This is topic I lost my virginity today. in forum Karp Park at The Azure Heights Forum.


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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-24-2003, 11:08 PM:
 
Seriously.

But I'm tired, so more on this later, if you are interested. If not, start crackin' those jokes...
 

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Posted by starCaliber (Member # 268) on 04-24-2003, 11:21 PM:
 
fucking a girl isn't that big a deal when you're a lesbian

well, i guess it is

on a scale of 1 to 4, i rate this thread a Q

what

edit: the Q is for queer

[ 04-24-2003, 11:28 PM: Message edited by: starCaliber ]
 

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Posted by MK (Member # 1445) on 04-24-2003, 11:28 PM:
 
Congrats Land und Leute...

I haven't even gotten my first kiss yet, when I do they'll be a topic though...

Rest up, and ya gotta post details man! How old is she, what'd she look like, how was it, etc...

P.S. Is she into games? Make her dress up like Dark Magician Girl
 

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Posted by starCaliber (Member # 268) on 04-24-2003, 11:29 PM:
 
sup MK how's the wife and kids
 

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Posted by starCaliber (Member # 268) on 04-24-2003, 11:32 PM:
 
i'm...a-workin' on the raaaaaailroooooooad. alllllll teh live-long dayzzzz.
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-24-2003, 11:32 PM:
 
Congrats. I hope you find it again soon.
 

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Posted by Porygone (Member # 805) on 04-24-2003, 11:34 PM:
 
I lost my library card last week.
 

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Posted by PeePants (Member # 1502) on 04-24-2003, 11:34 PM:
 
Would it be considered irony if his virginity was stolen and not lost? Or is that Karma?
 

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Posted by starCaliber (Member # 268) on 04-24-2003, 11:35 PM:
 
woo woo, triple post score

chicks dig guys who make triple posts

edit: fuck
 

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Posted by Dweedle (Member # 1209) on 04-24-2003, 11:37 PM:
 
ENUFFA YO JIBBA JABBA

STAY IN SKOOL

DON'T DO DRUGS

STAY IN DRUGS

DON'T DO SKOOL
 

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Posted by Anthrax (Member # 335) on 04-24-2003, 11:39 PM:
 
A few years ago someone made this exact same thread and I said "to a goat." so that's what I'm gonna do here.

To a goat.
 

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Posted by Tghost (Member # 1418) on 04-25-2003, 01:07 AM:
 
requisite "and then posted about it on a pogeymonz forum" post.
 

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Posted by EspeonNidoking (Member # 2028) on 04-25-2003, 01:08 AM:
 

quote:

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I haven't even gotten my first kiss yet, when I do they'll be a topic though...

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quote:

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Originally posted by Boodabonzi:
what constitutes losing virginity if there were no penises involved?

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quote:

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Originally posted by EspeonNidoking:

quote:

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I haven't even gotten my first kiss yet, when I do they'll be a topic though...

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you're older than me MK.

you're older than me.

just give up, there's no hope for you.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Fenix:
You need a sex permit now?

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quote:

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Originally posted by Lark84:
I have realised that there is no hope for me. That's why I have completely given up on girls, instead I play videogames and masturbate to Krystal hentai three-four times a day to stop the pain in my heart.

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Meh, its far too easy to catch my attention. Anyways, yeah. Ive got nothing witty to say, so umm..Yeah.
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-25-2003, 05:49 PM:
 
Haha. I'm back. I would have posted more last night, but I was just dang tired. Not from having sex, but just tired in general.

So, I'm been here for a long enough to know that sex is definitely a hot topic around here, and that anything involving sex will need a description. Because I was always curious when others posted their experiences with sex, I imagine that there are those here who are curious with what happened to me. So now...

Before I begin, I just want to make it perfectly clear that there will be some discussions of SEX below, so don't get angry and all that if you don't like it. And no, this is not some wild lemon or porn story. So look elsewhere if you are looking for that.

This isn't easy to describe. There was just too much emotion to adequately display here using words. Here it is in a nutshell...

I've known her for quite some time. I think I'm known her since junior high school. Of course, back then, I didn't really like her. We weren't even good friends; more like "hey" acquaintances.

High school came rolling around. I took one of her best friends to a semi-formal dance. We all shared the same ride. It was after that the semi-formal that she and I started becoming good friends. We spent a lot of time together. We went to amusement parks, movies, restaurants... we did everything together.

Were we going out? I guess we were. It was rather amazing after we came to conclusion, since neither of us had ever thought of it like that. We were just friends that had grown closer and closer together. It was during this time period that I first kissed her...

Pretty soon, she became my girlfriend. We began spending a lot more time together. There were many intimate moments. There were many times when we slept together; not fully naked or having sex. We simply enjoyed spending time with each other and enjoyed each other very very much.

Then the time came. We were together in bed one night, when we declared our love for each other. Words cannot describe the passion and the feeling that I felt at the moment. I felt so complete and full of emotions. It was so wonderful....

The next night, we did the usual. The same loving and kissing and touching that we did every night before falling asleep. This wasn't foreplay to us, this was just a way for us to enjoy each other's company. Just like every other night, we got each other very hot. The passion was extreme.

We remembered how we commited ourselves to each other through our love the previous night, and it was then that we decided to give ourselves to each other.

It was mad. Incredible. Wild. The feeling we had for each other... The way we had teased each other all this time... I put on a condom and laid her down. She was so beautiful and full of life. She welcomed me in, and I entered, slowly...

She was a virgin too. She had a look of great pain on her face, so I took it slowly. In.... and out.... In.... and out....

I looked. The bed was bloody and so were she and I. She just told me to go on. She was ok. So I did. Gently. Slowly, with great care and passion.

Her breathing quickened and I could hear her heart racing. I had been half holding myself up, not wanting to press down too hard on her, but my arms were getting weak. I let myself down and pressed my body against her. And the entire time... in and out... in and out...

So that was that. We finished strong, and it was incredible. The most incredible experience of my life. We laid there, embracing each other after we finished, hold each other in our arms. Never have I ever felt that sort of love. Ever.

I know you want to know her name, and how old she is, and where she goes to school and all that. I can only tell you this: she is the most beautiful girl I've ever met, and I love her with all my heart.

If you have not already, I hope all of you will get to experience the kind of love I experienced. It is something that you will treasure forever.

Ferquin: Congrats. I hope you find it again soon.

Thanks.

Triple C: i'm having sex right now
Bowser: I got my permit yesterday. Go me.
Fenix: You need a sex permit now?

One of the funniest things I've read in a while.
 

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Posted by 10,000Lb.Snorlax (Member # 13) on 04-25-2003, 06:05 PM:
 
yay for using a condom!
 

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Posted by EspeonNidoking (Member # 2028) on 04-25-2003, 06:31 PM:
 
ewww she bled over you?

(yes i'm waiting for some smartass to come by and act like i don't know what happens when you break a girl's virginity.)

anyway congrats or whatever, good luck with the two of you.

shoulda done it magic johnson style and hit dat ass wit'out a condom numsayin'?

also, your standards of "beautiful" are different from most of ours.

remember Char42 thinks Kristen is gorgeous. =\

i'm waiting for the day Char42 posts his "virginity lost to Kristen" thread. -_-

[ 04-25-2003, 06:52 PM: Message edited by: EspeonNidoking ]
 

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Posted by Ikuse (Member # 3037) on 04-25-2003, 06:51 PM:
 
Awesome.

When this happens to me, it'll be good.

Except for I think my girl isn't a virgin. Meh, what're you gonna do.
 

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Posted by ceoalex316 (Member # 338) on 04-25-2003, 09:08 PM:
 
So what’s the official age at which you lost your virginity?
 

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Posted by The Muffin King (Member # 2240) on 04-25-2003, 10:09 PM:
 
What causes the blood in my bed to turn brown?
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-26-2003, 12:43 AM:
 
I am of legal age in the United States.

I'm not sure why blood turns brownish when it dries up in your bed. My guess is that it has something to do with the oxygen levels?

10K Snorlax: yay for using a condom!

It's good advice to all.

EspeonNidoking: anyway congrats or whatever, good luck with the two of you. shoulda done it magic johnson style and hit dat ass wit'out a condom numsayin'? also, your standards of "beautiful" are different from most of ours.

Thank you. And I'm not sure if I we are ready to do it raw like that. And yes, it is true that standards differ between everyone. But I love my girl, and when you all find yours, remember to love her. (If you are a girl with a guy, please love him too )

EDIT: Muffin King, what are you implying with your above post, hmm???

[ 04-26-2003, 12:44 AM: Message edited by: Land und Leute ]
 

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Posted by ceoalex316 (Member # 338) on 04-26-2003, 01:52 AM:
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Land und Leute:
I am of legal age in the United States.

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I meant how old are you?
 

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Posted by Mr.E (Member # 696) on 04-26-2003, 03:47 AM:
 
But I love my girl, and when you all find yours, remember to love her. (If you are a girl with a guy, please love him too )

Or homersexual relations.
 

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Posted by Boodabonzi (Member # 2958) on 04-26-2003, 07:37 AM:
 
If you reply to this post don't be all like: omg your dick wasn't big enough to make her bleed. or: omg what a bucket. I aint got a problem with my dick and it took a while to get it in her tight little crack. But:

Hold the phone.

EN just said something like a girl bleeds the first time every time. Is that true?

That fucking slut lied to me.
 

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Posted by SDShamshel (Member # 791) on 04-26-2003, 08:01 AM:
 
post pics plz
 

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Posted by Coxy (Member # 2297) on 04-26-2003, 09:17 AM:
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Land und Leute:
I know you want to know her name, and how old she is, and where she goes to school and all that.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Boodabonzi:
EN just said something like a girl bleeds the first time every time. Is that true?

That fucking slut lied to me.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Biffster:
this thread is HOT

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Only 'cause you're posting in it.
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-26-2003, 12:38 PM:
 
ceoalex: I meant how old are you?

Yes, I am aware of what you meant, that just isn't important here. Privacy issues and all. Just know that I am of legal age in the US.

Boodabonzi: EN just said something like a girl bleeds the first time every time. Is that true?

As Mentar already touched upon, the main reason for the bleeding would be the breaking of the hymen. I had actually asked her about this after we finished. She said that that was probably what happened. However, girls are very active these days, with all their excercising and stretching, so it might turn out that it already broke sometime already. I asked her if tampons could break it, and she said that it wasn't likely. So that's my 2 cents on this.

SDShamshel: post pics plz

I don't have any. Normally, when a guy asks a girl, "Hey can I take pictures," the girl hears "Hey can I take pictures to show all my friends?" So...

Mr.E Or homersexual relations.

My bad. I didn't mean to leave that out.

EDIT: Typo.

[ 04-26-2003, 01:13 PM: Message edited by: Land und Leute ]
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-26-2003, 02:58 PM:
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Lark84:
You know, I haven't had a kiss either... I'm eight-fucking-teen year old.

I have realised that there is no hope for me. That's why I have completely given up on girls, instead I play videogames and masturbate to Krystal hentai three-four times a day to stop the pain in my heart.

Seriously though, I am so sure that I'll never get some, so instead of feeling sad for it, I've just decided that I won't care. I'm terrible with girls anyway, so if I tried, I'd just fail over and over and get really low self-esteem and probably end up comitting suicide. Why do that, when I can just ignore it? I don't know what it feels like to fuck someone, thus I can't miss the feeling, if you were going to say "It feels great to fuck someone".

Losing one's virginity and then bragging about it on an ex-pokémon forum now home to lost ex-pokémon geeks is hilarious. I'd do the very same thing.

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I'm gonna stick my neck out here and say that I'm pretty much in the exact same boat. The sad thing is I'm in my mid-20s. But yeah, it's darkly hilarious that I fill that void with anime and videogames and porn. I just don't really have a desire for a romantic relationship anymore and I've come to the realization that I'll die alone. It's no big deal. If anybody needs any ritual sacrifices that call for virgins, just feel free to call me. I don't have much to live for anyway.

[ 04-26-2003, 03:13 PM: Message edited by: Ferquin ]
 

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Posted by Boodabonzi (Member # 2958) on 04-26-2003, 03:36 PM:
 
I love posting here. It puts everything in perspective nameen?
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-26-2003, 03:38 PM:
 
That there's always a bigger loser? Yes. I hope you have gained from my patheticness and feel better about yourself.
 

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Posted by Boodabonzi (Member # 2958) on 04-26-2003, 03:44 PM:
 
I was NOT saying that man.

Many would say that my existence is somewhat pathetic.

edit: + second sentence
edit2: - more in sentence so it didn't say "more pathetic"

[ 04-26-2003, 03:46 PM: Message edited by: Boodabonzi ]
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-26-2003, 04:24 PM:
 
What could possibly be more pathetic than a twenty-six-old virgin who's never so much as been kissed by another woman let alone been on a date? Please, feel free to try and trump my loser card.
 

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Posted by DarkLickitung (Member # 1672) on 04-26-2003, 04:30 PM:
 
predictable "MK" post
 

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Posted by ceoalex316 (Member # 338) on 04-26-2003, 04:53 PM:
 
Lark84 and Ferquin, are you both ugly? Or is it the nerd thing thats holding you back?
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-26-2003, 05:04 PM:
 
Yes on both counts.

Really, it doesn't bother me anymore and I've accepted my sad fate and coupled it with cynicism and self-hate. Otherwise, I wouldn't be quite so open to share my thoughts. It's not so bad... Just have to have the right frame of mind. I'll just happily keep reminding myself that suicide is the cowards' way out and that I should take my punishment like a man.

[ 04-26-2003, 05:19 PM: Message edited by: Ferquin ]
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-26-2003, 05:45 PM:
 
This post is twofold:

1) Guys, please don't feel that way about yourselves. For the longest time, I was a "dork." I had thick glasses, some stereotypical dork haircut, I did not do well in physical education (even though I tried my best), and for the most part, I did not talk to girls. I wasn't necessarily introverted, I was just introverted when it came to certain situations and things. (Is that even possible?) Today, I've changed a little bit. Lost the glasses and got a decent haircut. Did stuff involving physical activity. Spoke my mind once in a while. And toned up a little.

Now, this is what I picture my changes as. If you were to ask some outside observer how I've changed, he'd probably say "not much." I guess the point is to think positively about yourself. Yes, it's quite cheesy and trite, I know. But it's true. Think positively about yourself and others will begin to think it too. It really shows when you walk around with some confidence. She still calls me a "dork" though.

2) I want to now discuss another detail in my sexual experience.

So, we were just playing around when we decided to try out some of the flavored waterbased lubricant that I had purchased. Yes, you read that correctly. So during foreplay, we had pulled out some of that lube stuff that was supposed to taste like strawberries or some fruit. We played with it for a while, and even tasted it, but frankly, we were not impressed. The shit dried up so incredibly quickly and just became some sticky stuff on our hands. We just had to keep using more and more for the lubiness to continue. I mean, one "glop" in our hands lasted no more than a minute. And if you were to stop rubbing any sooner, it would only dry up. Now isn't that a clever marketing scheme! Just gotta keeping squeezing the bottle. Not only that, but it didn't even taste like strawberries!If you've noticed that too, don't be afraid to speak up. Or maybe recommend a good tasting, longer lasting brand of lube.
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-26-2003, 05:54 PM:
 
Is it that rough down there? Either your thing is serrated like an army knife or she's really tight, which I imagine must be real great for you. I can't understand why someone would want that stuff to taste like strawberries, let alone use lube in the first place. Don't she already got natural pube lube? You're not doing anal are you, in which case, I would imagine she'd want it to taste like strawberries after being up her ass. No offense, but that's just nasty. Either way, I'm afraid I can't recommend an alternative, being a virgin and all. I can only come up with logical hypotheses.

By the way, thanks for the sentiment, but I've pretty much dug my own grave; might as well wallow around in it and make jokes until I pass.

[ 04-26-2003, 06:00 PM: Message edited by: Ferquin ]
 

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Posted by Boodabonzi (Member # 2958) on 04-26-2003, 06:38 PM:
 
1) don't eat dinner
2) watch a commercial for <insert preferred food here>
3) you should be salivating a lot
4) go down on her so she's good and horny anyway
5) she should be ship shape and ready sir
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-26-2003, 06:40 PM:
 
She should be ship-shape for shlurpin'!

Try saying that five times fast.
 

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Posted by Boodabonzi (Member # 2958) on 04-26-2003, 06:47 PM:
 
we both know that's impossible
 

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Posted by Psybro (Member # 290) on 04-26-2003, 06:51 PM:
 
If I get to 21 without a single kiss then I'll just put it down to being a horrible person.
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-26-2003, 06:59 PM:
 
Okay, we didn't really use the lube because we had to. We just wanted to play around. She produces more than enough natural lubricant, so I really didn't need the lube in the first place. Just trying things out, ya know.
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-26-2003, 07:01 PM:
 
Then why mess with a good thing? I'm sure that roast beef tastes great without extra sauce.

Unless it's the kind from Arby's that is. I love that red ranch sauce.

Oh and just to clarify, I'm not making any allusions to period blood.

[ 04-26-2003, 07:02 PM: Message edited by: Ferquin ]
 

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Posted by EspeonNidoking (Member # 2028) on 04-26-2003, 07:11 PM:
 
lol you had thick glasses wtf?
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-26-2003, 07:34 PM:
 
Fine, fine. Playing with lube when we in fact don't really need it was probably unnecessary. But oh well, at least I learned something and hopefully you guys learned something too.

And yes, I am nearsighted and I used to wear rather thick glasses.

Oh yeah, she said my pre-cum is salty. olol?

EDIT: Also, when I first ate her, she tasted really sweet. Now, she's flavorless, haha. Maybe I've just gotten used to the taste or something.

[ 04-26-2003, 07:35 PM: Message edited by: Land und Leute ]
 

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Posted by Wintermute (Member # 5) on 04-26-2003, 07:34 PM:
 
LuL: The shit dried up so incredibly quickly and just became some sticky stuff on our hands. We just had to keep using more and more for the lubiness to continue.

Most lubes like that are water-soluble, same with plain ol' KY. If you started to sweat, for example, it would again become slippery. Fighters of various types sometimes apply it before a match for that reason. Unlike vaseline or baby oil, the ref wouldn't detect anything beforehand.

If you're using it for sexplay you could just keep a damp cloth nearby and squeeze it occasionally. (A plant mister would be ideal but may spoil the mood.)

EDIT: Playing with lube when we in fact don't really need it was probably unnecessary.

What? Hell no, it makes for a bitchin' handjob.

[ 04-26-2003, 07:37 PM: Message edited by: Wintermute ]
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-26-2003, 07:48 PM:
 
Wintermute: What? Hell no, it makes for a bitchin' handjob.

Oh yeah. She seemed to enjoy that quite a lot. Me too.
 

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Posted by Rolken (Member # 7) on 04-26-2003, 08:56 PM:
 
I'm not sure why blood turns brownish when it dries up in your bed. My guess is that it has something to do with the oxygen levels?

Actually, exposure to the atmosphere results in water vapor binding with the hemoglobin in blood, which assists in oxidizing Fe(II) to Fe(III) and forming methemoglobin; the change in electron structure alters the visible absorption spectrum such that it appears brown instead of blue or red.

i am not a nerd
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-26-2003, 09:02 PM:
 
So basically, when the water vapor touches the hemoglobin in your blood, it causes the iron in the blood to rust, and that makes it brown, right?

I can dig it.
 

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Posted by Rolken (Member # 7) on 04-26-2003, 09:15 PM:
 
Yeah, or that.
 

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Posted by The Muffin King (Member # 2240) on 04-26-2003, 09:29 PM:
 
Lol. I knew that, it's a pretty funny story why.

I had bloody nose one time, and some of it dripped into my bed, and it turned brown over time. The next day, I asked my science teacher during class, "I have some blood in my bed, and it turned brown. How come?" Only after I said it did I realize the significance of this question.

From that moment on, I became cool IRL.

[ 04-26-2003, 09:37 PM: Message edited by: The Muffin King ]
 

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Posted by Lark84 (Member # 1186) on 04-27-2003, 05:29 AM:
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Rolken:
Actually, exposure to the atmosphere results in water vapor binding with the hemoglobin in blood, which assists in oxidizing Fe(II) to Fe(III) and forming methemoglobin; the change in electron structure alters the visible absorption spectrum such that it appears brown instead of blue or red.

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i told u he was hardcore
[edit:] That goes for the Muffin King too

ceoalex: I'm not ugly, (I don't think so. I have glasses, but they're not thick and they're frameless. Of course, growing long hair (which I'm doing right now) might make me look more like a nerd) and I don't think the "nerd thing" is holding me back either. In school, perhaps, but I've been to several camps and stuff where girls always thought I was fun, a nice person, etc. Some even said I was cute.

I'm just horrible with confesing my feelings for girls, mostly because I have no fucking clue as to how she will react, and what to do if she says no. I just don't have the guts to. Being a virgin doesn't help, either, since I imagine most girls my age have at least kissed someone.

I'd like to point out, however, that I am (as previously stated) not depressed or contemplating suicide.

[ 04-27-2003, 05:31 AM: Message edited by: Lark84 ]
 

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Posted by Boodabonzi (Member # 2958) on 04-27-2003, 06:23 AM:
 
Now that I think about it I could be okay.

One time after I fingered her no end of blood came out, she shit it because she wasn't on her period for like two weeks or something. I guess maybe two fingers was a bad idea after all.

Could that of broken her whatever it's called?

I'd really like to hold on to the memory that my first lay was also a virgin beforehand.
 

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Posted by Ikuse (Member # 3037) on 04-27-2003, 06:29 AM:
 
Ferquin: People tell me things like that all the time.

"I don't know how she will react."

I always tell them the same thing.

"She's not going to fucking stab your face because you love her. Just go tell her, man."

Keep on truckin'.

Security is an important thing to have when you're dealing with girls. I know, it's hard to express your feelings toward them, but if you don't then you will regret it later on in life.
 

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Posted by Mr.E (Member # 696) on 04-27-2003, 06:51 AM:
 
I myself have decided that I will simply die alone as well. ;/ I don't know why I haven't simply decided to become a hermit and live in some random woods place where I control the rabid squirrels or whatnot, but oh well.

Also, we should change Land's Title to "HETEROSEXUAL MALE WINNER" now. Or something.

[ 04-27-2003, 06:52 AM: Message edited by: Mr.E ]
 

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Posted by Fluorine (Member # 2904) on 04-27-2003, 12:19 PM:
 
I'm 18 and haven't kissed any girl either. I don't know if it's by choice or not, though... the fact is that I've never loved anyone, I mean, never enough to justify risking to lose my dignity by approaching the girl. I would just think "hm, she looks nice", then just forget about her. I won't even bother talking to her if I don't have anything really important to say. In fact, if any girl approached me, even if she was really hot, I'd probably be really annoyed and reject her right away. That'd be hard, because I hate hurting other people's feelings, but it would be for the better.

See, I loathe any form of social relationship. It's amazing to see how little effort I do - "will you go to the prom?" - "I'll think about it" - "you have to pay next week if you want to go" - "lol, I'll think about it". Obviously, I never bother. I don't try to stay in contact with other people either. If they don't contact me, well, too bad, I don't care, lol.

I also grow tired of people very quickly. If I was to go out with a girl, I would probably want her to die the month after. My attention span and patience are awfully limited. Anyway, I'll see if I ever like a girl, then it might change, but as of now, we'd just end up hating each other's guts.
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-27-2003, 01:57 PM:
 
I don't know. You guys are still pretty young. You've still got a chance. I'm well into my adult years and past my prime. It's pretty much too late for me. Yeah, I fear rejection and all that, but the way I see it, it's better to just avoid it all together. Too much trouble. I'd have a lot to lose if I gambled on such chances. Maybe I'm just way too conservative, but it's a fine way to avoid that kind of pain. And I'd hate to burden some poor woman with having to be with me when they can have much much better. I'd be robbing some other guy of their prospective affections.

Naw, I've done the math. It's all good. You can have all the women (or men if you're so inclined). That ain't my bag anymore. Being a bachelor is well-suited for my lifestyle.
 

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Posted by Corrupt (Member # 2210) on 04-27-2003, 01:59 PM:
 
My girlfriend bled the first and second time... wtf

i guess i just have a really huge cock
 

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Posted by Gary Oak (Member # 1028) on 04-27-2003, 02:54 PM:
 

quote:

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Originally posted by Fluorine:
"lol, I'll think about it".

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That would be funny if someone actually said "lol" in a real life conversation.
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-27-2003, 02:58 PM:
 
No, actually, it'd be pretty gay.
 

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Posted by Lark84 (Member # 1186) on 04-27-2003, 03:29 PM:
 
I use "lol" in everyday conversation, but only with my 00ber g33k friends, and when I talk to myself. It goes quicker than faking a laugh.

Girl: (he's cute) Hey... You know what we had for homework?
Me: (omg she's talking 2 me stay kewl) Yes. Pages 13-16.
Girl: (I have to say something more... I want to get his attention) So, uh, you know what happened to me the other day?
Me: (wtf she likes me omg omg this might be it) No?
Girl: [insert short, funny story here]
Me: LOL
Girl: (what's wrong with this guy?) *leaves*
Me: WTF
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-27-2003, 03:46 PM:
 
Do you say "el-oh-el", or "lawl"?
 

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Posted by Boodabonzi (Member # 2958) on 04-27-2003, 04:25 PM:
 
dubbyou-tee-eff

I say lol sometimes but most girls I know have msn and use "lol" like a whore online anyway and just think I'm taking the piss out of them in a kiddy/chummy way. And girls dig that shit.
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-27-2003, 09:06 PM:
 
Ok, everyone here who's just like "omg im such a loser ill die alone w/o girlz," please stand up, stick your chest out, and say "I am a GREAT person" in a loud, thunderous voice. Seriously. Do it. Because you all are great in your own ways. Who said that you needed a girl or a guy to feel cool or complete or |337? No one. If I could, I would want to sit down with the people of the board, even if it was just for a minute, and just say "hi." So everyone here stop dissin' yourselves! It makes ::This Guy:: sad.

On another note, my girl sometimes says "dot dot dot" when she's talking. It's cute. Sometimes, I'm like "yeah... umm... sweatdrop." Ok, I'm a dork.

Also, thanks for the praise and stuff. I'm just glad I could share something with you all.
 

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Posted by Mr.E (Member # 696) on 04-28-2003, 01:14 AM:
 
I am a GREAT person

But that doesn't mean anyone else really gives a shit or thinks the same way.

[ 04-28-2003, 01:15 AM: Message edited by: Mr.E ]
 

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Posted by Knight (Member # 1378) on 04-28-2003, 08:15 AM:
 
Double U double 0 t!
 

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Posted by Face (Member # 1916) on 04-28-2003, 10:32 AM:
 
Good job....or something.
 

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Posted by Lark84 (Member # 1186) on 04-28-2003, 12:25 PM:
 
Land, I'm not depressed or contemplating suicide or anything... I feel 1337 even though I have no girlfriend. Plus I am a gr347 person too.
 

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Posted by White (Member # 2346) on 04-28-2003, 01:03 PM:
 
Keep tellin' yourself that, champ.
Also I did not know bonzibuddy had sex before; somebody please page me to every other thread he's posted in.
 

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Posted by AnnieKat (Member # 3202) on 04-28-2003, 01:05 PM:
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Lark84:
Land, I'm not depressed or contemplating suicide or anything... I feel 1337 even though I have no girlfriend. Plus I am a gr347 person too.

---

Good. Girlfriends are overrated. Mostly, we just whine and want your cash, so save your time and your money for better things. Like... Nintendo.
 

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Posted by Boodabonzi (Member # 2958) on 04-28-2003, 01:23 PM:
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by White:
Keep tellin' yourself that, champ.
Also I did not know bonzibuddy had sex before; somebody please page me to every other thread he's posted in.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Psybro:


Plus I know full well that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm too damn witty and clever for them all.

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quote:

---

Originally posted by Corrupt:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Psybro:


Plus I know full well that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm too damn witty and clever for them all.

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I sincerely hope u are kidding.

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Jeez, Admiral Comprehension, you think so?!?

Also, Booda, I would consider trying and failing to get with a single 14-year-old on the same level as being rejected by a 14-year-old after going out with her for a week.
 

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Posted by Boodabonzi (Member # 2958) on 04-28-2003, 02:29 PM:
 
dude I got my fingers wet, she pissed me off, I dumped her, also it was two weeks and I have a new 14 year old now
 

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Posted by Corrupt (Member # 2210) on 04-28-2003, 02:34 PM:
 
Then maybe he should stop chatting them up with nerdy jokes..... no offence
 

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Posted by Psybro (Member # 290) on 04-28-2003, 03:12 PM:
 
what
 

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Posted by NintendoLover (Member # 3138) on 04-28-2003, 05:04 PM:
 
Psybro I think you should back off. Corrupt is way above your level when it comes to girls. I thought you would have realized this by now.
 

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Posted by 137 (Member # 1465) on 04-28-2003, 05:40 PM:
 
Sounds like a thumbs-up is in order, Land, in conjunction with an awkward and indecipherable facial expression.
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-28-2003, 06:23 PM:
 
Hey, no need to bash each other here... plenty of that going on at Pojo already.

So anyway, my girl wants to try something new... light bondage. What do I mean by "light bondage?" I dunno, it's her words. Anyway, she seems to like the idea of having her arms and legs tied to her bedposts, while I fervently tease her with my tongue, hands, and other parts. She doesn't want to be hit or anything, she just finds very arousing the idea of being totally helpless while I do what I please. Hey, I like it too. So does anyone know anything about this "light bondage" stuff? Is there supposed to be special rope that I have to buy? Is there a way to tie the rope?

Geez, I wish handcuffs would be enough for her.

EDIT: Typos.

[ 04-28-2003, 09:34 PM: Message edited by: Land und Leute ]
 

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Posted by pkthunder (Member # 67) on 04-28-2003, 07:23 PM:
 
Yeah, I used to think I was into "light bondage" too, before that stupid bitch-ass ice cold can of iced tea came along.
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-28-2003, 09:34 PM:
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by pkthunder:
Yeah, I used to think I was into "light bondage" too, before that stupid bitch-ass ice cold can of iced tea came along.

---

Hmm... I like... I might try that.
 

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Posted by Ferquin (Member # 3269) on 04-28-2003, 09:59 PM:
 
Gnyah... Whatever floats yer boat, dude. Bondage is just too weird. Just get with the sex instead of the erotic torture thing. Why make it painful? Goodness knows I don't wanna read stories of her defacating on you or nothin' like them wacky Germans do.

[ 04-28-2003, 10:02 PM: Message edited by: Ferquin ]
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 04-28-2003, 10:17 PM:
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Ferquin:
Just get with the sex instead of the erotic torture thing. Why make it painful? Goodness knows I don't wanna read stories of her defacating on you or nothin' like them wacky Germans do.

---

I really don't want to make it physically painful for her. I mean I love her and I would never do that. No whips, chains, spinning sawblades, clubs, swords, or guns. That's just weird. I just wanna tease her. I mean, imagine this...

Imagine someone you totally want, going all over you... running their tongue all over you... rubbing against you in all the right places... up and down... front and back... all over the place... And then she (or he) would start going... first slowly, then gradually quicker... and quicker... and quicker... and just when you are about to..... she (or he) would stop... And tease you some more... And just when you were about to..... she would stop. And all this time, you were totally helpless to do anything about it. Wahaha.

And I hope she doesn't defecate on me. Ewwwww...

EDIT: Typo, again.

[ 04-28-2003, 10:20 PM: Message edited by: Land und Leute ]
 

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Posted by AnnieKat (Member # 3202) on 04-28-2003, 10:19 PM:
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Land und Leute:
Also what is light bondage

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Land und Leute:
[QBI really don't want to make it physically painful for her. I mean I love her and I would never do that. No whips, chains, spinning sawblades, clubs, swords, or guns. That's just weird. I just wanna tease her. I mean, imagine this...

Imagine someone you totally want, going all over you... running their tongue all over you... rubbing against you in all the right places... up and down... front and back... all over the place... And then she (or he) would start going... first slowly, then gradually quicker... and quicker... and quicker... and just when you are about to..... she (or he) would stop... And tease you some more... And just when you were about to..... she would stop. And all this time, you were totally helpless to do anything about it. Wahaha.

And I hope she doesn't defecate on me. Ewwwww...

EDIT: Typo, again.[/QB]

---

OMG! *orgasms*
 

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Posted by Cloud9x (Member # 2805) on 04-29-2003, 03:31 AM:
 
this calls for a bud light.
fuck i read this entire thread at 3 am
 

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Posted by Corrupt (Member # 2210) on 04-29-2003, 11:26 AM:
 
btw who the fuk's gimmick account is "nintendolover" it's getting old.

My gf is we've been goin out for three years, neither of us come into the ugly category as much as u may believe otherwise
 

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Posted by Psybro (Member # 290) on 04-29-2003, 12:53 PM:
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Land und Leute:
Imagine someone you totally want, going all over you... running their tongue all over you... rubbing against you in all the right places... up and down... front and back... all over the place... And then she (or he) would start going... first slowly, then gradually quicker... and quicker... and quicker... and just when you are about to..... she (or he) would stop... And tease you some more... And just when you were about to..... she would stop. And all this time, you were totally helpless to do anything about it. Wahaha.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by starCaliber:
lolling

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Land und Leute:
Imagine someone you totally want, going all over you... running their tongue all over you... rubbing against you in all the right places... up and down... front and back... all over the place... And then she (or he) would start going... first slowly, then gradually quicker... and quicker... and quicker... and just when you are about to..... she (or he) would stop... And tease you some more... And just when you were about to..... she would stop. And all this time, you were totally helpless to do anything about it. Wahaha.

And I hope she doesn't defecate on me. Ewwwww...

EDIT: Typo, again.[/QB]

---

This made me think about the thread where jumpman(?) fantasized about sabrina using her psychic powers to stall your orgasm.
 

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Posted by HolyOmeganAngel (Member # 2565) on 05-02-2003, 11:12 PM:
 
*received his driving permit tuesday...it was a sure sign that God hates all small animals that may be on or near the road*

*went driving today and nearly hit a duck ;[...ducks are k00l!30z so i felt bad *
 

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Posted by Thomaz (Member # 3330) on 05-03-2003, 04:13 PM:
 
I am a GREAT PERSON

quote:

---

You know, I haven't had a kiss either... I'm eight-fucking-teen year old.

I have realised that there is no hope for me. That's why I have completely given up on girls, instead I play videogames and masturbate to Krystal hentai three-four times a day to stop the pain in my heart.

---

/me does not really agree, I mean I'm 17, thus I still have a chance (if I put my lense in again, I have a better chance )
 

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Posted by Knight (Member # 1378) on 05-03-2003, 05:04 PM:
 
Seriously guys, lordy had a girlfriend and if lordy can get a girlfriend anyone can have a girlfriend.
 

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Posted by Dav1dL (Member # 2046) on 05-03-2003, 05:45 PM:
 
As long as you don't post his pic, it's cool.
 

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Posted by moogleman (Member # 1017) on 05-03-2003, 08:59 PM:
 
I think you should post it. Nostalgic.
 

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Posted by Psybro (Member # 290) on 05-04-2003, 11:57 AM:
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Knight:
Seriously guys, lordy had a girlfriend and if lordy can get a girlfriend anyone can have a girlfriend.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Pornbot:
No, I ask because I usually huck em' in a dumpster behind IHOP, I have my fingerprints burned off so they can't track me.

---

Touching an open stove multiple times to see if it gets colder doesn't count.
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 05-10-2003, 11:42 AM:
 
Hello all. I have been unable to post due to the fact that I posted "pi" in Anthrax's game thread a week ago and got banned. Oh well.

Anyway, I just thought I'd update everyone on what's going on.

Firstly, my girl bled again when I did her recently. I guess she still was still a bit tight and not yet loosened up yet. So, I guess it is not unusual for a girl to bleed more than once.

Secondly, I decided to use the lube on her. Heh heh. I put some in the palm of my hand and preceded to rub it all over her treasure area and inside as well. She screamed like crazy. Hooray. I found something new.

Also, I still haven't done that "light bondage" stuff with her so you can still post any suggestions. Because my bed does not have bedposts, and she's probably gonna come over soon, I decided to slide the rope under the mattress instead of tying it to bedposts. I hope it works as well, otherwise she will be saaaad.

Also, she likes pie. I like pie too!

kthxbai
 

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Posted by Dweedle (Member # 1209) on 05-10-2003, 12:43 PM:
 
THANKS FOR THE UPDATE SKIPPY
 

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Posted by Pornbot (Member # 1321) on 05-10-2003, 01:02 PM:
 
Make sure you give her a swift blow to the head before you come, girls love that shit
 

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Posted by Windex (Member # 9) on 05-10-2003, 04:24 PM:
 
do her in the ass and then spit on her back and say you cummed then when she turns around blow your load right in her face.
 

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Posted by Pornbot (Member # 1321) on 05-10-2003, 05:47 PM:
 
I also approve of the previous strategy.
 

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Posted by Psybro (Member # 290) on 05-10-2003, 07:12 PM:
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Windex:
do her in the ass and then spit on her back and say you cummed then when she turns around blow your load right in her face.

---

 

---

Posted by Boodabonzi (Member # 2958) on 05-11-2003, 11:05 AM:
 
I can't spit that much. I'd have to vomit.
 

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Posted by Land und Leute (Member # 1040) on 05-11-2003, 04:28 PM:
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Windex:
do her in the ass and then spit on her back and say you cummed then when she turns around blow your load right in her face.

---

LOL!! That's awesome! Though I'm not sure if she's ready to be done in the ass.

EDIT: Whoa, I'm "HETEROSEXUAL" now. w00t.

[ 05-11-2003, 05:45 PM: Message edited by: Land und Leute ]
 

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Posted by MK (Member # 1445) on 05-11-2003, 04:36 PM:
 
Land und Leute, check your private messages...
 

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Posted by Mr. K (Member # 2) on 06-10-2005, 04:02 AM:
 
I am not sure what I think about this thread.
 

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Posted by Wintermute (Member # 5) on 06-10-2005, 09:50 AM:
 
Features much of that weird internet forthrightness I find mildly & pleasantly baffling. We didn't have that when I was a kid. Also reminded me of White's existence.
 

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Posted by starCaliber (Member # 268) on 06-10-2005, 12:42 PM:
 
sup toby
 

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Posted by Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk (Member # 14) on 06-19-2005, 06:01 AM:
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by starCaliber:
sup toby

---