The Azure Heights Forum


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | search | faq | forum home
  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» The Azure Heights Forum   » The Courtyard   » Karp Park   » How to cheat.

UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: How to cheat.
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

Member Rated:
posted 06-13-2003 04:42 AM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I just remembered one of the best cheats I ever pulled off.

Ok, it went like this: Randy and Eric were playing against Alex and I in Warcraft II, before any of us knew how to play. We didn't have a four player game: Eric would watch the minimap for Randy and remind him of shit, and Alex would do the same for me.

Alex and I are the bigger nerds, though.

These are my Miami friends I'm speaking of here, the guys I've known forever.

The game dragged on and on for close to an hour. We knew we'd have to stop to eat, but I knew the game was about up: I was out of mines, and my gold was down to several hundred (each unit costs a couple hundred, so this was realyl bad: all he had to do was build up and come in). Anyway, I was going to surrender, but Randy suggested we just save the game and finish later.

Ok, I agreed.

Then I gave Alex a task.

"FIND THAT FILE, put it on a floppy, and get back here without them knowing!"

So he did, making some excuse about something (Eric lives down the street).

He brought it back. I had cleverly marked down the exact amount of gold that I had before the save. I did a search for it as a 32 bit integer. I found it in place A in my file and place B is his file, and the number in place B and place A was evidently their amount of gold (each machine thinks it's player 1).

I hoped against hope that it was it, and I changed it to something much, much larger.

Alex's new task was to bring it back over. We were fucking dying to see it work.

It did. I had a fuck ton of gold. I started building out of every building I had to have enough for his inevitable push, and then I got greedy and went with dragons, the most gold inefficient unit in the game. Dragons, death knights, ogres, the works. And no need for expansions, just upgrades and death machines.

Once I had a metric ton of dragonflesh and a bit of siege weaponry (for range), I whooped upon him.

Randy was very impressed. He could of sworn I was going to run out of gold, he said.

Thankfully, I had more gold than exists in any ten games of Warcraft II stockpiled up.

I came clean afterword, of course...

But man was that great.

Don't let anybody ever tell you cheating doesn't feel good.

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

Member Rated:
posted 06-13-2003 09:34 AM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
[PBJ Time!]
one time I knew and the guy who tackled me into touch just before the try line in a national qualifiers game where those points put us through knew that he had dragged me into touch before I grounded the ball over the line. But I had crashed through at such speed that the linesman sure as hell didn't know. And after my entire team jumped on me celebrating he wasn't gonna dissalow it either. Everyone except the officials knew about it. It felt fucking great to have cheated those dirty shits out of their national final.

- - - - -
OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk
Happy Good Times Fortune Happiness Happity Hocks Cat-Gonk Happifier
Member # 14

Member Rated:
posted 06-13-2003 11:28 AM      Profile for Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I blatantly fouled a guy in soccer right infront of the ref. He let it slide because the guy still had the ball. However, he didn't have any of his lower right leg. After about two steps he fell over and had to be carried off. I lolled.

- - - - -
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jetblackvalias

From: Perth, Western Australia. | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
IceHawk78
NOBODY IMPORTANT
Member # 1699

Member Rated:
posted 06-13-2003 11:53 AM      Profile for IceHawk78   Author's Homepage   Email IceHawk78   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk:
I blatantly fouled a guy in soccer right infront of the ref. He let it slide because the guy still had the ball. However, he didn't have any of his lower right leg. After about two steps he fell over and had to be carried off. I lolled.

Soccer?

I thought you weren't a 'merinac.

From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Porygone
The Goatse Man
Member # 805

Member Rated:
posted 06-13-2003 05:23 PM      Profile for Porygone   Email Porygone   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Maybe he just called it 'soccer' for the sake of the ignorant Americans who come here.

- - - - -
YOU'RE WINNER!

From: Celadon City Gym | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged
10,000Lb.Snorlax
loves long time.
Member # 13

Member Rated:
posted 06-13-2003 07:13 PM      Profile for 10,000Lb.Snorlax   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Maybe he's really from Ohio
From: Denver | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk
Happy Good Times Fortune Happiness Happity Hocks Cat-Gonk Happifier
Member # 14

Member Rated:
posted 06-13-2003 08:49 PM      Profile for Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Or maybe it's because in Australia, "football' refers to Aussie Rules Football.

- - - - -
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jetblackvalias

From: Perth, Western Australia. | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
MK
is somewhat large.
Member # 1445

Member Rated:
posted 06-13-2003 08:51 PM      Profile for MK     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Back on my 386SX after I found out about the wonderful DOS editor I performed something like

edit c:\windows\minesweeper.ini

you figure it out ^_^;

Registered: Jan 2001  |  IP: Logged
Psybro
Half Psyduck. Half Slowbro. All cop.
Member # 290

Member Rated:
posted 06-13-2003 08:56 PM      Profile for Psybro   Email Psybro   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk:
Or maybe it's because in Australia, "football' refers to Aussie Rules Football.

That thing looked kind of cool, like rugby but with more jumping.
From: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk
Happy Good Times Fortune Happiness Happity Hocks Cat-Gonk Happifier
Member # 14

Member Rated:
posted 06-13-2003 10:50 PM      Profile for Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
It's actually not that bad a sport if you don't mind running the risk of some dude leaping up onto your back with spiked shoes, then landing on you as he catches the ball.

I could never bounce the fucking ball correctly though.

- - - - -
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jetblackvalias

From: Perth, Western Australia. | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
pkthunder
I look like your mom.
Member # 67

Member Rated:
posted 06-13-2003 11:04 PM      Profile for pkthunder   Author's Homepage   Email pkthunder   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
I like how the Australian Football umpires signal a goal with their hands.
From: Westminster, CO | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

Member Rated:
posted 06-14-2003 06:54 AM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
It's just a load of small shorts wearing pansies who weren't good enough to get picked for the rugby union team, weren't stupid enough to play for the rugby league team, weren't boring enough to play for the cricket team and weren't gay enough to join the swimming team.

- - - - -
OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Coxy
Hulkamania has run wild over me.
Member # 2297

Member Rated:
posted 06-14-2003 08:51 AM      Profile for Coxy   Email Coxy   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Footballers: smarter than rugby players, but dumber than hockey players.
Whatchagonnado?

- - - - -
I love nintendolover, but only in a strictly platonic sense.

From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
cfalcon
OLDNBLD
Member # 19

Member Rated:
posted 06-15-2003 04:11 AM      Profile for cfalcon   Email cfalcon   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
You guys hacked my thread.

Stop talking about sports guys, this is a nerd thread.

From: 39°45' N, 104°52' W | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

Member Rated:
posted 06-15-2003 10:46 AM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
15-13 ooo yeah baby, come on you Aussies you are primed for the romping and we're gonna enjoy it.

- - - - -
OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged
Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk
Happy Good Times Fortune Happiness Happity Hocks Cat-Gonk Happifier
Member # 14

Member Rated:
posted 06-15-2003 11:47 AM      Profile for Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
This thread will now be used to discuss how Australia is the greatest sporting nation in the world, especially with comparisons to Britain. Jokes about the state of English Cricket will be awarded double points.

lol the only game you poms can beat us at is soccer, and that's because it's only just gotten a commercial-scale following.

- - - - -
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jetblackvalias

From: Perth, Western Australia. | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Manuel Calavera
Sock Lover
Member # 1202

Member Rated:
posted 06-15-2003 03:03 PM      Profile for Manuel Calavera     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Australian beer sucks.

- - - - -
Gates is the Saddam Hussein of the consumer technology world. ~ Mr.K

From: Newcastle, Home of Geordies, Brown Ale and The Wildhearts | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
Psybro
Half Psyduck. Half Slowbro. All cop.
Member # 290

Member Rated:
posted 06-15-2003 03:42 PM      Profile for Psybro   Email Psybro   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Fosters isn't beer.
From: Sheffield, South Yorkshire, UK | Registered: Apr 2000  |  IP: Logged
Charmeleon42
Date Rapist
Member # 1066

Member Rated:
posted 06-15-2003 07:24 PM      Profile for Charmeleon42   Author's Homepage   Email Charmeleon42   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Sports suck in pretty much every way conceivable, so I am in support of reverting the thread to it's original topic.
From: Mountain Dew Land | Registered: Oct 2000  |  IP: Logged
Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk
Happy Good Times Fortune Happiness Happity Hocks Cat-Gonk Happifier
Member # 14

Member Rated:
posted 06-15-2003 08:54 PM      Profile for Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Psybro:
Fosters isn't beer.

Or Australian.

- - - - -
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jetblackvalias

From: Perth, Western Australia. | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
Coxy
Hulkamania has run wild over me.
Member # 2297

Member Rated:
posted 06-15-2003 09:24 PM      Profile for Coxy   Email Coxy   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Beer: Lubricating Australian Society
------------------------------
No nation in the world makes beer like we do in Australia. Sit down, Texas! I've warned you before! One more outburst like that, and you'll have a family of rock wallabies living in that gigantic cave you like to call a mouth!

The Belgians have a fair crack at making beer, and the Germans, too, seem to know a little bit about it. The British like theirs hot and flat, which is the equivalent of trying to quench your thirst by sucking on the tepid bladder of a dead goanna. It might keep you alive for an extra day, but it's a desperate act! The USA makes the odd tasty brew, but in general the words "insipid" and "lite" leap to mind every time I think of a Budweiser or a Miller. (And I know you blokes are a bit funny on your spellings over there, but what in the bloody hell is wrong with "light"? It stops you from tripping over your knuckles in the dark, you Neanderthal scrotes! Fair dinkum!) American beer is possum piss, I'm afraid. When it comes to brewing top-notch beer, Australia is the only country that has more chance than a one-legged Rebel in an arse-kicking competition.

But beer is so much more than a tasty beverage in Australia. It's an institution, with regional, cultural and social variations aplenty.

For example, did you know that in the late 19th and early 20th centuries, Queenslanders had the lowest rate of literacy in the developing world? Were the beer brewers put off? Of course not. They just labelled their beer XXXX (pronounced "Four-Ex"), and the Cane Toads (as they are known to the rest of us normal Aussies) have been happily pissed ever since. And just so the geographically challenged Victorians (Australia's Mexicans) could remember where they lived, their brewers gave their beers names such as Victoria Bitter and Melbourne Bitter. Reckon I'd be bloody bitter if I had to live there, too!

You can often tell a lot about a person by the beer he or she is drinking. For example, a Tooheys drinker probably drives a Holden car, wears ugh boots, stretch jeans and a flannelette shirt, and has never set eyes on the letter G: "What are you f---in' lookin' at, mate! Piss off or I'll job ya!" Social graces? I don't think so.

Your more refined imbiber, on the other hand, might drink Crown Lager. This gold-labelled BMW of beers is the tipple of choice for chaps who drive European cars, and wear pinstriped suits, crisp cotton shirts and silk ties. In other words, poncing bloody yuppies who need taking out the back and thrashing with an axe handle. Frankly, they shouldn't be allowed to drink beer! In fact, they should be deported, the bloody leeches!

OK, yuppies are people too. (Christ, that hurt to say!) And you had to pick the best thing about drinking beer in Australia -- and by the Lord Harry, there's a long list of possibles -- it's that everybody does it. Everywhere from the Melbourne Cup to the Birdsville Races, from the Sydney Opera House to strippers' night at the Fifield Pub, everyone from the Prime Minister to Greasy Joe O'Donell, the local Goggomobile mechanic and horse-shoer, can be seen rubbing shoulders at the bar, shouting their mates schooner after schoone of the golden brew of angels.

So when you come to Australia -- and don't think I'm inviting you, you foreign rabble -- just remember this: The quickest way to make friends, spend all your money, and wake up in the gutter with a pounding head and a mouth like the bottom of a budgie cage is to buy an Aussie a beer. They still won't like you, but you'll be as popular as a plate of lamingtons at the Sunday School fete.

And my rating for Aussie beer? A deliciously hop-flavoured 0 out of 11 (I'd give it less if I could), a perfect score, because do you know what I hate about beer? Nothing!

- - - - -
I love nintendolover, but only in a strictly platonic sense.

From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2001  |  IP: Logged
Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk
Happy Good Times Fortune Happiness Happity Hocks Cat-Gonk Happifier
Member # 14

Member Rated:
posted 06-15-2003 10:21 PM      Profile for Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk   Author's Homepage     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Coxy:
And just so the geographically challenged Victorians (Australia's Mexicans)

oh god

help

i'm crying

ahahahahahahahahaha

lol one of my friends is victorian..i'm never calling him anything other than "wetback" again..

- - - - -
http://www.livejournal.com/users/jetblackvalias

From: Perth, Western Australia. | Registered: Feb 2000  |  IP: Logged
IceHawk78
NOBODY IMPORTANT
Member # 1699

Member Rated:
posted 06-16-2003 01:38 AM      Profile for IceHawk78   Author's Homepage   Email IceHawk78   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
Translationg for stood americans?
From: Ohio | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged
Jaybee
Farting Nudist
Member # 1781

posted 06-16-2003 02:43 AM      Profile for Jaybee   Email Jaybee   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Ancient Egyptian Cat-Gonk:
lol the only game you poms can beat us at is soccer, and that's because it's only just gotten a commercial-scale following.

Hahah, we beat them at that too.

And at least our beer isn't warm. Or flat.

From: Sydney | Registered: May 2001  |  IP: Logged
Manuel Calavera
Sock Lover
Member # 1202

Member Rated:
posted 06-16-2003 03:53 AM      Profile for Manuel Calavera     Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
quote:
Originally posted by Psybro:
Fosters isn't beer.

Whoever said it was?

- - - - -
Gates is the Saddam Hussein of the consumer technology world. ~ Mr.K

From: Newcastle, Home of Geordies, Brown Ale and The Wildhearts | Registered: Nov 2000  |  IP: Logged
Boodabonzi
like a virgin
Member # 2958

Member Rated:
posted 06-16-2003 12:34 PM      Profile for Boodabonzi   Email Boodabonzi   Send New Private Message      Edit/Delete Post  Reply With Quote 
but the only sport I REALLY care about is Rugby Union so if we beat you - AGAIN - then I'm still gonna be 100% satisfied

- - - - -
OK, I know I'm probably not the nicest Pokemon Trainer when it comes to giving advice, and if I get flamed on this, it is probably well deserved. So here goes...

From: Hitchin - biggest little shanty town in all of England | Registered: Jul 2002  |  IP: Logged


All times are ET (US)  
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic    Move Topic    Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Azure Heights Pokémon Laboratory

© 2000-2013, Maximum Penetration Industries.

Powered by Infopop Corporation
Ultimate Bulletin BoardTM 6.2.1.2


The views and opinions expressed on this page are strictly those of the author(s). The contents and links have not been reviewed or approved by the University of Miami.