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Author Topic: [Project Porygon] Mr. K vs. StarCaliber
starCaliber
is evil and also MewtwoSama
Member # 268

Member Rated:
posted 02-24-2001 09:26 AM      Profile for starCaliber   Email starCaliber   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Some of us have never played a nonstandard team on PBS before.

Some of us have never played PBS before.

And some of us have never seen elephants eat shit out of each other's asses.

There's a first time for everything.

During one of my mid-morning sprees of internet surfing, I was in Azure Chat, as was Mr. K. He asked me if I wanted to play with him and his Porygon. I had nothing better to do, so I was all, "Hell yeah."

I was all excited, cuz the only real trainer who's ever fought K to my knowledge was cfalcon, and here I was, getting a chance to put up dukes with the Azurian leader just to help test out Project Porygon.

I went ahead and logged into PBS with a new team, and clicked wait. Sure enough...

Mr.K wants to fight!

I really couldn't believe this biz. Talk about hella cool.

So anyway, I led Flareon. As expected, K sent out the almighty ass-kicking Wigglytuff. Flareon focused, while Wiggly slapped a friendly T-Wave on the poor Eeveelution's ass. Thinking I was gonna show this Wiggly who was boss for the PAR, I selected Body Slam.

But Mr. K had other plans, as he brought in Psyduck, thinking this would be the perfect time for the water pre-evolution to strut his stuff. Fortunately for me, the Focus Energy did its job, and the Body Slam was a CH, dropping Psyduck to 20%. K chose to cut his losses, and rather than salvaging Psyduck, hit with a super-effective Surf, dropping Flareon to 58% and taking the faint on the next Body Slam.

6-5, SC.

K decides that it's time for Flareon to die, and sends out Snorlax. After deciding that Snorlax was probably his scariest Pokémon, I pulled Flareon, and sent out Ditto. My Ditto was equipped with Transform, Absorb, Absorb, and Absorb. I'd hate to be a frozen water Pokémon against that snap!

Anyway, Snorlax used Earthquake on the switch, so Ditto was hurting at 59% from the start. Before any minds were changed, I hit Transform...

...and out comes Koffing! Shitto had been had. After "Transforming" into Koffing, however, he was still a Ditto, with the moves I originally had assigned him. Note to Kero: fix Transform so I can use purple goo Pokémon.

Anyway, Ditto now knew he was in some trouble. Especially considering that Absorb isn't too great against Koffing (and STABless at that). I went ahead and hit his ass with an Absorb, and it brought Ditto from 59% all the fucking way up to 60%! Yeah, now we're talking! Then, Koffing used T-Bolt and Sludge, while Ditto was desperately Absorbing to regain health. Final result: Ditto is worse than Koffing.

5-5, tie.

Enraged that Ditto had died so foolishly, I decided it was time to bring on some big guns. Out goes Charizard. Thankfully, Ditto had used enough Absorbs to bring that Koffing's stinky ass down to 92%, which was a perfect kill setup for Charizard. I blasted him with Fire, dropping him to 26%, and his T-bolt payback dropped Charizard to 64%, which is pretty good for STABless Koffing. Anyway, Charizard hit with another blast of da heat, and Koffing lay lifeless like a burnt out stinkbomb.

5-4, SC.

Off the bench returns Snorlax, who had just coyly tricked Ditto into death. But Charizard knew of this. And boy was he pissed.

I let loose with yet another Fire Blast, bringing K's Lax down to 66%, and hitting up with some friendly BRN. But just as Charizard started to celebrate, his ass took a hard Body Slamming, he falls to 29%, and eats some PAR.

Thanks to the speed reduction, noble Charizard eats another Body Slam, and is toasted.

4-4, tie.

Fortunately, there was a mad-ass Machump on my bench, equipped with not only Submission, but homosexual Fighting Pokémon panties to boot. Out goes Machump, who wastes no time, only Pokémon. Sleep well, Lax.

4-3, SC.

Sittin' pretty at 80% (thanks to huge recoil off Submission cuzza Snorlax's HP), Machump gayly displayed his panties, as K send out his fighting ace, Hitmonlee.

Not exactly sure how to deal with this snap, Machump starts playing with himself, and winds up getting pumped. Foolishly thinking that Machump would leave his own body parts alone, K had ordered Lee to counter, but it did nothing. Machump seemed most pleased with his ass.

Lee lets out a ferocious Rolling Kick, bringing Machamp to 54%, but the Pantied Pokémon was nowhere near done. Nossir, he lets out a Focused Body Slam, which hits for a CH, bringing K's asskicking Lee down to 29%. Lee shoots out a Hi Jump Kick, pulling the Chump down to 20%, but it was too late, as the Chump busts the ground open with an EQ, felling Bruce Lee.

4-2, SC.

Out comes Mr. K's famous Butterfree, and knowing that I was screwed as far as Machamp goes, I decided it would be best to eat the embarrassment of having lost a Pokémon to Butterfree, rather than switching and losing Machamp to something else later.

3-2, SC.

Trying not to be too scared of this flying insect, I thought, "What would Tarzan do?"

So obviously, I sent out a killer snake.

Arbok and Buttterfree exchanged Glare for Stun Spore, and then I screeched his ass on the following turn's FP. Mr. K sees firsthand how shitty FP can be on PBS.

Arbok bites him down to 62%, and more FP strikes. I could tell K was getting annoyed with shitty FP, especially considering my snake thing was paralyzed as well. I Bite him again, and he lands on 20%, as he finally breaks thru the FP, using a super-effective special dropping Psychic, landing Snakeass on 49%.

However, Arbok was one hungry fuck. No FP slows him down. Another Bite finishes off the insect meal.

3-1, SC.

K brings back his lead, Wiggly. The Tuff is obviously ÜberPyssed, and wastes no time. A damn agressive Body Slam busts the hell out of Arbok, with a CH.

2-1, SC.

I can almost hear the chant of "Wiggly!" taunting me in my head. You sure don't want to get that thing riled up.

I decide to give Flareon another shot, and it comes back to Flareon vs. Wigglytuff, same as the start. K decides to roll the dice, and Wiggly tries to pretend that Flareon is MT0's old signature. A giant Hyper Beam busts loose...

...

DaSwiftSneaka's FLAREON at 3% health.

Excellent, says I. Flareon used his Body Slam for that turn hitting the Wiggly up with some PAR, and dropping it to 75%. Pondering commences. Flareon wants this battle to end with him, and he wants it to end with style.

An FP anywhere in this would totally fuck my ass over, so it was risky.

On the recharge, Flareon Focused up, and had to hope. Next turn...

Your opponent ended the battle.

K got the same message, so it was assumed that Hyper Beam hit. Damn Exit Bug.

2-0, SC.

On the bench, I had a Jolteon with Thundershock, Thunder Wave, Double Kick, and Tackle. He was ready to go, should the need arise.

Anyway, damn fine match, K. I wasn't sure exactly what you'd play, so I think I mighta used a little bit too good of a team.

People like Mr. K are the kind of people that make Pokémon fun to play. I have a pretty good feeling that the next SneakTourney will be Sucky Cup now. There's a good deal of skill found there.

Epilogue:

After the battle, Wigglytuff wasn't too happy, so it proceeded to approach a Clefaggot, pull a knife, and hang it on a hook to dry in the sun. The Clefaggot skin should be dried sometime tomorrow.

Mr. K and I decided that we'd have an Ekans vs. Koffing battle the next time we played, as it should be a pretty even match. And in order for Jolteon to play, it should probably be at L75 with standard moves.

K, it was an honor to test Project Porygon with you (which is looking very nice, I might add). Major props on that biz, man.

Afterwards, we talked about elephants at the zoo.

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"Ever see an elephant reach into the asshole of another, pull out a whole wad of poop, and eat it?"
- Mr. K, during a conversation about the Zoo


From: San Francisco, CA | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Jman
Farting Nudist
Member # 618

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posted 02-24-2001 11:02 AM      Profile for Jman   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Yay, good job, both of yins.

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LOBSTER STICKS TO MAGNET!


From: da burgh | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mr. K
Racist
Member # 2

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posted 02-24-2001 06:06 PM      Profile for Mr. K   Author's Homepage   Email Mr. K   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
StarCaliber: Final result: Ditto is worse than Koffing.

Only in PBS. Well, maybe in the real game, but it's a tough job finding someone worse than Koffing. Not that he isn't great in other ways, of course. Thanks for letting him take a kill. That was nice.

Sleep well, Lax.

I should have done something else here, given that Lax was burnt, but it's a tough call. Probably should have brought in Lee right away. Wiggly and 'free were not options, tho. Too much faith in Lax.

Sittin' pretty at 80% (thanks to huge recoil off Submission cuzza Snorlax's HP)

Ah, that's where those HP went! Thanks, SC.

Mr. K sees firsthand how shitty FP can be on PBS.

Well, FP can suck anywhere, but it really sucked for me. Did you get FP'd at all? Fucker.

DaSwiftSneaka's FLAREON at 3% health.

I think Porygon rigged the game. He's upset that I'm not his favorite.

Damn Exit Bug.

PBS sucks.

Of course, with no PBS, we wouldn't have had the battle at all, so the fact that it sucks is moot, I guess.

Anyway, damn fine match, K.

Back at ya. I'll have to get some practice in and stop being so damn experimental in my tactics. Stick to what works.

I wasn't sure exactly what you'd play, so I think I mighta used a little bit too good of a team.

Hmmm. Maybe. Ditto's no prince, tho. If the FP had gone the other way and I had been a little smarter, I could have pulled it out. Jolteon dies in 1-2 Lax Quakes anyway.

There's a good deal of skill found there.

Let me know if you find mine!

After the battle, Wigglytuff wasn't too happy, so it proceeded to approach a Clefaggot, pull a knife, and hang it on a hook to dry in the sun. The Clefaggot skin should be dried sometime tomorrow.

There's still blood all over the place and Pory refuses to clean it up. Oh well. Gives the place atmosphere.

And in order for Jolteon to play, it should probably be at L75 with standard moves.

L75 might be a little too pity. L90 would be a good place to start to see how it goes.

K, it was an honor to test Project Porygon with you (which is looking very nice, I might add).

Thanks...looks like we might be able to open it to the public soon.

Some notes...

As usual, my battle inexperience was evident. I think this was also compounded by the fact that I'm not used to absolutely everything having max stats.

At any rate...major tactical errors:

1. Too much faith in Koffing. When will I ever learn? He's got to blow up as soon as possible. He's got no business mucking around with a Zard. Just hoping for a missed Fire Blast, I guess. Oh well, at least he beat the totally bugged and useless Ditto.

2. Too much faith in Snorlax. OK, I guess I just really underestimated Machump. Snorlax should have blown up earlier.

3. Not enough faith in Lee. If I had been patient, Machump had to attack some time, so I could have kept using Counter...of course, I thought he had Rock Slide, so I thought the game was up once I did it once. Anyway, I didn't think he'd survive a CH anything from Chump, so I tried for flinch, then just max damage before death. I think I'm just used to him dying in one Psychic. Got to take him more seriously. Sorry, Lee.

4. Forgetting that Focus Energy is a valid option in PBS, even after seeing Flareon use it once. I also could have used it on Lee. But, c'mon, that Counter would have been sweet.

5. My team sucks vs. Fighting. 2 Normals and Butterfree (who dies in one Rock Slide). I'll have to take Fighting Pokemon more seriously in the future.

6. I think my most important thing was...I deviated from The Plan. Instead of having Wiggly do his thing, I tried to make Psyduck the hero. I have learnt in the past that my team can't handle much switching. One free shot is usually at least equivalent to 50% damage to one of my guys. I forgot Clint's words and didn't know my limitations.

Next time, Red Baron!

By the way, lest all the above sound too bitchy, let me be clear...that was a lot of fun. Hope to do it again at some point.

Thanks for the game.

------------------
"Burn your forget-me-nots; admit that true love can die." -TMBG


From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Viktor
Farting Nudist
Member # 346

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posted 02-24-2001 10:42 PM      Profile for Viktor     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I just battled GK with fun teams like that. We like to call them "cool teams". You only realize how fun it is during the battle, I recommend everyone battles like this.

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"And to think of all the time i wasted at Moe's"
"Wasted? What about our staring contests?"


From: Pennsylvania, USA | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
KeroKato
Farting Nudist
Member # 230

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posted 02-25-2001 01:13 AM      Profile for KeroKato   Author's Homepage   Email KeroKato   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I can't "fix" Transform since it was never even made.

Besides, Blizz made it very difficult for attacks like Mimic and Transform to take place in PBS. It's gonna take a lot of work to get those two in.


From: I dunno, somewhere | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
OrientalNoodle
Farting Nudist
Member # 616

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posted 02-25-2001 06:04 AM      Profile for OrientalNoodle   Author's Homepage   Email OrientalNoodle   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
SC: Your writing about the Machamp was funny as all hell

Interesting match, but ehh... Mr. K... If it's named Project Porygon... Then where's the Porygon? Or is it to fool the enemy?

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This is a sig. Do not think as a subliminal message, saying "Give all your money to OrientalNoodle".


From: Hanko, -, Finland | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mr. K
Racist
Member # 2

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posted 02-25-2001 03:26 PM      Profile for Mr. K   Author's Homepage   Email Mr. K   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
OrientalNoodle: If it's named Project Porygon... Then where's the Porygon?

Right here:


From: Cinnabar Island | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
starCaliber
is evil and also MewtwoSama
Member # 268

Member Rated:
posted 02-25-2001 11:09 PM      Profile for starCaliber   Email starCaliber   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
OrientalNoodle: Your writing about the Machamp was funny as all hell

Thanks, I guess, but I think I offended some minorities.

------------------
"Ever see an elephant reach into the asshole of another, pull out a whole wad of poop, and eat it?"
- Mr. K, during a conversation about the Zoo


From: San Francisco, CA | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mick_Hale
Total Moron
Member # 419

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posted 06-05-2001 09:10 AM      Profile for Mick_Hale   Email Mick_Hale   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I like this battle log. It comes back now.

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"Hahaha, you are too cool." - StarCaliber


From: Thornhill, Ontario, Canada | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged
Biffster
Farting Nudist
Member # 269

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posted 06-05-2001 04:51 PM      Profile for Biffster     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
StarCaliber: And in order for Jolteon to play, it should probably be at L75 with standard moves.

SC thought of level cup?


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Somebody is quickly becoming my least favorite newbie.
-Anthrax concerning Jigglypuff


From: Viridian City (On the road at least) | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Jumpman16
Farting Nudist
Member # 1089

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posted 10-12-2001 06:22 PM      Profile for Jumpman16   Author's Homepage   Email Jumpman16   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I still like this battle log. Back it comes.
From: Where they make Heinz® ketchup | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
Jman
Farting Nudist
Member # 618

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posted 10-13-2001 07:21 PM      Profile for Jman   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by StarCaliber:
OrientalNoodle: Your writing about the Machamp was funny as all hell

Thanks, I guess, but I think I offended some minorities.


Yes, all RBY Fighting types...

(I am fucking hilarious... laugh, dammit!)


From: da burgh | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged


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