Author
|
Topic: What is the point of masturbation?
|
Artie Cuno
Linkin125473457539
Member # 1205
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-16-2003 10:41 PM
No, seriously, what's the point? Tried it, didn't get any pleasure from it, decided I was doing it wrong, tried again a different way, same result, gave up on the whole mess. So. What are the whys and hows of masturbation? For you, personally, I mean. . . . Also where do you do it?
- - - - - Piss off not the kittens, lest they claw your balls off.
From: A box in a swamp. With your sister. | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
10,000Lb.Snorlax
loves long time.
Member # 13
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-16-2003 10:45 PM
So you didn't find an orgasm pleasureable? I find that oxymoronic.
From: Denver | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-16-2003 10:48 PM
Hmm. Well, I hear it works differently if you're a girl, so you're probably asking the wrong people. But if I understand it right, mostly it involves rubbing your clit. Preferably with something which vibrates. [ 07-16-2003, 10:53 PM: Message edited by: Rolken ]
- - - - - [insert sig here]
From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Artie Cuno
Linkin125473457539
Member # 1205
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-16-2003 11:32 PM
I'm starting to wish I had bought a RumblePak for my N64... Ah, well. You still didn't say where YOU people do it, or why. Or whether you eat your sperm, like veloS. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
- - - - - Piss off not the kittens, lest they claw your balls off.
From: A box in a swamp. With your sister. | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
FlameBait
Farting Nudist
Member # 235
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-16-2003 11:48 PM
I do it right in front of my computer downstairs (which is a dangerous place, right beside the stairs and garage door, a glass slide-door to outside and the front door at the top of the aformentioned staircase). Yeah, this one. I used to do it because it felt good, but now it's just kinda habit.
Eating sperm? My ex-GF made me once ("Why should I do it if you won't?"), but it's not something I'd make part of my normal diet. Heh.
On a side note: My ex tried to use the rumble pack to get off once, but we found out it didn't really have enough power. So I went and got one of those 3rd party rumble packs with the vibration levels. Turn that thing on high then pop in Extreme-G and constantly bump into walls and you'll be having some fun. Yes siree.
- - - - - "The preceding post may have contained profanity, obscenity, racial slurs, and/or evidence of spamming. By reading this statement, you devoid the right to warn/ban the user based on the above post."
From: Nashville, TN, USA | Registered: Apr 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-16-2003 11:59 PM
I would say the purpose of masturbation is simply to satisfy your sexual urges without actually having sex. Some say it's healthy. Some say it's evil. But basically it boils down to the fact that it feels good.
There are several avenues for receiving sexual pleasure outside of a healthy, mature, concentual relationship with another human (usually of the opposite sex), but most of them are illegal or looked down upon by society.
Let's weigh the pros and cons:
Pros
- You satisfy your sexual desires
- You show physical love for your partner by satisfying their sexual desires
- You procreate and have a son or daughter
Cons- You procreate and have an unwanted son or daughter
- STDs
- Jailtime for rape, pedophilia, or prostitution
- It's expensive
- Your faith looks down on it outside of marriage
Seeing as the cons outweigh the pros, it's better to just whack it or finger yourself in private, unless you're mature and willing enough to go for the real thing in a responsible manner. [ 07-17-2003, 12:06 AM: Message edited by: Ferquin ]
- - - - - Ferquin N.C. Root The Ferquinarium
From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 12:12 AM
You still didn't say where YOU people do it, or why.
I don't.
From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Artie Cuno
Linkin125473457539
Member # 1205
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 12:15 AM
Yay! Ferquin is the first to divine the purpose of this topic. Instant five. Thank you for your sanity, Ferq. Honorable thumbs-ups and a five also go to FlameBait, for reading the topic and answering truthfully. Again, bravo. Keep up the good work, chappies!
- - - - - Piss off not the kittens, lest they claw your balls off.
From: A box in a swamp. With your sister. | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 12:20 AM
Okay, to answer the other question, I do it in front of the computer, late at night, if I'm really bored. Why? Because the Internet is the best source of pornography and I'm cheap and horny.
quote: Yay! Ferquin is the first to divine the purpose of this topic. Instant five. Thank you for your sanity, Ferq.
No prob. I feel that being a fat, ugly, unloved virgin, has given me a unique outsider's perspective on romance and sex that only eunochs and other castrated peoples could share. Well, not the actual act of sex being inexperienced and all, but on why we would want to have it. Being without sex has made me wax philosophical on the subject throughout my twenty-six years on this planet. [ 07-17-2003, 01:34 AM: Message edited by: Ferquin ]
- - - - - Ferquin N.C. Root The Ferquinarium
From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
AnnieKat
Suicidal Failure
Member # 3202
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 02:06 AM
Rolks: Well, except when you're playing Pokemon on the toilet...
Artie: I definitely know what you mean. Practice makes perfect... also, what Icy said about pics? Forget it. Pics generally don't work well for chicks. Get some nice verbal smut, preferably with decent character development. If you're into dark fantasy, Anne Rice does some OK stuff, especially under her pennames.
Do Not Admit You Go Here
That's a good link for technique... also try:
Sensuality.org
That's about all I can tell you... if all else fails, get one of those hand-held showerheads. Ooooo.
Vibes are way way overrated. Plus they eventually make it harder to get off any other way. If you still want to go that direction, Spencer's Gifts carries a little one labeled a "pocket massager". Cute little battery-powered bullet vibe. My personal recommendation is the Rabbit, but since the price is a leetle steep ($86.00), you may want to use something less expensive... the Hitachi Magic Wand is well-recommended ($50.00), or the Lovely Ball ($19.00). Of course, to get any of these, you have to be eighteen. If that's a problem, most stores sell "personal massagers" in the OTC medicine section. You prolly won't even get weird looks from the staff. For sheer discretion, of course, you can't beat the Lipstick Vibe- it looks exactly like a tube of red lipstick ($22.00).
This is a great shop (it's clicks and bricks): Toys in Babeland
And, of course, if you're veloS... XXX [ 07-17-2003, 02:59 AM: Message edited by: AnnieKat ]
- - - - - aתּņĩềκẢ†~ nθW |’m @ r33| ķıťŧŷ
Anthrax, will you marry me?
From: Anthrax's Love Nest | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
IceHawk78
NOBODY IMPORTANT
Member # 1699
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 02:08 AM
Considering as how I'm possibly one of the people who pushed you over the edge to "just do it" I suppose I should reply.
Where: Generally in my chair in front of the computer, or if I'm safe, I'll load a movie or two or a slideshow of pics, and lie on the bed and take it slow for maximum pleasure benefit.
Why: If I've got the time to do it right, then it's because I'm bored and it feels better than sitting on my ass. It has become habit, a bit, as well. Occasionally I'll start unconsciously rubbing myself while talking to someone without even noticing it, and if I'm fairly secure, then if I'm "in the mood" then I'll finish it off to get "out of the mood."
As for technique, I must concur with Rolks, you were probably doing it wrong. This guy: might be able to help, but two or three of your own fingers should work fairly well. A couple of tips: 1) Make sure both that you are already wet in the nether regions, and that your hand is already wet, most likely from your mouth (the fingers from the mouth, that is.) 2) You probably want to try different motions, such as rotating your hands, pumping the fingers in and out, or just focussing on the clit. Which way works best is different for eveyone, so you just gotta try 'em all. 3) I can't remember a third tip, sorry.
From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
GenyaA310
Farting Nudist
Member # 3409
|
posted 07-17-2003 02:25 AM
I thought this thread was gonna be a joke or something. This is the most disgusting discussion that I've ever seen.
- - - - - You and I have a rendevous with destiny. We can secure for ourselves this, the last best hope that man has to offer or the first steps into a thousand years of darkness. Ronald Reagan
From: Province of Wallachia | Registered: Jun 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Uiru
Sketch Molester
Member # 437
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 02:36 AM
I want to see the contents of AnnieKat's private message, personally. ~Uiru
- - - - - TIDUDSOFIEIHUGHEXXXC: "maybe he will let you touch his blow up do"
AFRO NOOOOOOO!!!
From: the floating castle of Newfoundland | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 02:36 AM

There. I made it funnier. Happy?
- - - - - Ferquin N.C. Root The Ferquinarium
From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
AnnieKat
Suicidal Failure
Member # 3202
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 02:47 AM
quote: Originally posted by Uiru: I want to see the contents of AnnieKat's private message, personally. ~Uiru
You wish.
- - - - - aתּņĩềκẢ†~ nθW |’m @ r33| ķıťŧŷ
Anthrax, will you marry me?
From: Anthrax's Love Nest | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Uiru
Sketch Molester
Member # 437
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 02:50 AM
I do, actually. ~Uiru
- - - - - TIDUDSOFIEIHUGHEXXXC: "maybe he will let you touch his blow up do"
AFRO NOOOOOOO!!!
From: the floating castle of Newfoundland | Registered: May 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 03:26 AM
How about a private massage? 
...
BWAHAHAHA! Sorry, I couldn't resist an obvious pun!
- - - - - Ferquin N.C. Root The Ferquinarium
From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Brayze
Farting Nudist
Member # 1286
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 03:29 AM
One of the things that guys don't seem to understand is that, for girls, sex is largely cerebral. You need to have a fair degree of mental excitement to get it going downstairs. Also being emotional at the time helps. Try reading a romantic book with a few sexy scenes or whatnot. If you're not even getting a warm feeling or an enhanced sensitivity to touch, you are probably totally not into it. And also, it can take a while, but sometimes it's nice to draw it out.
From: Lunar Palace ver. 3.1 | Registered: Dec 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mentar the Malady Monkey
worst username ever
Member # 1182
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 04:04 AM
Dude Icehawk, no one in their fucking mind wants to know how you (or any of you other pogeymanz freaks) whack it.
Dunno about the rest of you, but it helps me sleep.
- - - - - WHAT.
From: Pandemonium, HL, Hades | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
veloS
8=D~~O:
Member # 2636
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 05:16 AM
FlameBait= 5.
Anniekat= 1.
Ferquin= 3.
Uiru= 4.
Artie Cuno= 2.
In no particular order.
- - - - - www.mightyrhapsody.com
From: Amsterdam | Registered: Feb 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 07:05 AM
8=D~~O:
- - - - - OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...
From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
|
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 09:04 AM
Okay, I give. What's the gag with the numbers?
- - - - - Ferquin N.C. Root The Ferquinarium
From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Fluorine
SMELLY BUTT
Member # 2904
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 11:07 AM
I AM MASTURBATING RIGHT NOW
Registered: Jun 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
PikaBlade
I AM A GIRL
Member # 1039
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 11:07 AM
To those of you who answered this topic seriously (and Artie of course for starting the topic), thank you, and you each get 5s if you haven't already. I was kinda wondering about the same thing myself.
- - - - - ~*Pikablade*~ "Truly, if there is evil in the world, it lies within the hearts of mankind." -Tales of Phantasia
From: Roanoke, VA | Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
AnnieKat
Suicidal Failure
Member # 3202
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 11:08 PM
quote: Originally posted by Ferquin: Okay, I give. What's the gag with the numbers?
It's a listing of how lame you are, with one being the least lame, and five being the most lame.
Anyone who contradicts me is wrong.
- - - - - aתּņĩềκẢ†~ nθW |’m @ r33| ķıťŧŷ
Anthrax, will you marry me?
From: Anthrax's Love Nest | Registered: Jan 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Donald
Bob the Builder
Member # 1551
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-17-2003 11:49 PM
Masturbation makes Bob Barker happy because we help control the kitten population.
From: In your girl's panties | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Artie Cuno
Linkin125473457539
Member # 1205
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-18-2003 12:44 AM
And here I thought all I would get were flames.... woah. I now officially know more about masturbating than I EVER expected to. Or wanted to, for that matter. Still, thanks.
- - - - - Piss off not the kittens, lest they claw your balls off.
From: A box in a swamp. With your sister. | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Dweedle
My hands and feet are mangos
Member # 1209
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-18-2003 01:03 PM
I'm hungry
- - - - - the only way to get pass this will be to commit suicune
From: second of all, Quagmire's not really a bad guy! | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Artie Cuno
Linkin125473457539
Member # 1205
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-18-2003 02:00 PM
Eat your foot, then.
From: A box in a swamp. With your sister. | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
SDShamshel
Farting Nudist
Member # 791
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-18-2003 11:46 PM
You lack imagination.
You meant in plural form.
From: Tokyo-3 | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-19-2003 12:28 AM
Eat yer feet! Ya can't have any puddin' if ye don' eat yer feet!
- - - - - Ferquin N.C. Root The Ferquinarium
From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mewone
I have a pokemon as my username. I mean, come on.
Member # 1694
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-19-2003 12:56 AM
How does a Koffing masturbate?
From: Azure Heights | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Dark_Herakurosu
Farting Nudist
Member # 1677
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-19-2003 01:37 AM
I AM KILLING KITTENS RIGHT NOW!!
Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Barrierd
I have a colony of shrimp living in my bladder
Member # 3132
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-19-2003 04:48 AM
quote: Originally posted by Artie Cuno: No, seriously, what's the point? Tried it, didn't get any pleasure from it, decided I was doing it wrong, tried again a different way, same result, gave up on the whole mess. So. What are the whys and hows of masturbation? For you, personally, I mean.
You are probably not doing it completely correctly. Another (yet another) masturbation website is Jackin' World. It is more for the boys, but there is a section for girlies. Also (and I really doubt this) you may just not be ready. I don't think you're very young (likely my age, anyway) but I know that when I was little and first started out, it was okay but the orgasm hurt like a bitch. It's now though, but I actually thought that when people in movies groaned/whatever during climax, it was really moan of pain. ... .... ... It made sense at the time!
Your situation is probably just inexperience or whatever. You say you "tried it", did you feel like you wanted to, or did you just want to see what all the fuss is about? Because when I try maturbating when I'm not in the mood, it usually ends disappointingly.
So: Why do it? A need, or a boredom. Both happen rather frequently, anyway. Also, I sometimes cannot for the life of me get to sleep without doing it. It pisses my off, but it's not the worst habit .
How do I do it? Haven't I already opened up enough of my soul?! Well, it's different for everyone, and especially different for males & females (if that wasn't obvious enough). I always feel like I go on and on, so I'm trying to cut down.
quote: Artie: Also where do you do it?
...Where ever possible? More specifically (without starting to ramble again): at various locales around my house, namely at the computer, while watching TV, and in bed.
So, is that what you were looking for? I am far less uptight and more and than some other weenies out there, so I'll help answer questions if you have 'em.
That is, unless they have something to do with women. They are not particularly my "strong point". ![[Smile]](smile.gif)
- - - - - Where are my bitches
From: Victoria, B.C., Canada | Registered: Nov 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-19-2003 03:00 PM
I heard something a while back that it's important for men to occasionally jack off to keep the prostate healthy. Is this true or false?
- - - - - Ferquin N.C. Root The Ferquinarium
From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
pkthunder
I look like your mom.
Member # 67
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-19-2003 04:15 PM
When I was in high school, I used to experiment with phallic objects from around the house, like candles and such, but I didn't really understand the point of it, because I certainly wasn't gettin any pleasure from it.
It wasn't until after I had acheived orgasm through sex-play with my boyfriend a couple years later that I tried tackling the masturbation thing again. I had learned by this time that the key was to focus on the clit. I had also learned by this time what it truly meant to be horny, and I didn't actually attempt masturbation unless I was.
Oh, and a very little known fact about me and masturbating (I don't even think cfalcon knows). The first time I got myself off was in the resthouse at a campground in Cherokee, North Carolina.
The fun didn't really start until about four years ago when cfalcon bought me my vibrator. Well, he actually bought two that day, this pretty expensive Butterfly thingy that was a piece of crap, and then a six-dollar "finger" massager that he was going to hook up to his microprocessor chip from class or something and attempt to program... I think. Something like that. Anyway, after I discovered the butterfly thing was shit and wasn't going to get me off, it got lost under my bed for many months until I moved and then I just threw it away. But sometime while I was over at cfalcon's place, I decided to try using the six-dollar cheapy thingy because he had yet to cannibalize it or something, and it was wonderful! So easy to use, and it got me off in no time. So I stole it. Its been pleasuring me ever since. If you see me mention Buzz or Buzz Lightyear on this forum, that's what I'm talking about. Best six dollars you can spend.
In fact, I just used Buzz a few minutes ago. I always masturbate in bed. I guess sometimes I do it on the couch in the living room while watching a movie if no one else is around. I hardly ever do it out of boredom anymore. Usually only when I'm horny.
From: Broomfield, CO | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Donald
Bob the Builder
Member # 1551
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-19-2003 08:33 PM
quote: Originally posted by Ferquin: I heard something a while back that it's important for men to occasionally jack off to keep the prostate healthy. Is this true or false?
Check the link MK posted, masturbation can apparently help prevent prostate cancer.
From: In your girl's panties | Registered: Feb 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
Member # 1040
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-19-2003 09:17 PM
Barrierd, I don't mean to offend you or anything, but are you a guy or a girl?
- - - - - theclaw: I can't rate myself!!
Registered: Oct 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Pornbot
I AM A GAY FAGGOT GAY
Member # 1321
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-19-2003 09:51 PM
I masturbate so the ever growing chemicals in my brain that urge me to rape don't seize control of my body
From: Auschwitz | Registered: Dec 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-19-2003 10:39 PM
Hmm... I guess I helped fight off prostate cancer last night... Hot damn! 
- - - - - Ferquin N.C. Root The Ferquinarium
From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003
| IP: Logged
|
|
Porygone
The Goatse Man
Member # 805
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-19-2003 11:57 PM
quote: Originally posted by Land und Leute: Barrierd, I don't mean to offend you or anything, but are you a guy or a girl?
IIRC, Barry's a guy.
Who happens to be openly homosexual.
Not that there's anything wrong with it.
- - - - - YOU'RE WINNER!
From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Barrierd
I have a colony of shrimp living in my bladder
Member # 3132
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-20-2003 12:40 AM
quote: Originally posted by Land und Leute: Barrierd, I don't mean to offend you or anything, but are you a guy or a girl?
No offense taken. I didn't realize quite how gender- non-specific I was until just now.
...Although, I did refer to the female gender in third- person plural. ![[Trash Bear]](graemlins/trashbear.gif)
- - - - - Where are my bitches
From: Victoria, B.C., Canada | Registered: Nov 2002
| IP: Logged
|
|
Artie Cuno
Linkin125473457539
Member # 1205
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-20-2003 01:19 PM
Now I know why people masturbate. That is all. ![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
- - - - - Piss off not the kittens, lest they claw your balls off.
From: A box in a swamp. With your sister. | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Porygone
The Goatse Man
Member # 805
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-20-2003 02:02 PM
You mean it wasn't obvious before?
- - - - - YOU'RE WINNER!
From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
Artie Cuno
Linkin125473457539
Member # 1205
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-20-2003 08:38 PM
I'm not THAT observant, Porny... say, whatever happened to Porygone the sex machine? Does he still exist? Post on AH? He was funny. ![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
- - - - - Piss off not the kittens, lest they claw your balls off.
From: A box in a swamp. With your sister. | Registered: Nov 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|
IceHawk78
NOBODY IMPORTANT
Member # 1699
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-21-2003 01:11 AM
quote: Originally posted by Artie Cuno: Now I know why people masturbate. That is all.
Hehe, little Z got herself off...
From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2001
| IP: Logged
|
|
Mr. K
Racist
Member # 2
Member Rated:
|
posted 07-22-2003 02:55 PM
Seriously, asking why people masturbate is like asking why people eat food. It's a primal urge.
If you don't have it, you should probably feel lucky.
Also, I always liked that one comedian's rap about girls being "horny".
He said it's cute when chicks claim to be horny, but you can't really take them seriously because, when they say they're horny, that's how we feel when we're not even thinkin' about it.
From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000
| IP: Logged
|
|