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Author Topic: 300+ PROOFS THAT GOD EXISTS
Zerot
I pay schoolgirls to verbally abuse me.
Member # 1295

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posted 07-31-2003 09:31 PM      Profile for Zerot   Author's Homepage   Email Zerot   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
clickclickclick

I'm convinced. [Big Grin]

From: Lizton, Indiana | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged
Iyse
Farting Nudist
Member # 149

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posted 07-31-2003 09:44 PM      Profile for Iyse   Email Iyse   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I rule.
I therefore rule.

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OMG IAN GARVEY WTF!!!111

From: Brussels, Belgium | Registered: Mar 2000  |  IP: Logged
crowN
Farting Nudist
Member # 3415

posted 07-31-2003 10:02 PM      Profile for crowN   Email crowN   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I didn't know you Bible thumpers were trying to prove god existed. I honestly don't know whether that website is a joke, or someone being serious. [Trash Bear]

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http://profiles.myspace.com/users/Krivanka

^___^;;

From: 1996 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
dAyWaLkEr
Farting Nudist
Member # 3343

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posted 07-31-2003 10:12 PM      Profile for dAyWaLkEr     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
hey if u wanted proof u could just look at yourself

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absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence

Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Zerot
I pay schoolgirls to verbally abuse me.
Member # 1295

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posted 07-31-2003 10:18 PM      Profile for Zerot   Author's Homepage   Email Zerot   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
How much longer does it take to type out 'you'?

EDIT: Oh, and your statement is nonsense.

[ 07-31-2003, 10:24 PM: Message edited by: Zerot ]

From: Lizton, Indiana | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged
Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
Member # 1040

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posted 07-31-2003 10:27 PM      Profile for Land und Leute   Email Land und Leute   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My favs:

quote:
ARGUMENT FROM TAXATION
(1) Churches don't pay taxes.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

yes they are the win

quote:
ARGUMENT FROM HAULING ASS
(1) [theist creates message board account and logs in]
(2) "GOD IS REEL AND ALL YOU HEATHEN ATHEIST INFEDILS WILL BERN IN HELL FORE-EVER MARK MY WERDS!!!!!!!!@#3FD"
(3) [theist logs off and never returns]
(4) Therefore, God exists.

Who was that again?

quote:
ARGUMENT FROM SQUARE CIRCLES
(1) There is no such thing as a square circle.
(2) God is not a square circle.
(3) Therefore, God exists



quote:
ARGUMENT FROM FUZZY ANIMALS (aka TELEOLOGICAL ARGUMENT III)
(1) Bunnies are cute.
(2) Cuteness is not an evolutionary advantage.
(3) Therefore, cuteness must have been designed.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

I'm not so sure about this one. Cuteness could be an evolutionary advantage. For example, let's say a cute, lonely girl interested in passing on her genes enters Azure Heights. Now, if the girl wasn't cute, the guys at Azure Heights may not pay as much attention to her than if she were cute. Since she is cute, the guys at Azure Heights proceed to do her, and she has lots of babies. Her mission, to pass on her genes, is therefore complete and her cuteness helped play a role in this process. Hooray for cute girls.

quote:
ARGUMENT FROM METEORS (FALWELL'S ARGUMENT)
(1) God hates gay people.
(2) God is merciful.
(3) Disney World held a Gay Day parade.
(4) God could punish Disney World by sending hurricanes, earthquakes, and possibly a meteor to Florida.
(5) God didn't, thus proving both postulate 1 and 2.
(6) Therefore, God exists.

What there really a Gay Day parade? WTF?

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theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

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posted 08-01-2003 12:17 AM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Ok, just so we're all straight, the list is sarcasm.

Cuteness IS an evolutionary advantage. Actually, the evolutionary advantage is in finding your offspring worthy of protection, so mammals, which take care of their offspring, have a system of large eyes and rounder heads to distinguish children and make them cute.

The fact that humans consider bunnies cute is, by this logic, accidental: if we considered smaller eyes and such cute, then perhaps we would like bats and rats instead.

Mr. K and I were having this discussion yesterday: I could not give an adequate reason for why humans would find cute little fluffy tails and long adorable fuzzy ears cute.

Therefore, God exists.

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Zem
Farting Nudist
Member # 3467

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posted 08-01-2003 02:00 AM      Profile for Zem     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
They are totally harmless, they're of a decent size, and not totally alien to us. That initiates something, and then we just pass it on from parent to child "hey, that's cute."

Cocker spaniels survive solely for their physical appearance. They have no semblence of intelligence. Without people putting food in front of them, they would die. People only put food in front of them because they are cute to look at.

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Evil: Statistics, Microsoft, and Telemarketers.

From: Denver, CO | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
crowN
Farting Nudist
Member # 3415

posted 08-01-2003 02:22 AM      Profile for crowN   Email crowN   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
1)I've had sex and I'm not even married.
2)God didn't punish me.
3)Therefore, god doesn't exist

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http://profiles.myspace.com/users/Krivanka

^___^;;

From: 1996 | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
Slade_64
chipmunk pr0n author
Member # 804

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posted 08-01-2003 02:25 AM      Profile for Slade_64   Email Slade_64   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
How can an animal see and acknowledge as there own opinion that another is "cute"?

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Bucket.

From: Funky Town Texas | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
Zem
Farting Nudist
Member # 3467

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posted 08-01-2003 02:36 AM      Profile for Zem     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Animals probably don't know cute or not cute, but we do. How we figure what's cute and what isn't is up for grabs, but generally bunnies are cute.

I happen to find squirrels cute. I spread out the birdseed so they can get some too. So.. well... if they weren't cute, I wouldn't feed them.

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Evil: Statistics, Microsoft, and Telemarketers.

From: Denver, CO | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Slade_64
chipmunk pr0n author
Member # 804

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posted 08-01-2003 02:55 AM      Profile for Slade_64   Email Slade_64   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I was replying due to this:

quote:
Originally posted by cfalcon:
Cuteness IS an evolutionary advantage. Actually, the evolutionary advantage is in finding your offspring worthy of protection, so mammals, which take care of their offspring, have a system of large eyes and rounder heads to distinguish children and make them cute.



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Bucket.

From: Funky Town Texas | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
veloS
8=D~~O:
Member # 2636

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posted 08-01-2003 03:21 AM      Profile for veloS     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by crowN:
1)I've had sex and I'm not even married.
2)God didn't punish me.
3)Therefore, god doesn't exist

Boodabonzi alert. HE HAD SEX!!!!11!1!!!!

LOOK ATE ME, I HAD SEX!!!!

Seriously, God doesn't punish you for sinning. You do. Like when you fuck a girl, and think: "He, fucked you gooooddd...", to later find out she gave you chlamydia.

The only thing God does that can suck, is send your ass to hell. Which can easily be prevented.

<End of transmission>

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www.mightyrhapsody.com

From: Amsterdam | Registered: Feb 2002  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

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posted 08-01-2003 07:33 AM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I sure did.

The universe is infinite. It has infinite possibilities. Therefore, somewhere, there is a babel fish. Therefore God exists.

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OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ikuse
Farting Nudist
Member # 3037

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posted 08-01-2003 10:49 AM      Profile for Ikuse   Author's Homepage   Email Ikuse   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
#227 sounds like something I might convert with.

Edit: you bastard, I was just going to AH to post this. Fuck you.

Edit2: I sitll love you. :-*

From: In my pants. | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
Face
I invented cancer.
Member # 1916

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posted 08-01-2003 03:53 PM      Profile for Face   Author's Homepage   Email Face   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
1) I just had a cheese sandwich for lunch.
2) God loves cheese sandwiches.
3) Therefore, God exists.



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Weezing!

From: Hackensack, nj | Registered: Jun 2001  |  IP: Logged
Iyse
Farting Nudist
Member # 149

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posted 08-01-2003 09:24 PM      Profile for Iyse   Email Iyse   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Face:
1) I just had a cheese sandwich for lunch.
2) God loves cheese sandwiches.
3) Therefore, God exists.


OH MY GOD!! I haven't had a cheese sandwich in yonks! Yeah, I've had HAM and cheese, but it's just NOT the same damnit! Shit... It's 2:23am and I've already brushed my teeth! Ah well, tomorrow is a another day...

For cheese sandwiches...

...with no ham ofcourse.

And it's gonna be on sweet ass white bread, none of that wholemeal shit for me! [Big Grin] YUM!

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OMG IAN GARVEY WTF!!!111

From: Brussels, Belgium | Registered: Mar 2000  |  IP: Logged
dAyWaLkEr
Farting Nudist
Member # 3343

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posted 08-01-2003 11:15 PM      Profile for dAyWaLkEr     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Face:
1) I just had a cheese sandwich for lunch.
2) God loves cheese sandwiches.
3) Therefore, God exists.


Face is my all knowing prophet

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absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence

Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
Sonuis
Sonius
Member # 1508

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posted 08-01-2003 11:42 PM      Profile for Sonuis   Email Sonuis   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
(1) Many people go to Church
(2) Therefore, God exists.

I forgot which type of argument it was, I just remembered this one from it.

Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged
kristraj
Farting Nudist
Member # 1360

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posted 08-02-2003 03:12 AM      Profile for kristraj     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
some of them are so stupid,

u cant prove something exists by stating that it exists at the start and working your way from there, ie

MODAL ONTOLOGICAL ARGUMENT
(1) God exists.
(2) God, existing, is either necessary or unnecessary.
(3) God is not unnecessary, therefore God must be necessary.
(4) Therefore, God exists.

thats just more stupid than funny

- - - - -
trying is always the first step towards failure

From: where ever there's a topless blonde | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

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posted 08-02-2003 05:55 AM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
They are totally harmless, they're of a decent size, and not totally alien to us. That initiates something, and then we just pass it on from parent to child "hey, that's cute."

I was never told what cute was, though. I just knew it intuitively. I liked the cute bunnies because they were cute. I knew that. Even people who don't like cute things know what cute is.

Also, "cute" is a constant in all societies with adjustments for societies- and what people define as "cute" (when they aren't using it to describe someone they'd like to bang, of course) is very indicitive of things shared by babies- large eyes, rounded heads, heads larger in proportion to bodies, small. Without exception, a baby ANYTHING is cuter than an adult anything, also. So while it could be societally trained in part, at least some of it HAS to be inborn.

How can an animal see and acknowledge as there own opinion that another is "cute"?

The same way it can judge that another animal is "sexy" or perhaps looks "tasty"- there are certain visual clues that kick those emotions on- because, remember, my arguement is that an animal that takes care of its young needs a bunch of clues to actually do that.

Does a fox think a bunny is cute? Well, maybe. But that's probably a side effect to the fact that it makes it want to eat it, so one outweighs the other.

Remember: other mammals have emotions, and usually ones that look similar to ours. Maybe not in the same amount or degree, but it's clear that emotions are a lot older than sentient humans. So it would make sense that this would be the case.

Cocker spaniels survive solely for their physical appearance. They have no semblence of intelligence.

Ok, that's not fair. The cocker you are referring to could:

1- Breathe without difficulty.
2- Eat food if you placed her very near it.
3- Pee on everything you fucking own.
4- Find clever ways to attack a trash can and spread trash around.
5- Try to eat my Betta fish.
6- Drink water to create more urine.
7- Occasionally recognize people she spent several days straight with.

That's very intelligent, see. It required an almost psychic knowledge of what would be the shittiest thing at any given time!

Without people putting food in front of them, they would die. People only put food in front of them because they are cute to look at.

How we figure what's cute and what isn't is up for grabs, but generally bunnies are cute.

When I go walking around that lake and see them, I can't fucking believe how cute they are with their little noses and the furry ears and tiny cotton tails. Then they look at me like "PLEASE DON'T EAT ME MR. HAIRLESS APE" all while they are doing something adorable like munch away at grass or something.

If you move too quickly, they also run very fast.

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

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posted 08-02-2003 05:59 AM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Cfalcon whenever I see one of your posts this long I just cringe and exit the topic. But not this time. This time I'll tell you to be more succint.

- - - - -
OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

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posted 08-02-2003 07:29 AM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
In the future, please cringe and exit the topic.
From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mr. K
Racist
Member # 2

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posted 08-02-2003 08:18 AM      Profile for Mr. K   Author's Homepage   Email Mr. K   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Land und Leute: Now, if the girl wasn't cute, the guys at Azure Heights may not pay as much attention to her than if she were cute.

No.

From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Atma
Farting Nudist
Member # 689

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posted 08-02-2003 11:18 AM      Profile for Atma   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Zem:
They are totally harmless, they're of a decent size, and not totally alien to us.

TIM:
There he is!
ARTHUR:
Where?
TIM:
There!
ARTHUR:
What, behind the rabbit?
TIM:
It is the rabbit.
ARTHUR:
You silly sod!
TIM:
What?
ARTHUR:
You got us all worked up!
TIM:
Well, that's no ordinary rabbit!
ARTHUR:
Ohh.
TIM:
That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!
ROBIN:
You tit! I soiled my armour I was so scared!
TIM:
Look, that rabbit's got a vicious streak a mile wide! It's a killer!
GALAHAD:
Get stuffed!
TIM:
He'll do you up a treat, mate.
GALAHAD:
Oh, yeah?
ROBIN:
You mangy Scots git!
TIM:
I'm warning you!
ROBIN:
What's he do, nibble your bum?
TIM:
He's got huge, sharp-- eh-- he can leap about-- look at the bones!
ARTHUR:
Go on, Bors. Chop his head off!
BORS:
Right! Silly little bleeder. One rabbit stew comin' right up!
TIM:
Look!
[squeak]
BORS:
Aaaugh!
[dramatic chord]
[clunk]
ARTHUR:
Jesus Christ!

ATMA:
Therefore Satan exists, as a fluffy pink bunny.

- - - - -
"My name is Atma...
I am pure energy... and as ancient as the cosmos.
Forgotten in the river of time...
I've had an eternity to ponder the meaning of things...
And now I have an answer..."

From: Cinnabar Isle, Long Island, NY | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
dr.steelix
Farting Nudist
Member # 2734

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posted 08-02-2003 12:37 PM      Profile for dr.steelix     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Rabbits are not rodents !

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i am sorry

From: Israel | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
Bulbarita
Farting Nudist
Member # 1744

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posted 08-02-2003 01:23 PM      Profile for Bulbarita     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
ARGUMENT FROM CREATION
(1) If evolution is false, then creationism is true, and therefore God exists.
(2) Evolution can't be true, since I lack the mental capacity to understand it; moreover, to accept its truth would cause me to be uncomfortable
(3) Therefore, God exists.

My favourite. [Big Grin]

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Not enough Swedish girls where I live. - Psybro

Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Zem
Farting Nudist
Member # 3467

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posted 08-02-2003 02:45 PM      Profile for Zem     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Large eyes, small body - prey, it can't hurt you, and you know that instinctively to some degree.

Yes, your parents helped you learn cute. They gave you little bears and bunnies to play with and told you they were cute. It doesn't contradict your "I must survive" instincts, so that's easily believable.

Baby anything? Well, yes, baby anythings can't hurt you, and so they're prey. Prey is very cute. "It would be very easy to exert dominance over it" may be a better way of putting it.

BTW, I'll assume we're talking about mammals, (some) reptiles and birds only, as baby spiders and baby wasps are not cute.

- - - - -
Evil: Statistics, Microsoft, and Telemarketers.

From: Denver, CO | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
GenyaA310
Farting Nudist
Member # 3409

posted 08-02-2003 04:32 PM      Profile for GenyaA310   Email GenyaA310   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE
(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys -- you're obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth." John 3:16.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

This site just boils down to being ridiculous. The above argument is not bad and should not be deemed unintelligence. The argument isn't really that helpful though to those who need the Lord.

- - - - -
You and I have a rendevous with destiny. We can secure for ourselves this, the last best hope that man has to offer or the first steps into a thousand years of darkness. Ronald Reagan

From: Province of Wallachia | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

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posted 08-02-2003 04:37 PM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Dude, are you just disagreeing for the sake of arguement? I mean, toys come in all shapes and forms- bunnies, lions, etc. But for something to be "cute" it has to actually *be* cute- so a lion isn't cute, unless it is small, with big eyes, and generally a baby.

Large eyes, small body - prey, it can't hurt you, and you know that instinctively to some degree.

Yea, that makes sense.

Yes, your parents helped you learn cute. They gave you little bears and bunnies to play with and told you they were cute.

There are defectives that believe the world is flat and that the earth is to young for evolution to be true. Someone, somewhere, would think that things that are not at all cute are, in fact, cute. Someone would be wired backwards- in fact, whole groups of people would be wired backwards.

None of these people exist.

Additionally, I'm pretty sure my parents didn't teach me cute, any more than society told me what was attractive in females.

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Slade_64
chipmunk pr0n author
Member # 804

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posted 08-02-2003 05:09 PM      Profile for Slade_64   Email Slade_64   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I know people who think spiders and snakes are cute...

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Bucket.

From: Funky Town Texas | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
Anthrax
Ultimate Authoritative Power in the Universe
Member # 335

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posted 08-02-2003 08:06 PM      Profile for Anthrax   Author's Homepage   Email Anthrax   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I exit my apartment building to find a discarded hotdog stand a few meters away. There is no one tending the stand nor is anyone indicating ownership. I walk over to the stand.

The hotdog stand is in perfect working order and well-stocked. I claim it as my own and decide that it would be best to bring it to my apartment. I take the relish and bun containers and return to my apartment building.

I push the elevator button and wait for one of the two elevators to arrive. The elevator that arrives is the one that isn't broken, bringing the current score to 198-0 in favor of the functional elevator.

I put the relish and bun containers on my coffee table.

I take the elevator back down. The score is 199-0.

I take the umbrella part from my stand. I have some trouble fitting it through the doorway but it fits after I snap the metal bits that support the umbrella.

I take the elevator upstairs and put the umbrella on the carpet in my apartment. The score is 200-0. Outside I hear a man yelling. I look outside my apartment window to see a distraught man pacing on the sidewalk. I make a note to avoid him as I ride the elevator back down. The score is 201-0.

I return to my hotdog stand and decide to take the hotdog bath and the cooler full of sodas next. As I begin removing the cooler the distraught man I had seen earlier begins shouting at me. The man is one of the many cases of the mentally ill forced to live on the streets. I avert my eyes and begin to take my cooler to my apartment when the homeless man tries to take my cooler away from me. The man continues shouting at me and pulling at my cooler while I try to escape to the safety of my apartment. I check my pocket for my stun-gun, but I left it in its drawer this morning. I punch the derelict in the face and run through my apartment building door.

I take the stairs as the elevator can be slow sometimes and the homeless man was getting up off the sidewalk.

I put the cooler in my kitchen. I look out of the window to see if the man has left but he is slamming on my apartment building door. There are about three fifths of my hotdog stand left out on the sidewalk where it will surely be stolen. I go to my nightstand and take my stun-gun out of the drawer and put it in my pocket.

I take the elevator down. The score is 202-0.

Before I open my apartment building door I take the stun-gun from my pocket and hold it in my left hand. Through the glass on the door I can see the man shouting at me.

I open the door and electrocute him with my stun-gun. His body seizes up but he does not fall down as quickly as I would like so I electrocute him again and then push him. He falls down.

I walk over to my hotdog stand and take the hotdog bath. I take the individually wrapped ketchups and mustards and put them in the bath with the hotdogs and the hotdog water.

I make my way back to my apartment and electrocute the man again before entering.

I take the elevator as the homeless man appears to be having some sort of seizure. I feel a pang of sadness that the city can't treat these poor people and they have to suffer without any medicine, like that poor epileptic schizophrenic that had been bothering me. The score is 203-0.

I put the hotdog bath in my kitchen sink.

I take the elevator down. The score is 204-0.

I make my way to my hotdog stand and realize that there is no way for me to bring the frame of the stand into my apartment building. I say my farewells to my hotdog stand and return to my apartment building. The homeless man is now sleeping in front of my apartment building.

I go back inside my apartment building and take the elevator back to my floor. The score is 205-0.

I go inside my apartment and look for my telephone. It is underneath one of the coushins of my couch.

I call the police and tell them there is a violent homeless man outside my building.

I look out of my apartment window and watch the police arrive. The police surround the man but make no move to arrest him. I continue watching as more police cars show up, and then an ambulence. The police start touching my hotdog stand, while the people who were in the ambulence surround the sleeping homeless man. I find it boring and turn my attention to my television set.

I watch a few television shows and then go to sleep.

I wake up and begin making breakfast.

As breakfast is cooking I look out of my window and notice the neighborhood kids have drawn a picture on the sidewalk in chalk. I can't really tell what it is.

I take a bite out of my breakfast hotdog.

From: Somebody put shit in my pants! | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Psybro
Half Psyduck. Half Slowbro. All cop.
Member # 290

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posted 08-02-2003 08:14 PM      Profile for Psybro   Email Psybro   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Anthrax:
I exit my apartment building to find a discarded hotdog stand a few meters away. There is no one tending the stand nor is anyone indicating ownership. I walk over to the stand.

The hotdog stand is in perfect working order and well-stocked. I claim it as my own and decide that it would be best to bring it to my apartment. I take the relish and bun containers and return to my apartment building.

I push the elevator button and wait for one of the two elevators to arrive. The elevator that arrives is the one that isn't broken, bringing the current score to 198-0 in favor of the functional elevator.

I put the relish and bun containers on my coffee table.

I take the elevator back down. The score is 199-0.

I take the umbrella part from my stand. I have some trouble fitting it through the doorway but it fits after I snap the metal bits that support the umbrella.

I take the elevator upstairs and put the umbrella on the carpet in my apartment. The score is 200-0. Outside I hear a man yelling. I look outside my apartment window to see a distraught man pacing on the sidewalk. I make a note to avoid him as I ride the elevator back down. The score is 201-0.

I return to my hotdog stand and decide to take the hotdog bath and the cooler full of sodas next. As I begin removing the cooler the distraught man I had seen earlier begins shouting at me. The man is one of the many cases of the mentally ill forced to live on the streets. I avert my eyes and begin to take my cooler to my apartment when the homeless man tries to take my cooler away from me. The man continues shouting at me and pulling at my cooler while I try to escape to the safety of my apartment. I check my pocket for my stun-gun, but I left it in its drawer this morning. I punch the derelict in the face and run through my apartment building door.

I take the stairs as the elevator can be slow sometimes and the homeless man was getting up off the sidewalk.

I put the cooler in my kitchen. I look out of the window to see if the man has left but he is slamming on my apartment building door. There are about three fifths of my hotdog stand left out on the sidewalk where it will surely be stolen. I go to my nightstand and take my stun-gun out of the drawer and put it in my pocket.

I take the elevator down. The score is 202-0.

Before I open my apartment building door I take the stun-gun from my pocket and hold it in my left hand. Through the glass on the door I can see the man shouting at me.

I open the door and electrocute him with my stun-gun. His body seizes up but he does not fall down as quickly as I would like so I electrocute him again and then push him. He falls down.

I walk over to my hotdog stand and take the hotdog bath. I take the individually wrapped ketchups and mustards and put them in the bath with the hotdogs and the hotdog water.

I make my way back to my apartment and electrocute the man again before entering.

I take the elevator as the homeless man appears to be having some sort of seizure. I feel a pang of sadness that the city can't treat these poor people and they have to suffer without any medicine, like that poor epileptic schizophrenic that had been bothering me. The score is 203-0.

I put the hotdog bath in my kitchen sink.

I take the elevator down. The score is 204-0.

I make my way to my hotdog stand and realize that there is no way for me to bring the frame of the stand into my apartment building. I say my farewells to my hotdog stand and return to my apartment building. The homeless man is now sleeping in front of my apartment building.

I go back inside my apartment building and take the elevator back to my floor. The score is 205-0.

I go inside my apartment and look for my telephone. It is underneath one of the coushins of my couch.

I call the police and tell them there is a violent homeless man outside my building.

I look out of my apartment window and watch the police arrive. The police surround the man but make no move to arrest him. I continue watching as more police cars show up, and then an ambulence. The police start touching my hotdog stand, while the people who were in the ambulence surround the sleeping homeless man. I find it boring and turn my attention to my television set.

I watch a few television shows and then go to sleep.

I wake up and begin making breakfast.

As breakfast is cooking I look out of my window and notice the neighborhood kids have drawn a picture on the sidewalk in chalk. I can't really tell what it is.

I take a bite out of my breakfast hotdog.

o rly
From: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Zerot
I pay schoolgirls to verbally abuse me.
Member # 1295

Member Rated:
posted 08-02-2003 08:22 PM      Profile for Zerot   Author's Homepage   Email Zerot   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by GenyaA310:
ARGUMENT FROM UNINTELLIGENCE
(1) Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys -- you're obviously very well read. But I read the Bible, and nothing you say can convince me that God does not exist. I feel him in my heart, and you can feel him too, if you'll just ask him into your life. "For God so loved the world that he sent his only begotten son into the world, that whosoever believes in him shall not perish from the earth." John 3:16.
(2) Therefore, God exists.

This site just boils down to being ridiculous. The above argument is not bad and should not be deemed unintelligence. The argument isn't really that helpful though to those who need the Lord.

Read it again. From the proof: Okay, I don't pretend to be as intelligent as you guys...

And does anyone 'need' the Lord?

[ 08-02-2003, 08:23 PM: Message edited by: Zerot ]

From: Lizton, Indiana | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged
Atma
Farting Nudist
Member # 689

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posted 08-02-2003 08:25 PM      Profile for Atma   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
ARGUMENT FROM INSANITY:
(1) Atma exists, as evidenced by this board
(2) Atma claims to be a Dragon.
(3) BoF4 says Dragons are Gods.
(4) You have not met Atma, nor have you seen any pics of him, so you cannot disprove his claim.
(4) You have not met any Dragons, so you cannot disprove the beliefe that they are Gods.
(5) Threfore Atma is a Dragon.
(6) Therefore Dragons really are Gods.
(7) Therefore Atma is a God.
(8) Therefore God exists.

*RUNS* [Eek!]

- - - - -
"My name is Atma...
I am pure energy... and as ancient as the cosmos.
Forgotten in the river of time...
I've had an eternity to ponder the meaning of things...
And now I have an answer..."

From: Cinnabar Isle, Long Island, NY | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
JohtoMaster
Farting Nudist
Member # 1023

Member Rated:
posted 08-03-2003 12:51 AM      Profile for JohtoMaster   Author's Homepage   Email JohtoMaster   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Land und Leute:
What there really a Gay Day parade? WTF?

Yes. Every year, Disney holds an anual "Gay Day", in which a bunch of gay people come to Disney, and they all wear red t-shirts. Unfortunate are the families that come on Gay Day and do not know about it. The newspaper usually does a story on it, and it showed pictures of some of the gay guys walking in the 3:00 parade. So yes Virginia, there is a Gay Parade.

- - - - -
Oh, and it's not "newbies", it's "proles". Nothing wrong with being new to the game if you're not stuck in the working classes. Hey, if we're going to be elitist, may as well go the whole hog and refer to the idiots as a lower social rank... - CatGonk at SoaG

From: Valparaiso, IN, USA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7

Member Rated:
posted 08-03-2003 01:26 AM      Profile for Rolken   Author's Homepage   Email Rolken   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Boodabonzi: The universe is infinite. It has infinite possibilities.

I don't know where you pulled this nonsense from.

Zerot: And does anyone 'need' the Lord?

Does anyone 'need' three meals a day? No, but it can make life more pleasant.

- - - - -
[insert sig here]

From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

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posted 08-03-2003 12:50 PM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I dunno I just thought I'd post. Sorry. I'll never post again.

- - - - -
OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

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posted 08-03-2003 06:07 PM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Yes. Every year, Disney holds an anual "Gay Day",

This is actually a misconception, I think: it's the gays that hold their "Gay Days" (I think there's a few of them)

Disney, being a corporation, would want to remain neutral on the matter- so they would never think of having "Gay Days". But, for the same reason, there is absolutely nothing they can do to stop it if they wanted to, so their official position is pretty neutral, I think.

in which a bunch of gay people come to Disney, and they all wear red t-shirts. Unfortunate are the families that come on Gay Day and do not know about it.

Well, not necessarilly- if you are uncomfortable around an amusement park full of fags and dykes, then yea, it probably sucks (Personally, I'd be a bit uncomfortable, but I'm not everyone).

there is a Gay Parade.

...well, not exactly. There isn't a gay parade (unless Disney changed their policy), but I'd bet my left nut that any parade that the fags can become involved in, they do.

After all, parades are pretty fucking gay.

The down side to all this is the fundamentalist groups who in their mind belong to a religion that loves everyone who isn't gay. They try to organize boycotts aimed at Disney to show disapproval- but Disney knows their shit enough so that they won't try any kind of action that will make much noise about it- in other words, they don't want everyone on earth associating them with Gay Days, but they'd rather have that then actively oppose an entire group of people based on sexual orientation.

Oh, I once read a piece written by an average guy who was there at the same time as they gays with his family: he said he was fine with it, but he had to buy a new shirt right away, because his old one was red.

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Psybro
Half Psyduck. Half Slowbro. All cop.
Member # 290

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posted 08-03-2003 07:00 PM      Profile for Psybro   Email Psybro   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Is this Gay Day in April? Because I believe I may have been in Orlando when the 1997 one was on, apparently there was a gay convention in our hotel at the time. As I was an innocent 10 year old at the time my parents were actually given the option of moving to another hotel when we arrived, which was pretty funny. Being in a lift with a handful of sweaty old men who may or may not have been deeply, deeply gay was a character-building experience.
From: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
IceHawk78
NOBODY IMPORTANT
Member # 1699

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posted 08-03-2003 10:04 PM      Profile for IceHawk78   Author's Homepage   Email IceHawk78   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
quote:




[ 08-03-2003, 10:17 PM: Message edited by: IceHawk78 ]

From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Zem
Farting Nudist
Member # 3467

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posted 08-03-2003 11:22 PM      Profile for Zem     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I think it pretty much has to suck for families who don't know. It's not a matter of being around gay people, it's a matter of going to a place that is supposed to have an atmosphere of Mickey Mouse and It's A Small World, getting there finding it's an atmosphere of sex. It's one thing to be around people who are gay... quite another to be in the middle of a gay celebration. For many kids, it would suck if it was heterosexual parade... A good Disney age is an age where they don't really know much about sex, and they also love to ask questions nonstop.

Couldn't stop it? Disney would have no problem saying "Get the hell out." They may have a problem with individuals, but once they assemble, they can easily kick them out. I can't imagine they're also terribly afraid of gay boycotts... while the gays would like to think they'd lose 10%, we know that's not the case.... plus, it's a place for kids, and we all know that while gay couples often acquire children through different means, the vast majority of children have straight parents.

Disney supports Gay Days. Personally, I don't think they should. Not because I'm a homophobe or anything, I just think Disney World isn't the place to talk about who you like having sex with. But, I also hate Disney World to begin with, so it doesn't really matter.

- - - - -
Evil: Statistics, Microsoft, and Telemarketers.

From: Denver, CO | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7

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posted 08-04-2003 12:26 PM      Profile for Rolken   Author's Homepage   Email Rolken   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Yeah, maybe they could order the Gay Dayers out, but what's the advantage? Best case, nobody really cares except the handful of folks the gays were offending; worst case, they get plastered in the news as homophobes. It's not like that 10% (or less, as we apparently all know) is the only demographic that supports gay rights either. And do you really think they'd be content with a lame "well you were organizing" excuse?
From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Zem
Farting Nudist
Member # 3467

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posted 08-04-2003 12:42 PM      Profile for Zem     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Disney wouldn't be hurt by saying "We don't want organized homosexual groups in Disney World." They wouldn't be hurt by saying "We don't mind `homo', but we don't support `sexual' in our park." The percentage of people who would fault them for saying "We want to avoid a sexual atmosphere in our park" is so small as to insignficant, and besides that they're stupid.

Yes, a lot of people support gay rights. It's not about gay rights, and it's not about Disney having a problem with two guys holding hands. It's about taking over a family fun park with signs about sexual preference.

Perhaps I'm wrong. Well, obviously it would hurt them now if they stopped because gays would go on about how Disney hates them. But if they hadn't done it to begin with, someone's protest would have been in a 2 inch column on the 6th page of the paper. Yeah, some people would be infuriated. Do you think it would hurt their business? I don't. I don't think the sort of people who would be infuriated by that are, for the most part, the same sort of people that take their kids to Disney World.

I had a similar conversation with a fellow about ten years ago. It was a parade. Not a gay parade, but a Thanksgiving Day parade where the gays demanded they be allowed a float. I thought this was awful. I support people finding some form of pride in being gay, and trying to get the message out that they exist, they're not going anywhere, and they're not hurting anyone. But I believe the times and places for those messages are not Thanksgiving day parades nor Disney World.

- - - - -
Evil: Statistics, Microsoft, and Telemarketers.

From: Denver, CO | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

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posted 08-04-2003 03:03 PM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Disney wouldn't be hurt by saying "We don't want organized homosexual groups in Disney World." They wouldn't be hurt by saying "We don't mind `homo', but we don't support `sexual' in our park." The percentage of people who would fault them for saying "We want to avoid a sexual atmosphere in our park" is so small as to insignficant, and besides that they're stupid.

Well, it isn't like the gays are going there to fuck or something. "we don't support 'sexual'" wouldn't fly- the only "sexual" part is what you give them, as an observer. I'm sure that any of them behaving in a lewd manner are summarily ejected, just as anyone would be.

"We want to avoid a sexual atmosphere" wouldn't work for that reason. When gays and lesbians gather, it isn't primarily about sex- they consider themself some kind of club or something, based on shared interests, etc.

I mean, if all of Azure gathered, could they tell us "we want to avoid a video game atmsophere" if we weren't playing any video games (even if we played Smash all night long in the hotels)? No, of course not.

It's about taking over a family fun park with signs about sexual preference

I actually agree that this would be churlish- but it's my impression that the only "sign" is that they all wear red shirts, not that they make a big nuisance of themselves or anything.

As long as they obey the same rules everyone else does, there's no problem.

What if the Republicans decided to have little meet there? Could they kick them out? I mean, it would be a shame for a family park to become a political deal too, right?

Yeah, some people would be infuriated. Do you think it would hurt their business?

Well, it wouldn't hurt fancy restaurants to post a "No Blacks" sign to keep those uppity negroes out, now would it? In fact, it might even help business...

Not a gay parade, but a Thanksgiving Day parade where the gays demanded they be allowed a float

Here I back you 100%, assuming the rest of the floats were about Thanksgiving and things related to that. What do you call a bunch of gay activists? A political party? They aren't a corporation, that's for sure. Are they a club, like the Kiwanis? Because if *those* people had a float, I dunno.

But yea, that's just stupid. Thanksgiving is a national holiday, and doesn't have anything to do with medicine, computers, physics, plastic bottles, halogen lighting, mathematics, Linux, or homosexuality.

I do sort of wish that there were "heterosexual crusaders" that would make a parody noise sometimes when garbage like this goes down.

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Zem
Farting Nudist
Member # 3467

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posted 08-04-2003 03:16 PM      Profile for Zem     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
If they walk around in red shirts holding hands, that's just super dandy. If they do that in large numbers, hunky dory.

If that's all they do, I'm fine with it... but I'm picturing banners and chants.

- - - - -
Evil: Statistics, Microsoft, and Telemarketers.

From: Denver, CO | Registered: Jul 2003  |  IP: Logged
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

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posted 08-04-2003 03:22 PM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'm pretty sure they'd get kicked out for political display... or at least, they could, and I wouldn't raise a finger in their defense.
From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mr. K
Racist
Member # 2

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posted 08-05-2003 09:27 AM      Profile for Mr. K   Author's Homepage   Email Mr. K   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Zem: Disney supports Gay Days.

No, it doesn't.

It simply doesn't prevent homosexuals from coming to the park. They don't ban blacks from visiting on MLK day either.

You guys obviously don't know what happens on Gay Days. There aren't fag parades or rallies or signs. I went during a Gay Day with a total homophobe once and he didn't even notice. (Later, in the parking lot, a buncha fags invited us to a party and gave us a flyer and he said "Those guys seemed awfully friendly!". Only then did we make fun of him, because we didn't want him to be a dork in the park.) Not all the homos even wear red shirts, and even if they did, you probably wouldn't notice.

Disney prevents hetero couples from making serious public displays of affection, and they'd do the same with the queers, if it came down to it.

Anyway, "Gay Days" just involve lots of homos going to the park on the same day, which, seriously, happens every day anyway.

If they were gonna ban anyway, they should ban those noisy fucking tribes of Brazilians who decend on the parks in herds over 100, wearing all the same shirt, clogging walkways, singing together loud as all fuck, and being generally disruptive. Those idiots suck.

From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
pkthunder
I look like your mom.
Member # 67

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posted 08-05-2003 10:06 AM      Profile for pkthunder   Author's Homepage   Email pkthunder   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Mr. K:clogging walkways,

They also tend to walk clog-ways.

From: Broomfield, CO | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged


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