in chorus for about 5 years then, so I had decently strong abdominal muscles. Puke comes shooting out, covering one of the walls and floor in a slick goo. I slip and fall on my back, and then a fountain of vomit shoots fourth. My poor mother had at that time charged in to see what the hell was going on and got caught in the mayhem. I mange to crawl to the toilet, but at that point, I was mostly spent. After we each had a turn at the shower and cleaned up, we went back to bed. When we left a few days later, the bathroom still had a noticable greasy feel all over it which no amount of cleaner could dissolve.

From: Georgia | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
Coxy
Hulkamania has run wild over me.
Member # 2297

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posted 09-24-2003 08:44 AM      Profile for Coxy   Email Coxy   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The problem lies in the fact that the octopus egg you swallowed excited your stomach.

However, your stomach grew used to the feeling and now you fell fine, right? How many years ago was "a few"? I'd go for an XRay if I were you.

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I love nintendolover, but only in a strictly platonic sense.

From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
ceoalex316
Time for the flaming leprosy party
Member # 338

posted 09-24-2003 10:46 AM      Profile for ceoalex316     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by New Guy:
So I jump up and run to the bathroom down the hall. I make it to the bathroom with a mouthfull of vomit, but woe for me, my stomach was too strong. I had been in chorus for about 5 years then, so I had decently strong abdominal muscles. Puke comes shooting out, covering one of the walls and floor in a slick goo. I slip and fall on my back, and then a fountain of vomit shoots fourth. My poor mother had at that time charged in to see what the hell was going on and got caught in the mayhem. I mange to crawl to the toilet, but at that point, I was mostly spent.

Funny story.

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Maximum Penetration Industries.

From: NYC | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
pkthunder
I look like your mom.
Member # 67

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posted 09-24-2003 12:23 PM      Profile for pkthunder   Author's Homepage   Email pkthunder   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Wow. I have a lot of puke stories. I used to puke every month on the first day of my period.

The first time it happened, I was a freshman in high school. It was P.E., the last class of my day, and I puked out by the track.

The second or third time, I don't remember which, it was right after I removed the stomach of the fetal pig. I threw up on the ground right outside of our classroom, and I got to wear the hot guy's (Paul Tarquino) letterman jacket because I was cold and clammy and he didn't mind it getting all nasty with my clamminess.

One time I didn't quite make it to the head in time, and as above, a spewed all over the bathroom. The walls were covered with it. Then on my way up to the front office where I was going to call my grandma to come pick me up and take me homw, I puked in the garbage can. Someone saw me and asked if I'd be okay, and I assured them I'd be fine.

I started just staying at home on the days I started. It worked out much better.

Until I got to college, where there were more responsibilities. Twice I had to reschedule a final exam, because that's how my luck runs.

On the day of my Categorical Data Analysis final, I was in the computer lab that morning, finishing up a homework project, when I started feeling nauseous and light-headed. I decided to quit where I was and take the bus home to rest. I couldn't walk very well I was feeling so shitty. I made it about fifty yards and stopped to rest under a tree. Stayed there about 10 minutes. Then I got up to walk a little farther, and ended up puking in a garbage can, then laying back down in the grass a few yards away. A lady who worked in a nearby building saw me puking through her window, came out to ask how I was. She walked me into her office, gave me some cool water and some paper towels to clean myself up, and let me use her phone to call up cfalcon, who was at his place with my car. He came and picked me up a few minutes later. When I got back to his place, I had to call my prof and tell him I couldn't make it to the test.

When I was in middle school, I was supposed to be in the "Welcome Home Troops" parade after Gulf War I, carrying the banner for the high school band. I got sick and threw up, the fire fighters who were queued up behind the band gave me their Gatorade and a Snickers, and I sat in a car in the air conditioning for about thirty minutes and held up the entire parade. Then they wouldn't even let me march, so they had to go find my dad to come get me, holding up the parade even more.

From: Broomfield, CO | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
powercat
Farting Nudist
Member # 1103

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posted 09-24-2003 01:13 PM      Profile for powercat     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The last two times I puked were both after eating a Whopper at Burger King. The incidents happened over a year apart, but it has caused me to give up Burger King forever.

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http://xbox360s.freepay.com/?r=24531001

From: Stockton, CA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
Fenix
I live in a public bathroom.
Member # 2371

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posted 09-24-2003 03:06 PM      Profile for Fenix   Author's Homepage   Email Fenix   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
The last time I puked was last Friday, because I was feeling super-shitty due to a migraine and headaches make me nauseous. The only other time before that that I can remember is when I was little and I ate almost an entire bag of tortilla chips and hot dip in one go. That was kinda nasty coming back up.

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life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery

From: The Homeworld, Aiur | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mentar the Malady Monkey
worst username ever
Member # 1182

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posted 09-24-2003 05:28 PM      Profile for Mentar the Malady Monkey   Email Mentar the Malady Monkey   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I remember some insanely long run we did for Track on the second day of practice. It was fucking 6 miles or someshit, which isn't that bad unless (like me) you have no conditioning whatsoever and are devoid of anything even remotely approaching endurance. Anyway, I puked hardcore on the way back to the school (I got lost) since I had eaten fries that day. The sucky part was, the coach still made me run the whole way back.

I also recall doing a series of 600's right after lunch (fries, again) and suddenly doubling my speed just so I could reach a trash can and puke in time.

More recently, I woke up in the middle of the night following some event or another and just barely made it to the bathroom in time. This was probably the worst puke I've ever had. A good solid minute of puke, filled with chunks - not soft, meaty chunks, but those annoying ones that feel like they're hooked and barbed as they force their way up your throat, getting caught in everything possible and proving nearly impossible to remove - and a rather caustic one, too. It came out both my nose and mouth at the same time, so no breathing for me. It took me a good 5 minutes or so of blowing my nose to empty all the chunks and shit out of there.

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WHAT.

From: Pandemonium, HL, Hades | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
ceoalex316
Time for the flaming leprosy party
Member # 338

posted 09-24-2003 07:08 PM      Profile for ceoalex316     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Finally a puke story that doesn’t involve pansy stomach illnesses.

I remember going to a karate tournament when I was 12. I was extremely short for my age and was scheduled to fight this big fat kid. I lost, but I tried badly to win the fight. Last point was scored on my solar plexus. Fucking waste of time, but I got a trophy since there was only 3 people in the age 12 division. I threw up from stardust on the car ride home (inside the car.) I got motion sick, but I didn’t tell the driver that I threw up. He was a driver for the karate school so after I left the car I never saw him again.

My friend threw up twice between fights in the back of the gym, but he had 10 people in his division and had to beat 7 of them to get his 3rd place trophy.

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From: NYC | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
TeLeFonE
X-treme rotary telephone
Member # 2293

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posted 09-24-2003 07:50 PM      Profile for TeLeFonE   Email TeLeFonE   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
MMMMmmmm.... yum.

There was this one time when I was at Disney World and my family ate at this like 5 star restaurant. My parents were like "veal is good, have the veal." So I get the veal. We leave and go to some shopping place there... I forget the name... and like I start feeling really sick as I'm waiting for my parents to get the hell out of this one store.. there's like a huge line in there. Suddenly, I get really, really dizzy and just start looking down. All of the sudden, I puke up everything I ate that night. I mean everything. I made a large puddle of puke on the sidewalk. My brother was with me... what does he do? He gets all grossed out and runs away like he's gonna puke. He's just a pussy cause he didnt puke or anything. Yeah, it was all over my nice, new white shoes, too. It sucked. I had to sit in the bathroom for like 20 mins afterward to make sure I didn't hurl anymore. I think it was the veal or the ham I had with the salad. One of those two.

My friend from Track pukes all the time cause he runs too hard, but that's his own damn fault. I personally have never puked from running... never. I don't plan on starting anytime soon, either. The lesson there is never over work yourself. Heh.

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fuck this username is gay

Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

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posted 09-24-2003 08:50 PM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Mr. K needs to see this thread.

Give him a few days.

Anyway, the only time I puked in a memorable fashion was when I was sick in college. I only get sick rarely, so it's usually something fucked up- in this case, it was almost certainly some kind of food poisoning, because a friend and I who had eaten together recently both felt like shit for a couple days. Anyway, I was basically too sick to move, and I had been throwing up a bit. But I finally managed to go to sleep. When I woke up, I needed to puke. Bad. So I got up and ran toward the bathroom, all of 15 feet away. Unlike the previous times, I didn't make it. Not even close.

Cone of Vomit 10' long shoots out. Fucking nasty ass whatever-I-had-eaten chunks go flying all about my floor, walkthrough closet, and bathroom.

Floorplan to apartment:
code:
+----------+
| | --*-|
| | | ***|
|--- |--*-|
| ***|
| | V |
| | |
| | |
+-----+----+

The upper right is the bathroom. Below it is the closet, below that is the bedroom. The V is the arc of horrible vomit from my mouth. The asterisks are the puke splattering shit.

Not shown: Puke also hit walls around closet door in front of me.

So then I got to CLEAN ALL THAT UP.

I bear nothing but malice toward whaetever small particles, living or not, caused this fiasco.

[ 09-24-2003, 08:51 PM: Message edited by: cfalcon ]

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Anthrax
Ultimate Authoritative Power in the Universe
Member # 335

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posted 09-24-2003 09:36 PM      Profile for Anthrax   Author's Homepage   Email Anthrax   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
20 tylenol pm = hey i feel like death

i think i'll just lie down on the couch

hmm, feel kinda unbelievably terrible

this has never happened before

it appears i am going to throw up

i am throwing up in the toilet

oh no i have a conjunctival hemorrhage

From: Somebody put shit in my pants! | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Barrierd
I have a colony of shrimp living in my bladder
Member # 3132

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posted 09-24-2003 10:54 PM      Profile for Barrierd   Email Barrierd   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My worst throwing up experience (that happened to me) wasn't so bad vomit-spew-wise, but just the date.

Christmas Day.

I will never forget that Christmas, as I puked about 5 or 6 times. Once on the floor. Not only that, but I was still a little young and whiny, so I basically ruined my whole family's Christmas that year. It was quite memorable.

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Where are my bitches

From: Victoria, B.C., Canada | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged
kikered
Farting Nudist
Member # 830

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posted 09-24-2003 11:31 PM      Profile for kikered   Email kikered   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
In elementary school, I was in the school's "Special Chorus." We were going to have a field trip to a local high school one day for a pan-elementary-school concert rehearsal. Before that, we got to eat our sack lunches in the choir room since the bus taking us to the high school wasn't there yet. It was getting late and the bus still didn't show up, so the teacher lead our entourage to Olathe East. On foot. After we got there, I had a bad headache and a queasy stomach from walking for a long time in hot weather right after I just ate. After rehearsing a few song on stage, I asked my teacher, who was playing the piano accompaniment, if I could go to the restroom since I wasn't feeling well. She asked me, "Can it wait just a little longer?" Right then, I spewed on her piano bench in front of the 100 some little kids. Luckily for me, no one seemed to remember it during jr. high and high school...

Nowadays, I have Improved Intestinal Fortitude. Hur hur hur...

Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
DoomMullet
Farting Nudist
Member # 3363

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posted 09-25-2003 11:44 AM      Profile for DoomMullet     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Here's a puke-n-rally story:

I was at a bar with a bunch of friends, all doing a power hour. Most of us finish, and then stumble out to leave. Me, and three other guys stay. Two of those guys are going for the venerated title of Century Club (power hour + 40).

At about shot 76 or so, the one guy all of a sudden gets a sick look on his face and charges to the bathroom. I follow to make sure he's ok.

He is. He's also puking right into the sink, which seems to have stopped draining. Once he gets it all out, we head back out, leaving a sizeable puddle of puke clogging the sink.

He makes it back in time for the next shot.

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What kind of a fuckass fuck of a bumfuck shithole town is this?

From: fondling your balls, don't you feel that? | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Kazuki
Farting Nudist
Member # 3519

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posted 10-02-2003 09:21 PM      Profile for Kazuki     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I have a trifecta of puke stories I'd like to share.

One time my friend was on a metro bus, and this homeless guy across from him started puking straight up into the air. It was like " a fountain of corn and gravy " as he put it. The man then stood up, stumbled to the front, puked out the opening doors, then took his seat, puking on the floor on the way back.

My other friend was in the backseat of a car with his brother, and they'd both eaten burgers. My friend's brother was finishing his, when he suddenly puked THROUGH the burger. He held onto the buns as the vom came gushing inbetween them. Well my friend was younger then, and the mere sight sent him into hysterics, so he too threw up, all over the back of the drivers seat, and his father who was in it.

Finally, another friend of mine was on his way to Mexico on a Greyhound bus. I'm not sure if he'd had some bad water or something, but he started feeling really sick. He had a plastic grocery store bag with him, and puked into it for about 5 minutes. Nobody noticed though. He said he could see everything he'd recently eaten in the bag, since it was transparent. Then he did the smart thing, and instead of alerting everyone to his vomiting and having the driver stop, he non-chalantyly tossed the bag out the window, hitting a car. He says the guy swerved aroung when the bag exploded all over his hood, but he doesn't know what became of him then.

[ 10-07-2003, 01:48 PM: Message edited by: Kazuki ]

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" When we get outta the 80's and into the 90's, we'll make the 60's look like the 50's. "

From: Seattle, WA | Registered: Sep 2003  |  IP: Logged
maagisk
Farting Nudist
Member # 536

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posted 10-04-2003 11:53 PM      Profile for maagisk   Author's Homepage   Email maagisk   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I hardly ever puked until I started high school wrestling. I wrestle at 189 and if I'm weighing in at 191 or less, I'll go and make myself puke up 2 lbs. It seems sick, but you have to do what you can.

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From: Dramen, Norway | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged
Eaichu250
Farting Nudist
Member # 826

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posted 10-05-2003 10:23 AM      Profile for Eaichu250   Email Eaichu250   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
After reading through this topic, I suddendly have the craving to eat a large amount of food. <3

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lol

From: Perth Amboy, NJ | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
Automaton
Farting Nudist
Member # 1234

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posted 10-05-2003 06:00 PM      Profile for Automaton   Author's Homepage   Email Automaton   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This isn't really that humorous, nothing like the guy puking through the burger, but it's the worst experience I had.

I was sicker than fuck one day and called in sick from Monaco Coach where I worked. I had not only a head/chest cold but also some kinda nasty stomach virus.

I was feeling like shit, and woke up early in the morning, called in, then drank like a double dose of Nyquil and went back to sleep.

A couple hours later, I was feeling horrid. I got up and staggered into my shower. About a minute later, I started puking up that lovely nyquil greenish blue color. Meanwhile, Diarrhea begins to drizzle out of my ass.

Luckily, I was in the shower. But that is -bar none- The Sickest I Have Ever Been In My Entire Life.

From: Oregon | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged


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