The Azure Heights Forum: A Girl's First Time

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Topic: A Girl's First Time

Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
Member # 1040

Member Rated:

posted 09-13-2001 05:24 PM $Profile for Land und Leute$ $Email Land und Leute$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

It's your first time. As you lie back your muscles tighten. You put him off for a while searching for an excuse, but he refuses to be swayed as he approaches you. He asks if you're afraid and you shake your head bravely. He has had more experience, but it's the first time his finger has found the right place. He probes deeply and you shiver; your body tenses; but he's gentle like he promised he'd be. He looks deeply within your eyes and tells you to trust him - he's done this many times before. His cool smile relaxes you, and you open wider to give him more room for an easy entrance. You begin to plead and beg him to hurry, but he slowly takes his time, wanting to cause you as little pain as possible. As he presses closer, going deeper, you feel the tissue give way; pain surges throughout your body and you feel the slight trickle of blood as he continues. He looks at you concerned and asks you if it's too painful. Your eyes are filled with tears but you shake your head and nod for him to go on. He begins going in and out with skill but you are now too numb to feel him within you. You close your eyes. After a few moments, you feel something bursting within you and as he pulls it out of you, you lay panting, glad to have it over. He looks at you and smiling warmly, tells you, with a chuckle; that you have been his most stubborn yet most rewarding experience. You smile and thank your dentist. After all, it was your first time to have a tooth pulled.

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theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged

Rei the Giant Koffing
Farting Nudist
Member # 1909

Member Rated:

posted 09-13-2001 05:36 PM $Profile for Rei the Giant Koffing$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

rolfmao!

From: Americas b0rked penis | Registered: Jun 2001 | IP: Logged

Living on air bubbles
Frank Stallone
Member # 2089

posted 09-13-2001 05:40 PM $Profile for Living on air bubbles$ $Email Living on air bubbles$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

From: Cherry Hill, Suicide Captial of The World | Registered: Aug 2001 | IP: Logged

Rolken
Vulcan
Member # 7

Member Rated:

posted 09-13-2001 06:01 PM $Profile for Rolken$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Rolken$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Heheheh.

From: Provo, UT | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

Dark_Herakurosu
Farting Nudist
Member # 1677

Member Rated:

posted 09-13-2001 06:03 PM $Profile for Dark_Herakurosu$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Dark_Herakurosu$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

The rug muncher was actually funny! I guess everyone deserves 15 minutes of fame.

- - - - -
There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs, huge erections, and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Registered: Apr 2001 | IP: Logged

Footitch
Farting Nudist
Member # 663

Member Rated:

posted 09-13-2001 06:36 PM $Profile for Footitch$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Another lesbian "thread."

From: ===D ()-: | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged

PsyDork
Farting Nudist
Member # 717

Member Rated:

posted 09-13-2001 07:39 PM $Profile for PsyDork$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

That got me aroused. Am I weird?

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This signature has expired.

From: Las Vegas, NV | Registered: Jul 2000 | IP: Logged

Zerot
I pay schoolgirls to verbally abuse me.
Member # 1295

Member Rated:

posted 09-13-2001 07:52 PM $Profile for Zerot$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Zerot$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Ha...haha...ha.

Very nice... uh... Land.

From: Speedway, Indiana | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

NickWhiz1
Farting Nudist
Member # 30

Member Rated:

posted 09-13-2001 09:25 PM $Profile for NickWhiz1$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email NickWhiz1$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

This topic scares me.

Deeply.

- - - - -
"Young love, with horns!"
-Toonami review of Ico (PS2)

[Rockzilla] Remember now, excuses are like asses, everybody has one and they all stink.

From: Toledo, OH, USA | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445

Member Rated:

posted 09-13-2001 10:31 PM $Profile for MK$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Whoever wrote that did a good job. I like the way it was worded, it had a nice arrousing affect like mentioned above.

Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged

EspeonNidoking
warcraft 3
Member # 2028

posted 09-14-2001 01:28 AM $Profile for EspeonNidoking$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

*Me agrees with NickWhiz...*

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"Yeah, my pubic hair has dollar signs trimmed in it!

$$Bling Bling$$" ~Jman

From: Summit,New Jersey, Tampa, Fl, and Rindge, NH | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged

Givera
Farting Nudist
Member # 234

Member Rated:

posted 09-14-2001 07:59 AM $Profile for Givera$ $Author's Homepage$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Hehe. Funny. I knew there had to be something stupid at the end.

From: Plano, Tx | Registered: Apr 2000 | IP: Logged

Mick_Hale
Total Moron
Member # 419

Member Rated:

posted 09-14-2001 11:10 AM $Profile for Mick_Hale$ $Email Mick_Hale$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

That was deeply... (fill in the blank)

Excellent writing. Like a true pornographer. I mean poet.

From: Thornhill, Ontario, Canada | Registered: May 2000 | IP: Logged

BigCheese
Farting Nudist
Member # 1479

Member Rated:

posted 09-15-2001 05:02 PM $Profile for BigCheese$ $Email BigCheese$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

*print*

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I have a nice butt!

From: The land of milk and honey...and cheese | Registered: Jan 2001 | IP: Logged

Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
Member # 1040

Member Rated:

posted 09-15-2001 11:38 PM $Profile for Land und Leute$ $Email Land und Leute$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I'm glad a lot of you found this to be funny/stimulating/whatever. I thought so too when I first read it. I realize, however, that I didn't give credit to the person who wrote it (it wasn't me, and I don't want credit, but I did add a line

), so I searched for the site which I originally located it. Well, at Google, there are over 300 pages with this story. Author? I don't know.

Sorry for not crediting the author of this wonderful piece of writing.

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theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged

Cesar
Farting Nudist
Member # 529

Member Rated:

posted 09-16-2001 12:16 AM $Profile for Cesar$ $Email Cesar$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Kick ass story though.

What line did you add?

From: Toronto, Canada | Registered: Jun 2000 | IP: Logged

Uiru
Sketch Molester
Member # 437

Member Rated:

posted 09-16-2001 12:19 AM $Profile for Uiru$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Uiru$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

To quote my good friend:

"WELCOME TO SEVERAL YEARS AGO!"

Of course, it was funny then, and it's funny now. XD
~Uiru

- - - - -
TIDUDSOFIEIHUGHEXXXC: "maybe he will let you touch his blow up do"

AFRO NOOOOOOO!!!

From: the floating castle of Newfoundland | Registered: May 2000 | IP: Logged

Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
Member # 1040

Member Rated:

posted 09-16-2001 12:06 PM $Profile for Land und Leute$ $Email Land und Leute$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Cesar:
What line did you add?

I added "You close your eyes." I thought it would be appropriate.

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theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged

jshadias
Farting Nudist
Member # 2710

Member Rated:

posted 07-13-2002 03:06 PM $Profile for jshadias$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

"WELCOME TO SEVERAL YEARS AGO!"

- - - - -
What Nintendo doesn't want you to know
Uiru: "Now that we're all used to the rules, clauses and by-laws... what would happen to the metagame if every one of them were whipped away?"
GP-Chan: "id probably quit every battle, and not just every other battle."
ThumbsOfSteel: "Why, because they broke the rules?"

Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged

Manuel Calavera
Sock Lover
Member # 1202

Member Rated:

posted 07-13-2002 06:08 PM $Profile for Manuel Calavera$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I have a large, smooth shaft, with a largened head at the end. My existence gives pleasure to both men and women. When in use, I'm often coated in a sticky white fluid. I move in and out of a warm, moist orifice of the body at high speeds for a short period of time. What am I?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A toothbrush. What did you think?

- - - - -
Gates is the Saddam Hussein of the consumer technology world. ~ Mr.K

From: Newcastle, Home of Geordies, Brown Ale and The Wildhearts | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

SpunkDawg4-Life
Farting Nudist
Member # 2903

posted 07-13-2002 06:22 PM $Profile for SpunkDawg4-Life$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email SpunkDawg4-Life$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I'm the cheapest slut to ever live. I get used by many people all the time...and most of those people are n00bs. I'm hard to control and i'm a bitch to get....what am i???
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A Mewtwo of course :/

- - - - -
...

From: Spunkland | Registered: Jun 2002 | IP: Logged

Zerot
I pay schoolgirls to verbally abuse me.
Member # 1295

Member Rated:

posted 07-13-2002 06:26 PM $Profile for Zerot$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Zerot$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Manuel Calavera:
My existence gives pleasure to both men and women.

er, I have never been pleasured by my toothbrush. Am I using it wrong?

From: Speedway, Indiana | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

Nanashi
Farting Nudist
Member # 2926

Member Rated:

posted 07-13-2002 06:32 PM $Profile for Nanashi$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by SpunkDawg4-Life:
I'm the cheapest slut to ever live. I get used by many people all the time...and most of those people are n00bs. I'm hard to control and i'm a bitch to get....what am i???
.
...
.
A Mewtwo of course :/

I thought that was Nurse Joy? I mean, even Mewtwo bagged her, and he's not exactly Mr. Babe-of-the-year either. In fact, the only reason she hasn't shagged Brock rotten is because he's so desperate. XD

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MEWTWO: HOW ARE YOU BROCK. ALL YOUR NURSE JOY ARE BELONG TO US. YOU HAVE NO CHANCE TO MACK MAKE YOUR TIME.

From: Michigan | Registered: Jul 2002 | IP: Logged

Wizzymoto
Farting Nudist
Member # 60

Member Rated:

posted 07-13-2002 06:36 PM $Profile for Wizzymoto$ $Email Wizzymoto$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Whats long, hard, and full of seamen?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A SUBmarine!!

From: Irvine, CA, USA | Registered: Feb 2000 | IP: Logged

CHaRiZaRd
Farting Nudist
Member # 994

Member Rated:

posted 07-13-2002 07:16 PM $Profile for CHaRiZaRd$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email CHaRiZaRd$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Manuel Calavera:
I have a large, smooth shaft, with a largened head at the end. My existence gives pleasure to both men and women. When in use, I'm often coated in a sticky white fluid. I move in and out of a warm, moist orifice of the body at high speeds for a short period of time. What am I?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
A toothbrush. What did you think?

Truthfully, for a minute there, I thought you were talking about a

FRIGGIN COCK.

The part where it said it gives pleasure to men and women threw me off.

From: NJ or DC | Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged

dr.steelix
Farting Nudist
Member # 2734

Member Rated:

posted 07-13-2002 07:26 PM $Profile for dr.steelix$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Too bad that sperm is semen.

- - - - -
i am sorry

From: Israel | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged

Zerot
I pay schoolgirls to verbally abuse me.
Member # 1295

Member Rated:

posted 07-13-2002 10:49 PM $Profile for Zerot$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Zerot$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by dr.steelix:
Too bad that sperm is semen.

Too bad it is a verbal joke.

From: Speedway, Indiana | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

Mick_Hale
Total Moron
Member # 419

Member Rated:

posted 07-13-2002 11:49 PM $Profile for Mick_Hale$ $Email Mick_Hale$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Sperm is NOT semen. Sperm is one of the components of semen.

This thread friggin rules.

From: Thornhill, Ontario, Canada | Registered: May 2000 | IP: Logged

PKMN Master FRAZZE
Farting Nudist
Member # 2404

Member Rated:

posted 07-14-2002 03:33 AM $Profile for PKMN Master FRAZZE$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

lol, that cracked me up. I'm saving that piece of art.

- - - - -
What's the use of the truth if you can't tell a lie?

From: Why the fuck do you care? | Registered: Nov 2001 | IP: Logged

dr.steelix
Farting Nudist
Member # 2734

Member Rated:

posted 07-14-2002 06:03 AM $Profile for dr.steelix$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

sperm 1 Pronunciation Key (spыrm)
n. pl. sperm or sperms
1. A male gamete or reproductive cell; a spermatozoon.
2. Semen.

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i am sorry

From: Israel | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged

CrazyJoker
Farting Nudist
Member # 2656

Member Rated:

posted 07-14-2002 04:04 PM $Profile for CrazyJoker$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Wheeeeeeeeee
it spins.
Watch it go.

- - - - -
Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk: OMFG VELOS EATS HIS SPERM WTF?
veloS: Copying CJ is a crime.

-at least i'm remembered for something.

From: Philly | Registered: Feb 2002 | IP: Logged

spunman
Farting Nudist
Member # 1181

posted 07-17-2002 07:36 PM $Profile for spunman$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

sperm - n. a male reproductive cell; spermatozoon.

spermatozoon - n. (pl. -zoa) one of the minute, usually actively motile gametes in semen, which serve to fertilize the ovum; a mature male reproductive cell.

semen - n. the viscid, whitish fluid produced in the male reproductive organs, containing spermatozoa.

all looks pretty clear to me.

From: the middle | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

dr.steelix
Farting Nudist
Member # 2734

Member Rated:

posted 07-17-2002 07:49 PM $Profile for dr.steelix$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

There is a difference between biological terms and everyday's speech.

- - - - -
i am sorry

From: Israel | Registered: Mar 2002 | IP: Logged

EspeonNidoking
warcraft 3
Member # 2028

posted 07-20-2002 03:02 AM $Profile for EspeonNidoking$ $Author's Homepage$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by CrazyJoker:
Wheeeeeeeeee
it spins.
Watch it go.

go away.

- - - - -
"Yeah, my pubic hair has dollar signs trimmed in it!

$$Bling Bling$$" ~Jman

From: Summit,New Jersey, Tampa, Fl, and Rindge, NH | Registered: Jul 2001 | IP: Logged

CrazyJoker
Farting Nudist
Member # 2656

Member Rated:

posted 07-20-2002 03:19 AM $Profile for CrazyJoker$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

EN, not only do i refuse to listen to you, i refuse to think that you exist.

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Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk: OMFG VELOS EATS HIS SPERM WTF?
veloS: Copying CJ is a crime.

-at least i'm remembered for something.

From: Philly | Registered: Feb 2002 | IP: Logged

Manuel Calavera
Sock Lover
Member # 1202

Member Rated:

posted 07-20-2002 05:42 AM $Profile for Manuel Calavera$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Zerot:

quote:
Originally posted by Manuel Calavera:
My existence gives pleasure to both men and women.
er, I have never been pleasured by my toothbrush. Am I using it wrong?

Yes, seeing as how it gets plaque off your teeth.

- - - - -
Gates is the Saddam Hussein of the consumer technology world. ~ Mr.K

From: Newcastle, Home of Geordies, Brown Ale and The Wildhearts | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

Zerot
I pay schoolgirls to verbally abuse me.
Member # 1295

Member Rated:

posted 07-20-2002 11:09 AM $Profile for Zerot$ $Author's Homepage$ $Email Zerot$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

That doesn't give me pleasure.

From: Speedway, Indiana | Registered: Dec 2000 | IP: Logged

ThomasTR
Farting Nudist
Member # 580

posted 07-20-2002 01:40 PM $Profile for ThomasTR$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

For christ's sake!

From: United Kingdom | Registered: Jun 2000 | IP: Logged

veloS
8=D~~O:
Member # 2636

Member Rated:

posted 07-23-2003 05:35 AM $Profile for veloS$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

What is this thread doing here?

- - - - -
www.mightyrhapsody.com

From: Amsterdam | Registered: Feb 2002 | IP: Logged

Manuel Calavera
Sock Lover
Member # 1202

Member Rated:

posted 07-23-2003 07:39 AM $Profile for Manuel Calavera$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

quote:
Originally posted by Wizzymoto:
Whats long, hard, and full of seamen?
.
.
A SUBmarine!!

Nope, the captain's knob.

- - - - -
Gates is the Saddam Hussein of the consumer technology world. ~ Mr.K

From: Newcastle, Home of Geordies, Brown Ale and The Wildhearts | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

Dweedle
My hands and feet are mangos
Member # 1209

Member Rated:

posted 07-23-2003 10:19 AM $Profile for Dweedle$ $Email Dweedle$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

figures that velos would bring back a sperm thread

[ 07-23-2003, 10:20 AM: Message edited by: Dweedle ]

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the only way to get pass this will be to commit suicune

From: second of all, Quagmire's not really a bad guy! | Registered: Nov 2000 | IP: Logged

veloS
8=D~~O:
Member # 2636

Member Rated:

posted 07-23-2003 12:29 PM $Profile for veloS$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

Spell my name right, DweeLOL. [Trash Bear]

@Manuel: Knob? You're british, aren't ya? [PBJ Time!]

- - - - -
www.mightyrhapsody.com

From: Amsterdam | Registered: Feb 2002 | IP: Logged

undone-backwards
Farting Nudist
Member # 197

Member Rated:

posted 07-23-2003 07:00 PM $Profile for undone-backwards$ $Email undone-backwards$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

@Manuel: Knob? You're british, aren't ya?

Fuck no!

...he's a geordie [Big Grin]

From: under your bed... | Registered: Mar 2000 | IP: Logged

dAyWaLkEr
Farting Nudist
Member # 3343

Member Rated:

posted 07-23-2003 08:10 PM $Profile for dAyWaLkEr$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

oh yah.... nothing gets me hotter than fighting plaque and preventing cavities

colgate is MY porn

- - - - -
absence of evidence isn't evidence of absence

Registered: Apr 2003 | IP: Logged

Land und Leute
HETEROSEXUAL
Member # 1040

Member Rated:

posted 07-24-2003 02:26 PM $Profile for Land und Leute$ $Email Land und Leute$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I don't know about you, but I'm more of a Crest man. </lame>

[This Guy]

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theclaw: I can't rate myself!!

Registered: Oct 2000 | IP: Logged

Iyse
Farting Nudist
Member # 149

Member Rated:

posted 07-30-2003 08:47 AM $Profile for Iyse$ $Email Iyse$ $Send New Private Message$ $Edit/Delete Post$ $Reply With Quote$

I'm british.

- - - - -
OMG IAN GARVEY WTF!!!111

From: London, UK | Registered: Mar 2000 | IP: Logged

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