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Author Topic: Signature Weapons of Board Members
10,000Lb.Snorlax
loves long time.
Member # 13

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posted 05-01-2003 10:26 PM      Profile for 10,000Lb.Snorlax   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
When I used to work on this ranch in Wyoming we had this really big tool room where dozens and dozens of strange looking tools were strung up. We used to play this game where you had to pick one of the tools (Like the 36" pipe wrench) to be your "signature weapon." There were huge sledges ("Mauls") and this weird steel drill used for plumbing that looked very dangerous. Also sickles and razor knives etc. Anyway - my weapon turned out to be twin carpenter hammers - one for each hand. I think they were about 14" each -- so you could wield them pretty quick. But a direct hit to the face would be effective

So what would be your signature weapon if you were any of the following :

1) Knight
2) Barbarian
3) Angry postal worker
4) Serial killer
5) Navy Seal
6) Counter Striker (1337 desert falkon rifle !!! 11!!)

5th century it would be all about a samurai sword

14th century I would use a rapier and saber combo

In the 1700s I would make exploding coconuts and use them as bombs.

I think in modern day I would sport the double black Glocks tilted to tha' side gangsta style.

Sometime in the distant future I will have a black Lightsaber which I shall call "Darksaber"

FYI - Sama will have the "L" tetris piece made into a deadly sickle. Mr. K will control ICBMS from his underground office in Florida as well as a human-eating Jigglypuff that does his bidding. Cfalcon will have an army of tiny Silver Robots that he controls. EN will have magical pixies that have sleep dust that they sprinkle on people. PKThun will have an S&M whip like Ivy on Soul Caliber. SC will have that red car that he has as his picture on the Uber Forums and it will be pimped out with rockets and a flamethrower in the back. Also biffster will be a Ninja utilizing his 1337 DDR dance skills. Anthrax will have this white dust that causes people to die and he will carry it in a cute little purse made from human skin. And he will wear a hat with a large green feather in it.

From: Denver | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
PikaBlade
I AM A GIRL
Member # 1039

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posted 05-01-2003 10:34 PM      Profile for PikaBlade   Author's Homepage   Email PikaBlade   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A cat-of-nine-tales whip, leather tails with bits of broken glass in 'em. Maybe some metal spikes in there, too. The more pain the better.

Would Anthrax's little elf-fairy-thingy hat double as another weapon? [Embarrassed]

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~*Pikablade*~
"Truly, if there is evil in the world, it lies within the hearts of mankind." -Tales of Phantasia

From: Roanoke, VA | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
AnnieKat
Suicidal Failure
Member # 3202

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posted 05-01-2003 10:50 PM      Profile for AnnieKat   Author's Homepage   Email AnnieKat   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Hermes scarves.

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aתּņĩềκẢ†~ nθW |’m @ r33| ķıťŧŷ

Anthrax, will you marry me?

From: Anthrax's Love Nest | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged
Anthrax
Ultimate Authoritative Power in the Universe
Member # 335

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posted 05-01-2003 10:55 PM      Profile for Anthrax   Author's Homepage   Email Anthrax   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
i fail to see the significance of a hat with a large green feather in it

[ 05-01-2003, 10:56 PM: Message edited by: Anthrax ]

From: Somebody put shit in my pants! | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Fenix
I live in a public bathroom.
Member # 2371

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posted 05-01-2003 11:02 PM      Profile for Fenix   Author's Homepage   Email Fenix   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Kenshin's Reverse Blade Sword.

Failing that, a fucking bigass scythe.

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life of lively to live to life of full life thx to shield battery

From: The Homeworld, Aiur | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged
Donald
Bob the Builder
Member # 1551

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posted 05-01-2003 11:07 PM      Profile for Donald   Email Donald      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A well placed international object such as a steel chair.

Failing that, a MASSIVE book to the head.

From: In your girl's panties | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged
IceHawk78
NOBODY IMPORTANT
Member # 1699

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posted 05-01-2003 11:13 PM      Profile for IceHawk78   Author's Homepage   Email IceHawk78   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My psionic formation have whatever shaped they need.
From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
pkthunder
I look like your mom.
Member # 67

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posted 05-01-2003 11:19 PM      Profile for pkthunder   Author's Homepage   Email pkthunder   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
omg 10k is a cowboy
From: Broomfield, CO | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Artie Cuno
Linkin125473457539
Member # 1205

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posted 05-01-2003 11:20 PM      Profile for Artie Cuno     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A top-quality, frozen salmon.

Or maybe a sword. Masamuuuuune..........

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Piss off not the kittens, lest they claw your balls off.

From: A box in a swamp. With your sister. | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mentar the Malady Monkey
worst username ever
Member # 1182

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posted 05-01-2003 11:20 PM      Profile for Mentar the Malady Monkey   Email Mentar the Malady Monkey   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A bow (or a gun in modern/futuristic times). Fuck this medieval weaponry shit, nothing matters if you have the range advantage.
From: Pandemonium, HL, Hades | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
IceHawk78
NOBODY IMPORTANT
Member # 1699

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posted 05-01-2003 11:25 PM      Profile for IceHawk78   Author's Homepage   Email IceHawk78   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Mentar the Malady Monkey:
A bow (or a gun in modern/futuristic times). Fuck this medieval weaponry shit, nothing matters if you have the range advantage.

Elf?
From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Coxy
Hulkamania has run wild over me.
Member # 2297

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posted 05-02-2003 12:10 AM      Profile for Coxy   Email Coxy   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Razor Sword. Nothing can beat a sword with a great slive of razor-sharp steel welded onto the side of it.

Failing that, the Great Fairy Sword. Do not underestimate the power of the BLACK ROSES ETCHED IN THE SIDE.

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I love nintendolover, but only in a strictly platonic sense.

From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

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posted 05-02-2003 12:34 AM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
"Red Wizard needs food badly
Blue Warrior shot the food
Blue Warrior shot the food"

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Twinkle
I'm feeling fat and sassy~!
Member # 1690

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posted 05-02-2003 12:36 AM      Profile for Twinkle        Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Access to the source code of the universe.

And something to make backups on.

Failing that, Samus's Power Suit, or rather one just like hers except that it would be mine and therefore would fit me. And it would be running Linux.

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Hich loch faauto noxlattoyen.

From: Brinstar | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Badcrow
Cute Fluffy Squirrel
Member # 684

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posted 05-02-2003 12:40 AM      Profile for Badcrow     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A black pistol with the inscription "Jesus Christ is in Heaven now".
Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
Kingler
Farting Nudist
Member # 2316

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posted 05-02-2003 02:15 AM      Profile for Kingler   Email Kingler   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Superdragon on grenade mode

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arise chicken, arise

From: Arlington, TX | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
The Muffin King
Farting Nudist
Member # 2240

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posted 05-02-2003 02:58 PM      Profile for The Muffin King   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Swarms of Blueberrylisks and Poppyseedlings to rush with.

[ 05-02-2003, 02:58 PM: Message edited by: The Muffin King ]

From: Maryland | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged
Triple C
Colonel Cock Chomper
Member # 6

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posted 05-02-2003 03:00 PM      Profile for Triple C     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'd have to choose between Sun and Moon blades, Yuan Yang razors, or a katana with a goddamn six-foot blade
From: Dudleyville | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
starCaliber
is evil and also MewtwoSama
Member # 268

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posted 05-02-2003 03:10 PM      Profile for starCaliber   Email starCaliber   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
that pretty much would be my signature weapon sans the instruments of death and also replace "signature weapon" with "primary form of transportation"

however, i am broke as fuck and cannot afford it.

From: San Francisco, CA | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
ReturnofNumeroUno
Farting Nudist
Member # 476

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posted 05-02-2003 03:40 PM      Profile for ReturnofNumeroUno   Email ReturnofNumeroUno   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
dynamite strapped to my body, "ALLAH ACKBA!"

[ 05-02-2003, 03:42 PM: Message edited by: ReturnofNumeroUno ]

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Ich Liebe NintendoLover

From: Pembroke Pines Florida | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

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posted 05-02-2003 04:43 PM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
photon torpedoes

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OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
HolyOmeganAngel
Farting Nudist
Member # 2565

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posted 05-02-2003 05:29 PM      Profile for HolyOmeganAngel   Author's Homepage   Email HolyOmeganAngel   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
three jars/viles containing ebola, anthrax, and hmmm hata virus
;(...oh and something i could mix into the water...unless ebola and anthrax can mix in the water

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...

From: Universe | Registered: Jan 2002  |  IP: Logged
Thomaz
Farting Nudist
Member # 3330

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posted 05-02-2003 05:34 PM      Profile for Thomaz   Author's Homepage   Email Thomaz   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
the Sol Blade [Smile]

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Nothing.

From: Netherlands | Registered: Apr 2003  |  IP: Logged
dr.steelix
Farting Nudist
Member # 2734

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posted 05-02-2003 06:21 PM      Profile for dr.steelix     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
My weapon would be a magical wand, it would be a wand which is similar to the wands that the koopalings in smb3 have, and its attack also would be similar to the attacks of the wands that the koopalings in smb3 have.

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i am sorry

From: Israel | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged
SDShamshel
Farting Nudist
Member # 791

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posted 05-03-2003 01:17 AM      Profile for SDShamshel   Email SDShamshel   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Pox-marked Blanket Bazooka.

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Pretty de Cure Cure
Futari wa Precure

From: Tokyo-3 | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
Charmeleon42
Date Rapist
Member # 1066

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posted 05-03-2003 01:52 AM      Profile for Charmeleon42   Author's Homepage   Email Charmeleon42   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 

From: Mountain Dew Land | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
Mr.E
Farting Nudist
Member # 696

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posted 05-03-2003 03:16 AM      Profile for Mr.E     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
fgt cannon

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MickHale18: nevermind, I'll pull out for a second
MickHale18: *pulls out finger*

From: Munchkin Land, Oz | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
Tghost
Farting Nudist
Member # 1418

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posted 05-03-2003 05:36 AM      Profile for Tghost   Author's Homepage   Email Tghost   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Koffing.
From: Auckland, New Zealand | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ferquin
Farting Nudist
Member # 3269

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posted 05-03-2003 02:07 PM      Profile for Ferquin   Author's Homepage   Email Ferquin   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Probably a large blunt object. I guess the best thing would be a steel bat or large hammer of some kind. I'm just not smart with handling other weapons. I just know that blunt objects hurt when you smash people with them. I have shitty aim and I can't chop or slice worth a damn.

Me smash good!

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Ferquin N.C. Root
The Ferquinarium

From: Renton, WA, USA | Registered: Feb 2003  |  IP: Logged
Donald
Bob the Builder
Member # 1551

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posted 05-03-2003 02:30 PM      Profile for Donald   Email Donald      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Based on your last topic and this one, I must conclude that this is leading to a story of some sort.

Details, please.

[ 05-03-2003, 02:32 PM: Message edited by: Donald ]

From: In your girl's panties | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged
Anthrax
Ultimate Authoritative Power in the Universe
Member # 335

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posted 05-03-2003 06:11 PM      Profile for Anthrax   Author's Homepage   Email Anthrax   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
if i had my choice i'd carry around a small knife, two sai, a smallish handgun, a one-handed warhammer, and of course an old fashioned bug-sprayer filled with smallpox.
From: Somebody put shit in my pants! | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Lunair
Farting Nudist
Member # 681

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posted 05-04-2003 02:41 AM      Profile for Lunair     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A specially- and illegally-modified trumpet + related items (with a flugelhorn for those jobs that require heavier artillery) which do an Entire Myriad Of Deleterious Things to the Person Who Is On The Receiving End Of My Action (or, in technical terms, the Target).
  • Mouthpiece: Tranquilizer blow-dart.
  • Bell: Sonic shockwave rockets (gargantuan blast of infrasound that drives all objects away from point of impact; has that cool light-bending effect that Charge Shots have in Metroid Prime/the effect from Rogue Leader concussion missiles).
  • Straight Mute: standard fragmentation grenade.
  • Cup Mute: edible blazing electric death.
  • Harmon Mute, no stem: Smoke grenade.
  • Harmon Mute, stem in: emits an electromagnetic pulse either on impact or 5 seconds after being thrown.
  • Harmon Mute, stem out: radio beacon, deployed by placing on the upright on the ground.
  • Harmon Mute Stem: 4 seconds after being thrown, the stem emits an intense, 0.5-second burst of light in the entire visible spectrum; repetitions at 8 and 11 seconds.
  • Bubble Mute: immobilization grenade, exploding into an expanding and solidifying cloud of bubbles, for incapacitating without killing/rendering unconscious the Target(s), and deterring pursuers.
  • Plunger: powerful, directed limpet-type explosive.
  • Valve Oil: Blue Juice (nuthin' else Does), useful for slowing pursuit when on non-porous surfaces. Modified container allows for both celerity of deployment and projection towards eyes.
  • Slide Grease: useful in situations which require the use of slide grease.
  • Pencil: mechanical. Can be reloaded with scavenged graphite slugs from same-caliber abandoned pencils. Can be used as an aid to memory.
  • Case: combination bludgeoning weapon, shield, and container. Auxiliary pocket on top for storage of paper and other thin items.
  • Paper: when used in conjunction with pencil, can greatly enhance pencil's memory-aiding capabilities.
  • Snake: extensible grapnel. Can double as a short- to medium-range high-speed castigator.
Barring this myriad, I'd go for some sort of energy weapon, preferably one which has an unlimited supply of energy.
-Lunair

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"Pulling together is the aim of despotism and tyranny. Free men pull in all kinds of directions." Terry Pratchett, The Truth.

From: United Union of Onions | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
137
Whiner
Member # 1465

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posted 05-04-2003 03:06 AM      Profile for 137   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I'll go with that black Eva from Evangelion, the one that gets possessed by the angel and goes berserk and all spindly. Or any cool looking Gundam with both a sword and a gun. Or just about any giant killer robot. I've often fantasized about having to go to work, so I hop in the Gundam in my backyard and use those rocket things to glide around the city, destroying buildings and baby carriages along the way. Then just set her down in the parking lot on top of any asshole co-worker's ride. What's he gonna do?
From: Space. Like, outer space. | Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged
Sonuis
Sonius
Member # 1508

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posted 05-04-2003 10:58 AM      Profile for Sonuis   Email Sonuis   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by 10,000Lb.Snorlax:
When I used to work on this ranch in Wyoming we had this really big tool room where dozens and dozens of strange looking tools were strung up.

There's nothing in Wyoming.
Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jman
Farting Nudist
Member # 618

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posted 05-04-2003 09:22 PM      Profile for Jman   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
20 Bricks.

Like in TimeSplitters 2.

Oh, and I'd be dressed like that crazy cardboard box robot guy.

From: da burgh | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged
Dark_Herakurosu
Farting Nudist
Member # 1677

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posted 05-04-2003 10:49 PM      Profile for Dark_Herakurosu   Author's Homepage   Email Dark_Herakurosu   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
A sonic blast-deploying mechanism. Preferably one that has oober high and low settings. Audible drill, sonic blast wave. And it plays mp3's. What more could ya want?

Also, this thread is now about Metallica.

[ 05-04-2003, 10:50 PM: Message edited by: Dark_Herakurosu ]

Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Mewone
I have a pokemon as my username. I mean, come on.
Member # 1694

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posted 05-04-2003 11:03 PM      Profile for Mewone     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Double scythes swarming with demon energy.

One line. I'm good. Shit, this makes two.
[This Guy]

From: Azure Heights | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
White Cat
Nobody knows why I'm an admin.
Member # 42

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posted 05-05-2003 01:08 AM      Profile for White Cat   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Falcon, what game is that quote from?
From: Calgary | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
10,000Lb.Snorlax
loves long time.
Member # 13

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posted 05-05-2003 10:24 AM      Profile for 10,000Lb.Snorlax   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Gauntlet
From: Denver | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Psybro
Half Psyduck. Half Slowbro. All cop.
Member # 290

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posted 05-05-2003 02:27 PM      Profile for Psybro   Email Psybro   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
ak 47
From: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged


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