Asher Katchthem: I'm Asher Katchthem. People say my name is original. I don't feel like doing much.
Asher's Mom: Oh, you've wanted to be a Pokemon Master since you were 4 years old!
Asher: I have? Well, okay, whatever. Hey, look something's on.
TV: Hi, my name is Professor Tree. I, like all scientists, have a plant name, but mine is neato original! Anyway, here are the three Pokemon you will be starting with. A red reptile, a blue reptile, and a reptile with a thing growing out of its back. Such variety!
Asher's Mom: Time to go to bed. It's late, honey!
Asher: Uh...mom... it's 4:00 pm. I just got home from school.
Asher's Mom: Well then.... *pulls out rope and gag*
Asher: Eheh...sleeping now, ma'am.
Asher's Mom: Just think! Tomorrow you'll be starting on your Pokemon journey like you always wanted!
Asher: By always, you mean 5 minutes ago?
Asher's Mom: Night night!
(The Next Morning)
Asher's Mom: You're gonna be late to get your first Pokemon!
Asher: *groggy* It's 5 in the morning! It doesn't start for at least another 3 damn hours!
Asher's Mom: *smacks Asher with a mallet*
(A few hours later)
Asher: Hmm. Now I really am late. Whatever. Maybe I should dash out of the door...nah. I'll dash out of the door in slow motion.
Asher's Mom: Hey! Don't get changed!
Asher: Why not?
Asher's Mom: Because you're so late you forgot.
Asher: What the- um, okay...
(At Professor Tree's Lab)
Professor Tree: I ran out of the other Pokemon, so you are getting this Pikachu. You and it will be wonderful friends and it will sit on your shoulder and never go into its Poke Ball. This is the start of a beautiful friendship for some reason.
Asher: I don't want a damn yellow rat. I want something that has fangs or something. *punts Pikachu away*
Professor Tree: Hmm. I tend to lose a lot of Pikachu that way. Luckily, I have a spare. And this Pikachu carries a swiss army knife.
Asher: Ehh...close enough.
Professor Tree: Here's your pokedex as well. Even if you've seen a Pokemon already, point this at it. For some reason, it will spew out different information every time.
Asher: ...It's about time we leave, I guess. Is it?
Professor Tree: Yes. After all, your rival's already gotten his.
Asher: Wait, what the hell? Since when do I have a rival?
Garrett Tree: Hi, I'm Garrett Tree. I'm your taller, cooler looking, nasty and obnoxious rival. Hmm...I'm supposed to trash talk now, but I can't find the guide after I donated to that orphanage. Ah, here it is. You uh...suck. That's it. You suck.
Asher: Sure. Am I supposed to be angry from that?
Garrett: Actually, yes. Now, here's my cheerleaders/girlfriends/fan club/prostitutes and my chauffeur.
Cheerleaders: We bounce!
Chauffeur: I don't. Well, maybe a little.
Garrett: Now then, uh..*flips through pages* Good day, ...lu-le-no, that's not it. Um...Loser! Yeah! You loser!
Asher's Mom: Clean underwear!
Asher: The hell?
(In the forest)
Asher: So... you don't like the Poke Ball, right? What will you do if I try to get you back in there?
Pikachu: *points to a Rattata and its crotch. Proceeds to electrocute said crotch*
Asher: I...see... Anyway, I'm supposed to use you to catch Pokemon, right? So uh...Pikachu, go catch stuff.
Pikachu: *pulls out knife and guts all of the wildlife*
Asher: Hmm. I don't think that's supposed to happen.
Pikachu: Pika CHU DIE!
Asher: All this blood is really making it hard to walk. Especially in this rain that's appeared for no reason. Hey, why are you running away? Smell another kill?
- - - - -
Pretty de Cure Cure
Futari wa Precure