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Author Topic: I lost my virginity today.
Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
Member # 1040

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posted 04-24-2003 11:08 PM      Profile for Land und Leute   Email Land und Leute   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Seriously.

But I'm tired, so more on this later, if you are interested. If not, start crackin' those jokes...

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theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
starCaliber
is evil and also MewtwoSama
Member # 268

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posted 04-24-2003 11:21 PM      Profile for starCaliber   Email starCaliber   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
fucking a girl isn't that big a deal when you're a lesbian

well, i guess it is

on a scale of 1 to 4, i rate this thread a Q

what

edit: the Q is for queer [Smile]

[ 04-24-2003, 11:28 PM: Message edited by: starCaliber ]

From: San Francisco, CA | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445

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posted 04-24-2003 11:28 PM      Profile for MK     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Congrats Land und Leute...

I haven't even gotten my first kiss yet, when I do they'll be a topic though...

Rest up, and ya gotta post details man! How old is she, what'd she look like, how was it, etc...

P.S. Is she into games? Make her dress up like Dark Magician Girl [Razz]

Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged
starCaliber
is evil and also MewtwoSama
Member # 268

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posted 04-24-2003 11:29 PM      Profile for starCaliber   Email starCaliber   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
sup MK how's the wife and kids
From: San Francisco, CA | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
starCaliber
is evil and also MewtwoSama
Member # 268

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posted 04-24-2003 11:32 PM      Profile for starCaliber   Email starCaliber   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
i'm...a-workin' on the raaaaaailroooooooad. alllllll teh live-long dayzzzz.
From: San Francisco, CA | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269

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posted 04-24-2003 11:32 PM      Profile for Ferquin   Author's Homepage   Email Ferquin   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Congrats. I hope you find it again soon.

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Ferquin N.C. Root
The Ferquinarium

From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
Porygone
The Goatse Man
Member # 805

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posted 04-24-2003 11:34 PM      Profile for Porygone   Email Porygone   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I lost my library card last week.

- - - - -
YOU'RE WINNER!

From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
PeePants
Remember me?
Member # 1502

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posted 04-24-2003 11:34 PM      Profile for PeePants   Email PeePants   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Would it be considered irony if his virginity was stolen and not lost? Or is that Karma?
From: Virginia | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged
starCaliber
is evil and also MewtwoSama
Member # 268

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posted 04-24-2003 11:35 PM      Profile for starCaliber   Email starCaliber   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
woo woo, triple post score

chicks dig guys who make triple posts [Cool]

edit: fuck

From: San Francisco, CA | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Dweedle
My hands and feet are mangos
Member # 1209

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posted 04-24-2003 11:37 PM      Profile for Dweedle   Email Dweedle   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
ENUFFA YO JIBBA JABBA

STAY IN SKOOL

DON'T DO DRUGS

STAY IN DRUGS

DON'T DO SKOOL

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the only way to get pass this will be to commit suicune

From: second of all, Quagmire's not really a bad guy! | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
Anthrax
Ultimate Authoritative Power in the Universe
Member # 335

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posted 04-24-2003 11:39 PM      Profile for Anthrax   Author's Homepage   Email Anthrax   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A few years ago someone made this exact same thread and I said "to a goat." so that's what I'm gonna do here.

To a goat.

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She told The Associated Press she first realized her son was mentally ill in 1996 when he killed her oldest child, a 25-year-old woman who suffered from cerebral palsy, by beating her with a dumbbell.

From: Somebody put shit in my pants! | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Tghost
Farting Nudist
Member # 1418

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posted 04-25-2003 01:07 AM      Profile for Tghost   Author's Homepage   Email Tghost   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
requisite "and then posted about it on a pogeymonz forum" post.
From: Auckland, New Zealand | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged
EspeonNidoking
warcraft 3
Member # 2028

posted 04-25-2003 01:08 AM      Profile for EspeonNidoking   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
I haven't even gotten my first kiss yet, when I do they'll be a topic though...

you're older than me MK.

you're older than me.

just give up, there's no hope for you.

- - - - -
"Yeah, my pubic hair has dollar signs trimmed in it!

$$Bling Bling$$" ~Jman

From: Summit,New Jersey, Tampa, Fl, and Rindge, NH | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

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posted 04-25-2003 07:12 AM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
what constitutes losing virginity if there were no penises involved?

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OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Turbo X
Farting Nudist
Member # 1808

posted 04-25-2003 08:57 AM      Profile for Turbo X     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Boodabonzi:
what constitutes losing virginity if there were no penises involved?

Finding the nearest dog...

[ 04-25-2003, 08:58 AM: Message edited by: Turbo X ]

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I mean, goldfish lamp wallpaper skeleton in my Bavarian Star or what? Flowers mirror computer Smurfs every time Moses flies playing cards in or around Paris.

From: N-town, PA, U.S. | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
ceoalex316
Time for the flaming leprosy party
Member # 338

posted 04-25-2003 11:55 AM      Profile for ceoalex316     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by EspeonNidoking:
quote:
I haven't even gotten my first kiss yet, when I do they'll be a topic though...

you're older than me MK.

you're older than me.

just give up, there's no hope for you.

I think he is scared of the germs.

What's Rolken's excuse?

From: NYC | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Lark84
My skeleton is made of creamy nougat.
Member # 1186

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posted 04-25-2003 12:46 PM      Profile for Lark84     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You know, I haven't had a kiss either... I'm eight-fucking-teen year old.

I have realised that there is no hope for me. That's why I have completely given up on girls, instead I play videogames and masturbate to Krystal hentai three-four times a day to stop the pain in my heart.

Seriously though, I am so sure that I'll never get some, so instead of feeling sad for it, I've just decided that I won't care. I'm terrible with girls anyway, so if I tried, I'd just fail over and over and get really low self-esteem and probably end up comitting suicide. Why do that, when I can just ignore it? I don't know what it feels like to fuck someone, thus I can't miss the feeling, if you were going to say "It feels great to fuck someone".

Losing one's virginity and then bragging about it on an ex-pokémon forum now home to lost ex-pokémon geeks is hilarious. I'd do the very same thing.

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Triple C
Colonel Cock Chomper
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posted 04-25-2003 02:38 PM      Profile for Triple C     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
i'm having sex right now
From: Dudleyville | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Bowser
I'm such a moron that I keep an axe behind me at all times.
Member # 2037

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posted 04-25-2003 02:52 PM      Profile for Bowser   Email Bowser   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I got my permit yesterday. Go me.
From: My mommy's uterus | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Fenix
I live in a public bathroom.
Member # 2371

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posted 04-25-2003 03:27 PM      Profile for Fenix   Author's Homepage   Email Fenix   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You need a sex permit now?
From: The Homeworld, Aiur | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Bowser
I'm such a moron that I keep an axe behind me at all times.
Member # 2037

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posted 04-25-2003 04:39 PM      Profile for Bowser   Email Bowser   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Fenix:
You need a sex permit now?

Driver's Permit*
From: My mommy's uterus | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
red13n
My parents think it's weird I wack off to anthropomorphic animals. Yiff yiff.
Member # 1013

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posted 04-25-2003 04:40 PM      Profile for red13n   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Lark84:
I have realised that there is no hope for me. That's why I have completely given up on girls, instead I play videogames and masturbate to Krystal hentai three-four times a day to stop the pain in my heart.

Meh, its far too easy to catch my attention. Anyways, yeah. Ive got nothing witty to say, so umm..Yeah.
From: California | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
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posted 04-25-2003 05:49 PM      Profile for Land und Leute   Email Land und Leute   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Haha. I'm back. I would have posted more last night, but I was just dang tired. Not from having sex, but just tired in general.

So, I'm been here for a long enough to know that sex is definitely a hot topic around here, and that anything involving sex will need a description. Because I was always curious when others posted their experiences with sex, I imagine that there are those here who are curious with what happened to me. So now...

Before I begin, I just want to make it perfectly clear that there will be some discussions of SEX below, so don't get angry and all that if you don't like it. And no, this is not some wild lemon or porn story. So look elsewhere if you are looking for that.

This isn't easy to describe. There was just too much emotion to adequately display here using words. Here it is in a nutshell...

I've known her for quite some time. I think I'm known her since junior high school. Of course, back then, I didn't really like her. We weren't even good friends; more like "hey" acquaintances.

High school came rolling around. I took one of her best friends to a semi-formal dance. We all shared the same ride. It was after that the semi-formal that she and I started becoming good friends. We spent a lot of time together. We went to amusement parks, movies, restaurants... we did everything together.

Were we going out? I guess we were. It was rather amazing after we came to conclusion, since neither of us had ever thought of it like that. We were just friends that had grown closer and closer together. It was during this time period that I first kissed her...

Pretty soon, she became my girlfriend. We began spending a lot more time together. There were many intimate moments. There were many times when we slept together; not fully naked or having sex. We simply enjoyed spending time with each other and enjoyed each other very very much.

Then the time came. We were together in bed one night, when we declared our love for each other. Words cannot describe the passion and the feeling that I felt at the moment. I felt so complete and full of emotions. It was so wonderful....

The next night, we did the usual. The same loving and kissing and touching that we did every night before falling asleep. This wasn't foreplay to us, this was just a way for us to enjoy each other's company. Just like every other night, we got each other very hot. The passion was extreme.

We remembered how we commited ourselves to each other through our love the previous night, and it was then that we decided to give ourselves to each other.

It was mad. Incredible. Wild. The feeling we had for each other... The way we had teased each other all this time... I put on a condom and laid her down. She was so beautiful and full of life. She welcomed me in, and I entered, slowly...

She was a virgin too. She had a look of great pain on her face, so I took it slowly. In.... and out.... In.... and out....

I looked. The bed was bloody and so were she and I. She just told me to go on. She was ok. So I did. Gently. Slowly, with great care and passion.

Her breathing quickened and I could hear her heart racing. I had been half holding myself up, not wanting to press down too hard on her, but my arms were getting weak. I let myself down and pressed my body against her. And the entire time... in and out... in and out...

So that was that. We finished strong, and it was incredible. The most incredible experience of my life. We laid there, embracing each other after we finished, hold each other in our arms. Never have I ever felt that sort of love. Ever.

I know you want to know her name, and how old she is, and where she goes to school and all that. I can only tell you this: she is the most beautiful girl I've ever met, and I love her with all my heart.

If you have not already, I hope all of you will get to experience the kind of love I experienced. It is something that you will treasure forever.

Ferquin: Congrats. I hope you find it again soon.

Thanks.

Triple C: i'm having sex right now
Bowser: I got my permit yesterday. Go me.
Fenix: You need a sex permit now?

One of the funniest things I've read in a while.

- - - - -
theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
10,000Lb.Snorlax
loves long time.
Member # 13

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posted 04-25-2003 06:05 PM      Profile for 10,000Lb.Snorlax   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
yay for using a condom!
From: Denver | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
EspeonNidoking
warcraft 3
Member # 2028

posted 04-25-2003 06:31 PM      Profile for EspeonNidoking   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
ewww she bled over you?

(yes i'm waiting for some smartass to come by and act like i don't know what happens when you break a girl's virginity.)

anyway congrats or whatever, good luck with the two of you.

shoulda done it magic johnson style and hit dat ass wit'out a condom numsayin'?

also, your standards of "beautiful" are different from most of ours.

remember Char42 thinks Kristen is gorgeous. =\

i'm waiting for the day Char42 posts his "virginity lost to Kristen" thread. -_-

[ 04-25-2003, 06:52 PM: Message edited by: EspeonNidoking ]

- - - - -
"Yeah, my pubic hair has dollar signs trimmed in it!

$$Bling Bling$$" ~Jman

From: Summit,New Jersey, Tampa, Fl, and Rindge, NH | Registered: Jul 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ikuse
Farting Nudist
Member # 3037

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posted 04-25-2003 06:51 PM      Profile for Ikuse   Author's Homepage   Email Ikuse   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Awesome.

When this happens to me, it'll be good.

Except for I think my girl isn't a virgin. Meh, what're you gonna do.

From: In my pants. | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged
ceoalex316
Time for the flaming leprosy party
Member # 338

posted 04-25-2003 09:08 PM      Profile for ceoalex316     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
So what’s the official age at which you lost your virginity?
From: NYC | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
The Muffin King
Farting Nudist
Member # 2240

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posted 04-25-2003 10:09 PM      Profile for The Muffin King   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
What causes the blood in my bed to turn brown?
From: Maryland | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
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posted 04-26-2003 12:43 AM      Profile for Land und Leute   Email Land und Leute   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I am of legal age in the United States.

I'm not sure why blood turns brownish when it dries up in your bed. My guess is that it has something to do with the oxygen levels? [Confused]

10K Snorlax: yay for using a condom!

It's good advice to all.

EspeonNidoking: anyway congrats or whatever, good luck with the two of you. shoulda done it magic johnson style and hit dat ass wit'out a condom numsayin'? also, your standards of "beautiful" are different from most of ours.

Thank you. And I'm not sure if I we are ready to do it raw like that. And yes, it is true that standards differ between everyone. But I love my girl, and when you all find yours, remember to love her. (If you are a girl with a guy, please love him too [Smile] )

EDIT: Muffin King, what are you implying with your above post, hmm??? [Wink]

[ 04-26-2003, 12:44 AM: Message edited by: Land und Leute ]

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theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
ceoalex316
Time for the flaming leprosy party
Member # 338

posted 04-26-2003 01:52 AM      Profile for ceoalex316     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Land und Leute:
I am of legal age in the United States.

I meant how old are you?

- - - - -
Maximum Penetration Industries.

From: NYC | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mr.E
Farting Nudist
Member # 696

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posted 04-26-2003 03:47 AM      Profile for Mr.E     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
But I love my girl, and when you all find yours, remember to love her. (If you are a girl with a guy, please love him too [Smile] )

Or homersexual relations.

- - - - -
MickHale18: nevermind, I'll pull out for a second
MickHale18: *pulls out finger*

From: Munchkin Land, Oz | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

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posted 04-26-2003 07:37 AM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
If you reply to this post don't be all like: omg your dick wasn't big enough to make her bleed. or: omg what a bucket. I aint got a problem with my dick and it took a while to get it in her tight little crack. But:

Hold the phone.

EN just said something like a girl bleeds the first time every time. Is that true?

That fucking slut lied to me.

- - - - -
OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
SDShamshel
Farting Nudist
Member # 791

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posted 04-26-2003 08:01 AM      Profile for SDShamshel   Email SDShamshel   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
post pics plz
From: Tokyo-3 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
Coxy
Hulkamania has run wild over me.
Member # 2297

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posted 04-26-2003 09:17 AM      Profile for Coxy   Email Coxy   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Land und Leute:
I know you want to know her name, and how old she is, and where she goes to school and all that.

Actually, no.

- - - - -
I love nintendolover, but only in a strictly platonic sense.

From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mentar the Malady Monkey
worst username ever
Member # 1182

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posted 04-26-2003 10:46 AM      Profile for Mentar the Malady Monkey   Email Mentar the Malady Monkey   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Boodabonzi:
EN just said something like a girl bleeds the first time every time. Is that true?

That fucking slut lied to me.

I'm not sure if bleeding can be due to any other reasons, but I know the main cause is usually the breaking of the hymen. Some girls, even before they've had sex, break their hymens naturally or do it themselves with a marital aid. That might explain it.

There might still be bleeding due to things getting stretched out down there, but I have no idea about that.

- - - - -
WHAT.

From: Pandemonium, HL, Hades | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
Biffster
Farting Nudist
Member # 269

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posted 04-26-2003 10:57 AM      Profile for Biffster     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
this thread is HOT
From: Viridian City (On the road at least) | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
SDShamshel
Farting Nudist
Member # 791

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posted 04-26-2003 11:16 AM      Profile for SDShamshel   Email SDShamshel   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Biffster:
this thread is HOT

Only 'cause you're posting in it. [Wink]

- - - - -
Pretty de Cure Cure
Futari wa Precure

From: Tokyo-3 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
Member # 1040

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posted 04-26-2003 12:38 PM      Profile for Land und Leute   Email Land und Leute   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
ceoalex: I meant how old are you?

Yes, I am aware of what you meant, that just isn't important here. Privacy issues and all. Just know that I am of legal age in the US.

Boodabonzi: EN just said something like a girl bleeds the first time every time. Is that true?

As Mentar already touched upon, the main reason for the bleeding would be the breaking of the hymen. I had actually asked her about this after we finished. She said that that was probably what happened. However, girls are very active these days, with all their excercising and stretching, so it might turn out that it already broke sometime already. I asked her if tampons could break it, and she said that it wasn't likely. So that's my 2 cents on this.

SDShamshel: post pics plz

I don't have any. Normally, when a guy asks a girl, "Hey can I take pictures," the girl hears "Hey can I take pictures to show all my friends?" So...

Mr.E Or homersexual relations.

My bad. I didn't mean to leave that out.

EDIT: Typo.

[ 04-26-2003, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: Land und Leute ]

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theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269

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posted 04-26-2003 02:58 PM      Profile for Ferquin   Author's Homepage   Email Ferquin   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Lark84:
You know, I haven't had a kiss either... I'm eight-fucking-teen year old.

I have realised that there is no hope for me. That's why I have completely given up on girls, instead I play videogames and masturbate to Krystal hentai three-four times a day to stop the pain in my heart.

Seriously though, I am so sure that I'll never get some, so instead of feeling sad for it, I've just decided that I won't care. I'm terrible with girls anyway, so if I tried, I'd just fail over and over and get really low self-esteem and probably end up comitting suicide. Why do that, when I can just ignore it? I don't know what it feels like to fuck someone, thus I can't miss the feeling, if you were going to say "It feels great to fuck someone".

Losing one's virginity and then bragging about it on an ex-pokémon forum now home to lost ex-pokémon geeks is hilarious. I'd do the very same thing.

I'm gonna stick my neck out here and say that I'm pretty much in the exact same boat. The sad thing is I'm in my mid-20s. But yeah, it's darkly hilarious that I fill that void with anime and videogames and porn. I just don't really have a desire for a romantic relationship anymore and I've come to the realization that I'll die alone. It's no big deal. If anybody needs any ritual sacrifices that call for virgins, just feel free to call me. I don't have much to live for anyway.

[ 04-26-2003, 03:13 PM: Message edited by: Ferquin ]

- - - - -
Ferquin N.C. Root
The Ferquinarium

From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

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posted 04-26-2003 03:36 PM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I love posting here. It puts everything in perspective nameen?

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OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269

Member Rated:
posted 04-26-2003 03:38 PM      Profile for Ferquin   Author's Homepage   Email Ferquin   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
That there's always a bigger loser? Yes. I hope you have gained from my patheticness and feel better about yourself.

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Ferquin N.C. Root
The Ferquinarium

From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

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posted 04-26-2003 03:44 PM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I was NOT saying that man.

Many would say that my existence is somewhat pathetic.

edit: + second sentence
edit2: - more in sentence so it didn't say "more pathetic"

[ 04-26-2003, 03:46 PM: Message edited by: Boodabonzi ]

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OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269

Member Rated:
posted 04-26-2003 04:24 PM      Profile for Ferquin   Author's Homepage   Email Ferquin   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
What could possibly be more pathetic than a twenty-six-old virgin who's never so much as been kissed by another woman let alone been on a date? Please, feel free to try and trump my loser card.

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Ferquin N.C. Root
The Ferquinarium

From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
DarkLickitung
I AM FRIENDS WITH ZACK_COMRADE IRL
Member # 1672

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posted 04-26-2003 04:30 PM      Profile for DarkLickitung   Email DarkLickitung   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
predictable "MK" post
From: See You Auntie. | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
ceoalex316
Time for the flaming leprosy party
Member # 338

posted 04-26-2003 04:53 PM      Profile for ceoalex316     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Lark84 and Ferquin, are you both ugly? Or is it the nerd thing thats holding you back?
From: NYC | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269

Member Rated:
posted 04-26-2003 05:04 PM      Profile for Ferquin   Author's Homepage   Email Ferquin   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Yes on both counts.

Really, it doesn't bother me anymore and I've accepted my sad fate and coupled it with cynicism and self-hate. Otherwise, I wouldn't be quite so open to share my thoughts. It's not so bad... Just have to have the right frame of mind. I'll just happily keep reminding myself that suicide is the cowards' way out and that I should take my punishment like a man.

[ 04-26-2003, 05:19 PM: Message edited by: Ferquin ]

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Ferquin N.C. Root
The Ferquinarium

From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
Member # 1040

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posted 04-26-2003 05:45 PM      Profile for Land und Leute   Email Land und Leute   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This post is twofold:

1) Guys, please don't feel that way about yourselves. For the longest time, I was a "dork." I had thick glasses, some stereotypical dork haircut, I did not do well in physical education (even though I tried my best), and for the most part, I did not talk to girls. I wasn't necessarily introverted, I was just introverted when it came to certain situations and things. (Is that even possible?) Today, I've changed a little bit. Lost the glasses and got a decent haircut. Did stuff involving physical activity. Spoke my mind once in a while. And toned up a little.

Now, this is what I picture my changes as. If you were to ask some outside observer how I've changed, he'd probably say "not much." I guess the point is to think positively about yourself. Yes, it's quite cheesy and trite, I know. But it's true. Think positively about yourself and others will begin to think it too. It really shows when you walk around with some confidence. She still calls me a "dork" though.

2) I want to now discuss another detail in my sexual experience.

So, we were just playing around when we decided to try out some of the flavored waterbased lubricant that I had purchased. Yes, you read that correctly. So during foreplay, we had pulled out some of that lube stuff that was supposed to taste like strawberries or some fruit. We played with it for a while, and even tasted it, but frankly, we were not impressed. The shit dried up so incredibly quickly and just became some sticky stuff on our hands. We just had to keep using more and more for the lubiness to continue. I mean, one "glop" in our hands lasted no more than a minute. And if you were to stop rubbing any sooner, it would only dry up. Now isn't that a clever marketing scheme! Just gotta keeping squeezing the bottle. Not only that, but it didn't even taste like strawberries!If you've noticed that too, don't be afraid to speak up. Or maybe recommend a good tasting, longer lasting brand of lube.

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theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269

Member Rated:
posted 04-26-2003 05:54 PM      Profile for Ferquin   Author's Homepage   Email Ferquin   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Is it that rough down there? Either your thing is serrated like an army knife or she's really tight, which I imagine must be real great for you. I can't understand why someone would want that stuff to taste like strawberries, let alone use lube in the first place. Don't she already got natural pube lube? You're not doing anal are you, in which case, I would imagine she'd want it to taste like strawberries after being up her ass. No offense, but that's just nasty. Either way, I'm afraid I can't recommend an alternative, being a virgin and all. I can only come up with logical hypotheses.

By the way, thanks for the sentiment, but I've pretty much dug my own grave; might as well wallow around in it and make jokes until I pass.

[ 04-26-2003, 06:00 PM: Message edited by: Ferquin ]

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Ferquin N.C. Root
The Ferquinarium

From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

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posted 04-26-2003 06:38 PM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
1) don't eat dinner
2) watch a commercial for <insert preferred food here>
3) you should be salivating a lot
4) go down on her so she's good and horny anyway
5) she should be ship shape and ready sir

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OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269

Member Rated:
posted 04-26-2003 06:40 PM      Profile for Ferquin   Author's Homepage   Email Ferquin   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
She should be ship-shape for shlurpin'!

Try saying that five times fast.

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Ferquin N.C. Root
The Ferquinarium

From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged


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