The Azure Heights Forum


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Azure Heights Forum   » The Courtyard   » Karp Park   » Rolken suggested I complain here (NO CLICK WHILE EATING)

UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Rolken suggested I complain here (NO CLICK WHILE EATING)
MewtwoSama
Asshole
Member # 12

Member Rated:
posted 09-05-2003 08:04 AM      Profile for MewtwoSama   Author's Homepage   Email MewtwoSama   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I was playing Madden and I was having a wonderful time playing Chargers vs Raiders. LT had 170 yrds going into the 3rd qtr and I was up 21-6.
I felt something in my bum bum. I noticed it felt liquidy and I got up to see and saw two blood spots on my couch.

I then realize my hemorrhoid had burst.

The pain is actually less now. When it was swollen, I could barely sit, walk, etc. I looked at my shorts and saw that a piece of clotted blood came out.

So anyway, I played with google and found some funny links:

http://web2.iadfw.net/~elo/news/rhoids.html
quote:
"I was rubbing my arse pretty hard on the rock when one of my hemorrhoids burst open and blood spilled out all over the place. The relief was immediate and there was no more pressure or pain. It was truly a miracle from Jesus," Kalim said.
http://shtick.org/Charlie/charlie59.htm

http://www.hackwriters.com/unspeakable.htm

[ 09-06-2003, 01:47 PM: Message edited by: cfalcon ]

From: Abyss of Evil | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Ikuse
Farting Nudist
Member # 3037

Member Rated:
posted 09-05-2003 08:59 AM      Profile for Ikuse   Author's Homepage   Email Ikuse   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
From: In my pants. | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7

Member Rated:
posted 09-05-2003 09:03 AM      Profile for Rolken   Author's Homepage   Email Rolken   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
yeah, I wasn't terribly coherent after forty or so hours without sleep

condolences, that clotted blood stuff sounds pretty nasty too

Also Jesus lives.

- - - - -
[insert sig here]

From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
MewtwoSama
Asshole
Member # 12

Member Rated:
posted 09-05-2003 09:32 AM      Profile for MewtwoSama   Author's Homepage   Email MewtwoSama   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
So I thought I farted.

I checked my ass and found blood again.
I took a shower and this big red thing fell on the floor.

I wish I had medical insurance.

From: Abyss of Evil | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Blue Seed
Farting Nudist
Member # 3471

Member Rated:
posted 09-05-2003 10:00 AM      Profile for Blue Seed        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I... once had a nasty pimple on my foot.

Putting on my left shoe became a battle of life or death.

- - - - -
Give drugs to children.

Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
EspeonNidoking
warcraft 3
Member # 2028

posted 09-05-2003 11:08 AM      Profile for EspeonNidoking   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
oh...my...god... [Frown]

- - - - -
"Yeah, my pubic hair has dollar signs trimmed in it!

$$Bling Bling$$" ~Jman

From: Summit,New Jersey, Tampa, Fl, and Rindge, NH | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Pornbot
I AM A GAY FAGGOT GAY
Member # 1321

Member Rated:
posted 09-05-2003 11:09 AM      Profile for Pornbot   Author's Homepage   Email Pornbot   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
God that's so hot
From: Auschwitz | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged
FlameBait
Farting Nudist
Member # 235

Member Rated:
posted 09-05-2003 04:04 PM      Profile for FlameBait   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Have I told you all about that zit I had on my sack that one time?

But yeah, that's pretty nasty. =[

- - - - -
"The preceding post may have contained profanity, obscenity, racial slurs, and/or evidence of spamming. By reading this statement, you devoid the right to warn/ban the user based on the above post."

From: Nashville, TN, USA | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Blue Seed
Farting Nudist
Member # 3471

Member Rated:
posted 09-05-2003 04:30 PM      Profile for Blue Seed        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hah, I read that one.

- - - - -
Give drugs to children.

Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Charmeleon42
Date Rapist
Member # 1066

Member Rated:
posted 09-05-2003 05:45 PM      Profile for Charmeleon42   Author's Homepage   Email Charmeleon42   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I took a shower and this big red thing fell on the floor.

Dude, your ass is falling off! Also how big.

From: Mountain Dew Land | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

Member Rated:
posted 09-05-2003 06:08 PM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
How do those bleeding flesh grapes feel compared to, say, being kicked in the balls?

- - - - -
OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

Member Rated:
posted 09-06-2003 01:48 PM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You have stolen all pleasure from the formerly delightful vegetable medley I was eating.
From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
MewtwoSama
Asshole
Member # 12

Member Rated:
posted 09-08-2003 02:01 PM      Profile for MewtwoSama   Author's Homepage   Email MewtwoSama   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
cfalcon: sorry

bonzibuddy: I'd rather get kicked in the junk

charmander: about the size of a nickel

From: Abyss of Evil | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
MewtwoSama
Asshole
Member # 12

Member Rated:
posted 08-19-2005 11:02 PM      Profile for MewtwoSama   Author's Homepage   Email MewtwoSama   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
semi rolken thread
From: Abyss of Evil | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7

Member Rated:
posted 08-21-2005 06:38 PM      Profile for Rolken   Author's Homepage   Email Rolken   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
posting in a thread with me in the title
From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mr. K
Racist
Member # 2

Member Rated:
posted 08-23-2005 12:17 AM      Profile for Mr. K   Author's Homepage   Email Mr. K   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
how is your ass now
From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
MewtwoSama
Asshole
Member # 12

Member Rated:
posted 08-23-2005 01:20 AM      Profile for MewtwoSama   Author's Homepage   Email MewtwoSama   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My fungal medication is wrecking damage on my liver and my shit is never regular.
From: Abyss of Evil | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Psybro
Half Psyduck. Half Slowbro. All cop.
Member # 290

Member Rated:
posted 08-23-2005 07:05 PM      Profile for Psybro   Email Psybro   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I think I had a haemarrhoid once I don't know
From: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged


All times are ET (US)  
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Azure Heights Pokémon Laboratory

© 2000-2016, Maximum Penetration Industries.

Karpe Diem


The views and opinions expressed on this page are strictly those of the author(s). The contents and links have not been reviewed or approved by the University of Miami.