For reference, my team was: Wigglytuff, Koffing, Psyduck, Hitmonlee, Butterfree, and Dodrio. -K

Here's my report on the Pokemon Tournament. It's much more detailed than I expected it to be, but I enjoyed remembering it almost as much as experiencing it...especially trying to figure out what happened during the battles. Sorry for the absurd length of it, but I think this one's a keeper. I want to be able to read about this after I've completely forgotten about it...

By the way, if you have as much fun as I do at these things, I recommend you write up a little report after you finish. It doesn’t have to be that detailed, but it’s nice to have something to help you remember your special days.

First of all, it took over an hour to get to the mall, which should only be 30 minutes away. The Interstate was down to one lane (I hate this town) and there were millions of people on the road at 10am on a Saturday. (As Seinfeld says, "Who ARE these people? WHERE are they going? WHY aren't they just happy where they are?")

I also didn't get any sleep the previous night, but that's normal. But I don't usually stay up all day after getting no sleep...

Anyway, I got to the mall and followed the kids and parents to the Tourney. I've seen the Pikachu VW a couple times before, but it was cool to see again. On the way in, I saw a guy in the middle of the mall in an official-looking Pokemon shirt and I immediately pegged him as a cocky geek jerk who thinks he's something special because he's good at a little computer game. I momentarily wondered if he was Cazz. He seemed like the sort certain fanboys would worship.

I got in line and met a dad and his little kid who really didn't know much about Pokemon, but was very enthusiastic. He had Red, so I asked him if he had a Scyther and he kept asking "Psyduck?". He really wanted an Abra (to give you an idea of his level of expertise), so I caught one and gave it to him. That made him really happy, so it felt like a good deed.

I got a Mew for my Blue game and was assigned a battle time of noon.

The following is an attempt to patch together all my disjointed memories. This is the only version where all the puzzle pieces fit, so it's got to be mostly accurate:

Match #1:

Before the match started I looked at my opponent (a little kid) and asked if he was nervous. He said he was and I said I was too. His hands were shaking and mine were a little jittery. I flashbacked to the show a week ago ("Ash, you're shaking..."). I think we shared a little moment.

The rules involve showing all six of your team to your opponent, then secretly selecting 3. I saw he had a lot of birds, so I picked Wigglytuff, Psyduck and Koffing. Psyduck has Blizzard and Koffing has Thunderbolt, so it seemed reasonable.

We link up and I accidentally send us into the Trade Center (like I said, I was nervous). But then I notice that the kid still has 6 Pokemon. He seemed confused about how to put them in the computer, but eventually worked it out. We start again and then HE accidentally takes us into the Trade Center.

People are starting to finish up their matches now and we haven't even started.

Finally we get going. The kid led with, of course, Mewtwo. I was expecting that and led with Wigglytuff. He Psychics and I'm expecting to be crushed, but to both our surprise, the bar stops at about 75% on Wigglytuff. He says "Huh???" and I breathe I sigh of relief.

Wiggly Body Slams the bastard. Mewtwo Blizzards, Wiggly shrugs it off and Body Slams again, paralyzing him. Next round, Wiggly goes first with a Hyper Beam and finishes him off! Woo hoo!

Next up is Pidgeot. We trade blows, but Wiggly pulls that fucker down, and still has 8 HP left. Wiggly's almost dead, so I figure it's a good time to switch. (Here's where my inexperience comes in.) I switch to Koffing, and Zapdos gets a free Thunder. Koffing takes it like a man and Sludges, doing OK damage. Zapdos Thunders again, Koffing dies. Psyduck shows up. Thunder hits...dead. Wiggly comes back. Thunder hits...dead.

So there was my lesson on the importance of Speed. And so much for all the talk of Thunder being unreliable! Actually, there was a ton of anomalous behavior this tourney. Wigglytuff was paralyzing like a madman with Body Slam. Koffing MISSED with a Sludge that would have put away a match! There's his 1 in 256 chance, I guess. Butterfree's Sleep Powder worked 2 out of about 5 attempts, but Wiggly was 100% with Sing. Thunder hit me every time but once, I think.

Very strange...shows you how useful averages really are when the sample pool is small enough.

Anyway, they have it worked out so most kids get at least one badge. You get a Boulder for winning your first match and a Cascade for winning the second. A random Cascade winner goes off to be humiliated by the Nintendo guys in a match shown on big teevees.

After the first match, winners fight winners and losers fight losers, so at least 75% of the kids get a badge. (Well, everyone gets a Thank-you-for-playing badge, which we referred to as "Loser Badges".)

Match #2:

Well, it turns out you have to use the same 3 Pokemon you used in the first match in the second match. Didn't know that. Might not have been so gung ho on Koffing otherwise. Anyway, the other kid decides he wants to switch Pokemon and starts screwing around. At least he didn't have Mewtwo.

Finally he gets all 3 ready and he sends us into the Trade Center. I was the last to finish last round and now this kid was making us even later.

Anyway, he leads with Dugtrio. He misses with Fissure and Wiggly Body Slams for great damage. But next round Fissure hits. Uh oh. I've never seen Fissure hit before.

Because I'd mostly just played the lame NPCs in the Gameboy!

Psyduck polishes off Dugtrio.

Blastoise comes out and he and Psyduck trade misses a few times. He gets frustrated and switches to Zapdos.

The Nintendo guy starts yelling at us to hurry up at this point and then I don't remember exactly what happened. I should have switched Psyduck out immediately, but Psyduck didn't die, since the guy didn't use an Electric attack on him. (I think we were both flustered.) Psyduck's Blizzard missed. I switched to Koffing, who got Thundered, but lived.

Koffing and Zapdos went back and forth, with Zapdos doing some defensive stuff (not Double Team) and finally missing for once with Thunder. Zapdos did a Fly and Koffing shot at nothing. I was surely dead, but Zapdos was in bad shape too, so I went for the old reliable Sludge. He came down from the Fly...and missed! The game was mine, with Koffing's Thunderbolt waiting for Blastoise! And then Sludge...MISSED! FUCK!

So I figured, what the Hell, and went for Explosion, which was pretty stupid since Psyduck would have probably lost to Blastoise, but I was trying to reason with the Nintendo guy and play at the same time.

Zapdos was already in the air when Koffing Exploded and when he came down, Psyduck was there to take the hit and it was over.

I THINK that's how it went, but there were about 3 conversations going on at that time, most of which centering around how late we were.

Krap.

To top it all off, I ran into the kid I'd met earlier and he'd taken both badges in the Pika Cup! Son of a...

There were a lot of people who didn't know what they were doing in the lower levels, tho, so I guess it's apples and oranges. I'm sure I would have done a lot better in the lower competitions, since only psychos and cheaters have L100 Pokemon. But still...

And so ends Part I. Can Mr. K possibly win with this line-up? Tune in next episode and find out!

quote:

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only psychos and cheaters have L100 Pokemon

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heheh...

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Life itself is luck! Whether you have good luck ore bad luck all depends on how much you put your heart into something. But, frankly your luck really has nothing to do with me.